I sat in my seat just as the first period bell rang. The exact moment after
the ring, our English teacher, Mrs. Crawfish, slammed the door shut and
locked it behind her. As usual, Bruce was still out there in the hall
looking into the class thru the door's window.
I raised my hand. "What is it, Boggs?" Crawfish asked.
Clearing my throat I spoke. "Well, Mrs. Crawfish, I think Bruce is still outside and I don't think it would be fair to deprive him of the excellent education we are receiving in your classroom," some of the other monsters in the room laughed under their breath, until Mrs. Crawfish gave us all one of her ice cold glares. The whole room went silent.
"Well Mister Boggs," she began with a sneer, like a mighty dictator surveying a crowd, "perhaps you should keep him company out there. How's that sound?" Her eye twitched.
" Well, if you think that this decision is for the best, than I don't believe I have any objections," I always used my best behavior around Crawfish, not only did it give me a defense against her saying I was being disrespectful, but it also pissed her of even more.
As I said, Crawfish was now pissed, but I kept my cool. "Don't you get smart with me Boggs!" she began to yell, and when Crawfish yelled, it was like a thunder storm, loud and wet. Spit flew from her mouth like a water gun and her eye twitched even more.
"I'm not trying to get smart with you Mrs. Crawfish. I'm not yelling at you or using a smart tone. I'm speaking to you in a respectful tone." I sat in my seat, smiling innocently as I spoke.
"OUT! Get out of my classroom now or I'll call your mother!" Crawfish was now in one of her fanatical moods and I didn't feel like getting rained on anymore.
I left my stuff in my desk and started to walk out. "I'll come back for my stuff at the end of class."
"Out!" I had finally done it. After a grueling time of a minute and a half, I had snapped Crawfish's last nerve. She unlocked the door and I walked out.
"Mrs. Crawfish, uh, is now a bad time to ask if I can come in?" Bruce was also playing the "Send Crawfish to the loony bin game." And he was even better at it than I was. She glared at him, eye twitching, and slammed the door in his face.
I looked over at Bruce and smiled. "Told you it would work dude," Bruce grinned at me as he spoke.
"Yeah, you were right," I gave him a high five. "You wanna' go raid the snack machines?"
"Sure, sounds good to me. I could probably eat a human," he said with a smile. He always smiled. You'd smile too if you'd been stoned since the seventh grade.
"I don't want to picture that, Bruce!" we always liked to joke around, and now was no exception.
Bruce chuckled a little as we walked down the hall. "So, where's Greg?"
"Isn't that obvious? He's in class. He wouldn't cut if you paid him," I knew I was right.
Greg wouldn't have missed a class if you had just gotten shot in the head, needed to go to the hospital, and he was the only one there. I don't think he ever took off a sick day. Rumor was, his mom pushed him to overachieve. Sad really. One time he had to go to therapy for two weeks just because he made a B+!
A few minutes into our trek to the snack machine, we ran into Wallace Ingram. Wallace was the poster guy for Monstropolus High. He was the guy that I, personally looked up to. Yeah right!
He was in yearbook staff, spirit team, flag team, Future Achievers, Honor Society, School Softball team, Computer and Tech. Club, and any other school organization that could kiss the principal's ass. And, most importantly of all, he valiantly served our fine school as the hall monitor. All I have to do is think about him, and I'll start laughing my scaly ass off!
It was so pathetic, he roamed the halls aimlessly in his blue hat, and a bright-orange sash across his chest.
Other than the stupid wardrobe, Wallace was a large, snake/ lizard monster with some of the biggest muscles you'll ever see. He had a mouth packed with three rows of five-inch razor-sharp teeth. He had a five-foot tail, and horrific looking claws. He was intimidation incarnated.
Too bad, though, that he was a TOTAL wuss!
I looked over at Bruce and tried to stay calm, and not start rolling on the floor laughing. "Um, hiya Wally-boy."
He sneered. "Cut the bullcrap Boggs. Let's see the hall pass," He held out his clawed hand.
"My, what language!" I mumbled. Fortunately, Wallace was slightly hard of hearing.
Bruce spoke up, "What hall pass?"
Wallace sneered even more, "The hall pass you must possess to walk around these fine halls."
"Oh, that hall pass. Well, um." Bruce stood there looking up at the eight- foot tall hall monitor.
I held out my hand like I was going to stop him. "Hang on a sec Wally boy. Do you have a hall pass?" I asked him.
"No, I don't. What business is."
"Then what are you doing in the halls young man?" I wagged my finger at him. "For shame, a school official breaking the rules."
And as if it wasn't possible, his sneer got even larger. Now, even a dentist would think this was too much. "Boggs, I don't need one. I'M the hall monitor."
"Number one, my name's Val. And Number two, it's that orange sash you're wearing, isn't it? Is that where your whole source of authority is built upon?" Bruce had to choke back the tears of laughter for that one.
"Oh, so that's what it is!" I said with a grin. I used my newly developed blending skills and the next second, I had a bright-orange strips going across my chest. "Well, then I guess we can be moving along now."
