Chapter 43 Friends and Relations
"Steve, Honey, I'm just goin' round to Oak Place to help Jesse get the girls ready." Jo's voice was light and happy, and Steve, who was working out in his gym, stopped checked his watch, put a towel round his neck and went out into the hallway.
"Oh, ok. We have two hours before we need to leave, I'll go start suggesting that Daniel heads for the shower in a minute. Say hi to Rae for me." Steve dabbed his face with the towel, and then placed it back over his bare shoulders. His partner had been home for three days and he knew that she was still finding things very tough, but he was too, he needed to go and see her privately, but so far hadn't plucked up the courage to do so. Maybe at the wedding, when everyone was relaxed and happy, he could speak with her and arrange to spend some time with her.
"I will, I know she wants to get the bridesmaid dresses an' all on them herself, an' go to Amanda's, but Eliana an' Anneya aren't known for stayin' still too long, an' she is still feelin' awful. I haven't said anythin' but I'm just hopin' she makes it there herself." Jo had been with her friend almost continuously since she had come home from the hospital, watching over her like a mother hen, making sure that she didn't do anything that would cause her any more pain than she was already in, but also insisting that she follow the exercise regime that Alex had put in place for her. Jo had tried to get Steve to speak with Rae, but hadn't succeeded so far. Rae hadn't mentioned the fact that Steve hadn't spoken to her about the shooting, but she was still so far from being well that Jo wasn't concerned about that.
"Don't I get a kiss before you go?" Steve moved closer but Jo stepped back.
"Darlin' you are as sexy as they come lookin' like that, in just boxers an' a blush, but you've been in that gym for almost two hours, I'll wait until you've showered!" Jo blew him a kiss instead and then, laughing at the look of mock horror on her husband's face, walked out of the front door and began the short journey to Jesse and Rae's house.
Rae had stayed in the hospital for eighteen days in the end, although the final six of them had been at Community General after Jesse and Alex had arranged for her to be transferred there. She had picked up a lung infection and was still feeling weak, tearful and very tired even though she was home.
The run up to Amanda's wedding had passed Rae completely by, the bachelorette party happening, as Jo's had done, while she was in the hospital. Although this time it hadn't been Eliana who had needed the care. Once again everyone had rallied around to help look after the two children, and Jo had been planning a Christmas party at her friend's request so that Rae and Jesse could thank all their friends.
The sound of a child crying reached Jo's ears as she got closer to the front door of Oak Place, and she hoped that it wasn't caused by anything serious. She rang the bell and then waited. Rae and Jesse had taken on a housekeeper, much to Jo's delight and Rae's disgust. It wasn't that Rae disliked the young woman they had hired, she didn't, it was just that she hadn't wanted to have any help, on principal, Jo thought.
"Hi, Vicki, how's it goin'?"
"Fine, Mrs Sloan, although I think that Anneya is just about ready for a nap." The young woman smiled and moved out of the way so that Jo could enter and then closed the door behind her.
Vicki was, Jo knew, twenty-seven years old. She was a naturally sunny and friendly person and came highly recommended. She was also, much to Eliana's delight, Miss Amy's sister. Jesse had mentioned that he was looking for a housekeeper when he picked Eliana up from school one lunchtime and Miss Amy had said her sister had just lost her job at a special school in the area. When Jesse found out that she used to work with deaf children he had almost begged Eliana's teacher to introduce them, and a week later Vicki had begun working for the Travis household.
"Hi, Jo, Rae's in the breakfast room, I'm just about to take little Miss Cheerful here up for a sleep. Thank you, Vicki. Eliana, of course, is with her mom." Jesse still wasn't used to having someone answer the door, take phone messages and do all the washing, cleaning and general chores, but he had an idea that it wouldn't take him long.
"Hey, Sweetie, you sleep peacefully now, ok?" Jo was standing so that Anneya could see her, and she spoke just as she would to Eliana even though she knew that the little girl would have no idea what she was actually saying. Already Anneya looked at people's lips and their hands, and Jo had watched Vicki sign things to her and been amazed to see that she was getting a response. Jo carefully kissed the child on the cheek and then, as Jesse began to climb the stairs, she went towards the sunny room which was her friend's favourite.
