Chapter Eighteen A Mother's Worst Nightmare

Rae had washed up the coffee cups after Ron and Steve left and then, her mind still full of the details of the day, she sat down on the sofa in the breakfast room with the profile notes and the pages she had written on Elizabeth Masters. Even when her life was rolling along at half speed it was complicated and full of problems, and now she had so much information that needed to be processed, typed up, noted down, whatever, that she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep until she at least got it straight in her brain.

Rae let her thoughts wander for a moment to a subject constantly on her mind; she missed Jesse all the time, but now, right now, she knew that if he had been here he would have been full of both cases, wanting to know about them, help out, tell her what he thought, or the old Jesse would. The new one, well she wasn't so sure.

With a deep sigh she got to her feet and moved across to the fireplace. On the mantle above it was a photo of Jesse, and she picked it up and looked at it. The smiling face and twinkling blue eyes that looked back at her made her catch her breath and the pain in her heart hurt her even more. Blinded by the tears that she had managed to keep at bay since her husband had driven away on the Saturday evening, she stumbled back to the sofa and collapsed onto it; sobbing loudly and taking in deep gulps of air as she let the pain and anguish of her loneliness overwhelm her.

Rae wasn't sure how long she had been crying before she heard a small tremulous voice, and felt a soft hand on her own. "Mommy, don't cwy, pease." Eliana's voice was full of tears, and Rae turned towards her daughter.

"Oh, Baby … I'm so sorry … It's all right … Mummy's just a little sad." Rae sat up and brushed at her little girl's tears then she scooped her up and held her close. "Shhh, it's ok, baby, hush." Rae rocked back and forth, the feeling of the soft pudgy arms as they wrapped themselves around her neck warming her through. "Come on, let's both go up to bed, huh? I can look at all this tomorrow." Rae carefully stood up, keeping Eliana close against her, and they left the room together. One handed she set the alarm and then climbed the stairs, by the time they were at the top the little girl was asleep in her mother's arms and Rae laid her back into her own small bed and kissed her gently on the forehead. Eliana stirred slightly, but didn't open her eyes, and relieved Rae moved over to the crib on the other side of the room. Anneya still looked a bit flushed, and had kicked all her covers off. Rae slid her hand through one of the bars and placed the back of it on her youngest child's forehead. She didn't think that Anneya was any warmer than she had been at bedtime, but she left the covers where they were, knowing that if the little girl became chilled she would either pull them up herself, or call out for someone to do it for her.

The sheets on Rae's bed were cold and creased, she needed to change them, but she didn't have the time to even tidy the covers when she woke in the mornings. Although she hated to admit it, Rae had a feeling that she may have to get herself a cleaner, or even a housekeeper, but she wasn't in the right frame of mind to begin thinking about that right now. Rae stripped off her clothes, pulled on a t-shirt that Jesse had left behind and climbed into bed. She closed her eyes, and let her mind run back to the scene behind Neil Crosier's house when she had seen the glint of metal, pulled at the burning wreckage of the garage and found her husband, only just alive, beneath it all. He had known she would find him, had told her so, but now he couldn't bear to be with her, not even in the same house, and she didn't have a clue as to why. Gradually her thoughts began to run into each other and, as the clock beside her clicked onto eleven o'clock, she let the day go and fell asleep.

Rae worked at home for the Tuesday and the Wednesday, not wanting to leave her youngest daughter with Sally when she was under the weather and feeling weepy. She had been to see Alex first thing on the Tuesday and he had diagnosed a cold and recommended a few days at home with plenty of fluids and some infant Tylenol to keep any fever at bay. Eliana had been bouncy and cheerful though, and so each day Rae had taken her to pre-school waving her off at the door so that she didn't take any more germs than necessary in with her.

Steve had come to see Rae just after ten on the Tuesday morning, which was an hour before they were both due to start work, and they had sat and discussed the new developments in the Masters case, and how to deal with them.

"You know, there's no reason to think that he is the father." Steve had taken a mouthful of hot coffee as he finished speaking, and then he looked back across at his partner.

"No, I know that, but there is no reason to think he isn't either. I guess Elizabeth could have had an affair before they left London, but he didn't say anything about it to me, and I got the feeling that he told me everything, or everything that he could." Rae remembered the day very clearly when John Masters had finally admitted that Elizabeth was his wife, not his sister, and how their life together had crumbled upon the death of their two young children. She was sure that if there had been a third party involved he would have mentioned it and she was absolutely certain that if he had known about another child she would know too. "And she was, according to the nosey neighbour, alone until the Chief came back into her life."

