I know that anyone here knows how to read and therefore have some sort of common sense telling the the obvious, I don't own DB anything.

Falling All Over Again

Chapter 1: Journal Entry

Pan walked out of the bathroom into her room in blue pajamas and stood in the middle of the room. She rotated her head slowly; laying her eyes on everything she saw and imprinted them permanently in her memory. Her room was simple with sparse furniture, like all the other dorms. She inhaled deeply and could still detect the slight traces of paint fumes. She looked at the newly white walls and wished she didn't have to paint over the murals she had worked so hard on. All students at Okinawa Writer's School were instructed to be creative when decorating their rooms, the instructors said it kept the mind open and at peace. It was really fun, she ruined her clothes from all the paint stains but it was worth it all. She had made open plains, forests, lakes, waterfalls, everything from grandma Chichi's backyard. What she was really proud of though was her design of Shenlong in the sky.

It spanned from one corner of her room to the other, took her almost a week to finish it. It had amazing detail with scales and numerous claws armed with nails. Because of her efforts her room was immediately recognized as the most colorful and she got an A. That part really surprised her and all those in her class; they didn't know decorating their rooms was counted as an assignment. Apparently they learned that anything worth doing is worth doing your best. Now all she looked at was white pristine walls, no trace of her magnificent artwork. It no longer felt like her room, it was foreign to her now even though she spent a year living in this room. Everything was clean and clear, it was empty, and that's how she felt.

Pan moved forward to turn off the main light in the room making it pitch black. With practiced ease she made her way to the bed she used and on the table to the right of it turned on a lamp. From the table she pulled out a small drawer and picked out a small black book with a pen. She sat in the bed and leaned on the wall then opened the book and flipped through its pages till she came to a blank paper. She then opened the pen and began to write in the book before she spent the last night at Okinawa Writer's School.

Hi Journal,

It seems this will be the last night I spend her in this room. That is unless I decide to come back for next school year, but I don't think that will happen. I miss my family too much to leave for another year. Plus I think if I tried to leave again mom and grandma would chain me to my bed. :D Wow, I'm technically a senior now! I didn't think about that much until now, and I'll be going back to OSH. It'll be fun to see all my old friends again. But I'll also really miss my friends that I made here. So much stuff has happened here to me in just a year I wonder if I'm the same person that left home a year ago. Did I change? No, I don't think I changed much. I'm still Pan, maybe a bit more sarcastic, but still me. Did anyone back home change? Man, I'm getting butterflies just thinking about returning, will things go back to the way they used to be? As if I never left in the first place? I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Kami, I'm gonna miss this place soooo much! I'll miss my teachers, the staff, my afternoon jogs, playing baseball, everything. Even the disgusting food and the creepy cafeteria lady! I'll always have my memories that I will cherish. This is the place where I found myself. I found out who I am and what I want to do with my life. I became my own person here. I also got into a lot of trouble. Like Halloween Prank Night and 'borrowing' the streets sign. Ha-ha, they still don't know that I still have it! That's also around the time I had my first kiss with Kai, then my first boyfriend; followed later with my first breakup. But after all that drama we became great friends, I'm gonna miss him too. I know I'm blabbering but I'm gonna miss Mina, Jess, Jaime, Cyrus, Koga…

I'm scared. I know I told you before that I don't think about her anymore but I still do. She is always at the back of my mind and I'm scared to see her again. To tell the truth she is the reason I left, what will it be like to see her again. I'm over all that but I still want to be her friend, we've always been friends. What if it's been so long that we have grown apart and can't get the friendship back again? All this worrying is for nothing, It's just gonna make it hard for me to sleep. So I will say goodnight and finally go to sleep. Goodnight.

Pan laid her journal on the table and switched the lamp off. She adjusted herself on the bed in a comfortable position on her back so she could stare at the ceiling. She was lying to herself, what she wrote in her journal was a lie. Beneath the sheets her fists tightly clenched as she dug her nails into her palm. No matter what I always seem to lie to someone, and now I am lying to myself. Why can't I ever just say the truth?! The truth is that I never stopped thinking about her. The pain is dormant but it is still there. Why can't I just tell her what I feel? Pan released her fists and closed her eyes to take a deep breathe. Because I'm scared, at least I didn't lie about that part. A tear squeezed between her shut lids and rolled off her cheek. She never let anyone see her cry, no one, but in the dark she let the tears out. Feeling physically, emotionally, and mentally drained Pan fell asleep.

A/N

Next chapter will be more interesting that these last sleep inducing entries. So aren't you curious. Whatever.