A/N: Alright, the chapter you are about to read is at first bizarre and then truly shows us what the meaning of this fic is. What really is "Beyond the Foxes Eyes"? Do we truly know EVERYTHING about Shane's past? This chapter will be by far the most enchanting. Get ready for some ACTUAL romance as the chapter concludes. Until now there hasn't been much of any. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, it a true work of art.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Starfox, Nintendo and/or Rare do. Any relation to my original characters in anyway is entirely coincidental. If you would like to use one of my original characters feel free to ask!
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Chapter 16: Innocence
They'd been sitting around reading the diary for days and it made Shane make more and more sense. At first when the two foxes read it, they were mad. Now as Fox and Krystal read further into the diary. The anger faded and sadness began to swell up.
Fox wasn't at the point to show remorse however. It didn't separate from the fact that of all the vixens he HAD to set his eyes on Krystal. But to find out that Shane was a lonely soul and really didn't have any friends made Fox realize that Shane didn't know what love was then. He had been starting to experience it but didn't know the feeling until Krystal came around. Or did he?
Krystal on the other hand was having a different reaction to it all. She started to feel as though Shane was using her. Was what they had for that brief period of time real? What if Shane really was just using her? Until she read into the diary she wasn't going to find out. She was sure it was real. After all, the entries they were reading were written four years ago. Maybe then he was desperate to lift the curse but later he couldn't have been THAT desperate. After all, it was Krystal who showed Shane what "trust" really was. It was Shane who returned that trust. Shane also admitted to her that he loved the life of a furry.
"There aren't many entries left. In fact, I don't think it even gets to us." Fox flipped through the pages slowly. One-by-one eyeing each one. The current year was 1025, and the diary only seemed to go up to 1024. Why would Shane suddenly stop when his story was coming to an end? Fox wanted to find out and of course the only way was to read deeper into Shane's past. What other secrets did the vulpine have?
July 30, 1021
Because Katt asked me to, I took a moment to read the book Mia had given to me. Sure it couldn't tell me how to act, but it would probably help me learn the lifestyle a lot better.
There were things perplexing to me. Furs weren't too much like humans it seemed. Not saying I was an expert on humans but I did get the general idea of how humans could be. Furs didn't seem like them very much. At least that's what it seemed like at first.
Furs were commonly shorter than humans. Very few were of the same height. Not so surprising really. I'd killed enough furs to know that by common sense. With the thought that I'd killed a fur, while I myself am now a fur, suddenly made my heart sink. I felt as if I'd killed a member of my family.
Everyday when I wake up, I remember the wolf that came to my door. The only fur to ever escape me. I'd do anything for him now. Anything to make up for nearly taking his life and for taking his eye. I see him in my dreams and wonder what's become of him now.
But putting that aside, a little more from the book Mia gave me. A furry is rarely too hot, or too cold. The fur grows thicker in the winter and sheds in the spring. It made me wish I'd known that sooner.
The furs seemed to be extremely fast. Much faster than any human, which explains why the wolf was able to escape. I didn't take him by surprise like I did the others. Of all the furs the cheetah seemed to be the fastest but a fox wasn't far behind.
As well as being faster, they have the ability to be much more agile. They're swifter and more evasive. It must come with the speed.
What struck me as a much bigger interest were the claws. They were "sheathed". A word I'd only heard in conjunction with a sword in my books. Apparently claws were covered in a "sheath" on the body. I can control when to use them, though I haven't really learned much. I still cut myself from time to time but now I got the hang of it. It could even be a simple reaction (like when I nearly struck the platinum vixen the day we met).
There was so much more to learn though. It shows that furs don't like to drink coffee in the morning. They like sweetened tea. I wasn't much for coffee anyway. A drink that taste like chalk to me isn't my idea of a drink. I'd rather drink tea in the morning as it is. It's healthier for the body anyway.
Furs seem to be more affectionate in many different ways than humans. I learned they could possibly be even more affectionate than humans (with how much love there is in Earth could there possibly be ANYTHING more mushy?).
Apparently furs can show affection in ways that humans either can't, or choose not to because it just looks silly. Like a belly-rub. Imagine you're out in the middle of the town square in Earth with the woman you love and suddenly she lifts up your shirt and starts rubbing your belly! That would look ridiculous! But to furs… that's normal? Apparently so, and it doesn't stop there. As if the kissing and corny dialogue humans exchange with one another wasn't enough, furs LICK as well as kiss. Sometimes on the nose or the cheek. Imagine a human licking his or her spouse. That would look pretty disturbing. Nibbling on the neck as well is pretty disturbing to me. Then there's the nuzzle… and I seem to be rambling. So many ways of affection that I've never seen humans express before.
