And I'm back to American politics... so much easier than Canadian... which is like omg the USA can make us do whatever they want... eek! So this next segment's obviously about the Clinton Legacy. Good job Bill look what you've done, now Hilary's getting into politics. Better make sure she doesn't get into anything else. OOO zing! Anything else like her secretaries pants! That was low... lol pardon the pun there!
Jauli Bass: Guinevere and Arthur, the perfect couple, beautiful wedding, beautiful people, beautiful life. My guess is that it wasn't enough for Guinevere to be queen, to have Arthur, his loyalty, his love, his respect, no she wanted more. She wanted Lancelot. This is Jauli Bass for NTV, and tonight's story is the Round Table Ruckus. We now go to my correspondent at the Round Table, Camelot.
Correspondent #1: Hello, I am Correspondent #1, live from the Round Table, Camelot. Any minute now, the Knights of the Round Table will be addressed first by Queen Guinevere, then by Sir Lancelot, and lastly by King Arturius himself. The conference is about to begin, lets take a look.
Sir Bors: Presenting Queen Guinevere of Britain.
Queen Guinevere enters and sits at the 'head' of the table.
Sir Gawain: Now Queen Guinevere, did you have sex with Sir Lancelot?
Queen Guinevere: No I did not have sex with that man.
Sir Gawain: Ok. Thank-you for your time then.
Sir Galahad: But was it worth it?
Sir Dagonet: Galahad shut-up!
Sir Bors: Presenting Sir Lancelot of the Knights of the Round Table of King Arthur of Britain.
Sir Gawain: Sir Lancelot, did you have sex with Queen Guinevere?
Sir Lancelot: I did indeed!
Sir Gawain: What exactly happened?
Sir Lancelot: Well she came to me the knight before the battle of Hadrian's Wall. She was wearing one of those low cut dresses and it was hanging off her shoulder. I believe that we did it for the good of the country!
Sir Galahad: You mean she didn't want you to die a virgin?
Sir Dagonet: Galahad shut-up!
Sir Bors: Prensenting King Arturius of Britain.
King Arturius enters and sits next to Queen Guinevere, on the side not already occupied by Sir Lancelot.
Sir Gawain: Welcome King Arturius.
King Arturius: Thank-you but you can call me Arthur.
Sir Gawain: Ok then, thank-you for coming out today Arthur. I'm sure this has been very hard on you.
Arthur: Yes of course it has. It is quite a blow to Guinevere's and my relationship, but I stand beside her testimony.
Sir Gawain: What about all the eyewitnesses who said that they saw Guinevere and Lancelot together? Their attraction to each other is undeniable.
Arthur blushes.
Arthur: She said that she did not have "sex" with him.
Sir Galahad: Ooooh I get it now. (winks)
Sir Dagonet: Galahad shut-up!
Sir Gawain: Queen Guinevere do you have anything to say to King Arturius, I mean Arthur?
Queen Guinevere stands up.
Queen Guinevere: Yes I do!
Queen Guinevere stares right at the reporters and Arthur coughs 'inconspicuosly'.
Sir Gawain: Well then?
Queen Guinevere: Arthur (still looking at reporters), I have been here for you since you were made king. My heart belongs to you and only you. You must believe that I will stand by your career forevere! I will become the stay-at-home parent, and you can have the political career for amends! Oh Arthur I love you!
Queen Guinevere starts crying and poses at the videocameras.
Sir Galahad: You skanky hoe! You screwed his best friend!
Sir Dagonet: Galahad shut-up!
Sir Gawain: Arthur you may now address all those ate the round table, and those uh in the room too if you want.
Sir Arthur: Thank-you Guinevere, I love you too. I sincerely hope that this will show the people that I too am human and not just a living legend! I also hope that this event will help to forward my political career! I will open the first ever center for marital relationships, naming it the King and Queen's Society, to help other couples with communication problems such as this and donate money to the television show 'Cheaters'. To Sir Lancelot, I forgive you and I give you the King's ribbon of honor for your fighting in the war, however I will have to let you go.
Arthur smiles at cameras as he presents Lancelot with the tin foil piece of crap that he just made now from part of the table.
Sir Galahad: But he just slept with your wife! Your very hot wife! Off with his head!
Sir Dagonet: Galahad shut-up!
Sir Gawain: Ok theeeen. We will let our representative of the Round Table make his speech now. Presenting Sir Tristan, representative of all the King's horses and all the King's men.
Sir Tristan: (Shrugs) Dude she's hot. (Grins)
Sir Gawain: Thank-you (raises one eyebrow). And that concludes this trial.
Correspondent #1: Well now you've seen it folks! Remember you saw it first and only on NTV! I'm Correspondent #1 at Hadrian's Wall; now back to our anchor, Jauli Bass.
Jauli Bass: Hello! If you just missed our program for the last five minutes, here's a recap! Lancelot is the Monica Lewinski of the time of King Arthur! And Queen Guinevere tells the round table that she "did not have sex with that man." We'll be back in half an hour with any updates on the situation. We will be back after this short commercial break.
Okay! So that was my kick on the Clinton Sex Scandal! Ooo good fun.