Just then, I saw, coming around the corner, the one thing I didn't want to see, Sullivan!
I raised my hand. "What is it, Boggs?" Crawfish asked.
Clearing my throat I spoke. "Well, Mrs. Crawfish, I think Bruce is still outside and I don't think it would be fair to deprive him of the excellent education we are receiving in your classroom," some of the other monsters in the room laughed under their breath, until Mrs. Crawfish gave us all one of her ice cold glares. The whole room went silent.
"Well Mister Boggs," she began with a sneer, like a mighty dictator surveying a crowd, "perhaps you should keep him company out there. How's that sound?" Her eye twitched.
" Well, if you think that this decision is for the best, than I don't believe I have any objections," I always used my best behavior around Crawfish, not only did it give me a defense against her saying I was being disrespectful, but it also pissed her of even more.
As I said, Crawfish was now pissed, but I kept my cool. "Don't you get smart with me Boggs!" she began to yell, and when Crawfish yelled, it was like a thunder storm, loud and wet. Spit flew from her mouth like a water gun and her eye twitched even more.
"I'm not trying to get smart with you Mrs. Crawfish. I'm not yelling at you or using a smart tone. I'm speaking to you in a respectful tone." I sat in my seat, smiling innocently as I spoke.
"OUT! Get out of my classroom now or I'll call your mother!" Crawfish was now in one of her fanatical moods and I didn't feel like getting rained on anymore.
I left my stuff in my desk and started to walk out. "I'll come back for my stuff at the end of class."
"Out!" I had finally done it. After a grueling time of a minute and a half, I had snapped Crawfish's last nerve. She unlocked the door and I walked out.
"Mrs. Crawfish, uh, is now a bad time to ask if I can come in?" Bruce was also playing the "Send Crawfish to the loony bin game." And he was even better at it than I was. She glared at him, eye twitching, and slammed the door in his face.
I looked over at Bruce and smiled. "Told you it would work dude," Bruce grinned at me as he spoke.
"Yeah, you were right," I gave him a high five. "You wanna' go raid the snack machines?"
"Sure, sounds good to me. I could probably eat a human," he said with a smile. He always smiled. You'd smile too if you'd been stoned since the seventh grade.
"I don't want to picture that, Bruce!" we always liked to joke around, and now was no exception.
Bruce chuckled a little as we walked down the hall. "So, where's Greg?"
"Isn't that obvious? He's in class. He wouldn't cut if you paid him," I knew I was right.
Greg wouldn't have missed a class if you had just gotten shot in the head, needed to go to the hospital, and he was the only one there. I don't think he ever took off a sick day. Rumor was, his mom pushed him to overachieve. Sad really. One time he had to go to therapy for two weeks just because he made a B+!
A few minutes into our trek to the snack machine, we ran into Wallace Ingram. Wallace was the poster guy for Monstropolus High. He was the guy that I, personally looked up to. Yeah right!
He was in yearbook staff, spirit team, flag team, Future Achievers, Honor Society, School Softball team, Computer and Tech. Club, and any other school organization that could kiss the principal's ass. And, most importantly of all, he valiantly served our fine school as the hall monitor. All I have to do is think about him, and I'll start laughing my scaly ass off!
It was so pathetic, he roamed the halls aimlessly in his blue hat, and a bright-orange sash across his chest.
Other than the stupid wardrobe, Wallace was a large, snake/ lizard monster with some of the biggest muscles you'll ever see. He had a mouth packed with three rows of five-inch razor-sharp teeth. He had a five-foot tail, and horrific looking claws. He was intimidation incarnated.
Too bad, though, that he was a TOTAL wuss!
I looked over at Bruce and tried to stay calm, and not start rolling on the floor laughing. "Um, hiya Wally-boy."
He sneered. "Cut the bullcrap Boggs. Let's see the hall pass," He held out his clawed hand.
"My, what language!" I mumbled. Fortunately, Wallace was slightly hard of hearing.
Bruce spoke up, "What hall pass?"
Wallace sneered even more, "The hall pass you must possess to walk around these fine halls."
"Oh, that hall pass. Well, um." Bruce stood there looking up at the eight- foot tall hall monitor.
I held out my hand like I was going to stop him. "Hang on a sec Wally boy. Do you have a hall pass?" I asked him.
"No, I don't. What business is."
"Then what are you doing in the halls young man?" I wagged my finger at him. "For shame, a school official breaking the rules."
And as if it wasn't possible, his sneer got even larger. Now, even a dentist would think this was too much. "Boggs, I don't need one. I'M the hall monitor."
"Number one, my name's Val. And Number two, it's that orange sash you're wearing, isn't it? Is that where your whole source of authority is built upon?" Bruce had to choke back the tears of laughter for that one.
"Oh, so that's what it is!" I said with a grin. I used my newly developed blending skills and the next second, I had a bright-orange strips going across my chest. "Well, then I guess we can be moving along now."
Just then, I saw, coming around the corner, the one thing I didn't want to see, Sullivan!