In lieu of the upcoming and ever so anticipated Republican Convention, I have revamped the King Arthur story. What if in the war (the one at the end of the movie duh) the leader of the Saxons was Bush. Arthur and his knights have a few harsh words for this 'very popular' leader.

(Words aren't like the movie, its just the plot line.)

Warning: Not suggested for Republican voters

This is really a joke. Don't take it too seriously, it just pokes a teeny-weeny bit of fun at American Politics. But, if you hate me for it I understand :D, at least its being read.

By the way I don't own any of these characters; Bush (you know which one although I could mean a different one...., Arthur (from the movie not history), Merlin (the one and only), Galahad, Michael Moore etc, Everyone, John Kerry, Hollywood, LOTR, aaaaaand sports fans from all over the world (I am one of you, I don't own you)!!! That's it now read.

At the Tall Gates in Britain (the one with the big wall made of stone, yep THAT one).

Bush: Surrender now or else we will never ever ever again trade with you for your tartan kilts, blue face paint, fish and chips, or oil again!

Arthur: We are Britain! We made you who you are! You used to recognize our queen's birthday!

Merlin: And I predict that you will waste our tea so we will never surrender! Muahaha.

(none gets it)

Bush: Yeah well my army is bigger than yours! So there.

Arthur: Well you have bad social services! Take that!

B: We're right wing knuckle head! More guns more military the better! I mean more swords and shields the better!

A: You have no reason to invade us! Go home!

B: Sure I do! You're a threat to us! See you're about to attack us with your really dangerous (and dull) blades!

A: That's not fair!!

B: Catch twenty-two! Ha!

A: What the bloody hell is that??

B: I plead the fifth. It wouldn't be fair if I told him our civilization was so many centuries ahead of them, we'll just tell them that theirs is wrong.

A: Right then. We are the people of this land. Our blood has made it what it is today.

B: Tell that to the Native Americans.

A: Fine! Maybe I just will!

Everyone: Gasp!

Bush: That's it! Troops from Ghetto A, forward march!

Arthur: Fight us yourself! You rich f!

Bush: Well I can afford to have other people fight for me!

Michael Moore: I got that on film President Bush. Thanks a bunch. Now can you look at the camera this time and say it again? Oh and smile too, you have nice teeth.

Galahad: Eeeeeeeeew they're gay!

Everyone: Gasp.

(Galahad runs away screaming like a baby.)

Arthur: Enough! Now we fight! Let us present the blue barbarians of Britain with their flame throwers.

Bush: I present the elite directors of Hollywood (who now are non-red thanks to the Cold War) and the special effects crew of the Lord of the Rings!

Referee: Let the games begin!

The fans eat popcorn but then after halftime they start fighting.

The American Hockey Fans vs. The British Football Fans (and by football I mean soccer)

In the end there is no clear winners since the winners destroyed stuff cause the won and the losers because they lost.

The only survivers was Arthur, and most of his army. The only remains of the opposition was a hobbit foot hear and there.

Arthur grins, and all of a sudden, once the cameras have stopped running, John Kerry pulls off a King Arthur mask, as do the rest of the Democrats. From their back pockets they pull out picket signs to mark their territory.

Kerry: I knew Florida would be a tough fight but we came prepared this time! This is my very, no extremely distant relative and financial partner, without his 'moral' support I would never have won (he said as he slapped the guy who had previously worn the Lancelot mask on the back)! Now back to that oil...