Three in One
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What is it about?
Its about ambition, power, revenge.
Its about memories, betrayals, love.
Love.
You think it doesn't matter, but it does. It's the only thing that matters, really. Love for your clan, love for yourself, even love for your teammates. Yes, you did-- do love your teammates in your own twisted way though no one would catch you saying that. Hate would have been more appropriate for you, wouldn't it- it seems to direct your words and actions and deeds. But there's only so much you can hate in the world before hating yourself, and since you can't afford that, you do everything for a screwed-up love of something and keep all the hate for one person and one person only. Start hating yourself and thats where it all ends- only when he dies and Uchiha is more than a fucking one person clan, then you can stop pretending.
So do it for love of power, love of your clan, love of Konoha, love of her-- whatever twisted logic it takes to keep you going and keep the memories away. Because when you trade your future for your past, you can't have regrets and get sick of it all when its all you've got left.
You can't wish you never left. So you don't, especially at night.
What is it about?
Its about loneliness, dreams, trust.
Its about home, friendships, hope.
Hope.
Its what keeps you going, what drives you on. The maybes, what ifs, I coulds of the world- thats what makes life worth living; thats what keeps you believing.
Believe in what? Anything. Something. Yourself, most of all. Anyone can see that- heck, everyone can see that. If you don't, who would? So you drive yourself on, live for the future, for that next bit of horizon on the hill and hope to hell reality won't ever catch up with you. Hokage is more than a title- its the ultimate dream: its close enough so you might, just might make it and far enough that once you do, you can prove to yourself and everyone you are worth it. Worth being acknowledged, worth being a leader, worth being liked, for once.
The trick is to keep thinking its going to happen, that its going to work out. He'd still come around once you find and beat him up, she'll smile again for you, they'd all understand and welcome you next time you come home from a mission. And team seven would never die; not where it matters, not when it counts. Comrades till the end, right?
Sometimes you wish you're as dumb as they think, so you won't see how Jiraiya smiles too wide when he talks about his old teammates.
What is it about?
Its about fluff, smiles, happy endings.
Its about hugs, true love, white doves.
Of course, that's what its all about.
But its not.
Silly, isn't it? They think you're the most idealistic of the three and they're probably right. What they don't know is that being idealistic doesn't mean you're blind to what's real and what's not.
Like them, for example. You can see the hurt and the jealousy and bitterness but you don't know how to remind them rivals can be friends, too. How rivals were friends and still are, even if they know it and deny it. The kunochi is supposed to be the peace-keeper of the group but how can you do that when there is no group? Not in a physical sense, anyway and the other sense is fading with every day.
It would be nice to stop pretending. To scream that no, you aren't alright and yes, you do think of more than just one beautiful boy. That you do worry and ache and wonder of what's going to happen to your other teammate-because you care more than he thinks- and that you see further and more clearly than they think. That you know your sensei's more tired and worried than he lets on, and the terror of what's going to happen to all of you – all of you- grows stronger everyday.
Because you've seen a glimpse of the future, and it isn't pretty for any of you.
It would be nice to wish for a miracle, but you aren't as idealistic as that yet, and so you go out and try to mend things for the last time.
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What was it about?
You don't know, but a million years ago, it could have been about you, him, and her.
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fly me to the moon, let me sing among the stars
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