The last thing I noted was the senses of sight, smell and hearing were all better. I could smell several times better than any human could and hear twice the distance. I probably wouldn't need reading glasses anymore because everything seemed clear.
I guess being a fur isn't all that bad, but hell I get to have a tail so it's an even trade as far as a unique physique goes. But I had a longer bridge on my nose, which I wasn't used to. I couldn't seem to control my tail all the time but it makes a "handy" hand.
I took a look at myself in the mirror the other day. Katt told me I was pretty cute. When I looked at myself in the mirror I didn't quite see it. I had red slits on my eyelids; I noticed when I winked to see just what changed on me besides the fact that I was very hairy. My white belly fur seemed strange at first. I was all black and white except for my eyelids. My tail had a white tail-tip and the bridge of my nose was white.
I looked at myself and ran my paws through my fur. I even ruffled my fur… just to kind of see why a dog likes to be petted. For some reason it made me feel warm… and fuzzy inside. But one thing didn't stand well. The scar across my chest was not going to go away! I already looked ugly enough, the scar only made it worse. But for some reason Katt thought I was pretty attractive.
As I stared at myself in the mirror this morning, I realized one thing that hadn't changed. My eyes. My eyes were still the same powder of crystal blue. They looked exactly the same as they had when I was changed. I soon came to realize… it's the only part of my human self I have left.
I put my shirt back on to cover up the scar. My shirt was white and I had on blue jeans. I finally realized this look wasn't going to do. It was too… colorful. I want to be able to wander around and not be noticed right away. I wanted to be able to make others fear me, mostly the humans. I wanted to be unnoticed. I was already fast enough as a human. I've got to be fast as hell as a fox.
I decided the colorful look wasn't going to do if I was to be a lonely fox. I stripped myself of my clothes and went browsing through my closet. I had a lot more color than I thought in my dressing room. Finally, I came a cross the perfect shirt. It had the design of an "X" on it, sewed in perfectly. It was long sleeved but if anything I could roll the sleeves up. I then found some pants. They had a chain on them, but as I kept telling myself, I wanted to be undetected. I took the chain off and put on the black pants. Now I was fully covered in black. I was swift already. Should someone take noticed to me they wouldn't be able to see my face in time. They'll learn to fear me, and I'll learn to fear them. I'm not a human anymore I'm a fox. My name is Shane and the world of furs is slowly opening up to me.
***
After that last entry Krystal had one of the questions answered that she'd always wanted answered. The reason Shane wore black. Shane had told her it was to blend with his fur and that wasn't at all true.
"You have anything you want to say?" Fox asked. He wasn't going to waste anytime getting through the diary.
"Only that I wish I'd known him sooner. Maybe if we'd had meant him sooner he wouldn't have to be ashamed of being an outcast."
Fox nodded, and it didn't stop him from turning the page and beginning the next entry.
***
August 17, 1021
It was about two days ago when I was reading more of the book Mia gave me. Looking more into what furs were scared of. It was then I came to notice that humans and furs weren't as different as everyone thought they were. Furs may have a few ups on humans, but I found that they were typically scared of the same things. Being the prey, being hurt emotionally and physically and most of all, each other. Furs were friendly but like humans they're nervous when meeting someone knew, especially of the opposite sex.
It seemed strange to read this at first but I began to notice that it was true. Humans were afraid of the same things. Humans were probably more violent because furs don't use guns they use their claws.
It was August 15th when all this happened, mind you. That day I got a knock at my door and when I answered it was a human. Now, I'd already been a human and I wasn't scared. As long as a human didn't have a gun or blade in this lifetime, they were harmless.
This human was a woman. In the back of my mind something was telling me I knew this woman. She was a blonde woman with shiny eyes and she was wearing a red shirt with blue shorts. "Can I come in?"
Another one of Mia's cronies, I thought. She sent this human here to show me that there could be a bond between furs and humans. After reading the book "Being a Furry" I was ready to believe a bond could exist. Was this to test that?
The blonde woman walked into the main hall and off to my living room. I followed behind her closely. When she walked into the living room she screamed. When I ran in after her I saw what the fuss was about. The trophies.
"You're barbaric!" She screamed.
"No, that isn't what it looks like!" I tried to calm her down.
"Why, if you're a furry, do you have the heads of other furs on your wall."
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you…" I said, but sighed. "I was once a human. I was an arrogant, self-centered bastard. Too caught up in my skills, rude and indecent. An old woman came by. At least I thought she was an old woman. When she revealed she wasn't a woman but a vixen, I was turned into this fox. I haven't taken down the trophies yet."
