Anime Christmas Special Chapter 8: How the Screws Stole Christmas, an anime x-overs fanfic

Anime Christmas Special

Ch. 8; How the Screws Stole Christmas

December 19th, we move in to see Ikki & Metabee reading a common Dr. Seuss book known as 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas.' Metabee asks, "I don't know about this, Ikki. Why couldn't the short story be, 'How the Rubber Robo Gang Stole Christmas?'" Ikki shrugs, "We should start it anyway. First the famous song."

——Mr. Grinch——

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch

You really are a heel,

You're as cuddly as a cactus; you're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch,

You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch,

Your heart's an empty hole,

Your brain is full of spiders; you have garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch,

I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch,

You have termites in your smile,

You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch,

Given a choice between the two of you I'd take the seasick crocodile!

You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch,

You're the king of sinful sots,

Your heart's a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots, Mr. Grinch,

You're a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch,

With a nauseous super "naus"!

You're a crooked dirty jockey and you drive a crooked hoss, Mr. Grinch,

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots!

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch,

You're a nasty wasty skunk,

Your heart is full of unwashed socks; your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Grinch,

The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote, "Stink, stank, stunk"!

——End Song——

Ikki says to us, "Star AJT 84 foresaw our future selves and found our teenaged selves much cooler." Arika came by in a pink, red, blue, & white Christmas dress and mentions; "He even made a parody Christmas song for the Screws. Here it is——"

You're a hot one, Lady Sam

You really are a meal,

You're as cuddly as a tigress, a lot more charming than an eel, Lady Sam,

You're a good banana with a… sexy smooth peel!

You're a feline, Lady Sam,

Your heart's a big jungle,

Your brain is full of catnip; you have fish stick in your soul, Lady Sam,

Who wouldn't touch you with a… three-millimeter pole?

You're a cool one, Lady Sam,

You have starlight in your smile,

You have all the cleverness of a sphinx from the Nile, Lady Sam,

Given a choice between you I cannot take the… sphinx from the Nile!

You're a fat one, Mr. Sloan

You really are a heel,

You're as cuddly as a warthog, and as charming than an eel, Mr. Sloan,

You're a fat banana with a… really thin peel!

You're a glutton, Mr. Sloan,

Your tummy's a bottomless hole,

Your brain is full of pizza; you have garlic in your soul, Mr. Sloan,

I wouldn't touch you with a… thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

You're a killer, Mr. Sloan,

You have some red juice in your smile,

You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Sloan,

Given a choice between the two of you I'd take the… seasick crocodile!

You're a scared one, Mr. Spyke

You really are a meal,

You're as loyal as a canine, and as charming as a seal, Mr. Spyke,

You're a skinny orange with a… very thick peel!

You're a coward, Mr. Spyke,

Your courage is an empty hole,

Your brain is full of rockets; you have scars on your soul, Mr. Spyke,

I'd like to hit you with a… thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

You're a fierce one, Mr. Spyke,

You have sharp fangs in your smile,

You have all the tender sweetness of a jackal from the Nile, Mr. Spyke,

Given a choice between the two of you I'd take the jackal from the Nile!

After hearing Star AJT 84's Christmas song Sam blushed, Sloan said nothing, and Spyke felt proud of himself (even though he was disappointed at first). Koji Karakuchi (the cool dude with Sumilodon) said, "I'm feeling crept out here!" Karin Jomai (the pretty girl with Neutra-Nurse) said, "Can we please get the show on the road? Oh, how does that phrase go again?"

——Begin short story——

We see Tokyo decorated from the ground up with Christmas decorations.

(A/N: This is set in a time 10 years into the future, after the 2nd season of Medabots, so expect them to be adults now)

Everybody in Tokyo loves Christmas a lot.

But the Screws, who now live away from Tokyo…

Do not!

The Screws hate Christmas, the whole Christmas season!

Don't ask me why; no one quite knows the reason.

It could be that Sloan's head's not screwed on just right.

It could be that Sam's shoes were too tight.

It could even be that poor Spyke's courage is not in the place just right.

But I think the most likely reason of all…

May have been that their hearts are each three sizes too small.

But whatever the reason, their hearts or Sam's shoes…

They stood on one of the buildings on Christmas Eve, hating you-know-whose!

