.a.n.: Oh no, Christmas angst. ::hides:: Don't get me wrong - I love all those cute mistletoe fics around, they make me so happy with all the pairings, but I can't seem to write that sort of style at all. Anyway, I've been experiencing writer's block for the past week or so, which is why there're no updates on anything I've been writing. However, I got kind of pissed off at my mom today, and then, just this past week, I learned that one of my friends has a complete lack of morals and I've been having trouble confronting him...so I guess all of my frustration got poured into this fic. It'll probably flow over to my other fics too - but hehe, angst is okay, ne? Either way, it's not too long, and I hope not too sad, so please take good care of me!
.disclaimer.: Since when did tenipuri start showcasing stuff about Yagyuu and Niou's relationship?
.White.Christmas.
I'm dreaming ofa white Christmas...
Niou Masaharu ran his hand through his hair, inspecting the silvery strands that stuck to his fingers. Gently stretching one glinting hair, he glared at it. With a hard flick of his wrist, he snapped it in half. White Christmas, my ass.
Just like the ones I used to know...
Christmas, in Niou's opinion, was probably one of the gayest holidays around. What was so special about celebrating some dead guy's birthday? Niou highly doubted that if he died, anyone outside Rikkadai would bother to remember his birthday. And then there were all the stupid traditions: trees, mistletoe, wreaths. Niou hated plants. And if all that wasn't enough, people went around in the Christmas "spirit," being nice, giving presents, and acting, well, gay.
Where the treetops glisten...
Niou sighed, and ran his hand through his hair again. Staring at the new strands on his hand, he idly thought that he'd probably go bald soon. Rikkaidai's trickster walked into a derelict elevator, violently punching the number "13." He stared at the peeling paint covering the rotting walls, growing angry. Why the hell was his life so fucked up, and why did he have to realize it now?
And children listen...
Maybe it was 'cause everyone else was so happy this time of year. Maybe it was 'cause everyone else had family to go home to, loved ones to visit, and significant others to kiss under the stupid mistletoe. Maybe it's because they weren't Niou, the former Trickster. Niou stalked out of the creaky elevator, stepping into a dark hallway, rank with the odor of rotting wood, moldy carpet, and unidentifiable liquids. When he reached his flimsy excuse for a door, Niou shuffled through his pockets. Shit. I don't have my key. He cursed more, louder, hoping he'd wake up some irate neighbor. No such luck. It didn't matter anyway - the door was so rotten that...
To hear sleigh bells in the snow...
Minutes later, the lock lay disassembled on the ground just inside Niou's apartment. The wood where it had just been was broken - the remnant splinters thrown carelessly on the floor. Niou walked in, slamming the door haphazardly, not caring about the ruckus he was making. He walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of water. After a few deep gulps, he set it down, so forcefully that the glass cracked. But he didn't care. It wasn't as if he didn't go through a new glass every week or so.
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas...
Niou walked over to his bed, fully ready to collapse. He should've gone to that bar before he'd come home, but his damn promise to Yagyuu kept him from getting drunk on Christmas Eve. The silver-haired man sat down on his bed, burying his head in his hands. Peeking through his fingers, he looked around the barren room. Bed. Dresser. Table. Photo. Niou picked up the frame. He smiled grimly. Yagyuu...
With every Christmas card I write...
The frame held a creased picture, depicting a smiling Niou dragging a slightly twitching Yagyuu Hiroshi towards a roller coaster. In the background, Marui and Jackal were laughing at the Gentleman's ungentlemanly conduct, and Yukimura was smiling gently, as always. Sanada had been the one who'd taken the photo (suprisingly), and Yanagi and Kirihara were mysteriously missing.
May your days be merry and bright...
On a whim, Niou grabbed the frame and threw it. Hard. With a deceptive tinkling sound, the glass broke, shining dangerously in the moonlight. Niou panicked. Running over to the wreckage, he shifted the shards frantically, ignoring the pain in his hands. Finally, he found the picture, punctured in a few places, but still as whole and worn as before. Oh Yagyuu... He whispered, letting the first tear fall.
And may all your Christmases be white...
The answering machine beeped on. Funny - he hadn't heard the phone ring at all. Sorry, a feminine voice said, your call cannot be answered right now. Please leave a message after the beep.
Yukimura's soft voice floated across the dead air.Niou? Are you there? Pick up, please?" He paused, and gave an almost imperceptible sigh. "I suppose I don't have to remind you what day it is." He laughed nervously. "Sanada and I were hoping that you would...join us this year. We visit Yagyuu at this time every year anyway. I know you do too...since there's never any snow on the grave when we go. Would you like to come with us...? And maybe...go out for a late dinner afterwards...?"
Niou ignored the phone.
"Or maybe just the dinner?" Yukimura's voice turned pleading. "Niou, we haven't seen you in over a year...everyone's worried, even -no -especially Akaya. Please, Niou, consider it and call me back. You know my number. Oh and...um...merry Christmas Eve..."
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas...
Rikkaidai's trickster got up and walked to the bathroom, intending to clean up the mess on his hands. After all, he couldn't go getting the photo dirty, could he? Wincing from the sting of the soap on his hands, he looked as his face in the mirror. Smiling sadly, he took some water and splashed it on his hair, smoothing the wild locks into place. Then, reaching for an old and worn pair of glasses, he put them on. While inspecting his reflection, a thought came to him, and he mouthed some words at himself. "Merry Christmas, Niou..."
With every Christmas card I write...
With that, the floodgates opened, and tears slipped quickly down already wet cheeks. "Stop it, Yagyuu..." Niou whispered helplessly, "You never cry. Gentlemen never cry, Yagyuu...stop it..." But it was no use. The tears just flowed faster. "STOP IT, YAGYUU!!" Niou screamed at his reflection. "It was all your fault anyway!! If you hadn't jumped in front of that car, you wouldn't be dead!! You wouldn't be six feet underground, and I wouldn't be standing here!! It's all your damn fault, Yagyuu...if you hadn't done that...you'd still be alive...and I wouldn't..."
May your days be merry and bright...
Niou gently took off the glasses, putting them back on their revered shelf. At the rate he was going, he would damage them, and...Niou didn't know what he'd do if he broke one of his last memoirs of Yagyuu. Messing up his hair, he swore at the mirror and stumbled back into his room, just barely missing the glass on the ground. He really should've gone to that bar. Collapsing on his bed, Niou dragged the thin blanket over his body, shivering from the cold. But that window never closed anyway. Wiping away another tear, Niou put his hands together, realizing, ironically, that it almost looked like he was praying. It'd started snowing outside, he noted. He turned back to his clasped hands, wrapped tightly around the old photograph. Smiling wistfully, he decided on a "prayer."
"Merry Christmas, Yagyuu. Not like you ever got to enjoy it, anyway."
...and may all your Christmases be white.
a.n.: Eek. It was a death-fic again. Gomenasai! I just can't bear breaking the couples up, so the only way I can write this kind of angst is if someone dies...::blushes:: I was originally going to write this one with Fuji&Tezuka again, but I figured that 1) I'd been torturing the two of them a lot lately, 2) I should probably get more experience writing other characters, and 3) I could see Niou breaking things better than Fuji. I hope the characterization wasn't too off...and is Niou's hair silver? I didn't want to say white...so, just hoping. I'll try to post up more happy Christmas stuff before Christmas Day, so please keep an eye out for it. Hehe, thank you everyone, until next time then!