Disclaimer: I own nothing but the clothes on my back. . . except those belong to my mother, technically, since she bought it with her money. So, I guess that means I own nothing. Darn.
"Jackie? Are you alright?"
"What? Oh, yeah. I'm fine."
"Well, I'll see you later then, okay?"
"Okay."
As Jackie spoke this last word to Deborah, it seemed as though Jackie said "okay" to everything that she wasn't okay with. Jackie looked after Deb, who was walking slower than usual. Did Deborah think Jackie was "okay" with Dino being with someone else? Jackie took a deep breath. Did Deborah think Jackie was "okay" with her dad's drinking? Jackie clenched her fists. Did Deborah think Jackie was "okay" with having to see Jonathan and Deb so happy, so cheerful? Jackie prepared herself for the worst. Deborah took one step out of Chang's room and the moment stood still. With one leg out of the room, Deborah stopped to be met with a crying, sniffing, sobbing Jackie.
"Wait! Deb! I...please!"
And as any loyal friend would do, Deb stopped and held Jackie in her arms. It was there in the empty classroom that Deb realized just how broken, how shattered Jackie was. The realization sunk in, and Deborah had never felt so furious. Jackie was so innocent, and held good intentions. How could he have done this to her? How could Deborah let him do this to her?
Without a second thought, Deb spoke the words Jackie wanted, needed to hear. Deb stroked her hair and rubbed her back, she used everything in her power to try and make Jackie believe.
"It'll be okay, Jackie. I swear. Everything will be fine. I know it."
Did she know it? Jackie asked herself this over and over again as she felt her salty tears stain Deb's flamboyant pink shirt. Jackie wanted to stay in her friends arms, she wanted to stay where she felt safe. Instead, she wiped her eyes and plastered a fake smile on her face.
"Thanks, Deb. That's just what I needed."
Without a moment to spare, Jackie grabbed her bag and rushed out of the room, leaving her friend stunned. Jackie stifled another powerful sob as she heard Deborah's words echo out to her.
"Jackie, wait! Please, don't go."
But she had to go. She had to leave. Deb didn't understand. Jackie knew that Deb could hug her until they both turned the color of raspberries, but that wouldn't mean Deb knew the emotions that stirred deep inside of Jackie's soul. Jackie walked past countless classrooms, listening to find out if Deb was following her.
She wasn't.
Jackie was alone now, and she continued to walk outside of the school. With each step, she remember a new way her life had gone to shit.
-step-
My dad's a drunk.
-step-
Dino... I...
-step-
Everyone around me is so damn happy.
-step-
I ruined everything and anything I had with Matt.
Jackie stopped counting her steps, and the reasons her life was so unbearable. She couldn'tgo on withit, and she knew full well that she was at her breaking point. Jackie stopped as soon as she exited the school, and she backed herself up against a hard brick wall. She exhaled slowly and let out a fierce cry of desperation, hoping that something or someone would fix what had become so horrible. Her tears were the only things bringing warmth to her body, for she felt so cold inside. She held herself as she shook with each passing sob, each insatiable cry for mercy. What had happened to her? And why, why had it happened so fast?
Okay, this chapter is crap. But, I hope to redeem myself with the next one, which will probably involve Ben....because he's my favorite. Anyways, thanks to my reviewers. ) I love you all!