Out of the frying pan

Chapter 12:

Later that night, at around eight or so, they were still at I.H.O.S. Jim and Malik were listening to Marik stress out over Curt getting away with his rod. Malik was upset about his missing millennium rod, as well… but no one gets depressed like Marik.

"Oh my Ra…" Marik sobbed on the floor, "My rod! My precious millennium rod! Gone… gone forever!"

"…" Jim tilted his head, "Well, um, sorry Marik. You can get it back… c-can't you?"

Malik slapped Jim on the back of his head, "Dork. Why are you always so… helpful?"

"Marik seems sad…" Jim answered.

"Oh please!"

"I can't get it back…" Marik's voice dropped to a dramatic whisper, "McDonalds is closed right now, and I don't know where Curt lives… Oh, my millennium rod. I knew you well. I remember all those warm summer nights when I'd put my socks on the top of it and play sock puppet theatre… Good times, good times…"

There was a moment of silence.

Malik looked around. The fat people were still standing in their places. They hadn't moved or done anything since Curt and Taylor ran out of the restaurant earlier, which made Malik think…

"Hey, Marik!" Malik sat on the floor next to his yami, "Marik, I thought of something!"

Marik sniffed, "What…?"

"Well, Curt has our rods, right? And his goal is to try and free these people… but how can he do that? I mean, aren't we the only ones who can use the millennium rods?"

"Hey… you're right! How's he gonna do anything?!" Marik stood up triumphantly, "Hooray! We can still have our army and take over the world!"

Marik began his Egyptian victory dance. Which looked a lot like the hokey pokey.

"…Wait a minute, Marik. I didn't say that."

Marik stopped dancing, "What do you mean, Malik?"

"Well, even if they can't control our army, we can't either. We don't have the millennium rods right now, so we can't really do much of anything."

"Huh?! But we have to open the restaurant tomorrow! How are we supposed to serve food with a bunch of fat people taking up all this space?!"

Malik shrugged.

Jim had been quiet for a while; he was trying to bite off a scab on his right elbow. But before he could get it all off, Malik slapped him.

"Ouch!" Jim rubbed his cheek, "What was that for?"

"None of this would have happened if you weren't here today." Malik glared, "I mean, everything you do ends up in disaster! Like when you sat down to have a sandwich in the middle of the room! Or when you took the millennium rod from Curt and handed it to Marik! Ugh! And now you're… eating your scabs!"

"I'm hungry again."

"… Do you see, Marik?! Do you see what you have let enter our lives?!"

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Back at McDonalds, the rest of the employees had gone home a while back. That left Curt and Taylor alone in the office, with the millennium rods.

"…So," Taylor said, "These things have the power to control people's mind's huh?"

Curt nodded, "That's right. That's why we have to be careful with these while were figuring out how to free those poor people's minds."

"Hmm… I got an idea."

"What is it?"

"Well, say we don't free their minds. What if we use them and make everyone our customers by force? Wouldn't that be better? Then everyone on the planet would come to McDonalds."

"What's wrong with you, boy?! Marik's craziness must be rubbing off on you!"

"But sir-"

"No! We're not going to sink to Marik's level. We're going to do this the right way."

Taylor sighed, "Whatever you say, sir."

"That's right. Whatever I say. Now…" he picked up one of the rod's off the desk, "How do I work this thing?"

"Hmm." Taylor picked up the second one, "Maybe there's a secret password or something."

"I told you earlier, that won't work."

"Aw, how do you know unless you've tried? We should give it a shot." Taylor looked the millennium rod in the eye, "Open Sesame!"

Nothing happened.

"…Well, that was stupid." Curt waved it around, "Maybe there's a switch or button to activate it."

"It's worth a try. Let's look for something."

They both spent about five minutes looking for some sort of secret compartment that held an activation button or dial. They found none and Curt rubbed his temples for a while. "This isn't working." He said, "Let's try something else."

"…" Taylor tilted his head, "Wait a minute, let me try something. I saw this in a movie once."

"Go ahead."

Taylor lifted the millennium rod to his lips and licked it. Then he starred at it as if awaiting something to happen.

A moment passed and Taylor shrugged, "I guess it didn't work."

"What the hell did you expect to happen?! You licked it!"

"Well, gee wiz… I was only trying to help."

"Ugh!" Curt stood up and chucked the millennium rod towards his young employee. Before it made contact with his face, Taylor shoved his rod in front of him so it would absorb the blow.

Both of the rods broke instantly and fell to the floor.

Taylor opened his eyes, "…You could've killed me!"

"Sorry." Curt scratched his head, "I guess sometimes I just lose control."

Curt walked around the desk and looked on the floor. Both the millennium rods were broken into two pieces. Curt gasped, "Oh no! Now how are we going to free the people?!"

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Marik and Malik were sitting alone in the front room at I.H.O.S. Jim was no longer there. After Malik threatened to Jim's veins out, piece by piece, Jim decided to go out back to his dumpster and get a good night's sleep.

"Well, I guess we can use these people as lawn gnomes." Marik sighed, "I'll get Jim to move them out front tomorrow before we open."

Malik glared, "I can move twice as many fat people than Jim ever could."

"Fine. You move more than four tons of flesh out to the front lawn."

"…Never mind."

As you can see, they were more or less… depressed. Another minute of silence passed and then they decided to go home. Marik was about to turn off the lights but as he walked over to the switch, something happened.

Some of the zombie-like people in the room started to move. They got the glazed look out of their eyes and began to regain the color in their faces.

"…Uh, where am I?" one of the men asked.

Another twitched, "My feet hurt. I feel like I've been standing for an eternity…"

Malik looked at Marik, "What the hell…? Marik, what happened?!"

"I-I don't know. Do you think Curt figured out how to use the millennium rods?"

"No way! How could he? We're the only one's that could use them, right?"

"That's what I thought…"

Malik and Marik watched as there once obedient army of mind slaves started to walk out the front door. Malik didn't even try to stop them. What use would it do anyway? He'd just get trampled.

"I can't believe it." Marik said when they'd all left, "We have no millennium rods and now no fat army! Is the world against us?!"

"I guess we don't get the cool lawn gnomes then."