Eliana seemed to have suffered the most of anyone apart from Rae this time. She had become almost inseparable from her mom, not wanting to let her out of her sight for even the shortest time. Jesse had taken her to visit Rae in the hospital but the little girl had become so distressed when it was time to leave that it had only happened once. She still used her toys, drew her pictures and watched TV, but Rae had to be within touching distance at all times. Even Miss Amy had been relegated to a nobody, Eliana crying and not wanting to go to school for the first time since she started there. In the end Eliana had stayed home the day that Rae was discharged with Steve and Jesse taking her in the following morning, and coming home beaming with pride at what Miss Amy had said.
Rae and Jo had been in the breakfast room when their husbands' had returned from dropping the girls off to Sally and Miss Amy. They could both tell immediately that they had something to relate and had sat, smiling and waiting for the story to start.
"Does your daughter ever stop talking?" Steve had begun the conversation and Rae had just shaken her head.
"No, I don't think so, not when she has an audience, why?" Rae hadn't been home twenty-four hours yet, and she looked pale and fragile.
"Because she chattered all the way to school, explained how to press the bell, again! And then talked non-stop until she got into the classroom." Jesse had shaken his head and Jo had laughed.
"I got it in reverse the other day when I picked her up, an' I was told all about the bell, for when I took her back the followin' mornin'. An', Rae, she uses good words, too, it's not like havin' a conversation with a three year old.
Before Rae could answer her friend Jesse jumped in. "That's just what Miss Amy said. They don't teach, not properly, like in school, but she said that her vocabulary and her diction are good, above average for her age."
"Really? That's nice." Rae had been lying on the sofa, the journey home the previous day had worn her out, and the trip from the second floor to the breakfast room after a night's sleep seemed to have used up all her reserves of energy.
"But you didn't tell her your response." Steve was smiling, and Jo had known it was because they were together, the four friends, it was like it should be, well almost, when Rae was better then it would be almost perfect.
"Which was? Darlin', you can't just say that an' then not follow it through."
"I said that I put that down to her mother," Jesse said. "Rae's British and, well, she just seems to use a lot of words that we Americans usually don't, or something like that, I refuse to be misquoted!"
Steve had grinned then and unable to resist teasing shot back with, "Or it could be her father's influence. He just uses a lot of words...all the time."
Jo enjoyed the memory a moment more before going into the breakfast room. Eliana sat by her mother playing with a doll with wild hair and Rae was lying on the sofa, her feet tucked underneath a throw that reached up to her knees. Jo could tell that she was still suffering physically as well as mentally. "Hi, Sweetie, I love your dolly, Rae, Honey, how are you today?" Eliana smiled at her aunty and moved a little closer to her mom.
"Me? Oh, I'm fine, how about you?" The tone of Rae's voice, although faint, belied what she said, and Jo sat down next to her friend.
"I see, so you are just fine about every little thin', then?"
Rae turned her head towards the sofa back, her words becoming muffled as she did so. "No, but I should be, I'm trying real hard not to feel sorry for myself, but today, today I'm failing miserably."
"Why, why today? It's gonna be great, Amanda an' Ron are finally gettin' married, the sun is shinin' an' your little girls are gonna be the sweetest bridesmaids anyone ever saw." Again Jo looked at her goddaughter, and this time she blew the child a kiss.
"And it should be me getting them ready … rushing around after them at the church … enjoying their every moment with them … but I can't even go upstairs to help without running out of air and … having to sit down and try and take in deep breaths."
"Ok, I'll give you that, it is a special day an' I know you want to be as involved as you can be, but feelin' sorry for yourself won't get you anywhere. You are gonna have to sit back, let everyone else fuss over your girls an' just bask in their glory as a proud mom."
"In other words, get over it and get on with the day?" Rae smiled, "I know I should, and I probably will when we get there." She paused, consciously taking a necessary but painful breath, "I don't like feeling this way, somehow, because it's affected my breathing, it's worse than anything that has happened before, and … I have to use the chair, I hate having to use a wheelchair."