"Well you should!" The woman screamed. "Put them down in the East Wing with all your other human accessories you don't use anymore."
I raised a brow. "How did you know that?"
The woman giggled. "You showed me before!" Then a pink light surrounded her and when the flash was gone there stood Katt Monroe.
I was shocked. There were more shape shifters than just Mia. I should've guessed. She sat down in the chair.
"May I bring you anything?" I asked. Wait… DID I just ask that?
"I'm flattered, but no. I'm fine. You should really get rid of those," she pointed to the trophies, "you'll never get a mate if you leave those up."
"Why bother I'll be a human when I get the mate anyway." I retorted.
"And that attitude will have to go too." She said. Kat had been checking up on me for the past few months. Dropping by from time to time. She said she'd stop coming by when I set my eye on someone. "It's great to see you've been reading the book for a while."
"How do you know THAT!?" I asked in shock. I may have been reading the book when she stopped by, but she couldn't have known since I hide it away all the time when she comes by. I didn't want her to know I'd actually picked it up.
"Mia has been watching you. She has a crystal ball. She's concerned for you." Katt smiled.
"Is she watching us now?" I asked.
"I would imagine so."
"She's trying to play God now?"
"Nope, trying to play The Great Fox."
"The what?"
"Never mind. If you go to Corneria you'll hear the story, I assure you."
She sat back and relaxed and I was now on the armrest. She scooted over in suggestion that I sit. I didn't know what to do at that point in time. I slid in next to her anyway and for whatever reason she put her paw on my leg. "Are you going to do away with the trophies? Tell me you will."
She looked me dead in the eyes and I just COULDN'T say no. "Yes, I'll put them away… for you."
She looked me in the eyes and reminded me, "Don't get any ideas, I'm not a vixen."
The feeling was different. Finally she rested her head on my shoulder and whispered, "But enjoy the furry life while you can."
I was nervous. I'd never had ANYONE do this sort of thing to me before. Suddenly Katt looked up at me and uttered the words, "Do I make you nervous?"
What was she trying to do? I could tell I was a little shaky and I slowly replied, "Very." I just couldn't bring up the strength to lie. Besides, it was obvious I was nervous. I wanted to slap myself. I must've looked really dumb sitting beside her.
She breathed softly and ran her paw up my leg and to my shirt. "Why did you star wearing black?"
I didn't want to tell her I wanted the people to fear me so I told her a lie, "I do this because it blends nicely with my fur." She nodded and then I told her something I didn't really think I'd EVER think to say. "Black is such a unique color. It isn't just a color, it means something. Black is the color of darkness and everybody fears it. But to me Black is a mystery. What's hidden behind the color? Blue looks innocent, but black truly speaks, 'mysterious'. Others perceive black as something evil. I'm like the color black, Katt. I'm not evil, I'm mysterious."
Coming from my mouth it must've sounded artistic. But I began to realize I was doing just what I DIDN'T want to do. I was acting just like a human! I was making a fool of myself. Not just that but I realized I was starting to sound really mushy.
Katt didn't say anything about it however. I thought for sure she'd tell me I was sounding like an idiot. But instead, "I think you're right. Black, a mysterious color, describes you rather well. You are mysterious Shane. In more ways than one."
She ran a paw up my shirt and then I was feeling even more nervous. "Katt…" I said. But she persisted and began to rub my belly. She couldn't be! Or would she?
I grabbed her paw up my shirt and moved it away. "You're telling me I shouldn't try anything and yet you're all over me!"
She smiled a pure and innocent smile. "So you HAVE been taking what the book says into account."
I felt uneasy and didn't want to say anymore but she was right. I couldn't exactly say she was wrong. "I have been, yes."
Then without warning, she licked my cheek. I squealed and jumped out of the chair. I must've seemed like a pre-mature boy of about twelve years of age. I was breathing heavily.
She only stared at me. "You've never had that feeling before, have you?" She asked.
I shook my head. I didn't even know what feeling she was talking about. "I've never had anyone feel me up before either." I managed to say and when it came out I noticed my voice cracked! That had NEVER happened to me before. Then as I tried to sit back down, I missed the armrest and hit the floor.
Was I going crazy? Or was it just because I was around a beautiful feline?
All the while, Katt sat in her seat giggling. She took a paw and pulled me up on the chair. I never noticed just how short I had become. I must've been a foot shorter than when I was a human because I fit in the chair without making Katt have to struggle so much. Then again, it was a mighty big and comfy chair.
"How much romance have you really experienced?" She asked.
I hadn't experienced any. I didn't even know what love was. I felt ashamed. I was 21 and hadn't experienced "The greatest feeling in the world." I thought you grew UP not DOWN? I suddenly felt myself becoming thirteen again. My voice was cracking up; I was growing nervous and clumsy. I suddenly wanted to impress her in everyway. What the hell was wrong with me?