"So, what do we do about it? I can get an education record, social security number, that sort of thing, we can find this guy, but what if he has no idea that he is adopted?"

"I don't buy that. I think Elizabeth knew not only who he was but where he was, she left him $100,000.00 in the will we just found, which is a lot of money to have sitting in a bank vault because no one knows where to send it." Rae felt the despondency which had been her constant companion overnight leave her as she and her partner got down to business.

"So why wasn't there a name and address for him in with all her private papers then?" Steve had leafed through the paperwork on the table in Rae's breakfast room until he found the current will. "There is nothing here to show that she knew anything about him other than she called him John Masters Junior."

"And that is the final evidence, as far as I'm concerned to prove he was the Chief's son." Rae flicked through the notes she had made until she found what she wanted. "There's a safety deposit box at the National Provident branch in Bel Air, I'm betting that all the information we need is there."

"So why didn't you tell me that right away? We need to move on this, I want it out of the way." Steve's voice showed the frustration he felt.

"Steve, I'm sorry, I have so much in my mind right now, that I forgot all about it until you said no name and address."

Anneya had begun to cry then, and Rae had left the room, hoping to get to her before the cries became too insistent to stop, but she hadn't done so, and the rest of their discussion had been done with the little girl clinging to her mommy, and occasionally rubbing her fist against her ear. Rae had known it would take a while to calm her daughter down and so Steve had gone to find himself a friendly judge and the quickest route to Bel Air.

Now it was Thursday, and Rae had had no choice but leave her daughter with Sally so that she could attend morning roll call and then she and Steve had an appointment with the Chief of Police that she would much prefer to miss.

Steve preceded her into the room, which was already filled with the patrol officers who would soon be taking to their cars and bikes to protect the people of Los Angeles, or those in their little part of it.

The roll call had been underway for a while, and Rae and Steve were the last two officers to give out information. They had managed, so far, to keep the murder of Elizabeth Masters to themselves, but after their discussion with Ron they were going far more public with the red rose killings than they had until now.

"Good morning ladies and gentlemen," Steve stepped up to the small podium and placed his folder down on it. Rae put a map up on the board behind him which they had marked out with all the relevant information. "Our killer struck again late Saturday night, early Sunday morning and, as you know, it was his third strike, so we have a serial killer on our hands." Steve paused for a moment; no one liked serial killers, and the difference between having two victims and three was huge, not only in the amount of work it created, but psychologically. Everyone would want to get this guy, and until they did the atmosphere would be grim. "There will be increased publicity on this case, newspaper articles, press conferences, so expect to be approached by members of the public, and if you are it is imperative that you get across to them that we're closing in on our killer, and have every confidence that we will catch him." Steve turned to Rae as he finished speaking, indicating that she could take over if she wished.

"There'll be details of a profile that we have made up with the help of the FBI on the computer, and notice boards in all squad rooms. You need to be aware that this guy may well make contact with you himself. He will need to know, desperately, what we have on him, and just how close we are. So, anyone who fits the general description that was gained from the video film from the drug store after the second killing, who asks about this case, we need to hear about it as soon as it happens. This guy, Dominic, is dangerous, and his last kill didn't go according to plan; that worries me, I mean really worries me, we need to be on our guard, and if any of you see anything, however small, that rings alarm bells, well you know what to do… Yes?"

A young policewoman sitting in the front row put her hand up. She was tall, slim and blonde, just the sort of woman that Dominic would like, if his MO and signature were to be believed, and Rae did believe them, implicitly. "When you say it didn't go according to plan what do you mean?"

"If you look at the available paperwork on this, the first two cases were very similar, but the third young woman had blunt force trauma injuries as well as stab wounds. We have no evidence of that apart from this last time. Also, it appears that the killer went back to her place, and we know he definitely didn't do that before either."

"Ok, thanks." The officer smiled and Rae smiled back, she couldn't help but look at every young blonde woman she saw and wonder whether they would be the next victim. Another cop put his hand up and Rae nodded at him.

"When you say that you're worried about the fact that he changed his MO, do you mean that you think he'll change it every time and we won't know it's still him or something else?"

"No, I don't think he'll change it completely, it shows he can alter things on the spur of the moment and still kill, which means that he is organised and in charge of the situation. However, I think that he wants to have the same, or a very similar routine each time, and the deviations this time may mean that he kills again really soon."

"And how do you know that he was at the victim's apartment?" Another voice rang out and Rae was heartened by the interest they were taking.

