((Probably the last of these drabbles I'll do. Warnings: Alcohol, swearing. A bit too long, but what can you do. Written in ten minutes- quick fic, yo. Xander/Anya))
"I still love her, you know."
"Ain't that always the way of it, though?"
"No, I meant- No, you don't get it. You have to understand- you have to get it, I had to leave. Sometimes… sometimes that's what love is, I think. Leaving. M'parents, they never got that, right? Screwed me up pretty good, too. He'd drink, and shout, and she'd scream and cry. Every night they'd start, and I would listen to it… All night, until I had to sneak over to Willow's house at two in the morning to catch some sleep. And I wished so hard, so many times, that they'd either make up or just get a fucking divorce. Hell, they couldn't stand each other! Couldn't stand me, too much like my dad for mom, too much like mom for dad. And I asked her, one night, I asked why she didn't leave, if she hated my dad so much.
"She said, she couldn't leave- you have to stay with people, if you love them. I mean, what the fuck, right? 'I love you, so let's make each other miserable'. I can't… do that to anyone. She doesn't get it, I know I hurt her, man, I wish I didn't have to hurt her, but it was the only way.
"Only did it 'cause I love her, so much…"
Spike raised an eyebrow as Xander swayed gently on the bar stool, blinking owlishly.
"…You pass out, mate, I'm payin' my tab outta your wallet."
"Damn..." He did anyways.