Staring down from their lair, each with sour screwy frowns, at the warm-lighted windows below in the town.

They knew that everyone beneath was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.

"And they're hanging their stockings," Sam growled with a sneer.

"Tomorrow is Christmas, is practically here!" Spyke

Then Sloan growled with his fat fingers, nervously drumming.

"We must find some way to keep Christmas from coming!"

For tomorrow they know, all the human & Medabot girls and boys——

They will wake bright and early; they'd rush for their toys!

And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! The noise! Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!

That's one thing the Screws hate! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

Then the people of Tokyo, young and old, will sit down to a feast.

And they'd feast! And they'd feast!

And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!

They'll eat their Christmas pudding, and rare Christmas roast beasts!

"Which is something we can't stand the least!" Sam

And THEN they'd do something the Screws liked least doing most of all;

Everyone, the tall and the small; Will stand close together with Christmas music ringing.

They'd stand hand-in-hand, and those fools will start singing!

They'd sing! And they'd sing!

AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!

Spyke realized, "Oh, no!" Sam asked Spyke, "What's wrong, Spyke?" Spyke cried out, "We're speaking in rhymes!"

Together the Screws cried out, "CURSE YOU, TOKYO!"

And the more the Screws thought of what Christmas would bring,

The more the Screws thought, "We must stop this whole thing!" Spyke

"Why for year after year we've put up with it now!" Sam

"We must stop Christmas from coming," Sloan "…But how?" Spyke

Spyke gasped, "I mean, we mean… 'In what way?'"

As soon as they got indoors, they saw their Medabots; Pepper Cat, Totalizer, & Crosser Dog, watching Christmas DVD's. Sam sneered, "Are you having a holly, jolly… Christmas?" Pepper Cat noticed her and shrieked, "Yes!"

Outside the shack the Screws live together in, we see the three Medabots get thrown out the door and into the snow banks, Spyke yelled, "Wrong-o!"

As the poor Medabots crawled out… Sam picked up Crosser Dog by the left arm and yelled in his face; "If you 3 aren't going to help us, than you might as well——"

She stopped in mid-sentence; she noticed the beard-like clump of snow on the blue Medabot's chin.

Then Sam got an idea!

An awful idea!

THE SCREWS GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just what to do," Sam laughed in her throat.

Sam laughed, "Ha!"

And the Screws made a few quick Christmas hats and coats.

Spyke said while working, "I'm grateful for being good in Home Economics back in school, which I loathe entirely!"

And they chuckled and clucked during this great Screwy trick,

"With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like St. Nick." Sloan

Sam & Spyke look like elves, while Sloan got the opportunity to be in a Santa outfit.

And then, collecting as much equipment they could find secretly… they built together a sleigh designed to steal Christmas from Japan as quickly as possible.

As they carefully watched out for Santa Claus leaving the area (they saw him)…

"All we need are reindeer…" Spyke

Sam looked around.

But since reindeer aren't native to Japan, there is none to be found.

Did that stop the Screw gang?

No! Sloan simply said,

"If we can't find some reindeer, we'll make some instead."

Knowing what they're planning to do: Pepper Cat, Totalizer, & Crosser Dog ran for cover!

So the Screws called their Medabots, and they took some colored thread,

And they tied sets of antlers on the top of each of the metal heads.

Pepper Cat groans, "I hope no Medabot is awake when we get down there." Totalizer slowly said, "I look more like a panda with antlers on a turtle." Crosser Dog said, "What's with the red nose? Do I really have to play the Rudolph of these 'reindeer'?"

Spyke said to his Medabot, "Well, we hate Christmas! We want to steal it! What do you do, Rudolph?"

Crosser Dog thinks it over and cleanly shoots off the red nose off his face!

Spyke congratulated his Medabot, "Brilliant, you reject your own nose because it represents the glitter of commercialism!"

THEN

The Screws loaded some bags

And some old empty sacks

On the newly-built sleigh

And they loaded in battery packs.

As soon as Sloan turned the sleigh on… KABOOM! The twin turbo engines on the sides of the sleigh erupted and shot the sleigh up the ramp it was on and forward into the sky!

And the sleigh started the sky around

And around the homes where the citizens

Lay asleep in their town, around.