"She had a cat, well, a kitten really, not very old, and it had been slaughtered. Also, and I guess this is just instinct, but there is something about the apartment that is wrong, it's too tidy, like a holiday let. I think he did that, but I have no proof." Rae waited, but this time the room remained quiet until Steve began to speak again.

"We're going back to the nightclub tonight that we believe the first victim was picked up from on a Thursday evening two weeks ago. It might lead to nothing, but it might give us more to go on, right now anything that anyone has on the guys they see on their beat, anyone who they know to be acting out of character, well, if we're honest, unless he makes a mistake, personal knowledge could be the only way we are going to get him."

Steve and Rae answered some general questions from a few patrol officers and pointed out the murder sites on the map before returning to their own desks to pick up the information that they had to give to Chief Masters. They discussed the best way to handle the sensitive meeting and then Rae made her way, alone, to see her boss, knowing that Steve would follow ten minutes later.

"Good morning, Detective Yeager, how are you today?" Chief Masters stood as his officer entered the room and smiled one of his rare smiles.

"I'm good, thank you, Sir, and you?"

"I'm fine, Rae, and I appreciate you taking the time to see me, although you do appear to be missing someone." The Chief sat back down as soon as Rae had made herself comfortable in the indicated chair.

"Lieutenant Sloan will be along shortly, Sir, but we have personal information, and we both felt that you may be a little more at ease talking with just me."

"I see," the room seemed to take on a distinctly chilly air, "you had better carry on then, Detective." And Rae didn't miss the way her boss had returned to using her rank.

"Sir, when you and your wife separated in 1967 she was pregnant." Rae knew that the man in front of her wouldn't appreciate her prevaricating, and she was relieved to get the information out into the open.

"And you obviously have concrete evidence of this?"

"Yes, Sir, I have the original birth certificate, along with letters written through the years showing that your wife, although not involved in the upbringing of your son, either financially or personally, never forgot about him." The information from the bank deposit box had proved interesting but hadn't helped them solve the case.

"Detective I would appreciate it if you could leave me all you have discovered and I will request your return in thirty minutes." It was apparent to Rae that although the words were politely spoken they were in fact an order.

"Very good, Sir." Rae left the room and almost collided with Steve in the secretary's office in the process. "Half an hour, then we come back."

"Coffee and a Danish?"

"Sounds good to me." Rae smiled, she needed the friendly banter, the relaxed way in which she and Steve could act together, right now she needed it more than ever.

The address for John Masters Junior was in Santa Barbara, about ten minutes from where Elizabeth Masters had lived. Knowing that it was a four hour round trip Steve put a call through to the local police department while they ate their mid morning snack and asked them to run surveillance and send back any relevant information before they made the journey out to see him.

It appeared that John Masters Junior had a few traffic violations outstanding, and so, understanding that he could be considered a prime suspect in the murder of his birth mother, it was decided that contact would be made that way.

The rest of the day had been spent speaking with friends of Nadine Browton on the telephone, before finally, a little after two in the afternoon, returning to see the Chief to continue the discussion Rae had begun earlier in the day.

The Chief had been reluctant to speak with Steve, and although he understood, he still felt more than a little annoyed that he had been summarily dismissed almost before he had sat down.

"Lieutenant, I would be grateful if you could find me the up to date information on the killings you have called the Red Rose murders, it is a very disturbing case and I would like to update myself."

"Yes, Sir. Would you like me to bring them back to you right away, or wait until Detective Yeager returns to the squad room?"

"Yes, yes, that would be preferable; I will read them through later in the day."

Rae had watched the retreating form of her partner and she could tell from his body language that he was not happy. However, she wasn't happy either, and wished that he had been able to stay.

"Detective, I appreciate your leaving me alone this morning, and I have to apologise for the delay. I have read through all the information, as well as making certain enquiries myself. It would appear that for the past thirty-three years I have had a child I knew nothing about. I also know that you will consider him to be the main suspect in the murder of my wife, so it would also appear that I will have little or no chance to become acquainted with him."

Rae felt a deep compassion for the man sitting across the desk from her. She had been blessed with two families, five children, all of whom she loved dearly. The memory of Eliana's abduction was one she couldn't visit, and the prospect of losing any of them again, even for a moment was unthinkable, to face the prospect of losing all of them, unimaginable.

"We've been onto the Santa Barbara Police Department and they're going to make enquiries and speak with your son. Sir, at this time we have no reason to believe that he killed your wife." Rae tried a smile but she could tell that although appreciative her boss was not convinced.

