When Pigs Fly… uh, When The Moon Turns Green, Uh…
By: YunCynImaginator
YunCyn: To make up for not updating for so long, we decided to give you double! ^_^
Imaginator: Double whammy!!
YunCyn: So, without any intro, pre-scene conversations, we'll skip straight to the scene, ne?
Muses: 0_o ...
Bunnies: ....
YunCynImaginator: ...WHAT?!
Muses: No... pre-scene.... conversa... *faints in unison*
YunCynImaginator: *sweatdrops*
A/N: ---------- = Where it's supposed to be double spaced. Since FF.Net is being a baka and not showing double spaces, this will have be the replacement. T_T Gomenasai!!
Disclaimer: If Kazuya-sensei sees what we've done to her characters, she'd probably kill us so we ain't sayin' nothin'.
~*~*~*~*~
"You've got to be kidding me."
"You talking to me or your eyes?"
"It CAN'T be happening."
An unintelligible mutter. "It IS happening. It's right in front of your eyes."
"Still, this is…is… impossible."
A new clearly offended voice entered the conversation. "And just WHAT is so impossible about it? It IS possible."
Stare.
The third voice growled. "Well, it's not like she has another head growing out of her neck…"
Another new voice entered, this time not annoyed and more soft spoken. "And she HAS grown into a very lovely young lady… sort of."
The first voice couldn't have been more shocked even if you struck him with three lightning bolts all at once. "Lovely young- LOVELY YOUNG- I can't even string the entire sentence together when referring to her!"
The second voice coughed and muttered rather audibly. "Um…. gotta agree with him on that one."
The third voice grew dangerously low. "WATCH IT."
"Gomen, gomen." Went the second voice hurriedly.
"Still… I never thought I'd live to see THIS happen!"
A new cheerful voice spoke up. "Well, you did say this would happen when pigs flew. And we DID happen to catch an airborne piglet yesterday afternoon…"
"For the three hundredth time, I was being SARCASTIC!!"
The cheerful fifth voice sweat dropped. He had no real reply to that since he was the one who had nursed the curious black piglet back to health. He tried a different approach. "Well, you ALSO said this would happen when the moon turned green and well…"
The soft-spoken voice fourth voice sweat dropped. "So the moon was made out of cheese…?"
"And yesterday seemed to be the expiration date…" replied the fifth voice, also sweat dropping.
"Will you two QUIT IT already!!" snapped the exasperated first voice.
The second voice commented to the third, very irritated voice, "Didn't you say this would also happen when the sky turned purple?"
Third voice groaned as everyone looked above them to see the colour of a morning glory. "Dammit, I was being sarcastic!"
First Voice rolled his eyes. "Pigs flying, moon turning green, sky turning purple… what's next? Hippos dancing bal-"
"DON'T SAY IT!!" cried Second, Third, Fourth and Fifth Voice simultaneously, a second too late.
"let?"
…
Third Voice's head began to throb as the huge mammal in a pink gauzy tutu pirouetted past his back.
"I didn't mean it! I SWEAR! It came out by accident!!" First Voice frantically spluttered in defense. It didn't stop Second Voice from slapping him on the head and naming him "Baka of the Century."
----------
"Ne… Hakkai-san?" went Fourth Voice a.k.a Yaone.
"Hai, Yaone-san?" replied Fifth Voice a.k.a Hakkai.
"Uh… I think they moved an inch."
----------
Hakkai's eyes went wide. And he stared at the two in front of him along with Yaone, First Voice Gojyo, Second Voice Dokugakuji and Third Voice Kougaiji. Somehow he couldn't stop yet another sweat drop sliding down the back of his head. He cleared his throat and proceeded to call out to the two opponents in front of him who was giving each other steely-eyed glares that seemed to be frying the space between them.
"…ano… Sanzo? Goku? Don't you think you better get a move on…?"
----------
"I will when the bakasaru does." Came the Sanzo's curt reply.
