Alone I Stand Chapter 10: Something I Can Never Have, an escaflowne fanfic

A/N: WOW! 65 reviews! And I'm really surprised at how many people reviewed from my last update! So thanx to the following: Princess Neptune, hitomi21, Rai Dorian, Blue Demon, Niffer, Neko-Metallium, Shunu No Miko, SabineballZ, Haze, and Snarfburgalar.

Rai Dorian-The reason it said chapter doesn't exist is probably b/c when I first post chap 9 I screwed up so I have to remove it and repost it. Sorry about that

Neko-Metallium, Shunu No Miko, and Haze- I'm glad you guys are all enjoying the fic so far.

Snarfburgalar- yes I have sorta dealt with the death of a family member recently. My cat died in September and he was like my baby. I know what you mean though about folkie-sama; I really pity him. About the going to Gaea thing- you'll all have to wait and see if it's real or not (ie, a vision like you said) I'm not revealing that secret until later. Hehehe. The reason you may be getting a negative reaction about me hating Allen is b/c I'm in a hate Allen phase right now. At times I'll like him but right now I just grrrr……I wanna rip the womanizer to shreds!

Oh, and I hope you Snarfburgalar, and everyone else, is happy with the little surprise in the chap. This chapter is just a bit of a teaser. I plan on adding more soon. But I got the inspiration for this chap from Snarfburgalar's review. So enjoy!

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i still recall the taste of your tears
echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears
my favorite dreams of you still wash ashores
craping through my head 'till i don't want to sleep anymore

you make this all go away
you make this all go away
i'm down to just one thing
and i'm starting to scare myself
you make this all go away
you make this all go away
i just want something
i just want something i can never have

you always were the one to show me how
back then i couldn't do the things that i can do now
this thing is slowly taking me apart
grey would be the color if i had a heart
come on tell me

in this place it seems like such a shame
though it all looks different now,
i know it's still the same
everywhere i look you're all i see
just a fading fucking reminder of who i used to be
come on tell me

you make this all go away
you make this all go away
i'm down to just one thing
and i'm starting to scare myself
you make this all go away
you make it all go away
i just want something
i just want something i can never have
i just want something i can never have

Something I Can Never Have by Nine Inch Nails
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Chapter 10: Something I Can Never Have

When Dilandau awoke the following morning, he felt completely energized; something he hadn't felt in a long time. Before he headed downstairs he peeked his head into Hitomi's room. He had to make sure she didn't attempt suicide again. A feeling relief washed over him as he saw Hitomi sleep peacefully in bed.

As he sat and drank his black coffee, Dilandau became lost in his thoughts. What would have happened between him and Hitomi if the pansy ass knight hadn't intervened? What would have happened if Allen hadn't claimed her as his 'lover'? Would Hitomi be his now? Or would she have stayed with the Dragon? Dilandau shook his head. All the unanswered questions ran through his mind, begging for answers that he didn't have.

As his crimson red eyes moved from the wooden table he caught notice of the time. It was almost eleven and Hitomi hadn't left her room yet. Dilandau debated with himself whether to go up stairs to check on her or not. He rose from his seat and began towards the stairs but stopped. He didn't want to seem like he was intruding on her privacy. Although he was tempted, Dilandau knew she would need some space.

The following Monday morning, Dilandau was able to rip Hitomi from her bedroom and force her to school. She had missed enough days, which really got on Dilandau's nerves. While she sat at home sulking all day long, Dilandau had to sit through most of his classes listening to Yukari or her other friends babble on and on.

Hitomi of course wasn't to thrilled when at seven in the morning Dilandau had marched into her room, pulled away her blankets and dragged her by her arms out of bed. As she rubbed the sleep from her eyes while sitting on the wooden floor, Dilandau threw at Hitomi her school uniform. When she heard the door shut, Hitomi crawled back to her bed and slid in under her blackets. "You better not be going back to bed Kanzaki!" Dilandau yelled from the other side of the door.

Hitomi sighed in defeat. She knew that no matter how hard she tried, Dilandau would always get his way. "Fucking egotistical bastard…" Hitomi muttered under her breath as she sat up. Her eyes drifted from her lap to the pile of clothes on the floor then to her alarm clock. It would be another half hour or so before she'd be dragged to her hellhole school.

There was nothing but silence in the air between Dilandau and Hitomi in the red and black convertible. The only sounds in the air were the music coming from the radio and their own breathing. Hitomi stared out the tinted window wishing the day would just end. Dilandau, on the other hand thought otherwise. He knew that today was going to be different and exciting.