She stood me up and hugged me tight. I didn't know much about anything else, but I knew when someone gave you a hug you were supposed to return the favor. "You're adorable." Katt mused.
I let her go. "No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are. You seem so… innocent." She said.
Innocent? What does she mean by that? It's not like I'm guilty of anything. Except falling for her. There I go again with the cheesy thoughts.
"You've never been touched?" She suddenly asked me. "In an affectionate way I mean." She added in.
I shook my head and before long she embraced me again. She licked my neck and even nibbled a little bit. But I found I wasn't so nervous anymore. I then rubbed my paws up and down her back and closed my eyes. She was warm.
She pushed me away and looked deep into my eyes. "Kiss me." She said.
I was in a state of shock. "Kiss me." She repeated. I moved in closer and she grabbed my paw. She didn't shudder.
I began to suddenly remember a book I'd read before. It was called "Beauty and the Beast." A book about an arrogant prince who was turned into a hideous beast. The only way he could break the spell was to show he could love another. At this point in time I WISHED I was that prince. I'd have been able to break my curse right here and now. Then it hit me… what the REAL curse was. If I do love a vixen in return… it would never be.
Katt didn't seem to be reading my thoughts but we moved closer to each other still. I felt flames burning in my stomach as our lips connected and I suddenly found myself embracing her, holding back no passion. The world was blank I could only think of her… and suddenly I wasn't in the living room of my mansion but rather in a field of flowers, experiencing a dream I had not lived.
When the kiss was broken she sighed heavily. "You…" she wanted to say more but stopped. I had just experienced my first kiss and I loved it to death. I wanted to do it again… and a thousand more times after that.
She was still breathing like nothing else. "How could you not experience such a feeling?"
She ran her paws down my chest. "You've got the looks, and you've got the innocence that screams to furs."
I still didn't think I was cute. But she kept telling me I was. I sighed, "I'm nothing special to anyone."
"Why not?"
"I can't love. I can't embrace the passion I just felt with anyone else."
"You're gorgeous." She told me. "Don't put yourself down. What makes you so hideous?"
Do I dare show her? The scar on my chest? I held my head down. "It isn't what you see that makes me any less attractive. It's what you don't."
She looked me deep in the eyes. "Take off your shirt."
I was shocked. "Why?"
"Mia said you'd have something to show me."
Mia! She was still pestering me. I had already been a fur for a few months now… and I was starting to like it, especially with Katt's frequent visits.
"I can't." I said.
"I won't turn away." She said.
I was still nervous, but then I realized, whom was she going to tell? I grasped at my shirt and slowly slid it off, revealing the scar across my chest. I took a deep breath and realized that I was standing before her, shirtless.
She reached her paw out and touched my scar. "It gives you character." She said and ran her paw down my chest. "How can you say you're not beautiful?"
I didn't hear those last words; I only knew that I was getting an intense feeling inside. This didn't feel much like love anymore. Now I was in lust. She rubbed her paw up and down my chest softly and I realized I wanted to see her without a shirt on. I wanted to see her beautiful body the way she saw mine now. I wanted HER.
She came closer and put her paws around me and began to feel below my waist when I finally realized… this wasn't right. I grabbed her paws and for the first time that night, my voice came out the deepest it had ever been, "I can't do this." I said. "I want to keep what 'innocence' I have left."
She took my paw and kissed it lightly. "I understand." She resounded and kissed me once more. "But I want you to put your paws on me now."
I wasn't sure of what to say anymore. I was in such a state of shock that I didn't realize I put my paw on HER chest and she placed her paw on mine and began to slowly bring our paws to her stomach before she kissed me again. "I won't take that innocence away."
She began towards the doors and turned around. She wanted to say something to me. It was on the tip of her tongue, but she resisted. She walked out into the main hall and I followed after her. "Katt…"
She turned around and put a finger on lips. "Never forget this night." After that she had left.
When Katt finally walked out the door, I realized just what my true "Innocence" was. It wasn't her… it was the curse.
I fell for her right then and there and wondered if we'd ever have a moment like that again.
Was this love?
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A/N: A bittersweet chapter. This is by far the most enticing and passion ridden chapter I've ever written thus far in this fic. Doesn't make me cry the way the first installment did but it certainly brought a tear to my eye. It seems there are things we really don't know about Katt and Shane. There will be more Katt/Shane romance in the next chapter too. Except it won't be the past. Anyway please read and review. This is the first deeply romanced chapter I've written in a while. Tell me if it was good too.