My great apologies for the wait. This chapter is a complete re-think and re-write of this part of the story. Needless to say, that took a little while. Also I spent the last couple of days wrecking my hands and several expensive pieces of gear in a climbing course, getting ready for an upcoming assessment. This has hindered my typing skills a little ;-)
Hope you like this more than what I might have posted before the rewrite only you won't be able to read that to compare it; so if you don't, it's tough.
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Last note, I swear. Is there anyone out there who will beta for me? It will slow the posting process (the reason I dumped my last beta, near two weeks to beta one chapter just wasn't on), and I would have to convince who ever takes me on that I am never going to spell 'American' - it's our language, damn it! - but I would appreciate it (and so would nevermind, hehe).
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The pen hesitated over the page, having inscribed only a name. He had tears in his eyes and his throat was thick. He gazed out of the window into the thick forest beyond in attempt to clear his mind a little. The turmoil caused just by writing that name had surprised him, he had never imagined writing a letter could be so difficult.
'Elrohir'
The page declared. How often he had headed a letter with that name, during painful separations when both of them had been needed in their respective homes. They had written close to every day when possible, until the messengers had refused to take the letters for passing each other so often on the roads. Then it had been packages, a week's worth of correspondence tied with care into one bundle. Everything from weather reports to poetry had been shared in those days, the good days. Then there had been the bad days, those days and weeks and months shortly after CelebrÃan's going over sea when none had been able to locate the twins and the letters had piled up unsent. Those days when Legolas had mourned his mother's passing in a haze of unresponsiveness and the letters had gathered on his desk unread. But at the end of it all - when Legolas had ridden to find his absent love, those letters packing his saddlebags; when Elrohir had stormed into Mirkwood to thrust his most recent letter into Legolas' hands - they had been together. It might have seemed strange that, while they couldn't stop talking when they were apart, words had seemed so useless when they were together. They could be reunited after months and yet be perfectly happy to sit in peace, simply needing contact and relishing each other's company.
'I'm writing to apologise for my hasty departure.' His hand added at last, freed from the momentary mind lock and yet not as steady as he might have liked. Taking a deep breath and wiping at his eyes, he grasped the pen more tightly and continued. 'I find myself regretting our confrontation in Minas Tirith a month ago, and would like a chance to try again.'
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Thranduil watched with curiosity as his son waved off a messenger and turned back towards the palace. It had been a long time since he had placed so much importance on one letter, and the King had thought his friendship with the elf in Imladris had ended some time back. Indeed though he had visited often, Thranduil had been more than pleased to turn the Noldor elf away after his son had expressed no desire to see him. They had clearly had an argument of some sort, for Legolas had been out of sorts for some time afterwards, perhaps this letter was not meant for him.
Maybe Legolas had finally found himself a maiden and was preparing to settle down. Thranduil sighed, pleading with the Valar that this would be the case. He had thought that his friend in Imladris had been a cover for some girl he had found, their constantly exchanged correspondence only making him more convinced. He had been a little more than surprised when the Imladris elf had turned up, just as his son had described him, no she-elf at all. He sighed again, and looked to the darkening skies. His son had been alone for far too long.
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He didn't think he had ever been so nervous upon entering Imladris. Elrohir's return letter had been as long as his had been brief. Much it had said, but the bottom line had been underlined and repeated. 'Come home.' It had said. 'I'll be waiting. Just come home.'
His ride into the Last Homely House over ten years ago had been a very different one. Without warning he had chosen to return to the place Elrohir emphasised was home for both of them, whenever he needed the peace it offered from his home conflicts. He had been filled with joy and excitement, and had known that Elrohir would be too, as soon as he told him what he had found out. Again and again he had practised his words, the speech he would use to tell his lover that they had created another life. The shadows hadn't reached him then, they were far too distant. For now there was only happiness.
Happiness that had been shattered so shortly afterwards.
But that was not the thing to think of now.
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"Elrohir, stop pacing." Elrohir was lost in his own thoughts. He should have been here by now. He'd calculated it perfectly. The amount of time it would take the message to get back, how long it would take him to ready himself to leave, the time for his own journey. Elrohir paused at one end of the room and spun on his heel, pacing back the other way. He should have been here by now.
"Elrohir, please stop pacing."
"Perhaps the message has been delayed?" Elrohir considered, more to himself than his brother, as he span around another corner and continued pacing.
Giving a shout, Elladan leapt from his chair and tackled Elrohir to the ground. Elrohir watched him, wide eyed as he wondered whether or not his brother had finally gone mad.
"You will stop pacing now, or I will be forced to take dire action." Elladan growled.