Jo thought for a moment, she had seen Rae struggle for air, not because her lungs were irreversibly damaged but because they were still mending and it hurt to move as well as breathe. She had also seen the panic in her friend's eyes over the last three days, as she had to fight to keep control of herself. As she looked into Rae's sad face now she saw tiredness, and a melancholy which, she had a feeling, wouldn't just disappear unless there were things to look forward to which Rae could join in with. An idea began to form in Jo's mind and she began to speak. "Why don't you an' Jesse take the girls away after New Year? I know we have your party comin' up, but once that has happened, an' Santa has been, why don't you go on vacation, just the four of you? You have Vicki now to take care of the house, an' Steve an' I are just down the road. You don't have to go very far, just a little way up the coast." Jo could see that the idea appealed to her friend and she smiled.
"Mommy says Santa come to my house. I haf to be good girl an' I get pwesents, an' Neya too."
"Y'know, I'm hopin' he'll come to my house as well. If I'm a good girl." Jo held her hands out and Eliana finally came for a hug.
Rae had been thinking, but now she spoke about Jo's idea. "That would be fun. Just the four of us, like you said, and I'm off work for at least another six weeks."
"Good, that's settled then. Now, what are you wearin' to this here shindig?" Jo stood up, putting Eliana onto the floor as she did so and then watched the little girl clamber back up next to her mommy. Jo was still in her jeans and a white t-shirt, but she had a yellow dress with a little jacket hanging on the door of one of her closets just waiting for her to slip into when she returned home. She was almost four months pregnant now, and had the wonderful healthy bloom of someone who had entered the middle trimester with no problems or worries. She was seeing either Mark or Jesse every two weeks, and they were keeping a close eye on her blood pressure, but so far everything was going according to plan.
"I have a creamy coffee coloured trouser suit upstairs that I don't think any of you have seen before. I bought it when I had a spare afternoon a while ago; it's a lovely suit, but not precinct wear!" Rae paused again, speaking and breathing hurt, she needed to concentrate on both of them separately. "I can't wear a skirt, not in that chair."
"You wouldn't wear a skirt anyway." Jo smiled as Rae did the same. "Well, if you want me to help you I will, do you want to have a nap for a while, an' I will see to Eliana? Give her a bath, do a little pamperin' an' preenin' with her, an' then braid her hair before we go?" Amanda had asked that Eliana and Anneya have their hair plaited around their heads with flowers interwoven into it afterwards. First of all a hairdresser was going to come and do it for Rae, but Jo had been sure that with a little practice she could do it herself and, after a few false starts she was now totally in control.
Rae had watched Eliana prancing up and down the hallway just after she had returned home from the hospital looking at herself in the mirror to see her hair, plus every piece of clear glass she could find for the rest of the day. She had loved the feeling of her Aunty Jo playing the brush and the comb through her curls, and Rae knew that she would be doing the same things herself before too long.
Anneya's hair was different to Eliana's, so fine and flyaway that, in the end, they had given up trying to braid it and she was having it curled into little ringlets, with a headband covered in flowers worn in it. The ringlets would probably only last five minutes, but she too liked the attention, and sat, her eyes firmly on the looking glass, as Jo brushed and curled her hair for her.
"I am going to stay here; I don't want to go upstairs." Rae's voice took on an almost unpleasantly spoilt tone.
"Oh, no you don't! I know that Alex has told you that you need to rest every day, but that if you want to sleep you have to climb the stairs first. Honey, I also know it hurts to breathe deeply but you have to otherwise you won't get better. Eliana an' I will walk up with you, an' besides, if you do this now, you won't have to wear yourself out before your shower."
"I hate it when you're so sensible. Can't you be silly and frivolous … and let me sleep downstairs?"
"Nope, now are you going, or do I have to chase you?" Jo smiled and took Eliana's hand into her own. The little girl stood quietly, she seemed almost shy at the moment, but then she'd had a difficult month or so herself and even three year olds worried about the things going on around them.
"With you in your condition and me in mine it would be a pretty slow chase!" Rae got to her feet and began to walk towards the stairs, almost immediately she was short of breath and once again she felt her feelings of anger and vulnerability rise, battling with the panic to take control of her.
