38 Words Will Never Hurt Me?

The house had seemed very big and very empty after Steve left. Jo had made Debs comfortable in the morning room, and then, dragging Daniel with her, had gone into the kitchen to prepare a pot of tea and put some cookies on a plate. She had just begun to speak with her son when the door opened.

"Jo, Honey, don't you go usin' that tap water for me now. I have my own supply, I don't want the little heir to the Walters millions bein' contaminated in any way." Debbie indicated towards the hallway with her hand, "Daniel, be a good boy an' help your aunty by movin' this into the kitchen." Next to where Debbie was standing was a slightly different type of suitcase, it had a pulling handle on the top, but looked like a cupboard on wheels.

Daniel, none too graciously, grabbed the handle and began to pull the case towards the kitchen, he was amazed at how heavy it was, and also by the slightly uneven feel it had as he moved it. "Wow, what have you got in there?" The journey was over, and Daniel and his mom watched as Debbie carefully unzipped and opened her strange container.

"Why, my water, I told you, I don't use the stuff that comes out of the tap, this is pure Scottish water, I have it shipped in specially." Debbie took out a bottle of the clear liquid and handed it to Jo. "I need this to be used in anythin' that I consume which has water in it. Oh, an' all boiled water is to be heated up in this." From a lower level of the case Debbie took a clear Pyrex kettle, "it filters the water again, I can't even consider my baby havin' anythin' that isn't just as God made it."

Forcing back the cutting remark, which had settled on her tongue, Jo looked at the glass jug but didn't take it from her. "That's fine, Debs, if you just plug it in over there, you can go right ahead an' make yourself a drink, I think I'll have myself a soda instead." Jo moved over to her own refrigerator and took two cans from the door; she threw one to Daniel and then opened the other for herself.

"Jo, how can you put that into your body when you are usin' it as an incubator for your precious cargo?" Debbie looked scandalized and Jo groaned, there was no way she was going to be able to cope with a week of this.

ooo

The site of the latest body wasn't hard to pick out. Steve and Cheryl could see both the crowd of onlookers and reporters as well as the yellow police ribbon as it fluttered in the wind. Steve was anxious to get on with the crime scene investigation, but knew that he would have to answer, or field, at least three or four questions before he got that chance.

The victim had been left in the Japanese Garden, a usually tranquil part of the Botanical Gardens surrounding the Huntington Library. The area was designed for quiet contemplation, but both Steve and Cheryl knew that for one young woman it had been a place of horror and death instead.

"Lieutenant Sloan, is this another Red Rose killing?"

"Detective, what can you tell us about the latest victim?"

"What are you doing to catch this killer?"

The voices raised as each reporter tried to get his or her question to be one that was answered. Steve lifted his hand in an effort to silence the noise, and gradually, like a class of third graders, the noise lessened and lessened until no one was speaking.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, at this time there is very little that I can give you. We have had a report of a body being discovered here, and until my colleagues and I are allowed to do our jobs we will be unable to tell you anything further." Steve paused and once again the sound levels rose.

"But it is the Red Rose killer?"

"That's why you're here, isn't it, Lieutenant?"

"Once I know anything I will pass information on to you, but until that time I have nothing further to say." Steve moved towards where he could see Amanda waiting just inside the police tapes, he felt Cheryl at his side and managed to shut out the cacophony of sound and began to concentrate on the matter at hand.

"Hey, Steve, oh, hi, Cheryl." Amanda looked a little surprised not to see Rae, but smiled at her other friend. "How's Martin?"

"Ok, thank you. We're still looking for a place to rent and he's getting a bit discouraged, but he's good."

Amanda nodded, she was interested in what Cheryl had to say but she also needed to get back to work. "Right, once again we have a Jane Doe, it is always going to be that way with this guy I think. Steve, I've done all of these so far, but this one is bad, for some reason he really went to town on her, even without trying I can see about fifteen or twenty stab wounds, and not all of them were designed to kill or maim, they were for the pleasure of causing pain."

Steve shook his head, he'd seen a lot of dead bodies over the years, and most of them he just dealt with, but when they had been killed in such a manner that it was obvious that the killer had tortured the victim then he began to wonder about the career he'd chosen.

"Why? He always does the same things, the feet, the flower, the cut throat, but every time there are little differences, what are the reasons for those?" Steve ran his hand through his hair, he hated to admit it but right now he could do with Ron's presence to help him with the profile of this guy.

