A Little Bit of Everything
By: Rouge-kun
Disclaimer and Author's Note: I don't own any part of this story in any way, shape, or form, except for the fact that I wrote it, and thieves will be mercilessly hunted down and decapitated. SO is not mine, .hack is not mine, FF is not mine, KH is not mine, and Disney is not mine, but I couldn't care less about Disney. Hellsing, FMA, and Furuba are also not mine, but they don't make appearances until Chapter 2 and beyond...if all goes well, anyway. This is my first fanfic, but I don't mind, how you fic-writers say, flames? This is getting a little long...anyway, OOC-ness and AU are included. It's a pretty far-fetched Crossover too. Rated PG-13 for mock shounen-ai and some slight language, nothing beyond damn. R&R, though it may be a cry that falls on deaf ears...
Chapter One:
It's A Small World After All
"W00t! Cotton Candy!" cried Fayt Leingod, diving through a closely packed crowd of people to get to the nearby vendor. "Hey, mister, what kind of money do you accept?" "Only munny. Or a Capital One card! What's in your wallet?!" "Oh. Well, duh. I should have known that you stupid Disney fags would only accept munny." The vendor opened his mouth in rage as the blue-haired, scrawny college student glanced around and plucked a spiky-haired kid wearing obnoxiously huge shoes out of the masses.
"Hey, Sora. Can I bum some cash?" Sora's eyes grew huge in their sockets. "I see dead people...!" he whispered hoarsely. "Um, yeah. Can I have some munny?" Sora took out his wallet with trembling hands and dropped some multi-faceted gold balls into Fayt's outstretched hand. Once released, he wandered into the crowd, shaking and muttering to himself.
"Yeah... I'd like one... two... three cotton candies, please!" Forking over the money, he happily tore off a huge chunk of spun sugar and shoved it into his gaping maw. "Want some, Albe–?" he began, turning to his friend, but was suddenly interrupted.
"Squinoa?! HeeroxDuo?! HARRYxMALFOY?!?! Albel Nox smacked his wireless laptop's display in disgust. "Fanfiction. Bah! What kind of spineless, disgusting, repulsive worms take time out of their miserable little lives to describe their worthless fantasies to total strangers?" Pointing accusingly at the author, he exclaimed, "Like this pathetic fool here! Apparently she was delirious and overcome with the mindless desire to see me reading fanfiction! What rubbish!" Albel returned to brooding over websites he hates.
Fayt entertained the idea that Albel likes to be angry. (Author: Fayt is slow. Very slow.) "You know, someday you'll get old and die of a massive coronary, Albel."
"What! Of course not. I intend to die before I turn thirty-five!"
Fayt blanched. "Why and how?" he asked.
Albel drew himself up proudly, only too glad to explain. "I will commit a tearful suicide at a young age to keep my newly-discovered multitudes of female fanbase happy! After all, after a man turns thirty-five, he becomes invisible to women. I read that in Maxim." With that, Albel drew his sword and cut the vendor's head off in his passion. "Holy shit!" Fayt yelled. Albel caught the eye of two fangirls watching and, on a second thought before sheathing his sword, licked the blood slowly off the blade. To his satisfaction, the girls swooned and fell to the ground, getting trampled to death by the herd of adrenaline-riddled people pouring out of Space Mountain.
"A lemonade, please," he said, snatching some of Sora's munny from Fayt. "A master of Death and Destruction indeed..." Fayt mumbled to himself as Albel downed the fruity goodness. "The internet is truly a wonderful thing," Albel thought, watching a boy and girl squat down and poke the unfortunate fangirls with a long stick. The mother walked over to see what they were doing, screamed, and, taking them by the hands, bid them stay away, they don't know where those things have been. She ushered them away toward Cinderella's Castle.
Fayt was beginning to rethink his decision to being Albel with him to Disney World, but damn did he hate that ugly bitch Sophia. Just the mere thought of her annoying voice sent an ominous shiver down his spine. Watching Albel smirk and laugh at his most recent achievement, he shrugged, knowing that even Albel's company was better than her company.
He jumped suddenly at the tapping on his shoulder. Shit! Could Sophia have followed me?! "Excuse me." Fayt turned and beheld... SEPHIROTH-SAMA!! (Fangirls squeal.) "Uh... y-yes?" "Damn!" he thought. "No one is safe from His Bishyness! Apparently, not even Albel..." Fayt glanced at Albel, whose sword had clattered to the ground, severing several people's toes. As those poor souls hobbled with amazing speed to the clinic with toes securely packed in ice and lawyers in tow, all Albel's senses perceived was SEPHIROTH-SAMA!! (Fangirls squeal. Okay, I'll stop now.) Mako-imbued green eyes met with smoldering red ones, and (Fayt wondered why the soundtrack stopped so abruptly)....... and the author is at a loss! (After all, the author is a homophobic prude! : D Everyone falls down.)
"Ah. Yes." Sephiroth began, composing himself. "Do you know where I can find some gasoline?" "Gasoline?" Fayt echoed, his brow furrowed. "What could you possibly need with gasoline...in Disney World...ten feet from It's a Small World..." Fayt trailed off as Sephiroth's purpose became clear. "Ahhhhhhhhhh." Sephiroth nodded.
An evil grin played across Albel's lips. "Hmph! I like how you think..." Albel paused thoughtfully... "Worm." Sephiroth's eyes flashed. Fayt winced. Albel bent down, picked up his fallen weapon, and rested it on his shoulder. "If you're a little thick, that was a challenge. I'd prefer not to mix with or aid in a cause of someone who isn't even worthy of my presence." Fayt glanced at Sephiroth. He surveyed Albel for a moment, as though he could hardly believe the lack of respect he had just witnessed, then laughed. Albel twitched. Sephiroth tossed his silvery hair (swoon faint), and replied, "Fine, you seem to be of worth. I accept your challenge. Besides, I haven't had a good fight for a while– not since..." here he lowered his gaze– "mumblemumblespikymumblelifestreammumblemumble." "What?! Speak up, maggot!"
Fayt retreated a good distance as both readied their psychotically long swords with flames of fury burning in their eyes. "From here," he thought, "the only way I might get hurt is from the flying bodies." He grabbed a toddler's half-eaten lollipop and munched on it thoughtfully. The battle ensued. Suddenly, cries could be heard above the sword slashing and screaming. "Stop the fight! Make way for Disney Security!" Fayt halted in mid-lick.
"Hey– who's the guy with the wings?"
Soooo, how was it? This was my very first shot at a fanfic. The idea kinda came down on me at lunch one day, because someone was singing "It's a Small World", which caused me to remember my borderline-traumatic visit to Disney World. Please stay with me, and remember, there will be no more if there is no feedback! Thanks so much for reading! Rouge-kun