"Careful, I'll give you a head start, you have nothin' to prove to me, or to anyone else, an' I have all day, well, until we have to leave anyway."
"Just because … you don't want me … to win." Rae smiled; she stood still for a moment before she carried on towards the stairs, and the feeling of her friend's free hand as she placed it under her elbow was both welcomed and reassuring.
ooo
Jesse sat on the bed in his room and ran his hand over his eyes. Anneya had dropped off to sleep almost the instant her head hit the mattress and even though she would only get about an hour's rest it would be enough for her to enjoy her afternoon. At least he hoped it would.
The temper tantrums had begun just after Rae had been injured, it was almost as if it had taken her that long to realise that she no longer heard what was going on, her mommy wasn't where she should be and suddenly all hell broke loose. The first indication that things had changed for the worse had been the day that Jesse had come home from Santa Barbara, desperate to see his children even though Rae was still seriously ill, and he had also picked up some things to take back that Rae would need.
Anneya had been sitting on the mat in the morning room of Jo and Steve's house, a small jigsaw, two books and a drink of milk in front of her. She had quietly and thoughtfully collected all her things up, and was sitting, enjoying the anticipation of playing with them. Jesse had been almost lost in her expression, for the first time since she had been so ill his little girl looked at peace. The puzzled expression was missing, she was happy just being where she was, doing what she was doing.
Eliana had been sitting with Jesse on his lap but now she got down and sat next to her sister, reaching over as she did so to take one of the books. That was when the quietness exploded. Anneya screamed, grabbed the book back and pushed Eliana hard, the elder girl falling backwards and striking her head against the carpeted floor. Both children were then screaming and crying, although Anneya had been collecting up her possessions as well and leaving no one in any doubt as to how she felt about them, and for a moment Jesse, Steve and Jo, who had been with him had been too stunned to do anything.
If Jesse was honest Anneya wasn't the only one who'd had a temper tantrum that day. He had been sitting with his wife for almost four days, she was still on the ventilator because of the infection she had picked up, and when he had seen Steve, before going to spend time with his daughters, his feelings of frustration, anger and helplessness finally boiled over and he'd lashed out at the only friend he knew he could yell at and still keep.
"Hey, Jess, I've got a couple of cards from the station for you to take back with you." Jesse guessed that Steve had seen his car on the driveway of Oak Place and finished his afternoon jog by running into the front yard of the house and knocking on the door.
"Oh, thanks, I'll pick them up when I'm done here. I'll be round to see the girls." He had turned away, his feelings suddenly escalating, not wanting to say anything more, knowing that if he did then his anger, which he thought he had dealt with, would escape, and he didn't know if he would be able to restrain himself.
"Want me to wait? We can go round together?"
"No, not really." He'd closed his eyes, that hadn't been the best thing to have said, and as Jesse knew he would, Steve sounded concerned as he answered.
"Jesse, what's the matter?"
"What's the matter? How can you ask me that?"
"Um, because I don't know. Why you don't want me to stay?"
"Steve, I'll see you at your place, ok? I'm busy, I'm tired and I just want to get back to Santa Barbara."
"You're going back tonight?" Steve had sounded amazed; Jesse realised that his friend had thought that he would at least spend the night with his children.
"Yes, I'm going back tonight, my wife is seriously injured, in case you'd forgotten!"
"No, Jess, I hadn't forgotten, but I think maybe you're right, I'll see you later." Steve had moved away as he had spoken, and Jesse, his temper still on a full boil, had yelled at him.
"Gonna leave me too, huh? Why am I not surprised?"
"What?" Steve's voice was full of the amazement he felt and, as Jesse had watched his friend turn back to him, he hadn't been able to stop himself from continuing.
"You left Rae, let her go off on her own, and now she's lying in a strange hospital, in the ICU, still seriously ill, because you didn't see any danger."
The effect had been instantaneous; Steve had backed away, from both his words and the venom they had contained. "Jesse, I … I'm sorry."
"Yeah, right, sorry doesn't help though, does it? It doesn't save Rae from the agony she is gonna have to go through before she's better again. You have a partner for a reason, so that you can work together, together!"