Dilandau and Yukari stood at their chemistry labs both bored out of their minds. They, along with everyone else, waited patiently for their teacher to return with their in-class assignments. When ten minutes had passed, Dilandau got impatient and wasn't afraid to show it. Her tapped his fingertips on the lab-top to the tune of whatever music was going through his mind.

"Where did Fujiwara-san go anyway?" Dilandau asked Yukari who stood leaning against their lab station.

"He said he had to make copies of the assignment then speak to the vp at the main office." Dilandau sighed loudly and looked at the clock. Their teacher had been gone for well over fifteen minutes.

As Dilandau's crimson eyes strayed away from the clock, they caught sight of his new best friend, the Bunsen burner. A spark of life came to his eyes as he looked at the burner. It stood there, begging to be put to use. Dilandau looked over his shoulder and asked Yukari when she thought Fujiwara-san would return.

"Probably not by the end of class." She replied with a hint of sarcasm. Dilandau's eyes completely lit up and grin tugged at his lips. Perfect! He thought while bringing his attention back to the Bunsen burner, which was already set up and ready to be lit.

He grabbed the flint-stone sparker in his right hand and turned on the gas with his left. He turned the gas valve on slowly and brought the sparker to an angle above the burner. As he sparked the sparker, a flame burst out from the burner. Dilandau made a quick look over his shoulder to check on Yukari. She was having a conversation with some other classmates on the other side of the room.

Dilandau adjusted the flame and watched in delight as it grew larger and larger before his eyes. Oh the memories we have…burning down villages and Fanelia…those were the days…Dilandau was grinning cheerfully. Hey…why don't I make NEW memories!! A diabolical grin came to his face.

Dilandau grabbed a piece of paper from his notebook and lit it on fire. He placed it on the lab-top and grabbed another piece and lit it on fire. By now, all the students had brought their attention to their pyromaniac classmate. No one really said anything and chose to just watch. Others whispered and wondered if Dilandau would succeed in burning down the school this time.

Dilandau didn't even notice anyone watching him. He could barely even hear the sounds of their loud whispers. His red eyes stayed transfixed on the flame and the ashes of the papers before him. But Dilandau wasn't absentminded as some may have guessed. He was thinking; thinking of a way to set their classroom in flames.

Then it hit him when he looked at the rubber gas tube attached to the burner. He and Yukari had gotten the long tube this time. It could easily stretch over to the curtains on the window. Dilandau's grin only grew bigger.

Five minutes later the entire student body and the school staff was evacuated from the school. Thick black clouds of smoke billowed out of the science wing windows on the main floor of the school. When the flashy red fire trucks arrived, most of the females of the student body watched the firefighters in awe as they ran into the school with the long fire hose.

Yukari stood beside Dilandau with her arms folded across her chest. Dilandau took quick notice of the disappointed look on her face. "What? What'd I do wrong?"

"Oh Dilandau…you just could control yourself could you? You just had to try and burn the school down again."

"Well at least we get half the day off school though." Dilandau stated trying to be optimistic.

"You know, if I were you, I'd be high tailing my ass out of here before the authorities show up."

"You know, you're absolutely right Yukari. Wanna come for a ride?" Yukari looked at Dilandau and thought really hard about what to do. If he's crazy with fire then I don't know if I want to be in the same car as him, especially if he's the one driving… "Well? I'm waiting…"

"Alright, alright. But I'll only go if Hitomi does."

"Sure, no problem. You get Hitomi and meet my at my car." Yukari nodded and left.

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"Hitomi!" Yukari shouted as she ran up to her friend.

"Hey Yukari!" Hitomi replied and waved. "Do you know what happened?"

"Ya, Dilandau torched the classroom." Hitomi didn't seem surprised. She knew it was only a matter of time until Dilandau did try to burn down the school. "So ya, we're getting our asses out of here before the cops show. Wanna come?"

"Uhhhh……do I have to? Can't I just stay here?" Yukari sighed and put her arm around Hitomi's shoulder.

"Hitomi, school's been cancelled for the afternoon. You can hang around here and be bored out of your mind or you can come with me and have fun. So which will it be?" Hitomi looked at Yukari and knew that she wouldn't stop bugging her until she said yes.

"Are you two coming or not?!" Dilandau shouted out the window of his convertible as he pulled up to the two girls.

"Ya!" Yukari shouted back and turned back to Hitomi with a pleading look on her face. "Come on. At least do it for me!" Hitomi sighed and nodded.