All right... for some reason FFNet decided that chapter 4 is another file than the one I had planned to upload. For everyone who has read chapter 4 already, this is the real one. THere's so much still missing in the story and due to the smooth change-over no one noticed ;)

Have fun reading this one.

--Macx--

Blue-gray eyes regarded him thoughtfully, and Touda felt them rest on him, making him itch.

"What?" he finally snapped, closing his book with a slam.

"I was just wondering..." Sohryu said levelly, not the slightest bit impressed by his temper.

They were currently sitting at their desk, supposed to repeat the lesson Rikugo had held this morning, but something seemed to have bothered the dragon all day, making him that inattentive that the young astrologer had needed to admonish him-- twice.

"About what?"

"Uhm - have you ever...?"

"Ever what? Spill it, lizard."

"Have you ever... kissed someone?"

Touda blinked in surprise.

"As often as you, I suppose. Why, do you ... ?" And then it occurred to him-- and Touda started to grin broadly. "Sohryu! Who is it? Akiko?"

Touda had sent an adolescent glance or two toward the daughter of Araki himself. Sohryu shook his head. "Then Izumi? Mariko? C'mon, they're not that many more choices."

"There's one more."

Touda frowned, trying to figure out what Sohryu could possibly mean. Turning he found his friend was looking at him again, intensively this time. And then Sohryu leaned over slowly, cautiously, tentatively his friend for ten years brought their lips together, brushing over his, warm, soft, gentle...

Touda gasped.

And Sohryu pulled back immediately, looking a little more than just shell-shocked about what he had just done. Before Touda could react, his friend had already left.

Touda found Sohryu in his room way after dinner. The dragon looked a little uncomfortable but met his gaze head on.

"Sohryu, what was that all about this afternoon?"

"I'm sorry if I upset you, Touda. It's just... it's how I feel, how I feel about you. If you don't... hmpf..."

Sohryu couldn't say anything more because something was silencing him effectively. It were Touda's lips pressed onto his firmly.

Touda chuckled with the memory of his very first kiss.

Clumsy, awkward, their first steps into the more romantic side of adulthood all gawky. Yes, they had stumbled into it all right, and it had lasted almost two years from the first kiss to the first time he had heard Sohryu's breathy moans while his release had spilled into his hand. For someone who would come to get to know Sohryu now it would be impossible to believe that the dragon was indeed a very sensuous creature. Sohryu loved beautiful things, and he could turn his entire attention toward such things – especially in bed. Especially when they had been in the stage of exploring and discovering – about themselves, about their bodies, about their reaction toward each other.

It turned out that the dragon could be really demanding, but he was experimental as well. They had shared lots of nights, cuddled together after having touched and kissed each other to the limit, sometimes falling asleep like that, as sated as a teenager's body could be.

Sohryu had been his first, Touda mused. And he had been his.

Touda bucked under Sohryu's caressing hands, feeling the dragon's tongue around his hardness, fingers stroking, exploring, and he couldn't help the deep moan that escaped his throat. Something was different tonight, Sohryu had something on his mind, but he knew his lover well enough to wait and see-- especially now, especially when Sohryu was spending his focused attention on his body like that... oh gods, yes, exactly like that...

"Sohryu..." Touda moaned, spreading his legs wider, a silent plea for... something...

His insides were coiled tighter than an aggressive rattlesnake, his breath was coming in harsh pants, and his muscles were quivering with his approaching completion, when-- Sohryu stopped. Just like that.

"'Ryu! What the hell is wrong, lizard?"

Sohryu's tall form stretched out over him, long blue hair tickling his sweat slick skin and making him shiver, hardness brushing against hardness, and Touda's hips twitched involuntarily. Sohryu pressed their lips together, demanding entrance and was met with vigour.

"Damn, Ryu..." Touda breathed, feeling himself come down a little.

"Touda... I... uhm..."

Uh-oh, that he knew. As demanding and wild as Sohryu could be as insecure he could be when he wanted something which he wasn't sure his partner would like. Touda cradled his lover's face in his hands, planting a short reassuring kiss on his lips.

"What do you want?"

"You."

"Didn't expect anything else."

"No, I... I want you, Touda. All the way..."

