A/N – This may be my last update for a few weeks – I'm going home for Christmas tomorrow, so I won't have my own computer, then when I get back I've got three assignments to hand in. I hope that everyone has a lovely Christmas and gets everything they want!

PS – in the spirit of Christmas, how about a review?

Chapter 6

I have been trying to count the bricks in the walls of my prison cell. I find that it is easier to keep focussed on the present if my mind is occupied with something banal. It is monotonous, but that is the point. If I can continue to resist the Dementors, then I can remain myself.

I took my chance a couple of days later to talk to the only person I felt I could. I had been wandering the corridors for a few hours that Sunday morning. My chance to try for the Chaser position was later that afternoon, and by rights I should have been practicing, but I was finding it difficult to settle to anything since the night in Malfoy's study. The thought that I had to go back to him again that evening was making me sick to my stomach.

Quite by chance I came across Andromeda in the Entrance Hall, deep in conversation as usual with her best friend Clarity Jakes. The two Ravenclaws looked ready to acknowledge me quickly then get on with their tête-à-tête, Andromeda smiling and waving, and Clarity merely nodding. To their obvious surprise I wandered over to them, dragging my feet unwillingly but knowing that my favourite cousin was really the only one I could trust with my secrets.

Andromeda looked like someone had taken a box of crayons to our usually monochrome family colouring. Her hair looked nearly black, but on closer inspection it was actually a deep, rich coffee colour. She had, as usual, tied it back in a high bun, like a ballet dancer's, to keep it out of the way. On anyone else it would have looked severe, or as if she were trying to imitate McGonagall, but while Andromeda often had a serious look in her pale blue eyes, she generally had a friendly upturn to the corner of her mouth that made her seem welcoming. The extreme pallor of our family's skin had been given a pleasant pink flush across her cheeks, and she was the only one of her sisters that ever blushed. She was also the only one that could be described as pretty rather than beautiful. I loved her best of all my family, and the many happy days we had spent playing together as children gave us both an openness with one another that I would never dare to share with anyone else.

"Cousin dearest! I was wondering when you were going to drag yourself away from your own house to say hello to us poor Ravenclaws…" Andromeda and I often teased each other, knowing full well that whether we talked every day or once a year made not the slightest bit of difference to our fondness for each other.

"Hello Sirius, its nice to see you." Clarity greeted me in her thick Irish accent and smiled at me warily. I often felt that she was a bit jealous of me for being related to Andromeda. The two girls had been inseparable since first year, but even that had not changed the bond between my cousin and myself. I made Clarity feel insecure, through no fault of my own. And here I was, about to take Andromeda off again.

"'Lo, Clarity. Andromeda, could I talk to you?" Andromeda nodded instantly and smiled apologetically at Clarity.

"Well, don't mind me." Clarity shook her head, copper curls bouncing as she pushed off the wall and headed for the Great Hall. "I'll see you in the Common Room in a bit, eh, Meda?" Andromeda gave her a half-wave, and then drew me away down a deserted adjacent corridor. We ducked into an empty classroom and settled ourselves on stools.

"What is it, Sirius? You look so stern!" Andromeda sounded so worried that I had to chuckle a little, just to let her know it wasn't as bad as all that. It made me feel a little better too.

"It's alright, cuz, I'm not going to tell you I've got the plague or anything." She smiled, but her eyes were still concerned. "I wanted to talk to you… well, it's not really about me…" I sighed and rubbed my eyes. I hadn't slept properly the last few nights.

"Well, what is it? It can't hurt to tell me." She rested her hand on my knee, warm and comforting through my robes.

"It's about Remus, really." I glanced at her, my eyes finding the edge of the desk again quickly. She waited for me to go on. "Oh, hell, Andromeda, he's a queer!" I grated, getting up and starting to pace quickly the small space between the desks.

"Sirius." Andromeda was looking at me warningly. "You know I don't like to hear that kind of thing. There's no place for that kind of prejudice if we want to have a fair world." She had decided over the summer that she was a feminist, and had been reading all sorts of Muggle literature. Just one other reason for her not to fit in with the rest of the Black dynasty.

"Well he is!" She turned away from me, her lips pursed in disapproval. I flopped back onto the stool next to her. "I'm sorry, cuz, I didn't mean to be 'prejudiced'."

"You know how I feel." She turned her attention back to my problem. "What makes you think that he's a… homosexual?" I was again finding the edge of the desk terribly interesting.

"He…" I felt myself grimace. "…kissed me." She didn't laugh as I half expected her to, but started to twist her skirt between her fingers as she usually did when she was thinking.

"Oh." She was biting her lip, her eyes distant, when I looked up at her.

"You don't sound very surprised." She swung her pale blue eyes back to me.