"Statistically he is the most likely suspect, and I will have to come to terms with that at the same time as I try to accept that he exists at all… I have been thinking back, back to when we were getting ready to leave London. We knew that once we arrived here we would go our separate ways and, well, we spent one last night together as man and wife before flying to Los Angeles. I don't think I had given it any further consideration since then, and certainly not in the way that it warranted … Why didn't she tell me?"

Rae didn't have an answer to that, although she appreciated his frankness. She had wondered about it, tried to put herself in the same position as Elizabeth Masters, and she knew that if she found herself pregnant even now, when she was so unsure of Jesse and his responses to her, she would have to tell him as soon as she knew herself.

"Detective, I know that you have an assignment tonight, so I will dismiss you now. Please be assured that I too will be in contact with the SBPD to find out all the relevant information."

"With all due respect, Sir, I would rather that you didn't do that." Rae looked directly into the face of her superior officer as she spoke.

"I beg your pardon, are you implying that I may have something to do with this case, Detective?"

"No, Sir … we verified your alibi when we found out who the victim was," Rae knew that her boss would know they would have to do that, but it was still quite an admission for her to make, "if you weren't in the position you are, you wouldn't be able to check on our progress. Sir, we have worked with you before, you know you can trust us to bring everything necessary to your attention at the earliest possible opportunity. But we should be the ones doing the digging, not you."

"Detective Yeager, I have the highest regard for you and Lieutenant Sloan, but you are overstepping your bounds here."

"No, Sir, I'm sorry, but I'm not, and if you try, however difficult it may be, to look at this rationally, you will realise that you need to step back and let Steve and me do our jobs."

"Detective …" The Chief's tone got even sterner, but Rae stood her ground.

"Sir, if your son did indeed murder his mother then you need to keep well away from him and any information pertaining to him. If he didn't, you will have plenty of time to get to know him when we have cleared his name, but not before."

The Chief of Police lowered his eyes, and Rae felt her heart begin to beat again. "Detective, I apologise, I was out of order, but I will give you a week, after that expect me to be breathing heavily down your neck, is that understood?"

"Yes, Sir, definitely."

"Good, you are dismissed."

Rae beat a hasty exit back to the safety of her desk, and suggested to Steve that he get a patrolman to take the red rose information up to their boss.

. . . . . . . . . .

Jesse had been unable to unburden himself with Mark although over the course of the week both of them had tried numerous times to get a conversation started. The news about Nadine had shocked Jesse, and he could feel his fear and anxiety rising each time he thought about the personable young woman who had helped so well in his restaurant.

After Mark told him what had happened Jesse had retreated to the beach, needing to try to put his thoughts in some kind of order. He had been there for an indeterminate amount of time when he had been aware of someone standing just behind him and he had turned to find Steve smiling down at him.

"Hey, Jess, I didn't want to disturb you, but I need to ask you some questions." Steve had indicated the sand with his hand and Jesse had nodded agreement to his friend sitting down.

"What about?" He had felt his heart beat a little faster, but the fear he had felt when thinking about his best friend didn't seem to be present.

"You know about Nadine, right?"

"Yeah, your dad told me. What happened, Steve, do you have any idea who killed her?" Jesse clenched his fists around handfuls of sand, sometimes he wished he wasn't so close to all the violent things that happened in LA.

"In a way. We have a serial killer, he leaves red roses under the hand of his victims, at least he has the last two. He stabs them to death, Jesse, he is a very dangerous man, and he targets young blonde women, I'm sorry."

"Me too." Jesse paused, he needed to speak first, before Steve started giving him information about the case. "Steve, I know we need to talk about that some more but can I say something?"

Steve, Jesse could see, was a little unsure about what was coming, and so, taking all his courage literally between both hands, he reached out and touched him.

"Jess?"

"Steve, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being a jerk, for … for almost killing you, for everything. I don't know what else to say. I don't even know if tomorrow I'll be able to talk to you at all, I'm sorry."

"Jesse, don't, you have no need to apologise to me, I know you're suffering right now, I wish I could help, you were scared, your aim was lousy and it's ok."

Jesse smiled, the friendship between them was so strong that he had known, almost certainly, that it would survive what had happened, but to hear it filled his heart with such a glad feeling that his whole being seemed to blossom.

They had talked for a long time, Jesse still hadn't been able to bring himself to let Steve into his problems, but apart from that it had been almost like old times.

