Well here we go! This is a very twisted story with a bit of SoUE and DotM. If you haven't read either, why are you reading my friendsstory? (she emailed it to me and well...she's not on fanfiction. I'll tell you that.)
Daughter's POV
(All in line for Planet Bang)
Vanessa: Oh, Michael! I love you!
Michael: Oh, sweetie, you are SO barking up the wrong tree.
Vanessa: (whispers harshly) Go along with the plan for me to get with Kyle or I'll won't give you that Prada bag.
Michael: Yes, ma'am.
Kyle: I love you Catty.
Catty: Yeah whatever. (kisses random guy on the street passionately)
Kyle: I love you Catty.
Catty: SHUT UP! (kicks Kyle)
Baudelaire's POV
Mr. Poe: OK, I've got some hookers in my hotel room, so I'm going to drop you off at Planet Bang.
Klaus: AHHHHHHHHH! It's Count Olaf in the crowd!
Violet: (Sees Quigly and his brother and sister) No let's go.
Sunny: Pika! (means: But Count Olaf is dressed as Pikachu)
Violet: Fine, I'll go by myself.
Mr. Poe: GET OUT OF THE CAR!
Quigly: Hey, Vi.
Violet: (kisses Quigly and tries to rip his shirt off.) I LOVE YOU!
Sunny: spoon (means: gag me with a spoon)
Klaus: Who is that delightful whr over there? (staring at Tianna, who is dressed in a bikini)
Derek: GET OFF MY GIRLFRIEND!
Klaus: BUCK UP!
Derek: OK fine you can have her.
Tianna: Derek! FINE! I'll make you JEALOUS!
Klaus: Hey, baby.
Daughter's POV
Serena: OH! STANTON! (kisses stanton's abs)
Stanton: Look at that baby.
Serena: What?
Sunny: Serrel (means: move away. This hottie's mine)
Serena: continues to unclothe Stanton.
Sunny: (face turns red and bites Serena)
Serena: OWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! OW!
Tymmie: Serena, you could always come with me.
Isadora: Tymmie, come with me!
Inside Planet Bang
Violet is down to her undies and undershirt, and Quigly is in his boxers. They are kissing.
Duncan: QUIGLY!
Michael: Who's the hottie over there? (points to Duncan)
Vanessa: FINE. Go for it. Just don't hurt yourself.
Duncan: Who are you?
Michael: The man of your dreams.
Duncan: OH! (licks micheals cheek)
Count Olaf: Mwho ha ha ha! (Kissing Serena next to a mad Esme')
Esme: (gets out knife) AHHHHHHHHHH! (kills everybody except for violet's baby, which looks a lot like count olaf)
I hope it was funny.