Disclaimer: Me. Own. InuYasha? HA! That's rich, tell me another.
Author Notes: reveals herself from a garbage dump in some undiscovered suburban area, currently starving to death Pssst, hey you? Yea I'm talking to you! Come back here! Spare me a piece of food, I'm dying here! Come back here you useless, pathetic, worthless son of a—
GASP!
These are my readers I'm raging on, my most humble apologies you very nice, nice people.
I'm baack, and I'm here in full gear, and as promised, here is a humor fic of InuYasha, but I must warn you, Miroku's usually perverted thoughts have its limits………
…………………but not in my story.
Unmistakable Realizations
"HOUSHI-SAMA! GET BACK HERE!"
"Sango you must not take matters so drastically, you and I both know that--,"
"If you think for one minute I'll even take your load of bull into reconsideration, you got a lot of nerve!"
"But Sango I--,
SLAP
"Ow………."
As the formidable exterminator's slap echoed the three individuals, consisting of a foul-mouthed half-demon, a tempered priestess, and an annoying yet adorable little ruffian, in Miroku's opinion that is.
They all woke up, and put two and two together….
Sango. Hand. Miroku. Lechery. Morning. Slap
Didn't take a genius to forgive that one out……
Kagome grumbled something about 'not again' and 'I'm going to take a bath' which of course sparked the leech's interest, and Shippo hurriedly followed Kagome along, saying 'InuYasha is a big meanie' in a sing song voice. And InuYasha, well he was more action than emotions.
"Every fucking morning monk, every fucking morning!"
"I really don't need this InuYasha"
"And I really don't need some bitch slapping you either monk, though it is very tempting to resist" he retorted.
"It has got nothing to do with-
"Why don't you grope some bitch who doesn't slap so freakin' loud?"
"But you said Kagome was off-limits-,"
"She is!"
"Then who?"
"Get out of my face before I slap you myself monk"
And with that InuYasha left and literally flew into the tree's branch, mumbling something inaudible to the human ears.
Miroku gave a sigh, and decided to seek sanctuary in the camp site, away from a temptation, and away from a big-mouth lousy beast named InuYasha.
"Why must I have the foul curse of lechery?" he asked himself as he stared in to his kaza- naa free right hand, with a very detesting feeling.
"You have a gift my son," Mushin said one morning after being slapped by some very beautiful woman, "if you can see true beauty do not detest your gift, in fact embrace it"
He gave a thoughtful look, before giving a very InuYasha like scoff. Embracing his so-called gift caused him oh a couple million slaps, and thousand threats. Because of his gift, which was also passed on by a very leech-like ancestor, gave him a very horrible reputation to those that mattered.
Sango and Kagome more like it.
He gave another long sigh, before over-hearing a very feminine like voice:
"Again eh? Not surprised in the slightest"
"It's getting very tiring actually…."
"I know what you mean, if Miroku wasn't so lecherous I'd considered him potential"
"Potential? Seriously?"
"Yeah, but even then InuYasha wouldn't allow it"
The only thing he could grasp from the conversation was that he was potential, potential for what though?
"When I first saw him, I considered him a very holy man, how very ironic"
"Hmmmm, I though he was kind and I even sympathized him……"
"……..Not to mention handsome" both girls chorused, giggling rather school-girl like.
"Sango?"
"Hmm?"
"You know, if Miroku wasn't so disgusting, insufferable, antagonizing and not to mention perverted, would you, actually consider him potential?"
He heard a soft gasp, and a couple of splashes of water, and then it was dead silent.
He wondered what type of potential they were talking about, at least he was physically appealing…………………
"I don't know, maybe, I never really considered it."
Considered what?
"You guys would make such a good-,"
"But he really is sweet and kind, without any trace of perverted-ness whatsoever"
"Yea your right, he called me beautiful……"
………..every single time before he gropes ya"
There was another sigh and dead silence, which was slowly irritating him.
It felt so wrong violating there personal privacy, after all he was a monk for goodness sake, who respected the religious practices of Buddhism, and other stuff he couldn't really recall…………..
Sango had nice, round, firm,-
"I would never let him near me ever again!"
"Me too!"
"Good riddance, no more 'he will change', my weapon has suffered enough"
"And so has my voice"
He was too busy fantasizing that he only heard the end of their very interesting Miroku-related conversation.
"We should be going before it's our necks"
"Or our behinds, literally"
"Let me just stay here, for 10 minutes"
He only had this chance, he had to get in there, sneak a peek, and get out before they even noticed. After all, from what he's heard, the girls were obviously in love with him, and just needed a little 'persuasion'.
InuYasha looked asleep soundlessly, as Shippo continued to jump up and down, it was still a very interesting aspect why the little runt wasn't with Kagome and Sango. After all, the annoying kitsune was always following her around begging for her undivided attention.
It also was bugging him, why the fucking monk hasn't peeped at the woman yet? It wasn't like he wanted it to happen, (preferably, he didn't like no one touching Kagome), but it happened every god damn morning, so why not now?
He decided he had to make sure Kagome was alright, so he jumped off the tree, and started to run to the springs.
He hadn't even heard a scream.
It wasn't like Kagome actually liked him touching her………..
Nah!
However the thought made him run a couple million times faster.
Miroku pulled off his robes, with a very seductive grin on his face, and slowly made his way to the springs. He thought about the idea long and hard, okay 5 minutes, but it seemed the woman were clearly infatuated with him, and how can he refuse such very gorgeous fans?
Closing his wandering thoughts, he slowly slid into one side of the pool, with a nice, very nice, view.
Kagome seriously was 15 years old?!
Submerging his whole body underwater, he swam to the rocks a couple feet way from the two supposedly adoring fans.
All he needed now was a diversion……
"I wish he would just love us for being human, not woman"
"Hmm, I totally get it"
Well my dear Sango, your wish has come true, with a side of Miroku
Giving a very big splash of water, the girls quickly turned around to the source, but before they could comprehend, Miroku submerged once again and grabbed Kagome's waist.
"EEEEEAHHHHHHHH!"
"Kagome what is it!"
"Someone touched me!"
Sango gave a huff and pulled out her weapon in the shape of a boomerang, and quickly smashed it everywhere, and I mean everywhere.
"OW!"
"I knew it!"
"Miroku, you little, filthy---INUYASHA!"
Inuyasha, coming on cue, threw himself into the scene, until he saw 2 naked females, and a male.
Who knew that could throw a hanyou off balance?
SPLASH
"AHHHHH"
"SIT!"
"Bitch!"
"Sango, I thought you loved me?"
"LOVED YOU?!!"
"And Kagome, I though you said I was handsome!"
"Since when, Kagome?!"
"I, uh….."
"It thownk doesn't bang matter snap because slap you bonk are thump disgusting!"
"Sango, please, it is starting to hurt!"
"That's the point idiot!"
"You said he was handsome?!?!
"It wasn't you or Miroku's business!"
"Handsome?!? Are you fucking blind?!?!"
"I think you are, 'cause I'm naked here!"
"That's not the……ohhhhh……."
"SIT"
SLAM
"What was that for, wench?"
"For staring!"
"There's nothing to stare at!"
"SIT!"
"Bitch……."
While the commotion ensued, Miroku soon realized, for the first time in his very painful, Sango's contribution, life, he was in fact wrong. How he noticed, was the fact that these girls were beating him senseless, despite the fact that they said they loved him………..
Why is Sango blushing, was another mystery, maybe something to do the fact he was butt-naked.
At least, he was handsome.
Life was good.
Bonk
"That's for staring, leech!"
…….and painful.