As if reading his mind Amanda smiled. "Rae has arranged to meet with Ron Tuesday afternoon, she wants to go over all the killings and try and work out why he changes some things and not others. I know enough to realize that she is talking about MO and signature, but I don't really understand why one changes and the other doesn't."

"Well, to be honest, I have so much going round my mind right now that if she wants to deal with that then I am more than happy to just pass it right on over to her. So, I guess you'd better show me what you've got." Steve indicated with his hand and both Cheryl and Amanda moved off in front of him. The walk was about two to three minutes, and Steve was glad that the police tape had been set so far away from the curious eyes of the reporters.

"It's a beautiful place isn't it?" Cheryl looked around her, she wondered whether Martin would find some peace here, it certainly had a special atmosphere, even with what she knew awaited her just a little further along the path she was traveling.

"It's lovely." Amanda turned to her friend as she spoke. "The whole garden is designed to be an area of quiet contemplation, there will be flowing water as well as still, and there has to be moon bridges."

"Really? How did you know all that?" Cheryl had carried on looking at the garden as Amanda spoke, and she could see all the different aspects that had been mentioned.

"I love coming here, to see the art collections, especially in the Virginia Steele Scott Gallery, there are some beautiful paintings there, and I have spent many happy hours just wandering the paths, and sitting taking in all the soothing sights and sounds of the gardens." Amanda slowed down to let Steve catch up and then she moved across the grass towards one of the red coloured bridges she had just talked about.

"The body is down here, a lot of blood has flowed into the water, but you can still see it on the path." Amanda pointed to where the blood soaked feet of a young woman could be seen.

"Hair cut off?" Steve began to count off the things which hadn't changed.

"Yeah, slightly different to normal, the others, sometimes they've seemed hacked, done in a hurry, but this hair has a new style and there is none of it left, the cut hair I mean."

"Oh great, more differences, feet slashed?"

"Yep, just as usual." Amanda nodded and she could see Cheryl making notes as Steve spoke.

"Rose." Steve stated rather than asked and was surprised when Amanda shook her head.

"No, no rose, but there was a black tulip."

"What? I thought that was a given, Red Rose Killer? Red Rose, it was a what?"

"A black tulip." Amanda didn't say anything she could see the facts working their way through Steve's brain and she didn't want to interrupt.

"Ok, I guess, think about it. You're blonde, you're gonna be as jumpy as a cat on a hot tin roof, about any strangers anyway, but if they come bearing red roses you are gone. He can't have that happen, so he changed the flower. He could change it every time couldn't he?" Steve looked at the two women in front of him, they were listening to everything he said, concentrating fully.

"Steve, I can't answer that, and you can't either. Maybe he will change again, or he could go back to red roses next time." Cheryl had finished writing down the findings so far and was pleased to be able to join in the conversation.

The next two hours were spent with Amanda working on the area surrounding the body and directing operations as far as the photos she wanted taken. Steve and Cheryl did the same from the LAPD side of things, working with the Crime Scene officers and also speaking with the head of security for the Huntington Library to find out how their protection methods were implemented.

Finally, a little after two in the afternoon, by which time the body had been removed to the morgue, and all but the dedicated amongst the journalists had left, Steve and Cheryl were ready to head back to the station.

"You know, when I go to a murder scene I can look around and it's obvious that the area will be forever tainted by what happened, but somehow, this time, it's not like that, this time I think the garden will win." Cheryl smiled, she would come back, and she would bring Martin with her, because the peace she had found here was stronger than any of the awful things that the city had to offer.

ooo

"I don't care what you think, I'm not doing it, what's the point, it's stupid!"

"No, Honey, it's not, you are given homework to show that you can work on your own, that you have taken in everythin' that was told you in the lessons, an' that you can use the information in your own way." Jo had pulled her hair back into a scrappy ponytail so that she could run the vacuum around the downstairs rooms and clean the kitchen floor. Debs was sitting in the morning room reading a parenting magazine and had daintily lifted her feet as the cleaner was run underneath them.

"What's the point?"

"You just said that, an', if I remember correctly I replied. Daniel, please, while she is here, please, behave." Jo looked at her son he seemed so conflicted, and she desperately wanted to take him into her arms and hold him tightly until he finally told her what the matter was.

"Why? She sure doesn't. Three different types of sandwich she had you make, and then she ate the first ones! I have made five cups of tea with that precious water of hers, and she hasn't drunk any of them. The bed is too hard, the sunlight too strong, the air too dirty, she is behaving like a spoiled brat, but I can't voice my opinions."