Touda became very still. Of course he had thought about this, had thought about going all the way, fantasized about it, had even tried to find some information about the ‘how' in the library - and had needed a large book to cover his fronts afterwards, pretending not to see Rikugo cocking one eyebrow in slight amusement about his embarrassment. The description in the book had been rather explicit and it had made the teenager's fantasy run wild. And he knew sooner or later one of them would speak about it out loud, and they would have to make a decision.

Now.

"Touda, if you don't want to I .. ."

"Sshhh," Touda shushed his lover with another deep kiss, running his hands over Sohryu's back and deeper until he felt the other boy shiver into his caress.

"I want you, too... " he whispered, slightly shocked about his own reaction to the finally openly spoken words. Yes, he wanted Sohryu, more than he had believed.

"Do you know what to do?"

"We'll figure it out. Besides, I read up on it."

Touda burst out laughing which earned him a confused look.

"Me, too."

Blue eyes widened slightly.

"So you..."

"I gave it some thought, too. And now," Touda purred, slipping a hand between their bodies, smiling when he saw Sohryu's eyes close and heard his lover's breath hitch "where were we?"

Yes, their first time ... it was so long ago, but Touda still remembered. Remembered the pain at first, the alien feeling of something big enter him, but his body had adjusted-- and he'd never forget the feeling then, nor the way Sohryu had looked or sounded. Touda sighed and put the book back to its place onto the shelf. The dragon had lost it completely back then, for the first time, too-- turned out Sohryu was not only demanding but a real wildcat in bed.

One last barrier still remained between them, though – Touda's second form. Even at the age of eighteen, closing on nineteen, he hadn't ever changed his shape again.

And it had been pressing more and more on his mind.

Part of Touda knew he was being stupid. He was a young man now, he knew all there was to know about shikigami and their forms, but the child inside him cringed away from the final truth, from facing the creature he truly was.

Now that his relationship with Sohryu had become closer, that they were more than just good friends since childhood, the weight of what he truly was lay heavily on Touda. His other form was truly hideous, a creature of hell, and he didn't want his friend to know about it.

But Sohryu trusted him.

And Touda didn't want to lose that friendship.

Still...

The young man buried his head in his hands with a groan.

They had slept with each other, they had been as close they could be, he had felt the kisses, the touches, the warmth of his lover, and he had done the same. After years of just fooling around they had gone all the way. And they had repeated the first time.

Touda felt good with Sohryu.

What do I do? he thought desperately.

There was no one to answer him.

The honorable thing would be to tell the truth, no matter the outcome. No matter... It would be worse if Sohryu found out from someone other who might recognize Touda's growing aura and tell the dragon.

It would be like a betrayal.

All he had learned from Genbu, from the books and texts, told the young shikigami what he had to do. It didn't still the fear raging through him.

He trusts me, he thought again and again. I trust him. Why hesitate?

Because I'm a horrifying thing. And I might lose more than his friendship over this. I might lose... everything...

"So, why did you ask me to come here?" Sohryu asked curiously.

Touda looked a this childhood friend, fighting down the urge to just call it a joke and lie to him.

Honor, he reminded himself.

He wanted to become a great warrior, serve the elder Sohryu, maybe become a general one day when he was powerful enough, and to lie now... No. He would tell the truth.

It had taken him more than two weeks to finally make up his mind, fretting over all the possible outcomes, and in the end he had done what the books had taught him. He would stand there in front of Sohryu, tell him the truth and take what would come like a man. He would not surrender to his fear!

"You remember when you asked me about what I turn into?" he wanted to know.

Sohryu nodded. "Yeah. You ran away. I talked to my father after that and he told me to leave it alone."

"And you did."

"Yep."

"But you're curious."

Sohryu shrugged. "Sure. I mean, you were so scared. But I'm not asking you to."

"I want to," Touda said softly.

The dragon blinked, then his mouth dropped open. "Touda...?"

"I trust you, Sohryu. I want you to know. I just... please don't... that you won't..." Touda hesitated. "Please don't be scared..."

"Why would I be scared? I turn into a dragon and I've seen my dad, and I've seen Rikugo."

"I'm not a dragon," Touda whispered, not looking at his friend.

"You've got dragon eyes."

He swallowed. Yes, the golden, slit eyes. Not dragon eyes... serpentine.

"I'm... not," he repeated, trying not to lose his bravery. "Promise me, Sohryu," he repeated.

"I won't be afraid." Sohryu smiled at him, calm, warm and reassuring.

