Josh's Wonderful Life

By Isadora Quagmire

Disclaimer: "Wow. Like, none of it is, like, so totally mine!"

Yeah, sad but true. I don't even own the idea (if you couldn't tell, I ripped it off of the movie….but my style…; p)!

Spoilers: Up to and through Noel. That's it.

P.S. – I KNOW they're Jewish. Please leave the angel thing alone!

Chapter 1

"I wish I'd never been born."

Josh got up and walked over to his window. He lifted his hand to touch the plastic covering, but quickly pulled away. The faint melody of Ave Maria began to play. Josh shook his head to make it leave. Unsuccessful, he tried again.

"What are you doing?" a voice behind him asked.

Josh whipped around to find a young woman standing there. Dark brown hair cascaded down her shoulders, and bright brown eyes smiled back at him. "Ex-Excuse me?" he stuttered.

"Little brother, what the hell are you doing?" She said, folding her arms. Josh's jaw dropped. "What, you didn't recognize me?" she asked as she giggled. "I don't think I look that different, do I?"

"Joanie?" Josh whispered.

"The one and only!" she replied, bowing with a flourish. She smiled widely. "You probably want to know why I'm here."

Josh nodded.

"Well, you see. It's all your fault," she said. Josh paled at her words. Joanie walked over and draped an arm around his shoulder. "Oh, no, no, no Joshua. The fire wasn't your fault! No, little brother, you couldn't have done anything! It was not at all preventable! I'll show you!"

"Show me?" he asked, ducking out of her arm.

"Oh, silly me. Why do I have to be one goddamn step ahead of myself all the time? Since you wished you'd never been born, I'm here to show you what the world would be like without you."

"I bet it wouldn't be that different," Josh replied, running a hand through his hair.

"Okay, this is the part where you can be self-centered and tell me how the world revolves around you."

"Hey! I was never like that when I was younger!"

"You think since I'm kind of dead, I don't see what goes on in your life? Give me a break."

"Oh, this is fun. My deceased older sister can still reprimand me," he groaned.

"I'm not being bossy, I'm being helpful. Plus, I need my wings."

"You're not helpful, and what's with the wings?"

"Here, I'll be helpful: Ask Donna out." Josh blushed and Joanie smiled. "Now, with the wings thing: I'm not a full-on angel yet, but I will be after I help you."

"You just gave me advice. Where are your wings?"

"No, you idiot," she said, smacking him in the back of the head, "I need to really help you. I have to show you what the world would be like without you."

"Why?" he asked, rubbing his head.

"Because you're a jackass and you want to know what the world would be like without you, so cooperate!"

"I'll cooperate when you stop yelling at me!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Josh and Joanie sighed simultaneously. "In order for this to work, you've got to really want to see," Joanie whispered.

"I do," Josh replied, his voice shaking. "I was about to punch another hole in that window, and I think I'm beyond help."

Joanie's eyes widened. "Shouldn't you talk to someone else about this? I'm definitely not the right person. Depression, psychology…that's not my area of expertise."

"It's alright, Joanie. I'm just," taking a deep breath, he said, "I've just been a little stressed lately."

"Tell me about it," she chuckled softly.

"Alright," he whispered.

"That was figurative, Joshua."

"Right. I knew that."

"Sure."

"Y'know what? It's time."

"What?"

"It's time. I'm gonna show you what life would be like if you'd never been born. But first, I'm gonna take you outside."

"Why?"

"Because the initial change won't be so drastic if we're outside."

"Oh."

"What I mean is: some strange man won't have to chase us out of the apartment."

"Why would someone be in my -"

"It won't be your apartment anymore, little brother."

"Why?"

"Because you were never born," she said, snapping her fingers.