Tickle-Me-Gerbil
by, GT
Chapter 1, "Popcorn Clicky happy Mayhem"
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Hey you.....yeah you with the shifty eyes. Name's Marie. I'm like everyone else..normal. y'know.....normal as in....oh hell I forgot but, I'll remember it sooner or later. What the fuck am I talking about you ask? I'll tell ya. It all started when I was completely board out of my wits while playing chess...WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?! Well, anyway my mom called me for dinner, mashed 'tatoes and chicken..as usual. I had the remote in my hand at the moment...and well, it fell into the bowl of potatoes. Somehow the batteries wiggled their way out and a big gunk of potatoes lodged itself into the remote...I'll get to that later. After dinner while flipping through infomercials and crappy crap of crapdom, till I gazed on a familiar commercial;
NEW NS-5!
what will you do with yours?
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I,robot was the first thing that came into my mind and with a sarcastic tone..I groaned "whoop-de-friggin-doo" as soon as the little ditty commercial faded in bright red letters:
GET YOUR VERY OWN NS-5 WITH
TICKET PURCHASE!
After seeing that, I was drooling with anticipation and ran out (literally after running into the sliding door) of the house to the nearby theatre. After a few blocks my posse' spotted me. They yoinked my collar neck and gave me a noogie and repeatedly askin' "WHERE YA GOIN?!" I just slowly sputtered out "Me go see I, robot..get free slave.." My friends just gawked at me and grabbed my collar without hesitation and dragged across hard, raggedy pavement....and maybe one pothole..but we got there in precise time. There was a long line. Mike just came up with the idea of jabbin' a few folks just to get ahead...believe it or not it worked! As soon as we got into the theatre I still had the remote in my pocket. I placed it on the chair arm and kicked back while watchin' the mini ads on the big ass screen. My friends were dawdlin' over a mini plushie of Will Smith. I just rolled my eyes and chuckled a bit.The smell of aged bubblegum & freshly buttered popcorn shoved itself in my nostrils as I sipped my soda still staring at the ads ahead of me. The lights began to dim as everyone started shushing everyone else.
As we watched we were blown away by the graphics, but for some reason I was not enjoying myself. I kept thinking of my very own NS-5 Slave that I began to click and fondle with the remote...after the 76th click all the lights went completely off. I was kinda panicking like a monkey stuck in a pinata. Then the lights went back on....but the theatre didn't look like no theatre.....it looked more like a lab. I was surrounded by several unfunctional NS-5's I went crazy with confusion and started trying to figure out what the hell is going on! I tried messin' with the door but this voice kept repeating; "unauthorized employee". I ws extremely frustrated. One of the NS-5's that was actually functional noticed my frustration and asked in a calm and gentle voice; "May I be of assistance?". I just stared at 'im which made me even more frustrated. Thinking to myself; "AM I IN THE FUCKING MOVIE?!" The NS-5 poked me in the shoulder and asked again. I roughly shrugged off the poke and said" NO! I don't need yer god damn help!" It looked like he was disappointed and upset, but that surely didn't help my frustration.
He once again spoke in a soft tone; "My name is Sonny....." I just stared at him and busted up laughing! He was a bit confused of my laughter and tilted his head in somesort of curiosity, then started laughing along. After sighing with go-happiness I offered him a nice hearty hand shake; "Nice to meet you...erm...Sonny. My names Marie!" While shaking he introduced me to VIKI. My thoughts were running with excitement. "I'm in the movie..THE ACTUAL MOVIE!" I said outloud. Sonny looked at me with a confuseed gaze; "Movie?....This is no movie....this is quite real" He pokes me again to prove his statement. I stared with a panicked face, my go-happiness faded and I started once again getting frustrated. "OMG OMG! I'm stuck here, and I can'ty get home...uh..." I took out the remote and started pressing random numbers..till Finally I began stomping on the remote out of pure anger.
After several screams of "I FUCKING HATE TECHNOLOGY!" A doctor strutted in. Her name was Calvin...a women...named Calvin...strange...oh well. She was quite furious when she saw me on the floor with a broken remote in my hand. She asked me who the hell I am and what the hell I'm doing here. I tried explaning to her but resulted with me getting the boot. I couldn't help but notice Sonny's gaze on me which creeps the hell outta me. After staring back at the door entrance I began strolling the area. Watching robots everywhere whirring with each step. I read some of the bill boards thinking; "Dammit, now I'll never get my fucking free slave-.-"......