"What happens, brother, to a Peredhil who dies before he has made his choice?"
Elladan realised he had been caught staring when Elrohir confronted him with that most disturbing question. His twin sat with his back to him on a bench in the courtyard of Imladris, wrapped in a thick blanket as though chilled, a plate of food sitting untouched beside him.
"Do not ask such things, brother. I will not let you die, and neither will Legolas." He replied strongly, feeling like a liar.
"Legolas has already faded, have you not seen it in his eyes? Only his body remains, and his memories." Only now did Elrohir look up at him, his face pale and drawn. The younger twin's eyes filled with tears at the thought, and Elladan pushed the plate out of the way so that he could sit down beside him.
"I cannot let you fade to some unknown fate, nor to purgatory, if that be the result of such a death. Let us sail, and join father. We have kept it over-long to be reunited with those who have departed." He hated making such a decision so abruptly; his heart cried out for more time on Middle Earth, but if it would save his brother, Elladan would not hesitate.
"They say you can keep all that you wish in the Undying Lands, and cast away all else at the door."
"So they say, in the tales."
"Perhaps Legolas will be absolved of his guilt, and will return to me there. . ."
"His suffering soul will be calmed."
"Do you think we will find him there… Riven, I mean? Will Mandos keep him in his halls until the end of time? He was not Half-elven, but there is man's blood in him… What if…"
"We cannot think to presume. We can only see what we find when we get there."
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The wind made his hair fly wildly and the sail behind him flap vigorously. Spray flew up at him and the salt stung his face. It was a hard road to take - the straight road West across the sea. And harder still when the heart was heavy and the only thought that kept him going was that of… of what? Of relief? Forgiveness? Forgetting? No, he had no wish to forget… but then every wish in the world for that to be the case. How could he expect such pain to fade away?
He looked up and found Elladan and Elrohir standing at the prow, tall and proud. They were lords, Kings in their own country, and now they would travel across sea to be naught but star-children at the feet of the Valar. . . There were no titles there.
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Three figures awaited them at the quayside. If asked, none of the elves on board could have told of the final stages of the journey to this land lost to Arda.
As Legolas disembarked he found his steps less weighted than when he had alighted, and looking to the twins he found a light in their eyes that had been absent for some time - worn away by the cares of Middle Earth, though none of them would be able to say when that light had begun to fade. He laughed without thought, and the sound surprised him - so full of youth as it was. It was as though the cares had been washed from his soul and his life had been laid out behind him in a way that he might look at it without feeling a connection to the events. It was a strangely detached feeling, but try as he might he could not bring himself to worry about it. So he laughed some more instead.
Elrond and Celebrían gathered the twins up in their arms with peaceful sighs of contentment, and together the four wandered inland leaving Legolas with the third elf.
He stood tall and proud, this elf, dark-haired and stern of face. His eyes glittered a little though, when he smiled, and his face softened.
"I am Tithen. I've been waiting for you." Legolas could not help but laugh at this strange introduction, for though the other elf had introduced him self as 'Little' he was in fact taller than Legolas. "You laugh as though you have been waiting to for some time. Will you tell me of the sadness that has stolen your laughter?" He asked, beginning to walk along the path after the family.
Legolas followed, thinking over his answer. There was much that could be said to answer such a question, and he didn't think there was anyone to which he had told the whole story. Well, why not? He was in no danger here, and they were all out of reach of his father. . .
Seeing his indecision, Tithen led him off the path and into a field of wildflowers. He took a seat amongst the flowers--nearly hidden by them, in fact--and waited for Legolas to settle beside him. Legolas laid back in the long grass, cushioned by its softness. Propping himself up on his elbows, he looked at Tithen again.
"It is a long tale, filled with much sorrow," he warned.
"There is no time here, thus no 'long' or 'short'. The sorrow must be confronted, else you will never truly embrace your laughter."
Legolas smiled. "Then I shall begin… long ago. When Legolas met Elrohir in Mirkwood forest on a sunny day in June--"
"Do you often tell stories in the third person?" Tithen asked, laughing softly at the beginning of his tale.
"Shh… a sunny day in June and loved him though he said nothing and did nothing… He was unconscious, you see… But that is another story." Tithen laughed softly and Legolas smiled, silently promising that story would be told before long. "Six hundred years passed, and there was sorrow here and there, but mostly joy—you forget about the joy, don't you, when there is so much sorrow… And yet, the joy outweighs it without effort. Nevertheless, so small an amount of sorrow can cloud a thousand years."
"It is the way of time, that sorrow fills your mind and joy is pushed away."
Legolas gave a nod and continued, "Anyway, after six hundred years a short separation between the two occurred, in during which Legolas realised that he was with child. He was scared at first, for such things were highly outlawed in Mirkwood Forest. It would have meant his head and the life of his child if anyone had found out. He travelled quickly to Elrohir's side in hopes he would offer him sanctuary in Rivendell, where they would be able to bring up the child together. When he left Rivendell a short time later, he travelled to Fangorn with the nursemaid who had midwifed for his mother when he was born, and had the baby there."
"Wait… what happened to Elrohir and Rivendell?"
