Note: this happens on the train to Hogwarts. Harry has just sat down in a compartment with Ron.
Ron: (looking up) I know you
Harry: Oh not again
Ron: I heard about you when I was three
Harry: Well I've never met you before in my life so could I have your name?
Ron: I know you, that scar on your head is so familiar a scar
Harry: (flattening his hair) well I've noticed that it is recognisable thank you
Ron: And I know it's true that you got rid of you know who
Harry: Do all wizards sing?
Ron: Well if I know you
Harry: Which you don't
Ron: Shut up or I'll sue
Harry: Ok, do all wizards sing like this? And if so is it this badly?
Ron: You'll love me at once
Harry: (shocked) look I'm sure you're a really nice guy but I'm not like that
Ron: The way you did once upon a dream
Harry: Oh dear, my first wizarding encounter and it's a singing homosexual
Ron: (snapping out of some sort of trance) Oh my god, your Harry Potter
Harry: We've established that already
Ron: We have?
Harry: Now look, I'm sorry, but I am straight and I don't fancy boys
Ron: Why would I want to know? I kinda presumed you were straight already?
Harry: So why were you singing that I loved you?
Ron: (a look of gasping apprehension) it's the writer!!!!
Writer: mwa ha ha ha ha
Ron: What are you doing to me?
Writer: editing your emotions for brief humiliation.
Ron: Why?
Writer: you will find out later on. It happens in the future.
(flashes to the future)
Hermione: Oh shut up Ron you will be singing soon enough, it's very infectious
Ron: Never in a million years
Writer: We shall see!
(comes back to the present)
Writer: so you see I can do anything even make you fancy Harry!!! Just using the power of my mind
(Writer laughs evilly and Ron goes back into his trance.)
Ron: I know you
Harry: I know this song
Ron: I walked with you once upon a dream
Harry: I don't remember you
Ron: I know you; the emerald eyes are so familiar a green
Harry: But you have never seen me before. Neither had anyone else, so how can my green eyes be familiar?
Ron: Haven't you been listening? I met you in my dream. We were meant to be together
Harry: I'm glad he's not really like this.
Writer: I always remind my characters whose in charge
Ron: And I know it's true, that these things are seldom all they seem
Harry: I hope so
Ron: For if I know you
Harry: Again, which you don't
Ron: I know what you'll do
Harry: yes I know
Ron: You'll love me at once
Harry: Are you going to stop him soon?
Writer: soon
Harry: Because I cannot keep calm through much more of this
Ron: the way you did once upon a dream
Writer: He's done now
Ron: (Snapping out of his trance) while you were busy making me sing that stuff
Writer: Because you said you would never sing, in the future?
Ron: Yes, well you made me say I would never sing, so it's your fault yet you are still punishing me
Writer: That's a fair point dear, oh well too late to change now.
(Ron shakes with anger gets in a huff etc)