"Well, I have to say I think you just did." Jo paused for a moment, she knew, in a way, Daniel had a point, Debs was acting up, and not only that but she had floored both of them with an announcement over lunch which had made Jo want to scream at the woman and cry for the relationship with her brother which was so obviously gone.

"Honey, I have some news to tell you. I wanted to have Steve here too, but I just can't wait any longer." Debbie had fished about in the small pink purse that she had put on the dining table next to her. "Davie said I was to keep this hidden until I had told you."

"Davie?" Jo had repeated the one word, no one, not even their Grandmamma, had called her brother that, no one except her.

"I heard you call him that, an' it was just so cute, now I don't use anythin' else."

"I see." Jo had clenched her hands into fists underneath the table, controlling her breathing and her temper with difficulty. That was her name; David had never let anyone else call him that, just like Rae called her Texas, but more so, it was special, family special.

"We kept waitin' for you to tell us when you were free, but you seem to live such busy lives, I don't know what you do, you seem to always be here, but you were never available to come to Texas."

Jo had said nothing, for a start she was having a very bad feeling about what Miss Prissy Knickers had to say, or now she thought it would be Mrs Prissy Knickers, and secondly, in the four months since she had been released from the hospital after Werner kidnapped her, the two days she had spent at her old home had been two days too many.

"Oh, I can't wait for you to say anythin', we're married, Davie an' I, we went across the border into Mexico an' had ourselves a lovely little weddin'. It was just so romantic. So I am now Mrs Walters, an' my baby will be the heir, don't you just wish you had gotten yourself pregnant a few months earlier?"

"I guess I should congratulate you, but you are wrong, I was the heir to the Walters estate, an' my children will inherit everythin'. An' just to point out one tiny little thing, you are fifteen years too late gettin' pregnant!" Jo had got up from the table then, her appetite completely gone, the noises of confusion and anger from Debbie not stopping her as she left the room with Daniel following very closely behind her.

"Daniel, just go do your homework, your dad will be home in about three hours, he will ask, an' I just want to keep everythin' as peaceful as possible." A feeling of bone weariness seemed to flow over her, and she leant back against the wall.

"Mom, are you alright?" Daniel was instantly concerned, all the colour seemed to have left his mother's face, and for a moment he thought she might pass out. "Should I go get Jesse?"

"No, Honey, I'm just very tired. I think I'll take me off for a little nap while you do your studying. If Debs wants anythin' tell her you are too busy an' she can either get it for herself or wait until I get up." Jo made her way towards the door to the morning room but returned with a smile. "The bed may be too hard, but the sofa is obviously just right, she is sleepin' like a baby, an' that's what I plan to do too." She smiled again as she felt Daniel slip his arm through hers, and then together, mother and son climbed the stairs to the second level.

ooo

Jesse had cleaned the house, or the areas that they used, as well as he could, Eliana and Anneya had followed him from room to room and so he had given each of them a cloth and they had dusted the surfaces that they could reach. Eliana's happy chatter had diverted his mind from the difficult subjects he had broached with Rae earlier in the morning and during the night, and he had enjoyed the company of his children. Once the downstairs rooms were reasonably tidy the three of them had eaten lunch and then, dusters in hand, they had climbed the stairs to tackle the bedrooms. The sheets had been stripped off the bed Jesse had used, causing screams and squeals of laughter as he 'accidentally' dropped the covers over his little girls and then pretended he couldn't find them even though they could see each other as he peeped under the corners. Jesse left the master bedroom, knowing that Rae would want to tidy that herself, and finally found himself in the nursery with two tired children.

"So, who wants a story?" Jesse looked at Anneya as he spoke and, even though he knew she wouldn't understand, made the sign for a book that he had used when he played charades as a boy.

"Me, me, Nemo, Daddy, peeze." Eliana rushed to the shelf and found the new book that they had got when they bought the movie, "vis one." She thrust it at Jesse and then clambered up onto her bed and made herself comfortable against the wall, picking up the soft stuffed cat which was resting on her pillow.

Jesse made sure that Anneya could see him and then he carefully picked her up and placed her on the bed. He made himself comfortable between the two girls and began the story, hoping that the pictures would satisfy one child as much as the words would the other.

Thirty minutes later both of his daughters were fast asleep and so he carefully lifted Anneya and put her in her own crib, then he covered up Eliana with the throw from the bottom of the bed and crept from the room. He knew that he had about an hour to two hours before either of them stirred and so he headed for the computer needing to look up any facilities for Deaf children that Los Angeles could offer.