And Touda initiated a change which he hadn't gone through for more than a decade. He felt his body stretch, his senses change, wings unfold, and muscles coil in his sinewy body. Serpentine eyes opened and looked at his friend, fear and apprehension mixing in them.

Sohryu gazed at him, eyes wide, mouth open. Touda was already rather big, about the size Sohryu had as a dragon, but he wasn't one. He was a snake. A hideously black, large snake with a feathery neck, a beak, and leathery wings. When he had looked into that puddle, had seen that horror, Touda had been scared of himself. He had never seen a shikigami like that and his father's fear had transferred onto him. Lately, all that knowledge about a shikigami's power and his own powers, which were developing quite fast these days, had made it even worse.

"Wow..." Sohryu breathed.

He walked closer and Touda tried not to flinch back as his friend reached out to touch him.

"Sohryu..."

And then the five-fingered hand rested against the black scales. It stroked over the muscular form and Touda started to tremble.

"You're beautiful," Sohryu whispered.

No, he was a horror.

"No," he murmured.

"You are." The hand continued stroking. "You're a beautiful serpent, Touda. There's nothing to be ashamed of, to be scared of."

"There's nothing like this anywhere," Touda protested weakly.

"You're unique then."

He lowered his head. "No..."

"Yes." The hand on his scales felt so good, so wonderful, so calming. "You're my friend, Touda. You look great."

Touda raised his head and froze when he looked into a pair of cool blue eyes across the expanse of the yard. He couldn't move, he couldn't breathe, he just couldn't... do anything any more.

Sohryu, the Protector of the East, his best friend's father, was looking at him from across the yard.

He saw him.

He saw the hideous creature he had taken in as a child.

He saw the horror his son was touching.

The horror he slept with-- though Touda was sure the elder Sohryu didn't know about it.

And he tried to run.

"Touda."

The voice was sharp, cutting through the air, paralyzing him in place before he could fully spread his wings. Quivers raced through him and the serpent's length curled up, trying to be smaller than he actually was in his not yet fully grown state.

"Father..." Sohryu started.

The elder dragon walked up to them and suddenly found his own son standing between the black, winged serpent and himself.

Blue eyes met serpentine ones and Touda felt his insides clench. He knew he was a monster, a horrible miscreation, and he knew now why his father had abandoned him as a child. He had been told that his father had left him here because he couldn't take care of him, because he was poor, but growing up around so many books, with Genbu and Rikugo as teachers, with so much knowledge about shikigami and their powers, the teenager had begun to understand what the child hadn't been able to. And the young adult he was now understood quite clearly that he was a creature with hellish power, a monster, an abnormality.

His powers were developing in leaps, and he knew they were dangerous. He had been aware of Genbu watching him, and while Rikugo had never used those other eyes to Look into him, Touda could tell the astrologer was quite sure of what was to come.

He was a freak.

And he was friends with Sohryu, who now knew what he was. Just like Sohryu's father.

Blue eyes in a serene, emotionless face that gave nothing away ran over his body and Touda ducked more. A fear he had only felt as a child when he had thought he would be cast out for throwing mud at the elder Sohryu raced through him.

"Took you long enough," the dragon rumbled.

He blinked. The neutral features suddenly melted into an expression of approval.

"You're going to be a strong warrior one day, Touda."

He was speechless, still curled up in defense, and the shock of those words was mind-numbing.

"A warrior accepts all his strengths and weaknesses, son," the elder Sohryu went on. "He trains in all forms of physical and mental combat. And we, as shikigami, need to train all our physical forms."

A small smile twitched at those lips and Touda was stunned. Then the highest of the four Gods turned and walked across the yard, disappearing inside the building.

A tremor raced through Touda.

He felt a hand touch his scales and looked at his best friend. Sohryu was smiling at him, warm and reassuring and happy.

"He's right, y'know," the dragon said softly. "We have two forms and denying one freedom, letting it wither and weaken, is not meant to be. You're beautiful, Touda. You're not a monster. Anyone who can't see that is blind. If you want to, we can train together. I bet you can fly." There was a little grin.

"I don't know," he murmured.

"How about we find out?"

And then there was a young, blue scaled dragon rising in front of him, eyes glinting, wings outstretched.

"Let's fly!"

And he was off into the sky.

Touda followed the lithe, beautiful creature with his eyes, then felt an answering thrill run through him.

Fly.

Yes, he wanted to fly.