Chapter 2

I come to, facing the window. The night air calls to me, and the temptation to transform myself is almost unbearable. I must wait, and bide my time. Sirius Black is too clever for them. They won't catch me, and when I escape, it will be forever.

The great hall was warm and welcoming as I hurried to meet my three best friends. Third year at last, and another chance to try out for the quidditch team. I had been practicing all summer, and was determined that the spare chaser position would be mine. I had so many dreams that year – all fresh and new and exciting.

"Sirius!" A chorus of hoots and cheers went up from the third years at the Gryffindor table. James stood and made an exaggerated bow as he ushered me to the place next to him. I felt my heart swell with happiness at the high spirits of my friends.

"And pray tell us mere mortals," Peter began with mock pomposity, "why the train is not good enough for you?" I grinned, and pointed to my brother, looking small and scared at the end of the sorting hat queue.

"My shameful little toad of a brother." I affected a baby voice. " Mummy couldn't bear to send ickle baby Regulus on the train all by his lonesome." I gave my most ravishing grin to Clarity Jakes, who I noticed was staring over from the Ravenclaw table. She rolled her beautiful brown eyes and turned to listen to Andromeda. "So, she decided at the last minute to give us a lift here."

"You came by yourself in first year." James pointed out.

"Hmm, but Mother has known, since I was very small, that I find her appalling." I ruffled James' hair affectionately.

"Hey! I just made that sit the way I wanted it too!" James exclaimed, and set to combing his fingers through it again, seemingly at random.

"On the other hand," I continued to Peter, "Regulus is a nasty little tattle tale with no morals whatsoever. They adore each other." Peter and James laughed obligingly. "Where's Remus?" I cast about the hall, but couldn't see him anywhere.

"Gosh, Sirius, you go away for a few months, you forget everything!" Peter leant across the table just as Dumbledore got up to speak. "Its that time of the month!" He hissed, just loud enough for snotty Lily Evans to turn around and give him a look. James sniggered.

"Oh, Peter. You crack me up!" James shot Peter a warning look. Lily turned back to listen to Dumbledore. Peter, James and I all knew that if anyone else found out about Remus' condition… It was too horrible to contemplate. No one would speak to him again, for fear of getting infected. People were so prejudiced in those days. But then again, not that much has changed.

Dumbledore seemed to be in an effusive mood that night, and things went on longer than usual. The sorting ceremony was uneventful; it was no great surprise that Regulus and Narcissa were put in Slytherin, along with Barty Crouch's firstborn. We didn't get anyone I knew, and only a redhead called Celia Macdonald, who turned puce enough for me to wonder if she was under a hex, caught my attention. I was starving by the time the food appeared, and we all tore in.

I don't remember ever having been so happy as I was then, surrounded by good friends and good cheer.

The warmth in my belly fades, as a door scrapes open farther down the corridor, and suddenly I can see my breath clouding the air in front of me. My eyes flicker shut, as I wait to see what torment they will drag out of me tonight.

The sky was overcast, with the taste of autumn in the air, as I strutted around the back of the school for a sly smoke. As I ducked into a particularly thick mulberry bush, I was startled by the sound of a cough ahead of me. I stopped short, but could only make out a hunched shape in the shadows ahead of me.

"Is that all I get, then?" The shape stood up, and became Remus, smiling at me. "Just a stare after three months' separation?" I went forward willingly into his proffered hug, and was surprised by the force with which he held me.

"Remus. I've missed you so much!" I pulled away from him; my eyes fully adjusted to the shadows, and saw that he looked even more tired than usual.

"Have you, Sirius? I wonder…" Remus sat heavily, and I sprawled next to him, pulling out my pack of cigarettes and offering him one. "I wish you wouldn't do that." He looked at me resignedly and sighed.

"It's all part of my debonair charm!' I waggled my eyebrows at him suggestively. "Besides, birds love it!"

"Do they? I wouldn't know." He turned away from me, with a bitter little twist of his mouth, and sighed again.

"Come on mate," I popped my smoke between my teeth and put my arms around his shoulders, "its not the end of the world, being a you-know-what." He stiffened. "You'll find a chick that likes you no matter what. And I'll help you."

"I'm not so sure I want that, Sirius." He muttered as I rubbed his shoulders comfortingly. "See, I realised something this summer, when I was away from you." He turned to look at me, and watched as I flicked the rest of my cigarette away.

"What's that mate? Nothing's so bad you can't tell me!" Without warning his arm snaked around my neck and his mouth was on mine. It was horrifying, mortifying, although the kiss itself was not as bad as I would have expected. I wish I could go back and have the time over again, handle it differently. It hurts so much to remember the pain in his eyes as I started backwards, almost falling in my haste to get up.

"Remus, mate, look! I'm not that way inclined, mate, but it's fine that you are. I mean…" I backed out of the bush, trying not to look as if I was running away. Which was exactly what I was doing. "It's fine, really. I won't tell anyone. And we'll just pretend this never happened, okay."

I spun around to find Lucius Malfoy looking down his long nose at me, the 'Prefect' badge gleaming proudly on the lapel of his blazer.

"What's this, Black. A tryst in the bushes?" He smiled and leant to one side slightly, whilst still holding my gaze. "Lupin. Please come out of there immediately." Malfoy flicked back the edge of my robes to reveal the packet of cigarettes in my top pocket. He plucked them out between index and forefinger, and waved them in front of Remus and me. "Smoking, boys. Tut tut." Still he smiled at us, that half-uptwist of his lips more and more maddening with each passing second. "I would have thought that you would know better, Black."

"Lupin wasn't smoking, Malfoy. Just me." I did my best not to snarl at him.

"Oh." The lightest of breaths before he continued, "Then what, pray, was Mr Lupin doing in the bushes, Black? I would love to know." I stayed silent, clenching the fabric of my robes into my fists. I felt, rather than saw, Remus drop his head in shame beside me. Malfoy continued to stare at me, waiting for an answer. Eventually he sighed. "Well, I won't say that I'm not disappointed in you boys. But, as you are a friend of the family, Black, I think we can work this out between us, don't you?"

"What do you want, Malfoy?" I gritted my teeth, knowing that whatever he had in mind, it would not be pleasant.

"It seems that now I am a prefect, I'm in the position of needing a drudge. Or two. So lucky you, the two of you get the first chance to come and look after me!" Malfoy stroked one finger down the edge of my robes possessively.

"But you're only allowed drudges from your own house!" I stared at him in shock. The thought of having to wait on him hand and foot, make food for him and tidy his study appalled me.

"I think that, under the circumstances, it might be wise for you to keep quiet, Black!" A flash of annoyance lit up his eyes as he snatched his hand away from me. "Lupin!' He called over his shoulder as he walked away. "Be at my study at eight! And bring a new quill, if you possess such a thing."

"Oh Lord, what have we got ourselves in for?" I hissed to Remus, only to find that he was walking away in the opposite direction as quickly as he could, his shoulders hunched as if against the cold.