Come Hell or Highwater

I got up and walked toward the Master at arms. There he stood next to Katie, Darcie and Whitney. I sighed. I told them they would get in trouble, but they didn't listen.

"What you do?" I asked them as I stood there interrogating them hands on my hips.

"Well, you know how we made fun of the old people?" Katie asked me. I nodded as a reply.

"Well," Darcie continued "This old woman didn't like it and just suddenly decided to jump in the water."

The Master at arms rolled his eyes. "Jocelyn and Myra Edwards and Hillary North were found threatening an old woman with a butter knife. Apparently, she had a heart attack and fell over the railing."

I couldn't help but laugh at them. I miraculously got them out of there only to find Shavai and Megan had disappeared.

I walked down the hall on the way to my room and knocked at Elizabeth's door. She seemed extremely startled to see me, pulling the covers over herself quickly. I knew right away what was going on. I quickly left and closed the door behind me. Then ran back in to see some boy from steerage a few years older than her crawling out from under the bed. I laughed and left again.

She came after me with a sheet wrapped around herself.

"You're not gonna tell my parents are you!" She was really scared. I almost burst out laughing, but I kept a straight face.

"Oh, I'm sorry Elizabeth. But I'm gonna go in my room and call your parents right now." I pushed past her and walked quickly into my room. She banged on the door. I waited a few minutes for her to catch onto the joke.

"No! Sydney! You can't! They'll kill me!" She banged on the door. "Wait a sec! You don't know my parents phone number! Ha!" At that, I peeked my head out the door.

"Oh darn it. And I just remembered 3 things that are stopping me from doing that. Number 1: no phones. Number 2: even if there were phones, neither of your parents exist yet. And number 3: We're probably gonna die in 3 days anyway, so it really doesn't matter if you get an STD by then." I closed the door and got ready for dinner. I had Jack invited to the dinner that night and asked Molly to make him at least, presentable.

I wore a simple light blue dress with my permed hair put in a simple messy bun on the top of my head with a few curls hanging free on the sides of my face and some in the back. I did my make up so I looked a little pale, but I had darkened my lips with some rouge and some blush on my cheeks. I get a little carried away when doing my make up. What can I say? I enjoy being a girl.

I walked to my dresser and found my four requested hammers lying in a small row on it. For some reason, they also gave me chisels. I had totally forgotten about that, but all the better. I had something we had to do just before the ship sank.

When we finally arrived at dinner, everyone stared in awe. We were the most available girls on the ship. Rich, pretty, and according to how the men treated us: Stupid. We were all (for once) completely elegant. I couldn't believe it. I guess the realization had just set over all of us that this ship was going to sink already. Here it was April 12, 1912 and it sinks in two more days. 3 if you want to get technical. I just glanced at Cal for a moment, simply to find he had been staring at me the whole evening. We all sat at the same table, Cal and Rose sat diagonally from us.

Rose kept the whole table together. I guess Jack must've been nervous. Under all the pressure that if he screwed up, it was basically a death sentence. Still, he took it as it came at him. Darcie and Katie got into a little conversation about boys and their friends that waited 92 years in the future.

My mind went to Cal. He mouthed something to me and I had no idea what he was saying and suddenly, my mind went to my parents. And believe it or not, I actually missed them. I actually missed my dad nagging at me to get out of bed for school. I miss my mom and my kitchen dances to songs on the radio. Still, he tried to make me understand what he was trying to say. I paid him no mind, excused myself and walked up the stairs to where Rose would meet Jack in a few minutes. I looked at the clock. 9:15.

The days were going by so fast. I continued walking up the stairs. Life wasn't fair. I was suddenly expected to grow up overnight and find all of us a way out of this dream turned nightmare. As I walked towards the hallway where my room was located, I heard footsteps behind me. I dismissed it as someone else who knew the fate of everything. I walked into my room and let my hair down. Staring into my vanity long and hard, before taking a glass of water near it and throwing it over my reflection then finally using the cup to throw at it. I threw myself onto my bed and curled into a fetal position, crying. I didn't want to be here anymore. I couldn't stand it. This was happening too fast and things were going way out of proportion. And just as I got to telling myself what a stupid wish that was, a hand grasped my shoulder. I looked up and Cal was there. He was the one who followed me to my room. Instantly, a scenario popped into my head of me and him doing the horizontal mambo. But I was surprised at what a gentleman he was. He sat on the end of the bed, helping me sit up. I leaned on his shoulder as I continued to cry. He hugged me and rubbed my back shushing me.

Then suddenly, I must've had a blackout because when I realized what I was doing, my lips were attached to his. I wasn't sure if he did it, or I did it, but there we were. I pulled my face away and stood up, wiping my tears away.

"I think you should be leaving, Cal." I kept my gaze to the walls and the floor, never at him. If I could help it.

"But, I don't think you should be left alone right now because I -" Cal tried to give me reasons but I cut him off.

"Do you love Rose, Cal?" He looked at me for a moment.

"I want to l-" He tried to change the subject. Tears gathered to my eyes.

"Do you love her?" I repeated.

He decided to stop getting defensive, licked his lips and whispered "Yes."

My heart was going to break. I shook my head and opened the door.

"Then there can't be anything between us." I tried to make myself feel better thinking he was too old for me, but it still hurt. Love was staring me in the face, and I walked away from it. It's one of the worst feelings I ever had in my life. I felt alone, though he was a few feet infront of me. Then my mind got to wondering about some things. And my mouth decided to voice them.

"Cal, you know it's not nice what you're doing to Rose and me." I simply stated, not looking at him. Of course, she would cheat on him too.

"What am I doing to you and Rose?" He asked. I finally gathered the courage to glance at him, to give him an answer.

"You're using me to make her stay with you. You don't even like me." I turned my back to him and looked long and hard at the door. "Thanks for comforting me, but I think you've overstayed your welcome."

He brushed by me then titled my head up to his by holding his hand under my jaw. He kissed me on my lips and looked into my eyes.

"I don't know what it is. I just feel differently about her when I'm around you and je pas pensent je t'aime que adapte tout à fait la manière je me sens." He kissed my forehead then left. He didn't seem upset or anything. He spoke to me in French and all the French I had ever heard in my life ran through my head. I remembered the way he stared into my eyes and it hurt me to know nothing could happen between us. Something just hurt that I couldn't have him. I peeked out the door and watched him walk down the hall to retreat back to the pool of smoke and brandy with the other men. Then it hit me. I knew what he said and I whispered it to myself as I tried to stop my heart from aching.

"I don't think I love you...quite fits...the way I feel." I sighed and fell against the wall. Giving my response to no one else around I muttered "And you can gently break my heart." Then I held my breath, trying not to cry.