Gradually as the afternoon progressed, and the two children slept on in the silence, Jesse realised that they weren't alone. He found residential homes, which he wouldn't consider, day care centers which provided helpers who would sign with Deaf children, he also found a family based organization which offered all the help and assistance that he knew they needed. There were classes to help children learn American Sign Language, areas where siblings could go and play and have quality time without the need to watch out for their other brothers and sisters, there were meetings each week for parents to discuss their problems, or help solve those of other members. With each item that he read Jesse got more and more excited. He pressed button after button ordering information, booklets, videos and tapes covering all types of different aspects of living with a Deaf member of the family, and he didn't even check the total when he went through the check out. Once that had been done he found the 'contact us' page and sent an e-mail introducing himself and asking whether his family could be considered for any of the services he had read about. Then with a sigh Jesse realised just how stiff he was and stood up for a stretch. He made his way to the kitchen to pour himself a desperately needed cup of coffee and to grab a sandwich; by the time he returned to the office where the computer was situated he had a reply in his in-box from the founder of the 'Footprints in the Sand' organization inviting him and his family to visit with them on the Wednesday of the next week.

Jesse couldn't believe how satisfied he felt as he read the information in the e-mail, he had started the ball rolling, they would get Anneya all the help she needed, and when he went into work the next day he would look into Cochlear implants, and other medical interventions which may help her as well.

Eliana and Anneya woke up a little after four and he had dinner almost ready, a CD playing in the player, which he was singing along to, and a positive feeling inside of him which had been missing for far too long.

ooo

Rae had returned to the squad room at four and everyone working there knew instantly not to approach or talk to her. The way she carried herself, sat down at her desk, and then stared off into space told them more than any words could, she was suffering, something had affected her badly, and until she worked it through herself none of the other detectives would be able to help her.

After sitting for ten minutes a cup of hot tea appeared by her side, and still without a sound apart from a quiet 'thank you', she took a sip. Gradually, words began to appear on the pad in front of her as Rae made notes about her day. She knew that she needed to speak with Steve and so, once everything had been written down to her satisfaction, Rae made her way to Captain Newman's office and tapped on the door, feeling the eyes of everyone else in the room on her, but out of concern rather than curiosity, they had all been where she was right now, and knew how to act.

"Come in." Steve looked up, smiled his lopsided smile and got to his feet. "Hi, sit down."

Rae did as she was told, and then waited, in case Steve needed to speak first. The silence told her he was waiting too, and so she began to speak. "The Chief called this morning, he's back from Barbados, and so are Mr and Mrs Edwards. He says that we need to go up tomorrow and interview them both. I explained about the captain coming back, but he said this took precedence and he expected us to be on our way by ten at the latest."

"Great, just what I need, a trip up the coast. Ok, what else can I say, I'll pick you up from your place at half past nine and we can sit in traffic together all the way to Santa Barbara."

"Ok. Works for me." Rae got to her feet but Steve shook his head and she sat back down, hoping she wouldn't be asked to explain her actions, and knowing inside that he wouldn't ask.

"We got another killing." Steve didn't need to clarify his statement he knew that Rae would know exactly what he was talking about. "Cheryl and I took the call this morning, blonde, probably beautiful; she was killed in the Japanese Gardens."

For Rae that was the final straw, she swallowed back the tears, which had been threatening her for hours, and just nodded. "I see." The words were strained and she didn't look up from her hands entwined in her lap.

"Amanda will have the details by morning, but I guess if we are going to Santa Barbara we won't get to see them until the evening."

"No, I guess not. If that's all, Sir?" Rae stood again and this time saw her friend and partner nod. "Thank you."

"Rae?"

She turned as she reached the door, she couldn't tell him, not yet, not about her afternoon, but the other thing, the final straw, somehow that was easier. "The Japanese Gardens are one of my special places." The door closed behind her and knowing that no one would stop her Rae picked up her jacket and the paperwork she had generated that afternoon and made her way towards the parking lot.

ooo

Jesse had taken the girls round to Jo's after he had finished preparing dinner so that he could ask a few questions about the house that had come to his mind since the wonderful moment when it had become theirs. When he had arrived though he found that the Sloans' had a guest, and it was apparent that Jo wouldn't want business discussed in front of her. Jo herself was still asleep, and it was Daniel who answered the door, smiling broadly when he saw his dad's best friend.

It had taken a while, mostly spent with Maddie, for Daniel to realize that Jesse was still the closest friend his dad would ever have, and that if they could get past what had happened when Jesse attacked Steve then so could he.