The Screws screamed as their flying sleigh zoomed, twisted, and turned!

Feeling scared, they loudly screamed, "We're gonna die! We're gonna die!" before saying, "MY HAIR'S GONNA BE MESSY!" Sam "I'M GONNA THROW UP!" Sloan & "I'M GONNA WET MY PANTS!" Spyke and then, together, they screamed, "AND THEN WE'RE GONNA DIE!"

Crosser Dog held onto his diamond filament bungee cord, attached to the sleigh, screamed, "Meda-Mommy; MAKE IT STOP!" Totalizer held onto his handles, "Maybe the stabilizers need a little more 'OOMF'!" Pepper Cat took her plug-like claws to the electronics of the sleigh and shouted, "Electric shocker claws!" Electricity sparked from her claws and flowed them into the sleigh's circuits, the stabilizers worked!

As the Screws calmed down… Sloan got back to driving the vehicle, "Almost lost my cool there."

All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.

Everyone else is all dreaming sweet dreams without care.

When they came to the first little home on the square…

Sam hissed, "Ikki Tenryo's old house. Wonder if he had kids yet?" Spyke asked, "How do we know if he's still here, boss?" Sloan answered, "He inherited it from his parents, we've heard this on TV, you coward."

"This stop number one," the hot Sam elf hissed.

They all landed on the roof, empty bags in each fist.

Individually, the Screws went down the chimney…

Then they slid down the chimney, avoiding its rather wide flue

Hey, if Santa could do it, then so could each Screw.

As it became Sloan's turn to come down… VOOMP!

Sloan got stuck only once, for a moment or two.

Sam sighed, "You fat idiot." Sloan defended, "It's my blasted water weight; it goes straight to my hips!" Spyke hushed his comrades, "A little more stealth please? They're asleep! And it looks like a slumber party's being held here."

Then Sloan (finally) stuck his head out of the fireplace flue; where the stuffed up stockings all hung in a row.

"These stockings," Sam grinned, " are the first things to go!"

Pepper Cat placed an electromagnet attachment glove on her left claws and turned it on, pulling off all the nails that held the stockings. Crosser Dog caught them all with one of the sacks.

Then they slithered and slunk, with smiles most unpleasant, around the whole room, and they took every present!

And they stuffed them in bags. Then the Screws, very nimbly, stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!

Then Sloan slunk to the icebox.

Sloan's sneaking was like a fat cat's, but it works perfectly. He grinned, "Slunk!"

They took the Christmas feast!

They took the Christmas pudding! They took the roast beast! (A big roast turkey)

Sloan quietly yelled, "2-42!" as it was football! Spyke said, "Go!" Sloan tossed the turkey to Spyke, who caught it with ease with the sack of other foods!

They cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.

Why, the Screws even took the last can of corn beef hash!

Then, they stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.

"And NOW!" grinned Sam, "We will stuff up the tree!"

And Sloan grabbed the tree, and he started to shove——

A young woman's voice yawning was heard from somewhere! They stopped in their process and froze!

when they heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.

They turned around fast, and they saw a young woman!

Karin Jomai, who is now more woman than any woman.

The Screws have been caught by this brown-haired nurse granddaughter, who'd got up from bed for a cup of cold water.

Afraid that she would recognize them, the Screws froze in place.

She stared at poor Sloan and asked, "Santa Claus, why? Why are you taking Arika & Ikki's Christmas tree? WHY?"

Surprisingly, the disguises fooled her!

But, you know, the Screw gang was so smart and so slick; Sloan thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!

"Why, my sweet little girl," the fake Santa Claus lied, "There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side.

"So we're taking it home to our workshop, my dear. We'll fix it up there. Then we'll bring it back here."

Karin then asked, "Ms. Elf (Sam), what do yo think Christmas is about?"

Knowing that Sam would say the wrong words, Spyke innocently covered his boss's mouth and answered his best answer, "Presents we suppose."

Karin sighed, "I was afraid of that."

And Sloan's fib fooled the woman. Then he patted her head, and he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.

Before going to bed, Karin said to Sloan, "Santa. Don't forget the Screws. I know they seem really mean and evil. But I think somewhere inside them… they're really sweet, like they used to be long ago."

Those words reached Sam & Spyke's ears; Sam silently asked, "Sweet?" Spyke followed, "She thinks we're sweet?"