Jesse knew that his condition had improved, at little at least, but he also knew that unless he could open up to Lauren, let her discover what it was that was driving him on a course that was shutting out his family, he wouldn't get any better than he was now. He hadn't spoken with his wife or seen his children since the day he had told Rae he wanted a divorce, but today they were coming over to see him, to stay the night because Rae and Steve were working late, going to a club where the first of the victims of the killer who had taken Nadine's life had spent her last evening hoping to find clues or witnesses to help them on their way.

He had been for a walk to the gas station across the street when he got home from work and bought some crayons and paper so that the girls had things to do. Mark had plenty of children's stuff that he used when CJ and Dion came over and Jesse knew that they wouldn't get bored. He would spend the evening with them and then drop Eliana at pre-school in the morning and Anneya at Sally's. Rae had told him that she was under the weather with a cold, but he was a doctor so he knew she wasn't worried about their daughter being poorly while she was away from her mom.

The bell rang as he contemplated how the evening would go and he moved out into the hallway and saw two beautiful faces shining at him through the glass of the door.

"Daddy, Daddy!" Eliana was almost beside herself, she waved a picture in her hand back and forwards as she called out, and suddenly the door was open and she was in his arms.

"Oh, Sweetie, hi, how are you?" Jesse felt his throat constrict as he held her, felt the love inside of him well up and almost overwhelm him and he closed his eyes for a moment as he gathered himself together.

"Aii, Dada, aii." The second little voice was there too, and he felt the softness of Anneya's skin against his hand as he stroked her cheek and then hugged her too.

"Mommy, Mommy, it's your turn, Daddy kiss you now." Eliana was tugging at her mom's sleeve, and Rae, who had stayed just outside the door, felt herself being pulled inside.

"Honey, Mummy has to go, I'll talk to Daddy again, ok?" Rae would have loved a hug and a kiss, or either of them would have been nice, but she had seen the panic flare as her daughter spoke, and she knew that she wouldn't be lucky, not this time.

"Jess, Anneya has medication in the bag, they haven't had any tea, but I gave them a quick sandwich before I left Oak Place. Honey, I really have to go, I'll call the hospital in the morning, see how much fun you had."

"Sure, bye, Rae." Jesse dismissed her without looking in her direction once. He had his daughters with him and felt totally at peace, but if he saw her, knew that she was in the house with him then that would be destroyed, and he couldn't allow that to happen.

. . . . . . . . . .

The nightclub was loud, busy and made Rae and Steve feel old. They hadn't tried to look young and trendy, and agreed that it was just as well. Steve had a dark silver grey suit on, with a lighter grey shirt and black tie, while Rae was wearing a short black dress with no sleeves and a square neckline. They stood together at the bar and tried not to look like cops.

One query had already been answered, on the back of Rae and Steve's left hands' were red stamps in the shape of a rose. Jenna had been the only victim without a flower, but now Rae knew that part of the MO had been picked up by what had happened first time around.

He saw them as they came in through the door, and he smiled to himself. They thought they were so clever, leaving it a little while before coming to the club, hoping to find out information that might lead to his capture, well there was no chance of that. In fact, he might even ask her to dance, that could be interesting, and he knew she wouldn't recognise him, wouldn't know that she was in the arms of a notorious killer, not until it was too late.

She wasn't his type, but it would be fun, fun to touch her, hold her, take her picture, he might even send it to her, yes, he would send it to her or him, that would be even better. It was all that Dominic could do to stop himself from laughing out loud, and then, the decision made, he stood up, ran his fingers through his, for tonight at least, short black hair and made his way towards the bar.

. . . . . . . . . .

"Daddy, Miss Amy says germs are on apps if you don't wass them."

Jesse had to admit to being a little bit fed up with Miss Amy; so far she had been responsible for him taking their shoes off and leaving them by the door. For washing the table down before putting the mats out for dinner, he'd had to make a second set of sandwiches because crusts were good for your teeth, and now an apple which he had washed only about an hour before when he put it on the dish needed to be done again.

"I will go run it under the faucet then, can you keep an eye on Anneya for a minute?"

"Ess, Daddy." Eliana smiled and moved a little closer to her sister. She sat and watched as the little girl drew a large continuous circle with a red crayon and then when it was certain that Anneya was finished Eliana picked up the piece of paper and began to talk.

"This a vewy nice one, I fink I put it ton the wall. Well done." Eliana then beamed at her sister and Jesse, watching from the kitchen, had to turn away for a minute and compose himself.