"Hey, you don't know anything about osmosis do you?"

"Homework, huh? I could help if you would like, but I really wanted to see your mom."

"She's asleep. Jesse, is it normal for her to just all of a sudden be so tired that she can hardly stand up?" Daniel was worried, still, about how his mother had come over so weary so quickly.

"It can be, I can check her over if she wants me to, but the early stages of pregnancy take a lot out of the body, and sleep is one of the better ways of putting it all back in again."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Hey, leave that alone!" The sound of a raised voice coming from the morning room caused both Jesse and Daniel to turn in that direction. Neither of them had registered the fact that Eliana and Anneya had let go of their daddy's hands and toddled off together, as at home in this house as they were in their own. Debbie, who had still been asleep, was now awake, and not happy.

"Debbie, I am so sorry, did they startle you?" Jesse came into the room just in time to see Eliana empty Debbie's purse onto the rug. "Eliana, stop that." Jesse moved forward but Debbie realizing what she had said and how it would look smiled.

"I didn't realize who it was, they can play with it, the sweet, sweet things. Hi, Honey, do you remember your Aunty Debbie?" She placed her hand on the back of Anneya's shoulder as she spoke and the little girl, absorbed in tissues and make up, jumped and began to scream. "Well, I never did, she is mighty highly strung."

"Shhh, Honey, it's ok." Jesse soothed his daughter, even though the words were more for himself than her. "You knew she had been ill, Debbie?" He was rocking now, gently back and forth and the movements seemed to calm Anneya.

"Of course, I did, I heard about that in a letter that Jo sent to Davie, poor chil' is she feelin' better now?" Debbie put her hands protectively across her stomach just in case she had caught anything in the hospital.

"She's fine, but she can no longer hear, if you talk to her, or want her to know you need her you have to be in front of her."

"Oh my, I didn't know, Jesse, I am so sorry, is there nothin' that you can do, you bein' a doctor an' all?"

"We're looking into it all at the moment, but these things take time."

"Well, I am mighty pleased that you an' Rae are back together, an' facin' this as a family. It must be doubly hard if you have to do these thin's alone.

"How did … what did you say?" For a moment Jesse took a mental step backwards. Rae had said she hadn't told anyone their business, but he knew that she liked Debs; maybe she had spoken to her.

"I'm sorry, I'm not givin' away any secrets am I? Jo mentioned to Davie that you were havin' a few problems." Debbie hastily covered her tracks, or at least she hoped she did.

"No, no, it's just still a bit difficult, is all."

"Jesse, Honey, I didn't know you were here, I am so sorry." Jo's voice broke into the conversation and Jesse turned to give his friend a kiss.

"Don't worry, I haven't been here long. How are you, Jo, did you know your son is worried about you?" Jesse tried to cover his own concern by being a little more formal than usual.

"I did know," She smiled, she didn't want to worry anyone, but Daniel's concern warmed her. "I'm tired, but I'm ok. I am missin' Michael, an' Steve is at work today." Jo couldn't say that she would be far happier if she didn't have a guest, but that was true too.

"Come in and see me or Mark tomorrow, let us check you over, you could be anemic, or just a little run down. But I'm sure it's nothing to worry about."

"You're sure?" The sudden beating of her heart and the panic she could feel welling up inside of her, made Jo need to sit down, and so she did, right next to Debbie, who was immediately the picture of a concerned friend.

"Now you just put your feet up here, you're sure you're not retainin' water?" Debbie touched Jo's foot and she was only just able to resist the temptation to kick out. "I will go an' make you a nice cup of that herbal tea Rae drinks, it is much better for you at this stage than that other stuff, an' then when you get a little further on you should take raspberry leaf, good for all sorts of things."

Jo lay back, it did feel good not to have to do anything, and she knew that once Steve got home if she needed to she could go to bed and stay there. Jo checked her watch, it was twenty past five and she hadn't even begun to think about dinner yet. As Jo tried to remember what she had in the freezer which might just be pure enough for Little Miss Prissy Knickers and chil' the phone began to ring and with a sigh Jo lowered her feet to the floor.

"Jo, let me get it, relax, let others do for you. You will get over this tiredness and be bouncing around unable to stop; you have to do what your body tells you to." Jesse was walking away as he spoke and he picked up the phone. "Sloan residence … oh, hi, Steve, no, I'll just get her… Sorry, what?" Jesse listened with concern to what his friend had to say, "Oh, I'll go home then, thanks … yeah, here she is." Jesse handed over the phone and then looked for Daniel, he saw the boy down on the carpet with Eliana carefully putting everything back in the purse.