"That is an episode of my life I would rather forget, and I will not dwell on it now. Mistakes were made on both sides, when much future suffering could have been avoided." Legolas sighed. "And so, knowing he could not return to Mirkwood or Imladris with the child, Legolas turned to his last remaining hope. He took the child to Gondor, and Aragorn, entrusting him into his care, then disappearing into the night. Medical assistance was sought that meant returning to Rivendell one last time, but when he left, Legolas swore he would never see that place again."
"I bet that oath did not hold. None can deny themselves that which they love." Tithen declared with a smile.
"It was to Gondor that first he did return, to his son. But the enforced separation was hard on his heart, and Legolas did suffer. In this suffering he persevered, but Lady Arwen upon seeing this sent him away. He found that disappearing soothed his pained heart a little and resolved to return. But Elrohir found him upon his return, and the pain he brought his fragile heart, coupled with the longing was too much… Soon after the vow was broken, Legolas returned to Imladris, to a love he had long denied himself. But here, here fell news awaited him: the death of his first-born son." He drifted for a moment in thought of that event, though still his emotions were not attached to the memory.
"The male-born are precious to the Valar;" Tithen spoke. "They bring them back into their arms so early in their lives for their innocence is always treasured here. Messages were sent, in the beginning, of the sanctity of such children. Are these words forgotten so easily?"
"It has always been this way in my memory. My father has long been the supporter of action against those who stray."
"Ah, Thranduil," Tithen murmured almost to himself, staring absently out into the mists. "Did the loss of your first son shake you so badly?"
Legolas simply stared, absorbing this new information with shock. There was no doubt in his mind what Tithen meant.
"My father…"
"His love bore him a son in the second century of their union. But the babe was not for so harsh a world, and never opened his eyes to see it. The loss was too much for young Galenlas, and he fell to grief shortly after."
"Galenlas… I was named for him." Legolas observed.
"And later your wood. Their bond was strong, but Thranduil survived for his forest. He had no heir. This grief must have driven him to make so dire a judgement upon his people."
"And for him to lose mother too… how it must have embittered him."
"It can be seen how a grieving heart might twist such a thing of joy."
"Will Riven meet this child? He is half uncle to him; it might gladden him to know he has another."
"Yes, I have met him." A smile stretched across his face at the shock and surprise on Legolas'. "Here I am called by my father-name. Tithen Galen."
"I never called you thus." Legolas objected weakly.
"No." He smiled softly, as though admonishing his naïvety. "This is the name that Adar Elrohir called me in his dreams. He thought of me often, and wept for me from time to time though I did not suffer."
"He suffered in your parting, much as I did."
"I was safe, and happy with my aunt and uncle, and Eldarion to watch over me."
"Yet still we would have had you at our side." Legolas reasoned. He fell silent, watching his grown son with curiosity, a smile spreading over his face as pride filled him. "The knowledge of this place has infused you with thoughts so much larger than yourself. How does it suit you?"
"Much as my name does. It fits in a way I never imagined. I think of this as my adulthood, though my childhood barely ended in a way that might be thought of as a coming of age." He stood then, leaving Legolas musing on his words, to embrace Elrohir whose approach had been missed by the blond elf.
"I apologise for my tardiness, it has been a long time since I have seen my mother." Elrohir spoke softly.
"I can tell it will be difficult for you to release the concept of time." Tithen laughed. "There is no late here, no rush, no hurry. Only that you are here, and so are we." Together they sat back down beside Legolas. Seeing the absent look in his eyes, Elrohir shuffled closer and leant over as if to kiss him. Tithen stopped him with a hand on his back.
"Wait," he murmured.
"What is it?"
"He returns to us, but you must give him a moment. Wounds such as those his heart took take some time to heal, even here. Wait a moment more." When Legolas looked up a moment later it seemed as though a spark that had been missing from his eyes since the death of his mother and the darkening of his wood was returned to him. He grinned widely at Elrohir, and closed the small distance between them to kiss him soundly.
"Things haven't been so bad, have they," he spoke at last. "After all, here we are." He sat up to wrap one arm around Riven and the other around Elrohir. "And what more could we want?" Elrohir's tummy rumbled in reply.
"Lunch?" He asked sheepishly. Legolas pushed him away into a patch of seeding dandelions, resulting in a huge explosion of seeds.
"Lunch! I'll give you lunch!" He laughed, leaping after him and taking them both rolling across the field. Elladan and Tirith, son of Galenlas, came to stand behind Tithen, watching the two gambolling across the fields.
"Do you think we'll ever get them to act their age?" Elladan asked.
"No. But I don't think it will matter too much here… let them play, they have deserved it." Tithen answered, turning with the other two back towards the city.
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Just a little green
Like the colour when the spring is born
There'll be crocuses to bring to school tomorrow
Just a little green
Like the nights when the northern lights perform
There'll be icicles and birthday clothes
And sometimes there'll be sorrow
Joni Mitchell
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THE END
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Riven meaning torn apart, separated violently (English)
Tithen Galen meaning Little Green (Sindarin - hopefully)
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Huge thanks to all who have followed the story, especially those who have reviewed
- sielge, smoothNcreamy, Kitty, nevermind, acuamaine, cami, LadyJanelly, grumpy, non-christian, dawn, Haldir's Heart and Soul, Pasha ToH, felicia, drew's girl, ElvenRanger13, narcolinde/erobey & Landos Star -
And most especially SesshyAngel, my fabulous Beta
You've made it a joy. Hope I'll see you again for the next one after the new year!