Steve had repeated himself "I'm sorry, I'll see you later, Jess, I have to go." And then he had left, and Jesse, too angry to stop him, had watched without any remorse as his best friend almost staggered from his house under the weight of the accusations he had made.
Jesse shook his head as if trying to rid himself of the memories once and for all. They had haunted him ever since but he hadn't mentioned it to Steve again, and he knew that Rae hadn't spoken to her partner about it either. Pushing the thoughts away from him Jesse found his mind travelling over the time Rae had spent in the hospital, he had thought he would be able to forget about that too, once she got home, but somehow, now that he was no longer living it, the nightmare was even stronger.
The ICU had been quiet, the clock on the wall showing a little after two in the morning of the fifth day since Rae had been injured. He had arrived back from Beverly Hills an hour before, and had been sitting quietly ever since. He had tried to shift the memory of the look on Steve's face as he sat next to Jo watching him play with his children, but he couldn't, even the fact that Doctor Perry had left a note saying that her sedation level had been reduced to gradually bring her round, and if that was successful he would consider beginning the process to wean Rae off the ventilator, hadn't lifted his spirits.
He looked at her face, and was amazed to see that she was lying there staring at him, not moving, just looking. "Rae, oh, Baby, oh, God." He hadn't known what else to say, and had fumbled around looking for the buzzer to call the nurse, then he had taken her hand into his and held it tightly until she had pulled it away. "Rae?"
Her senses dulled by the anaesthesia, she had tried to talk and he saw her struggle to understand why no sound came out.
"Honey, you're on a ventilator, shhh, it's ok." The panic had filled her eyes and she had tried to move her hands towards the tube that had replaced the mask after two days. "No, I know you don't like it, but you need it, please, promise me you won't struggle against it."
She had blinked slowly, and the movement had dislodged a tear, which slid down her cheek. The nurse came in at that moment and he quickly told her that Rae was awake, that he had missed seeing her come around, and Doctor Perry should be told. Unfortunately he'd been off duty, and a young doctor who Jesse had seen working the previous two evenings arrived around fifteen minutes after the nurse departed.
Once all the set tests had been carried out and notes entered on her chart the doctor had left and Jesse and Rae had been alone again. Rae had drifted off to sleep before the doctor, whose name Jesse had noticed was Doctor Heraldez, had arrived, but had been woken as he had worked on her. The fear in her eyes as she had felt his hand pick up hers to manually take her pulse, without a word of introduction or explanation, had almost broken his heart, and the urge to take over and treat her himself had been even stronger when Doctor Heraldez had disconnected the machine so that he could suction out the secretions in her mouth. Rae had gagged and he'd had to hold her hands down so that she didn't panic and move while she was being treated. The tears had fallen silently, as Rae tried to relax, but she couldn't breathe unaided and had found it impossible. Once he had finished, and Rae was back on the machine, Doctor Heraldez had suggested using paralysing drugs if her panic continued. This had caused Rae to stiffen under his touch and after he had told the young medic that he didn't think that would be necessary, and now was neither the time nor place to discuss it, Jesse had soothed her for a few minutes before to his delight he had felt her touch his fingers and he knew that she was coming out of her anxiety attack. Once the other doctor had left Jesse had just smiled at his wife and smoothed her hair gently, saying nothing, but knowing that he didn't need to. The silence hadn't bothered Jesse, he had been happy to sit and feel the warmth of Rae's hand in his own, but gradually her eyelids had begun to droop and he had smiled at her. "You go off to sleep; I promise I'll be here when you wake up, ok?" She had closed her eyes on the world almost immediately and Jesse had known that she was no longer aware of anything.
He too had slept, on and off, for over seven hours, only really concentrating on what was going on around him when Rae was again checked and her tube changed, she had tried so hard not to panic and Jesse had been very proud of her. When Rae had woken up properly he had been sitting watching her, he'd seen her eyes flicker before opening, and had been able to call Doctor Perry who arrived before she was completely conscious.
The tests had been done again, but this time Rae had been a lot more aware, both of her surroundings and the agony she was in. Her pain medication had been reduced since the last check up three hours earlier, so that the ventilator could maybe have its settings changed, but for a while Doctor Perry had just watched, listening to what Jesse told him and looking at his patient to see how she appeared to be coping.