"She gets real angry, so we had better put it all away, ok?"

"K, Danl." Eliana looked at her friend with love in her eyes, she was devoted to Unki Teve, but if he wasn't around then Danl was a close second.

Jesse shook his head, he knew that Eliana would repeat the fact that Debbie got angry, but it was too late now. "Honey, we need to go home, Mommy finished work a little early."

The grin from Eliana was instant and beautiful; she got to her feet, Daniel and the contents of the purse forgotten and grabbing Anneya by the hand she moved over towards her daddy, leaving Daniel to finish the work alone.

ooo

Rae had managed to contain her feelings all the way home in the car, but when she drove in through the gates of Oak Place they began to overwhelm her, she parked in her usual place, rummaged for her keys and almost blindly fumbled her way inside. Rae knew instantly that the house was empty and unsure whether to be relieved or disappointed the tears finally flowed and she rushed into the breakfast room and threw herself down on the sofa.

Jesse had walked quite quickly past the house that split the Travis's from the Sloans but Rae's car was already in front of the garage. He turned the handle on the front door and was surprised to find that Rae hadn't locked it after her. Steve had said he knew she was upset and he guessed that she just hadn't remembered. As these thoughts went through his mind he realised that he could hear crying, in fact more than crying, Rae was somewhere sobbing.

Eliana found her mommy first and as usual burst into tears herself. Rae didn't stop crying, but just swept the child up into her arms and then cried with her. Jesse let them stay together for a few moments, knowing that the tears of his daughter would stop as quickly as they started, and sure enough she was soon wriggling to get back down again. Rae let her go, and Eliana stood by the side of the sofa gently stroking her mother's hand, and again Jesse watched.

After about ten minutes Rae looked up into the face of her husband and tried a watery smile. "Hi."

"Hi, yourself, Sweetheart, what's the matter?" Jesse sat down as Rae moved herself over to give him room and saw her eyes fill with tears again.

"No, Daddy, Mommy better, ou naughty make her cwy gen." Eliana had her 'Miss Amy' voice on and both of her parents had to smile.

"Thank you, Sweetie, go play with Anneya for a little while, Mummy needs to talk with Daddy." Rae wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her top and then stroked her little girl's brown curls and watched as they bounced under her hand.

"K, Mommy."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jesse watched her face, the tears were still there, and he knew that some more would fall, but he also knew that she would want to share, she was unlike him in that anything concerning her was soon released, it had to be or it ate away at her and she would break down completely, like she had just after they had first met, since then Rae had been far more open than he could ever be.

"Yeah, I do, but it's hard, y'know, I picked up a case, Friday night, before the burglars came here, which was why I was late."

Jesse listened, and gradually as she described the scene he felt himself move into it with her, and the events of the afternoon opened up before him.

Rae had waited at the door to Mr and Mrs Wendell's neat home hoping against hope that they wouldn't be in and she could go back to the station. She knew that they had already been visited by one of the station's female officers as well as Captain Brownlow, who was in charge of the uniformed division; the Wendell's chaplain had been present too. The door opened though and a woman in her, Rae guessed, mid fifties, with a small child in her arms tried to smile at her even though her red rimmed eyes gave away her distress.

"Yes, dear?"

"Mrs Wendell?"

"Yes, dear." The woman was still smiling, its artificiality tearing at Rae.

"Mrs George Wendell?"

The smile had gone now as the woman nodded and for an instant Rae hated her job.

"Ma'am, I'm Detective Reagan Yeager, LAPD, I need to talk to you about your son Oliver and his wife June." She showed her ID as she spoke.

"You … you'd better come in." the distress was now evident in the woman's voice and Rae wasted no time in entering the neat home closing the door and following Mrs Wendell into the living room.

There was a small boy playing with his cars on a large road mat spread out across the carpet, he smiled at Rae and stood up. "Hi, wanna play cars?"

Rae crouched down so that she was at the same level as the little boy, "Maybe later, right now I need to speak to your grandma?" Rae looked over at the woman to get confirmation that she had her title right.

"He'll be fine; he asks everyone, he's used to people saying no. Please sit down."

Rae had done as she was bid, and then taken her notepad out of the pocket of her jacket. She wanted to be as professional as possible, not only for the woman in front of her but also for herself. "Ma'am, is your husband at home?"

"Yes, he's out back in his woodshed. Well, it's not a woodshed, but that's what he's always called it. He's spent a lot of time there since … since we heard. Chip, go get Grandpa, there's a good boy."

