Woohoo! This was supposed to be a one-shot at political humor, but due to its recent success... my idea of success is more than 1 review, which I have happily surpassed threefold... I am going to write another short battle, this time to do with Canadian politics. I'm American/Canadian so I follow both... well I have 7 years of learning about Canadian native Americans and the damn French, I mean Quebecois (the language is similar and that's about it) to thank for half of that, and on the other hand a credit of American History, but my teacher went on paternity leave before December so the rest of the year didn't really matter.... Anyways....

What if King Arthur was the leader or premier whatever of Quebec, and the evil Roman Empire Emperor was the leader of the rest of Canada... just suppose they got elected... and now they will fight over whether or not Quebec should become its own country!! Haha the irony is that this issue will be fought over in the future, but I'm using ancient characters... you know the saying that history repeats itself!!

This is when Arthur is arguing with that Roman Religious guy, well they don't actually argue, but they probably did before they agreed so, and Arthur wants Britain to 'officially' separate from Britain.

At the round table:

King Arthur The Premier of Quebec: We don't want to be part of your country anymore! You bully us! (Sticks out tongue)

Religious guy of Rome Representing the Rest of the country: Well we don't want you! The fact that you actually have a legal drinking age means that all the rich people who want a 'nice' place to raise their kids go there! We don't like Suburbia!!

KAT: I take offense to that! How many people do you know who wear blue face faint? Beside the Toronto Maple Leaf fans, they stole our color! Our blue and white fleur-de-lis flag has been disgraced by their blatant disrespect for our culture!

RRRR: Wow that's quite a mouthful... could you repeat that in English?

KAT: That's exactly la probleme! You Anglos do not understand our language our respect our language laws, you are on our land! Your type has to be half the size of our words, and it has to come second! It's the law. I and my Pepsi knights insure that. Vive la liberte!

RRRR: Fine go away! We don't want your hydro electricity nor your bad weather!

KAT: Good we don't want to give it to you! But without it your economy greatly suffers!

RRRR: Yeah right whatever. We give you so much money, while the other colonies (provinces) are starving. You are greedy, you and your barbarians who attack us every time we come to go skiing! And besides if you don't give us energy, then we won't let you use our currency or postal service!

KAT: Oh medre! Fine fine we'll still trade in electricity and we'll throw in maple syrup too!

RRRR: That's better and we still want to use your ski hills!

KAT: We'll only let in people who speak French though. Say non to les Canadiens!

RRRR: Well before we sign the papers that let you go, we vote, in a referendum, with two recounts, that we will first send you on one last quest! We will send you and your party on a quest to France to retrieve your true language because we do not want to give us our second language (as Canada is a bilingual country which has nothing whatsoever to do with Britain...) which is Frenglish (the half French half English way of speaking when you forget the proper words and grammar for either language).

KAT: Grumble grumble tavernaque! Ok ok we go, but we're not happy about it. If you do not let us go after that, we will kill you! We have a very violent history, just ask the Americans.

I understand that it has relatively nothing to do with King Arthur, but I just thought that the events and circumstances were similar and therefore interchangeable!!!... and incomprehensible to most of you... Well then enjoy!

I can explain whatever you don't get. Most of he French is swearing so I won't actually translate that. And since no one will get the "Pepsi knights", its because it is slang for French Canadians, who were reputed to drink Pepsi-Cola for breakfast. An eclectic bunch eh? Lol.

For jokes from Barney's Version by Mordecai Richler:

CANADA IS –

a dictator ship

a post-colonial democracy of limited culture

a theocracy

(The answer will be posted as the next chapter. Take a guess. :D)