. . . . . . . . . .

Rae had just finished her mineral water when she felt herself being nudged from behind and turned to find a slim, good looking, dark haired man looking apologetic next to her.

"I am so sorry, did I hurt you?"

"No, not at all, don't worry about it." Rae smiled to show that she wasn't bothered by what had happened.

"I know this sounds real corny, but I come in here a lot, and I don't think I've seen you here before." Daniel flashed a smile in the cop's direction and noticed that her male companion had backed off a little bit.

"No, I don't, is it a good place? It sure seems popular." Rae looked around, and could see that what she said was true, there were a lot of people in the place now, and she imagined that it would have been as busy the night Jenna came.

"Yeah, it is. I come mostly Friday or Thursday nights, and it's always busy. But I can normally get a table and people watch."

"I like to do that too. Curiosity, I know what it did to the cat, but I just love to watch how people behave, not just in a place like this, but anywhere." Rae wondered whether she had gone too far; she didn't want to scare this guy off, but maybe she could get some information without sounding too much like a cop.

"You know there are some wonderful sights out on the floor, could I interest you in a brief visit?"

"Are you asking me to dance? I don't even know your name."

"I am." He flashed a dazzling smile, "Nic, my name is Nic, and yours?"

"Rae, and yes, I'd love to dance." Rae glanced back at her partner as she followed the young man towards the middle of the club and saw that he was talking with one of the barmen. Smiling, she decided that while she was here she may as well enjoy herself. Nick seemed ok and one dance certainly couldn't hurt.

. . . . . . . . . .

Friday morning dawned clear and bright if a little cold. It was due to warm up as the day progressed but as three very nervous people waited for their breakfast to be served the chill of the air seemed to seep through to their hearts and settle there.

Michael had returned to the Sloan household the evening before, and the crates from the attic in Texas were due to arrive that evening and be placed into semi permanent storage while Jo decided what to do with them all. The boxes which had been locked away in the far end of the attic were now in one of the unused rooms in the roof of her house and once the day was over Jo knew that she would be able to concentrate on what had been locked away for so long.

The caseworker for Daniel had been changed after the debacle while Jo was being held by Don Werner and was now a young woman called Marjory Deco who they all found very personable and extremely knowledgeable.

Although Steve, Jo and Daniel knew that the court case was just a formality they had to present their case to the judge and that was a scary thought. Steve went to court regularly, but not to the family court, and so he knew that he would not have dealt with the officials he would meet today before.

By ten o'clock though the waiting was over, and nervous or not the three of them sat with Mark, Michael, Amanda, Jesse, Alex and Shannon in the public seats behind them. Judge Ameco was in her early sixties and although her face was set almost as rigidly as her hair her eyes twinkled and she somehow seemed human.

There had been no objections to the adoption from social services, and as all parental rights had already been removed the formalities were almost over when Judge Ameco looked at Daniel and finally smiled. "Young man, you have the right to speak, do you wish to say anything?"

"Yes, please, Ma'am, Your Honour." Daniel knew that he would be able to state his case, and even though he had been confident of the outcome he had still come prepared. Carefully taking a piece of paper, that neither his mom nor dad had seen before, out of his pocket he began to speak.

"When I was fourteen years old I robbed a grocery store. It's not something I'm proud of, and I have never done anything like it ever again, but I was on a fast track to trouble, and probably jail. Now though I'm getting good grades in school, I've been recommended for a class trip in the spring because I work hard and … and I would like to be a doctor." Daniel watched his grandfather turn to Jesse as the two men smiled at him and saw the look of delight on Alex's face. "None of that would have happened if it hadn't been for three people; my friend Alex and my new mom and dad. Alex came and saw me in juvie, even though he was in the store when I robbed it, even though my cousin attacked his girlfriend, even though he didn't have to and then he asked Steve and Jo to foster me."

Daniel stopped talking for a moment and looked at the three people he had mentioned by name. "Once that happened and I got a real family I had others who were looking out for me, my Grandpa Mark, my mom's butler, Michael, Dad's best friend, Jesse. Ma'am, I've had my life turned around for me, I want everyone to know how grateful I am, and that I will never ever be able to express fully what they've done for me, but I love them all, but better than that, I know they love me." Daniel wasn't sure what else to say and so, a little embarrassed, he sat down and carefully and meticulously folded up his piece of paper, again and again and again.

. . . . . . . . . .