"K, Grandma." The little boy got to his feet and ran out of the room and Rae smiled as she watched him go.

"How old is he?"

"He'll be four just next week; he was almost a Thanksgiving baby."

"And the little girl?"

"She is sixteen months, this is Kayleigh. They … they don't know, not yet, we … we have no idea how to tell them."

Rae nodded her head, "I have two daughters, they are almost the same age as your grandchildren. Mind you, I have three other children one of whom is married himself, sometimes I think I must be mad." Rae didn't know why she had given out such private information, but it seemed the right thing to do. "You do know that there are all sorts of agencies you can contact to help you tell them don't you? If you call the station they will be able to give you the numbers." Rae silently cursed the fact that she hadn't brought with her some of the various contact cards she kept in her desk.

The room descended into silence and they waited until George Wendell came into the room. "Mother, what's the problem?" Mr Wendell was a giant of a man, Rae watched as he sat next to his wife, and dwarfed her. Rae could see that he too had been crying and wondered whether Mrs Wendell realised how much of a refuge the woodshed had become to her husband.

"Sir, my name is Detective Yeager, LAPD, I need to speak to both of you about your son and his wife." Rae still had her ID in her hand and she showed it to the obviously distraught couple sitting across the small room from her. "I know that this is very hard for you, and you have my deepest sympathy, but I have to ask these questions sooner rather than later." Rae paused and saw both of her companions nod their heads, then she took a deep breath and pressed on. "When was the last time that you spoke to your son or his wife?"

"The day before yesterday, Oliver brought the children over, we weren't supposed to have them but he said … he said something had come up and he needed them to be out of the house. He seemed agitated, I said, didn't I, George, how he seemed agitated? Detective, what happened to my boy?"

For a second Rae was transfixed in horror as she thought that maybe Mrs Wendell didn't know her son was dead, but then Mr Wendell spoke and she realised that it was the facts she was lacking.

"Hush now, Mother, let the officer do things her way, you know that the men yesterday said that the details would be a little while in coming." The words were gruff but not unkind, and Mrs Wendell leant into her husband's large body and Rae watched as she tried desperately to hold herself together.

"Sir, Ma'am, I know that you were told that there was an incident at your son's house yesterday afternoon, and that both he and his wife were dead."

Rae turned to Jesse, her eyes filling with tears again. "They were just devastated all over again, Jesse, and they didn't know the worst of it yet, those two beautiful children were so worried about their grandparents, like Eliana was for me just now, and there was nothing I could do but sit and wait until they calmed down a little and I could break their hearts all over again." Rae leant into Jesse, as Mrs Wendell had done with her husband earlier in the day, and the feeling of his arm as he put it around her and pulled her a little closer gave her the strength to carry on with her story.

"How did they die, Detective?" It was George Wendell who had gathered himself together first and he had looked at his wife until she had nodded her head before asking the question that Rae had known would be next.

"We think, from the autopsy results and the notes we found, that your son killed his wife and then took his own life."

"No." The one word had come out as a gasp and Mrs Wendell had almost disappeared into her husband's grasp. Again Rae had waited, watching the two children playing with the cars on the floor, the little girl just whizzing them up and down while the boy parked them in the correct places, lined them up at traffic signals and portrayed what he saw every day right there in front of him.

Once again the room became quieter, although this time the silence was punctuated with sobs and the occasional gasp. Rae moved across from where she had been sitting to crouch down in front of Mrs Wendell and take one of her hands into her own.

"Is there someone I can call to come stay with you? This is a terrible thing to have happen, and there will be far more to contend with before it begins to calm down a little."

"We … we have a daughter who lives in Palm Springs, she wasn't there when we … we found out, she works away, could you call her? Sasha, Sasha Macbride is her name." Mrs Wendell pointed over to the phone and Rae could see an address book on the table next to it.

"I called her, and she is coming to stay with them. I also called their doctor, filled him in a little on the details, and got a neighbor to stay in close contact with them until Mrs Macbride arrives, I did everything I could, except give them back their son."

"Do you know why he killed her? He must have been planning it if he sent the children away." Jesse's voice was hushed the total desolation that the couple had felt affecting him as well.

"It was all set out, the letters showed that. He hadn't planned to kill himself to start with, he made it look like the house had been burglarized, but he made loads of mistakes, the note said that once he had killed June he realised what he had done and knew that he could no longer live and that was why he was going to kill himself."

