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"Summer Rains"

Chapter 6~

By the time Tohru had come back with ice and filled Shigure in on what happened, I had changed back. I didn't look up as she entered and she sat beside me on the bed, placing an ice pack on my jaw. Her hands were cold from the ice and a chill ran through my body.

"Sorry," she apologized as she saw me shiver.

"I'm the one who should be." I muttered, not realizing at first I'd actually said that out loud.

"Kyo-kun, what's going on?"

"Everything's all wrong. All of it. I blame myself, really."

"Kyo-kun?"

"I started that fight with Yuki. It's my fault and now Kagura thinks it's hers," I clenched my left fist tightly, "and she had nothing to do with it. I just can't control myself."

"But why?"

"Yuki's become more distant, as you know," I said, "and then he made you think he hated you because he was too much of a damn coward to tell you what was wrong."

Tohru just looked at me, listening as I ranted on.

"And that pissed me off enough as it was, but now Kagura's thinking the same thing! She actually asked me if I'd 'hate her one day like Yun-chan does.' And he tells me to wake up? Feh! Just because I know nobody, especially someone like you, Tohru, can love the cat doesn't mean I'm stupid."

"Kyo-kun--"

"I mean it's not like I don't love you, but how could I ask you to even consider being with me?"

"Kyo-kun…"

"they'd probably just yell at me some more, saying I was trying to take advantage of you kindness or something. And they'd probably laugh at you and say your pity for the baka neko was going too far!"

"Kyo-kun!"

"What?"

"But I do!"

"You do…?" I asked confusedly, waving my hand in the air as a gesture for clarification.

"I do love you!"

She leaned over to hug me tightly, reaching to put her arms around my neck.

"Tohru--"

The warning came too late and I was a cat again.

"I'm sorry," she said with a nervous laugh, "I was so happy that you love me too I wasn't thinking properly."

"You apologize too much," I told her suddenly, "it's like you think everything's your fault or something."

Tohru looked at me curiously, head titled to one side, "You think so, Kyo-kun?"

"It's like you try to take the blame for everybody else. It's not right."

She looked back at me with a smile, "I'll keep that in mind."

I headed downstairs a few minutes later to be greeted by Shigure as I walked in the kitchen.

"Feeling better, Kyo-kun?"

"A little, I guess. Where's Yuki?"

I had passed by his room and he hadn't been there.

"Back at the house. To apologize to Kagura."

"Yea, well I hope she goes psychotic again and decks him for that cheap shot." I said, rubbing the side of my head.

"It wasn't, really."

"I know," I sighed, "I should have been paying attention. But I'm still mad at him."

"It's understandable," Shigure said with a sly smile, "you were only trying to protect your loved ones after all."

"Yea, yea, it's 'cute,' right?"

"You know me too well," he said with a laugh.

"I'm just used to you teasing me, that's all."

"Well you know I don't mean it."

"Yea, I know."

"In all sincerity, it was admirable of you."

"Even though I just screwed things up more?"

"Even though," he said with a nod, "it shows how devoted you are to them and what you're willing to do for them."

Tohru came downstairs to grab a soda from the fridge, tying to read her science book at the same time. She set the book on the kitchen counter and declared she was going to give up. Shigure offered to help her study for her test later, but she declined, saying he shouldn't go through any extra trouble.

I didn't pay attention to the rest of their conversation, I was trying to figure out how I could apologize to Kagura, make upsetting her up to her, and convince her it wasn't her fault in any way, shape, or form. Wondering why Shigure and Tohru had suddenly fallen silent, I glanced up from my contemplating to see Yuki standing in the front entryway.

Tohru gave him an odd look and headed upstairs without saying anything. His hand was at his side, slightly raised, as if he wanted to reach out and stop her as she passed. He didn't though, just glanced worriedly at Shigure, who looked calmly back. The tables had been turned; Yuki was now the one afraid Tohru hated him.

I got up to leave, knowing Yuki wanted to talk to Shigure about Tohru.

"Kyo."

I looked back at the sound of Yuki's voice with a glare.

"What?"

"We need to talk."

"I've got nothing to say to you." I said over my shoulder and walked out.

I had been planning on heading up to the roof, but I figured I would just go apologize to Kagura, even if it was getting a little late. It was maybe about seven, so she'd be there.

Before leaving, I climbed halfway up to the ladder to the roof and tapped on Tohru's window.

"Kyo-kun? What are you doing?"

"Well, Yuki apparently wants to talk to me. I didn't want to chance going through the house and running into him."

"Oh."

"Yea, I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to the main house to apologize to Kagura, convince her it's not her fault that it happened. I thought I'd tell you first though, you know, so you wouldn't worry."

"I understand, Kyo-kun! I'll tell Shigure too, so he doesn't worry either. I'll wait until later, when Sohma-kun's not around, so he won't follow you."

"Thanks, Tohru."

Halfway to the main house, it started raining. And I don't mean lightly. Damn sudden showers. I could just imagine Shigure laughing at me right now.

"That baka neko Kyo-kun should have taken an umbrella!"

With a sigh, I walked through the large wooden gate of the main house. It was closed, and looked heavy, dark, and ominous in the pouring rain and quick flashes of lightning. It was not locked, thank God, and actually rather light, for a pair of giant wooden doors.

I figured Kagura had gone to talk to Hatori, just about everybody confided in him, he was an attentive listener, and always there when you needed him. Sure enough, as I peered through his window, I could see her curled on a pillow, covered with a blanket; she'd fallen asleep on the floor. Hatori was nowhere in sight, but just as I was about to knock, he opened the door.

"What is it?"

"I needed to talk to Kagura," I explained, noting the annoyed look on his face. He was probably upset with Yuki and I for not stopping when Kagura asked. He started to answer me, but stopped at the sound of Kagura's voice. She always was a light sleeper. "Who is it, Tori-chan?"

"Kyo," he said, turning to her, "he said he needs to talk to you."

"I'll be right there!" she said, going into the other room for a minute.

"What happened to Yuki?" Hatori asked me, stepping back from the doorway to let me in.

"Something happened to Yuki?" I asked, confused.

"Apparently. Shigure told me to keep a lookout for him because he was coming to apologize to Kagura, but he never did."

"That's strange…" I said slowly, wondering what was going on, "he said he was going to and left, then came back later."

Kagura returned and Hatori left, saying he was going to call Shigure and talk with him about it. Too busy wondering why Yuki had lied about going to Kagura, I didn't answer, or hear, Kagura's question and she tapped me on the shoulder.

"Kyo-kun?"

"Ne? Sorry. What did you say?"

"What is Tori-chan going to talk to Shi-chan about?"

"Oh, well, Yuki said he was going to come over here to apologize to you, but according to Hatori, he never did. Is that right?"

She tilted her head a minute, glancing up at the ceiling, thinking.

"Hai. I haven't seen him since the fight."

"It wasn't your fault, you know." I told her, reminded of my conversation with Tohru when she had thought Yuki hated her.

"But--"

"But nothing. I let things get out of control, and that's it. It's my fault, not yours, okay?"

"Okay…" she sighed and focused her attention on the floor.

"Kagura."

"What, Kyo-kun?"

"I'm serious, okay? It wasn't your fault at all. So quit blaming yourself. It wasn't because you brought it up, it was because I couldn't stand to know he'd done that to you too and not do anything about it."

She glanced up at me and I'd have to do one of the hardest things in my life as she said what she did.

"Kyo-kun?"

"Hm?"

"Do you…love me?"