The papers, which had been in the safety deposit box at National Provident in Bel Air, were once again on the desk in front of her, and Rae was silently reading through the letters Elizabeth Kagan-Masters had written and kept hidden, some of them for thirty-three years, for about the third time when the phone rang and her hand reached out instinctively to answer it. "Detective Yeager… Hi, Sally, what's wrong?" She didn't know why but Rae was convinced that the call wasn't social. "Oh bless, I'll come get her … and I'll take Eliana too, it's not a problem … yeah, about an hour I would guess … thank you, Sally, bye."

As Steve wasn't working at all that day Rae made her way towards Captain Newman's door and knocked quietly. "Yes, Detective, what can I do for you?"

"Sir, I'm sorry to bother you but my child carer just called, my youngest daughter is being sick over and over, I need to go get her and take her home."

"I see, I guess that means that you won't be in tomorrow, either?" The look on the Captain's face was one of concern and Rae was relieved that he wasn't angry with her.

"Probably not, but I'll take home the copies of the letters, and everything else we have on the Masters case, that way I can go over it all tomorrow. Anneya is bound to sleep for some of the time, and I can work then. She's had a cold all week, so I'm sure it's just something to do with that."

Newman nodded and Rae left his office, collected up her things, put them in a folder, grabbed her jacket and purse and, with a wave of her hand, hurried out to collect her children.

Rae had called Alex from her car and as he had been on his way back to work from the courthouse he had said he would come to the house and check Anneya over. He prescribed antibiotics for an ear infection, which, he said, he would have sent over later in the day. He had kissed the little girl gently on the forehead and suggested to Rae that she keep her in her room with her at night, and dose her up with infant Tylenol and plenty of fluids.

Anneya had slept on and off all afternoon and Rae had read through over half her paperwork and made copious notes. By seven in the evening Eliana was in bed and by ten Rae was ready to go too. She made her daughter comfortable beside her in the double bed and for a while she just watched her as she thought sadly about all that Jesse was missing.

The Saturday had dawned with the promise of a fine sunny day and Rae had been surprised to find that both she and Anneya had slept quite well together. Rae tried to rid herself of the black cloud which seemed to follow her about constantly as she tried to organise children, laundry, grocery shopping as well as listening intently for the phone, hoping that Jesse would call.

Breakfast had been a difficult affair, Eliana was full of chat about nothing in particular, and Anneya, even with a full night's sleep had been fractious and tearful. Rae gave her the medicine Alex had sent over and settled her in the playroom with a few favourite toys and a cartoon channel on the TV. At a little after ten in the morning, when her arms were full of clean but wet clothes Rae heard a sound which made her drop everything and rush into the hallway.

The sound had been a succession of bumps, which were followed by a second of deadly silence and then the sound of a child crying uncontrollably.

The child was Eliana, but she wasn't hurt in any way, she was however, scared and shocked. It was Anneya who was hurt, but worryingly she made no sound at all. There was blood underneath her head where she had landed, and halfway up the staircase was a large rag doll which she had presumably dropped as she fell down at least ten stairs.

For a moment Rae was totally stunned, she stood and looked at the scene before her, but then she shook herself and moved to the phone, picking up the receiver and pressing the buttons for 911 in almost a single action.

"I … I need an ambulance … Oak Place, North Crescent Drive, Beverly Hills … my little girl, she's fallen down the stairs. No … no I didn't, no … she's not … yes, I know how to do that … thank you … No, I need to be with her, I have to go." Rae put the phone down, the operator had wanted her to stay on the line, but if she did that she couldn't be with Anneya or Eliana, and they both needed her.

"Momma, hug Neya, Neya hurt." Eliana moved towards her sister, galvanised by her mother's words on the phone.

"No, Honey, we have to leave her, we mustn't touch." Rae took Eliana in her arms and then together they crouched down by the side of the small, unconscious child and, after Rae felt for and found a faint pulse, they waited together for the paramedics.

The next few hours raced by at a crawl for Rae, she knew that she kept up with everything that was going on, but she couldn't have dealt with anything other than one thing at a time.

Rae had suddenly realised, as she sat comforting one child and speaking softly to the other, that her cell phone was in her pocket and she had called through to make sure that Alex was on duty. She had also tried Jesse without success.

Alex, who had been at home, told Rae that he would meet her at Community General, and then he rushed upstairs, told Mark and the two of them had raced to the hospital together. The ambulance arrived at the same time as they did, and Rae, almost dragging Eliana by the hand, had run alongside the gurney as it was taken into the ER. Mark took one look at the elder child and put a call through to Steve and Jo who instantly agreed to come and get Eliana and take her home with them. He desperately wanted to be with his Goddaughter, but he knew that Alex would give her the finest care, and so, gently taking Rae's hand from her daughter's, he directed her into the trauma suite with Anneya and then made a dime appear from Eliana's ear.