"But why did he kill her?" Jesse asked the same question again, it suddenly seemed extremely important to him that he knew. "Rae?"

She looked at him, the love in her deep brown eyes shining through and for a second Jesse wondered whether she would back away and not continue with her tale but then he saw her take a deep breath and he knew that she was over her hesitation.

"He had left her, asked for a divorce, but she wouldn't give it to him. Apparently he had been in a car accident and his passenger had died, it had left him both mentally and physically impaired, he had a slight limp, he had lost his job and he wasn't handling things at all well, his mother said that she had looked his symptoms up and had been trying to persuade him that he was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder…" Rae stopped talking, she couldn't speak any more, the information she had got from Mr and Mrs Wendell had chilled her to the bone, and she had wanted to run, to just get up and leave their house, but she hadn't been able to.

"Oh, God, Rae." Jesse pulled her a little closer and held her a little tighter. "Never, Honey, I promise, I would never had let myself …"

"I know, I know that, but, oh, Jess, they said he wouldn't talk his feelings through, wouldn't open up to anyone, and in the end he snapped. He felt he was offering his wife a way out when he said he wanted a divorce, and all I could think of was that you did the same, they told me that he tried to hurt his wife with words, to get her to hate him, and I could hear you, telling me that I had spoilt everything.

"Jesse, I love you more than anything in the world, I … I will go if you will be happier that way … but I … I don't want to."

"No, Honey, I don't want you to go either." He swallowed down his own tears, knowing that Rae's need was greater than his right now. "We belong together, the four of us, we are a family."

The tears fell again, uncontrollable sobs wracked her body, and Jesse held her tightly in his arms, and thanked God that they had talked, and that the friends he had, however much they may have changed, had always been there for him, to help him back into the way of life that, if he was honest, he didn't ever want to end.

ooo

Steve had picked up barbeque on the way home, and a salad that he had washed himself in bottled water under Jo's instructions for Debbie.

For the third evening in a row though the dinner table was a tense and unhappy place, but this time Steve had no idea why.

"Jo, is everything alright?" He looked at his wife, she seemed a little pale, and the tiredness around her eyes seemed more pronounced than usual.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go see your daddy in the mornin' though, I'm feelin' a little peaky, I would like him or Jesse to check me over."

"Do you want to go now? I can get Dad to go in too." Steve stood up, the worry evident on his face.

"No, I'm gonna eat my dinner an' then get me an early night." Jo leant over and picked up a rib to make her point.

"I don't wish to put any more on your backs than you've already got, but I do have myself a little problem." Debbie put her fork down daintily on her plate and looked at her hosts, fluttering her eyelashes at Steve as she did so.

"What is that?" Steve smiled at her, she looked so concerned, and he knew that she was worried about Jo too.

"Well, my purse fell on the floor this afternoon, when those dear angels from next door were here, an' once they had gone Daniel put the things back in for me."

"Yes, I know I was there, I saw him." Jo felt herself begin to get defensive, although she didn't know why, yet.

"I am missin' twenty dollars out of my wallet an' a very nice watch is gone too."

"They must have fallen out someplace, I'll check after dinner." Steve smiled again as he reached for more food, but his hand stopped as Debbie began to talk again.

"I don't think you need concern yourself with that, I know where they are."

"Oh, where?"

"Your son, I saw him take them an' put them in his pocket."

"I didn't, Dad, I swear, I didn't." Daniel stood up, knocking his chair backwards with a crash as he did so.

"Daniel, sit down. Debbie, I'm sure that you must be mistaken, he wouldn't do that."

"Steve, I'm sorry, I know that I am a very welcome guest in your home, but the fact of the matter is, I saw the boy, an' if you search him he will be found guilty."

Steve looked at his son, not really knowing what to do, but Daniel took the matter into his own hands.

"You … you cow! I didn't take anything, I've never stolen from a person in my life, look around you, lady, I have more than you will ever have, why should I want to take your lousy stuff?"

"Daniel, that's enough, if you have nothing to hide, I suggest you turn your pockets out." Steve moved towards his son, but saw the anger and defiance in his eyes and stopped.

"You believe her?" Daniel's voice was full of the hurt he felt and shouted at his father, finally letting out some of his worries. "How can you believe her? You think you have a thief for a son, well, guess what, Lieutenant, you adopted me, and there is nothing you can do about it, you're stuck with me! I'll let you down just like I do everyone, disappoint you, make you wish you'd never bothered with me!" Daniel kicked out at the chair as he passed and then stifling a sob rushed from the room leaving his parents stunned and silent as he did so.