Jesse had let the doctor know what he did for a living just after Steve and Amanda had left on the first day. They had talked a few times since about the differences in their two hospitals, and Jesse had been impressed by the competence that the other man showed.
It had been another twenty-four hours before Doctor Perry began to change the settings on the ventilator and Rae had found it very hard. She had struggled with the knowledge that she would have to be disconnected from the machine regularly so that she could have the secretions suctioned from her mouth and throat, and when the ventilator's functions were changed so that she was the one controlling the breathing she began losing control again. The fact that she was now in charge had worried her, Rae had known that if she was breathing regularly the machine did nothing, but it would cut in if she struggled. That knowledge hadn't helped her though. With it she knew she could breathe, without it she panicked which made her breath shallow and that made her panic even more and the entire weaning process had been painful and traumatic for them all. The lung infection hadn't helped either, and it was only the threat of her not being able to be moved to Community General which had made her finally succeed in getting off the hated, but needed, machine.
ooo
John Masters looked at the picture on the dining room table and then at the telephone next to it. He dealt with complex decisions every day, this was no different. He shook his head, who was he kidding? Of course it was different, this was family.
Melina Edwards had been charged with the first-degree murder of Elizabeth Masters, as well as the attempted murder of Rae Yeager. The Chief had visited with Rae, sat at her bedside and watched the machines breathing for her, wondering the entire time what had possessed her to go willingly into a room with a murderer. Something must have happened to make his detective realise that Melina Edwards was guilty, but his daughter-in-law wasn't saying, and so they all had to wait for Rae to wake up. Once she was conscious again Rae hadn't wanted to speak about it, not until she was back at Community General Hospital, where he guessed she felt safer, more at home, and where, one afternoon, she had asked for her boss to come and visit with her when he was free, and he had found himself sitting in a room full of machinery where she had told him her story.
The oxygen mask was right by Rae's hand, and he had known that she still needed it to function. He had learnt from the reports Steve Sloan gave him that although it was now two weeks since the shooting she had only just been able to start coping without the machine breathing for her constantly. There was fear in her eyes, coupled with a sadness and weariness that only came from seeing the bad or troublesome side of life. He had brought flowers with him; he had seen them for sale in the lobby and purchased some pink roses, hoping that she would like them.
"Thank … you. They're lovely." Her voice was croaky, as if she smoked sixty cigarettes a day, and she coughed, the pain rushing across her face as she did so, and he saw her holding herself, her arms across her ribs to try, he imagined, to contain the pain. Her husband had been immediately at her side, the mask in his hand as he waited to help.
He got right to the point, knowing that small talk was beyond her as well as him. "Lieutenant Sloan is unable to tell me why you were injured, just that you thought Melina Edwards had killed Elizabeth." He had paused then for a moment, wondering if her husband knew who Elizabeth had been. "I will record your words, so you don't have to repeat yourself." The small tape recorder rested on his lap and he switched it on as he spoke again. "Can you tell me what happened?"
"The … tape." She had closed her eyes for a moment, and her knuckles whitened on her hand.
"What tape?"
"The … bank tape. I thought, we thought … it was a man. He … he, no, she … she cracked her … neck." Rae shook this time as she began to relate for the first time what had happened. Doctor Travis had moved to a chair on the other side of the room, sitting there so as not to interfere, but he moved forward, and just gently placed his hand over hers.
"Ok, steady. Take your time, in and out, slowly and deeply. I know it hurts, but it's the best way." The room had been silent for a minute or two as his officer had used the oxygen mask and gradually begun to relax again, and he had realised that she was scared.
"I told Steve, I … didn't know … he looked … explained … the killer … cracked his neck. Horrid, horrid thing to do. But … we … we were … wrong … it was … a … woman. In the kitchen, she did it." For a second Rae had looked away, unable to make eye contact with either her husband or himself.
"Detective?" His voice had been business-like; he had known instinctively that sympathy wouldn't be appreciated.
"I accused her … I suddenly knew, it was her. She … she tricked me and … and." Rae's hand had moved to her chest, her breathing had become ragged and Doctor Travis had put the mask over his wife's face again.
