Parry Hotter and the Chamberpot of Secretions
Parry Hotter was not a normal boy. First off, he was a hermaphrodite. Second, he liked pumpkins. Third, his pet owl, Headcase was impregnated in a bar by a penguin that thought it was a duck.
Parry went to Hogfarts' School of Witchcraft and Pretzel-making. Parry and his two best friends, Vagina Manger and Don Weasel, were witches. They were also bitches. Their mortal enemy, Day-Glo Golfoy was also a bitch/witch. He was growing a second head that was really ugly. He secretly wanted to be a two-headed whore.
Vagina was the most masculine non-lesbian ever. She had this freaky white-chick-who's-never-washed-her-hair afro. Birds lived in it. Don, who was planning on opening his own Discothèque, also had an Afro, but his was more controlled. He also had a peculiar habit of wearing his sister, Beery's shirts. Beery was really hot, but no one cared because she had a penis and no boobs. She and Parry were a perfect match, but Parry was stupid and was in love with this freaky-deeky chick with a weird name like Kishmun Tuchas or something.
One day, they were in their pretzel-making class with Professor McGiraffe. She was a giraffe. She was also hot. Like breaking-the-laws-against-bestiality hot. Vagina wanted to know about the Chamberpot of Secretions.
"Professor McGiraffe," she said, scratching her boob, "can you tell us about the Chamberpot of Secretions?"
"No." Professor McGiraffe replied. Vagina went back to masturbating.
Just then, a mime named Frob ran into the room. He had this mime-like issue where he talked through his ass and farted through his mouth. Parry, who hated mimes, shot him. The end.