Rae looked at her little girl, who looked even smaller than usual on the adult sized bed. X-rays had been taken to make sure that there was no spinal injury, and Rae was relieved to see that the neck support and backboard had been removed. She could see one nurse taking Anneya's temperature while another was dealing with her pulse and breathing. "The patient has an elevated temperature, Doctor."

There was an oxygen clip on her finger and Rae could see the figures as they flashed up on the screen above her daughter's head.

"She has been suffering with an ear infection, and is on medication." Alex didn't turn away from the light box where he was looking at a picture of the skull. With a deep sigh he finally moved towards the gurney and bent over his patient. "Anneya, Honey, can you hear me? Sweetie it's Uncle Alex, come on, look at me, Anneya, ANNEYA!" Alex took her hand and pinched the fingertip, but apart from a slight movement of the hand his little patient lay totally unresponsive.

"Ok, given her recent history, I'm happy with her temperature; I want a CAT scan STAT, get on to PICU and tell them that they have a patient coming up with severe head trauma. Rae, do you know what happened?"

"What … sorry?" Rae had been watching the face of her youngest child; she seemed so at peace that she was even more worried than she had been.

"What happened to her?" Alex moved across, instantly concerned about his friend.

"She fell down the stairs, Alex, onto the tiles at the bottom … there was blood on the floor … I didn't see it … she was alone." Rae looked up, the guilt which had been under the surface since the accident rushing up to try to overwhelm her.

"And she didn't regain consciousness at all while you waited for the ambulance?"

"No, there was nothing, she didn't move, or make any sound." Rae's eyes filled with tears, and for a moment she looked away. One of the nurses, receiving a nod from Alex, gently led her to a chair.

"Right, Nurse, find out if Doctor Lee is working today, if not page him, I want him to be prepared to operate on Anneya if necessary."

"No, Alex, it's just a bump … I … I'm sorry." Rae couldn't help but interrupt, and her face showed her horror. Alex stopped speaking and looked to the nurse assisting him then, happy that she would carry out his instructions in his absence; he moved over to the chair that Rae was sitting on in the corner of the trauma suite, indicated to the nurse by her side that she should return to Anneya and crouched down and took her hand.

"Rae, she is very ill, very suddenly. The trauma is to the brain, the x-rays show that she has bleeding and swelling and it will need to be dealt with. I can't do that, Doctor Lee can, but if he decides that she needs an op, we can't waste time, so I need the permission now." Rae had turned her head, and Alex found he was waiting for her to look at him again.

"But she is so young and it is so dangerous, when I was attacked, I didn't have an operation, I don't understand why you think you need to do it."

"Rae, do you trust me?" Alex gently turned Rae's face so that they were looking into each other's eyes.

"Yes, you know I do."

"Then let me do this. I wouldn't even consider it if it wasn't necessary. The scans won't hurt her, but I need to get them done right now so that I can get her admitted to the PICU and we can begin monitoring her condition. Speed is of the essence here, just as it was with you, but, Honey, you were very lucky, I want Anneya to share in that luck, ok?"

"Ok." Rae didn't have the energy to say anything else.

Alex returned to his patient and checked the monitors, as he did so the door to the trauma suite opened.

"The imaging suite won't be free for another hour, Doctor."

"Dammit, let me speak to them." Alex picked up the phone in the room and punched a couple of buttons. "This is Doctor Alex Martin in Trauma Three … Yes, she told me that, but I have a child of fourteen months, she has a serious head trauma, a very low GSC, there is no response to stimuli and I want her scanned now … that's better, we'll be right up." Alex put the phone down and looked back at his nurses. "Let's move. Rae, I'll find you, ok?"

Rae had risen to her feet when Alex had raised his voice, but now she was unable to move, his words reverberating around in her mind.

"Mrs Travis, you can go to the waiting room, or you can go to the doctor's lounge." Rae just nodded; she didn't really know where she wanted to be.

The young woman, who Rae saw was called Nurse Parc, steered Rae towards the hallway. As they got there they heard the ping of the elevator and saw the doors close around the small figure of Anneya, being talked to all the time by Alex, and suddenly Rae realised that the one place she did want to be she was unable to go and so instead she watched the numbers change on the elevator display as it took her daughter away from her.