Goku smirked. "If I move, you'll take out that shourejyu and shoot me. I'm not as stupid as you think, namaguza bouzu!"
"Korosu."
"After you."
----------
Hakkai looked weakly at Yaone who nodded. She'd give it another try.
----------
"Ano…Lirin-sama…? D, don't you think you should stop them now…?"
"No way! It's too much fun!"
----------
Yaone looked weakly back at Hakkai who sighed. Kougaiji growled.
----------
"BAKA! We don't have TIME for this!!" yelled Kougaiji affectionately to his beloved sister.
"Biida! Who says!"
----------
The grinding of Kougaiji's teeth echoed as Gojyo palmed his forehead. "Bouzu! Saru! This isn't worth it!"
----------
"HEY!" went Lirin in indignation.
"Like HELL it's not!" replied Goku.
----------
"This is RIDICULOUS." Commented Dokugakuji.
----------
"Nandato?" said Sanzo dangerously, but still not wrenching his glare from Goku.
"What is THAT supposed to mean!?" yelled Lirin.
----------
Gojyo contemplated whacking his head against something. Dokugakuji was already doing that with his sword. Kougaiji seemed to be grinding his teeth so much he could spit out enamel. Hakkai and Yaone both sighed.
----------
"Kisama, you stole Lirin away from me!!" cried out Goku.
"Ch'! I never did. She came to me because you were pathetic." Replied Sanzo.
"LIAR! Lirin NEVER did that! She came to ME because of your attitude problems!"
"She loves me. Get over it."
"YOU get over it! She loves me!"
----------
There was no more contemplation needed. Gojyo started whamming his forehead against his shakujou. Kougaiji was now down to the gums. Hakkai and Yaone, paragons of patience and tolerance, groaned.
----------
While Lirin smiled. She, beautiful, elegant, Lirin was the object of a fight between a handsome monk and his equally handsome ward. She was the only one who could tear such a bond between a guardian and his charge. It was HER who had severed the loyalty between both. Oh, she did feel guilty. But she also felt an overwhelming sense of… power. After all, what other woman could say that she had Genjo Sanzo AND Son Goku fighting to have her? Ah, the curse of being so beautiful…
----------
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"
----------
Eight heads shot out of their pillows all at once.
----------
Sanzo was beyond livid. THAT BRAT- I was- THAT BRAT- I ACTUALLY was- THAT BRAT-
Goku was disgusted. THAT GIRL- I was- THAT GIRL- And there was NO FOOD- AND-
Gojyo was repulsed. The BOUZU and the SARU fighting for HER hand-
Hakkai was bewildered. Lirin, Sanzo, Goku and the moon made out of green cheese…?
----------
Kougaiji was furious. MY OWN SISTER and THOSE two-
Dokugakuji was appalled. The MONK and the SARU fighting for-
Yaone was confused. Lirin-sama, Sanzo-sama, Goku-san… and dancing hippos…?
Lirin was aghast. ME and the SARU and the BALDIE-
----------
The mental assessments of eight individuals went as follows:
What kind of SICK DREAM WAS THAT?!
~*~*~*~
And up in Tenkai, while Jiroushin whacked his head against a wall, Kanzeon leaned back in her throne and cackled her butt off.
Dreams were SO much fun to manipulate.
The End.
~*~*~*~*~
Imaginator: Yes, we know. But trust me when I say that this was ALL YunCyn's fault. Completely and totally.
YunCyn: Ahahaha....
Imaginator: LIRIN. And "beautiful" .... No ONE could swallow that one. Honestly....
YunCyn: Oh, COME ON. This is Random Scenes! ANYTHING can happen!
Imaginator: There is only so far that the imagination can stretch, pal. This ain't within our region.
YunCyn: ^^;; I suppose...
Muse #1: I TOLD you this wasn't logical...
Muse #3: Not my fault this time. If it's anyone's fault, it's the rabbit's.
Traitor: ^__^