"Hmm?" She shook herself. "Well, no, it's not really a big surprise. If he is homosexual then he's most likely to turn his affections to one of his closest friends, someone he feels he can trust. It's the most logical next step." She smiled distractedly and brushed a stray lock of black hair behind my ear. "It's not just because you're such a catch, in case that's what you're thinking!"

"I might have just lost one of my best friends, I could do with keeping my ego, thanks!" I joked weakly. She didn't look amused.

"What did you say to him?" She asked, annoyance creeping in to her tone.

"What? Nothing!" She was glaring at me sceptically, as if I'd have told him to drop dead or something. "I just told him I wasn't that way inclined, but I wouldn't tell anyone about it!"

"Well, OK then." She seemed mollified. "I'm just worried about what he must be going through right now." Her eyes took on that distant look again.

"What's this big concern for Remus all about? You've hardly ever spoken to him!" I had been hoping for a bit more sympathy myself, but it was looking less than likely. She tended to get an idea in her head and stick to it stubbornly until she had sorted out whatever was bothering her about it.

"Yes I have. Remember, I tutor him in Defence Against the Dark Arts." Of course, all of our family were well versed in that area. I had forgotten about Dumbledore's arrangement for the two of them. I realised she had coloured slightly. "He persuaded me to take Muggle Studies this year. It's really a very interesting area." A quick suspicion darted into my head.

"You've got a thing for him!" I almost laughed at her. "That's why you've been reading all that feminist rubbish all summer. You wanted to impress him!"

"Shush! It is not rubbish!" She looked terribly flustered. 'OK, so maybe I do like him. But it's all academic now, if what you say is true."

"Of course it's true! But it doesn't matter." I pulled myself together, trying not to grin at her too widely. It was all going to be fine. All I had to do was get the two of them together and Remus would see that girls were better for that sort of thing. I felt as though a great weight had been lifted off my chest. I was so relieved that I totally forgot about Malfoy. "Maybe it's just a phase, or he made a mistake."

"I don't think so…" Andromeda started doubtfully, but I carried on regardless.

"Don't worry, cuz, I'm sure he feels something for you, too. He's always talking about you." I lied, making nefarious plans in my head. He never talked about her, but I was sure that would change.

"Is he?" I saw a tiny flame of hope rekindle itself in her eyes. I did my best to fan it back to life.

"Oh yeah. All the time. When's your next tutorial?" I could have done a little dance at the prospect of getting Remus back as a proper friend.

"Thursday." She got up slowly, still deep in thought.

"Fine, then. Just make sure you look ravishing." I headed for the door, still making devious plans.

I had forgotten where this memory led, who was waiting for me at the end of my awkward but reassuring talk with Andromeda. I try desperately to change the memory, to count bricks, to think of something, anything else instead, but it is too late, they are already outside my cell.

I was practically whistling as I strode to the door of the classroom. Unfortunately something unpleasant was waiting on the other side of it. A dark haired boy in patched robes sprawled onto the floor when I pulled the door open. Someone had been listening to us, and as I grabbed his elbow to stop him escaping, I recognized the frightened face behind the curtain of black hair. "Snape!" I spat in surprise. I had never spoken to the quiet Slytherin boy before, and could think of no reason he'd want to eavesdrop on me. I pulled him upright and slammed him against the wall, his light frame no trouble to lift and push around.

"I'm s-s-sorry!" He gasped, trying to wriggle out from under my fist, and wincing in pain as I pushed it harder into his chest, his faded robes bunched in my hand. He had always been one of those kids you don't really notice; he did his work quietly, always knew the answers when asked in Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts, but never put his hand up in class. He was small for his age, and skinny: I must have been double his weight. His robes and his books were always second hand. I'd always felt a bit sorry for him.

"What do you think you were doing, listening in on us?" I felt Andromeda's hand on my shoulder, but shrugged it off. The thought of everything he might have heard made me see red. I bared my teeth, staring into his hook-nosed face. I must have looked a terrible sight, so much bigger than him and so angry.

"Nothing! I swear! I was tying my shoe!" He wriggled again, and I looked down to see that one of his battered shoes was, indeed, untied.

"Let him go, Sirius. That's enough." Andromeda said quietly behind me, and grudgingly I let Snape go, letting him slide down the wall until he was on his own feet again. He grasped at his throat, coughing, and pushed the hair out of his eyes. As quickly as he could, he limped out of the classroom.

"Queer." I swear I heard him mutter at me as he left, but when I started after him again he ran, and Andromeda held me back.

Later, that afternoon, I missed out on the Chaser position, my mind too preoccupied to concentrate properly on the game. James gave me a consolatory punch on the shoulder as he swept off with the rest of the Gryffindor team to their changing room. I thought I saw Remus in the stands, but by the time I got there he was gone.