"Yes brother." Elrohir answered softly.
"Alright then." Elladan slowly lifted off the floor, offering his brother a hand up. He ignored it, remaining sitting on the floor and rubbing at the back of his head.
"You could have just asked me to stop, you know." Elrohir was saved from further 'dire action' by a knock that came at the door of the room that adjoined their two bedchambers. His head quickly forgotten, Elrohir dived for the door and yanked it open with enough energy to near enough take it off the hinges. Lindir, one of the few remaining elves in Imladris after Elrond's departure, simply looked at him affectionately.
"He's here."
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Legolas stood stiffly in the courtyard, his cloak wrapped tight around his shoulders as if he were a man, chilled by the winds. He turned suddenly when Elrohir reached the top of the stairs and a glimmer of the smile of welcome he might have once expected flickered across his face.
Seeing him there, waiting with his heart wide upon, was so reminiscent of past days and past arrivals that Elrohir gave into his first impulse - dashing down the steps and near throwing himself into Legolas' arms. Not given time to think, routine took over for Legolas and he wrapped his own arms around Elrohir's shoulders, kissing him lightly upon the forehead. His heart sighed in contentment; he had not realised how very much he had missed this, just the simple act of holding and being held.
"I knew you would come." Elrohir whispered through his hair.
"There is much that needs to be said. I could not leave things as they stood between us."
"You left without word, everyone was desperately worried about you."
"I had"
"Aragorn said it was my fault." This under his breath as he stepped backwards to look over the other elf, still grasping his shoulders tightly. Legolas looked away, biting at his lip. "I never meant to hurt you that way." Elrohir continued. "If I had known I was causing you grief I would have"
"No. I wouldn't have wanted that. I was simply not ready to see you. If I had not talked with you then, I would never have been able to see you now."
"Still" Elrohir sighed, looking about him as though searching for words in the walls. "Shall we sit?" He asked finally, gesturing to a seat hidden in the corner of the room behind a curtain of ivy that cascaded from the roof.
They moved together, their bodies remembering an old unity that meant Elrohir's short clipped strides lengthen and Legolas' long strides shorten. Only when they reached the bench did newer uncertainties take over. Legolas sat with his back against the arm rest at one side, his legs drawn up between them, crossed at the ankles - a physical barrier between them. Elrohir sat tight against the back of the seat on the other side, his heels drawn up to his thighs and his chin rested upon his knees.
After a moments silence, Legolas sighed.
"I remember a time when we sat more or less where we are now and played a game where we tempted the birds in with song, competing to see who could coax the most in at once."
"I doubt many would come at our call these days."
"There is too much tension between us, they would give us the time to work it out." Legolas smiled wryly. Elrohir simply nodded in reply, Legolas having pinpointed the exact reason he had been thinking of. Legolas watched Elrohir as he looked out into the valley that lay beyond the alcove they sat behind. "Rivendell is quiet these days."
"It is emptied. There are few who can stand this place without the company it once kept."
"And yet it still keeps the company I come searching for." Still Elrohir did not look up and meet his eyes.
"Aye, but have you found it yet? You hover still, on the boundary. Have you yet stepped in to the land that once offered you solace?" Now he looked up, and Legolas could see the sheen of tears in his eyes.
"It is hard. Taking that step." Legolas replied seriously, knowing they were no longer talking of Imladris and the Last Homely House.
"It could not be easier. You must simply let go."
And that was how Legolas found himself tight in the arms of the one he had separated himself from - body and mind - for so long, crying tears that he had long thought dried out as he was rocked to a gentle melody and the birds began to settle around them.
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LadyJanelly : This do you for a further talk? I couldn't leave things like that, and Legolas knew it and bullied me into this chapter.
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Haldir's Heart and Soul : I think Elrohir's suffering almost as much as Legolas because, although he's not got all the facts, he's still lost a son, and then been separated from his lover in the worst way - not knowing if its his fault or not, not knowing if Legolas even wanted him to go looking for him. Besides which, Legolas isn't exactly making it easy for him.
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nevermind : I hope I've managed to keep some of that intensity for this chapter, though it is a reconciliation. I see the conversations a lot more easily than I see the setup and the surroundings.
Wanna beta? That way you could be sure I'd never typo again! ;-)
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smoothNcreamy : hehe, don't worry, it made me laugh, I like it. Can't promise anything, I'm afraid. Bites tongue with the temptation to give spoilers Must resist!
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dawn : Have a tissue. Thanks!
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drew'sgirl : Thanks for the review. Glad I could convert you.
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ElvenRanger13 : Thanks for the review!