"Chief Masters, I really don't think that she can tell you any more, not right now. It needs to wait until she's stronger. When she is home."
"A moment, Doctor, a moment. Detective, what did she do?"
Rae had still been trying to calm herself again, and so he had waited, needing the information, the words from her lips."
"She … she shot me, said she … she would say I panicked her. She … meant … to … kill … me." The final words had been harder than all the rest and he had seen Doctor Travis take a deep breath himself.
"That is enough, surely?"
"Yes, yes, I quite agree. Thank you, thank you, Doctor. Detective, I'm sorry to have upset you, but I will get your statement typed up and ask you to sign it. We can talk again when you are feeling better."
That conversation hadn't taken place yet, but the short statement he had taken in the hospital had been enough to charge Melina Edwards with murder. It had also been enough for him to hope for a future with his son and grandson, and so after he had given them a few days to sort themselves out a little mentally he had made contact with them, speaking to Mr Edwards on the phone two days ago, and travelling back to Santa Barbara the previous day.
He had purposely put the radio onto a talk station for the journey to Santa Barbara, wanting the chatter to occupy his mind so that he didn't ponder and contemplate things too much as the miles passed. The trip had seemed far shorter than usual though, and before he was ready he had been drawing up outside a very nice house in a peaceful suburban street. He knew that he was expected, but he had no idea of how he would be accepted because he hadn't informed Mr Edwards of the purpose of his visit.
The walk up the drive was uneventful, apart from the loud beating of his heart, but as he got to the door the curtain in the first window moved and he saw the outline of a small child looking out.
The noise of the bell sounded and then the door opened. The person he had longed to see was standing there looking like he had as a young man. There was no denying to anyone that Callum Edwards was his son, and all sorts of emotions began fighting to be released. He had seen the softness of his wife's features around the man's eyes, but there, standing in front of him, was a youthful version of himself.
"Um, hi, can I help you?" Callum Edwards had looked at him, intently, but he hadn't said anything else.
"Yeah, my name is John Masters, I called you?"
"Masters?" There had been confusion in his son's voice, and he had felt the need to explain himself a little more.
"I'm the Chief of Police for Los Angeles." He handed over his ID to back up his claim.
"Oh, right, did you say your name before? Oh, sorry, you'd better come in." The journey to the living room had been undertaken in silence, and then he had seen him and for a moment the years had rushed away and he was in London, on the floor playing with a child who looked almost identical to this one. The little boy was playing with a train set. The track, the train, even the floor had all been wooden, with a bridge and a slope down to a station. The small red engine had been pushed over the summit and it rushed towards the ground, accompanied by the whoo whoo sounds of the child.
"Simon, shhh." Callum had indicated with his hand for the Chief to sit.
"I … I'm sorry we have to be in here, but, well, I can't leave him alone."
John had known that he was staring at the boy; in fact he couldn't keep his eyes off him, and had to drag his attention back to what Callum was saying.
"No, of course, I quite understand. How … how are you coping?"
"Fine, we're fine, aren't we?" The young man had reached over and tousled his son's hair, getting a beaming smile in response.
"Good, good."
"I don't wish to appear rude, but could you tell me why you're here? I know you're the Chief of Police, but you don't visit every victim of crime in the city I don't think, and you said your name was Masters. My birth mother's name was Masters. Were you related to her?"
"In a way."
John Masters sat down on his sofa. The admission that he was the father of Callum Edwards had been easier than he had imagined it would be. Telling the young man how they had split up and lived separate lives for so long was a relief, but telling him about the present and the knowledge that he had put two of the best cops he had on the case to find out who murdered his wife, realising later that they may have to arrest a child he hadn't know existed, that had been hard, very hard.
They had arranged to speak today, to decide what to do next, and John Masters found that he was scared; scared to pick up the phone and dial in case his son told him he wanted nothing to do with him. There was a cup of hot coffee next to the piece of paper with Callum's telephone number on it, and for a minute or two he pondered his situation whilst drinking it down, then, taking a deep breath and trying to prepare himself mentally for what was to come, he picked up the receiver and punched in the number.