Karin yawned, "Merry Christmas, Santa."

And when Karin Jomai went to bed with her cup,

Spyke sighed, "Sweet girl." Sam said, "Odd judge of character."

SLOAN went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!

Then the last thing they took

Was the log for their fire!

Then they went up the chimney, themselves, the young liars.

On the walls they left nothing but hooks and some wires.

And the one speck of food that they left in the house… was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.

Then they did the same thing to the other buildings and houses; Leaving crumbs much too small for the other people's MOUSES!

It was not only the homes they raided while everyone else was asleep; they also stole cash and credit cards, etc. In a house that belongs to another rich young woman named Suzanne, Sloan stole an engagement ring from her while she slept. Before leaving, Sloan lashed his tongue at her… almost close enough to steal her first kiss!

Sam saw this and scornfully whispered, "What is going on here?" Sloan said, "Uh… I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus?" Spyke groaned, "She's not a mother, she's not even married yet, St. Nick! So let's make her cry first."

Long ago, Sloan was head-over-heels in love with this 'nearly-equal-to-Karin' beautiful Suzanne, but then he heard a month ago, she was proposed to by the one true bully in his life, Ned Nether-wits!

Onto Ned's house, Sloan went to take everything from him! In his sleep, Ned said, "Oh, Suzanne!" Sloan felt a vein twitch in his left temple. Ned continued to sleep-talk, "Would you kiss a man who made money donating a lot of his own blood and lost a lot of fat by means of liposuction?"

An evil thought rang in Sloan's mind, a pulled out a mouth-worn voice changer, placed it over his mouth, programmed it, and said in Suzanne's voice, "No, silly! But I'm dying to find out!"

He grabbed onto Sam, covered her mouth, pulled down her pants—— AND IN SUZANNE'S VOICE SLOAN SAID, "JUST KISS ME YOU FOOL!" Sam screamed through Sloan's hand as she felt it down her pants!

(A/N: All those who don't want to know what happened, leave the room!)

As they left that jerk's house, Sam felt mortified while Sloan felt pleased with himself.

The last thing they've done; was having Spyke pulling the power on the city!

It was two hours until dawn…

Everyone is still in bed and asleep. The Screws' sleigh is filled up with all the Christmas decorations and presents from all-over Tokyo.

Crosser Dog took the wheel of the flying sleigh, and they all flew towards Mt. Fuji!

Several thousand feet up! Towards the side of Mt. Fuji's summit,

They rode with their load to the tiptop to dump it!

As they stopped at the edge of the crater… Sam (after wiping her butt with toilet paper) cheered, "WE DID IT!"

"Pooh-Pooh to the people of Tokyo!" Sam was fiendishly humming.

"They're finding out that no Christmas is coming!" Sloan (While getting ready to dump the load)

"They're waking up!" Spyke "I know just what they'll do!

"Their mouths will hang open for a minute or two

"Then the citizens and Medabots will all cry BOO-HOO!" Sam

And Sam was right… but only for a moment. For don't know what else is going on down there…

"That's a noise," grinned the Screws, "That we simply must hear!"

So they paused. And the Screws each placed a hand to their ears.

And they did hear a sound rising over the snow.

It started in low. Then it started to grow…

Sam shrieked, "What? That's sound's not sad!" Spyke mentions, "Why, it sounds… merry!"

It couldn't be so!

But it WAS merry! VERY!

They stared down at Tokyo! The Screws popped their eyes!

Then they shook! What they saw was a shocking surprise!

Everybody down in Tokyo; the tall and the small,

Was singing! Without any presents at all!

They HAVEN'T stopped Christmas from coming!

IT CAME!

Somehow or other, it came just the same!

——Angels We Have Heard on High ——

Angels we have heard on high,

Singing sweetly through the night,

And the mountains in reply

Echoing their brave delight.

Gloria in excelsis Deo.

Shepherds, why this jubilee?

Why these songs of happy cheer?

What great brightness did you see?

What glad tiding did you hear?

Gloria in excelsis Deo.

Come to Bethlehem and see

Him whose birth the angels sing;

Come, adore on bended knee

Christ, the Lord, the new-born King.

Gloria in excelsis Deo.

See him in a manger laid

Whom the angels praise above;

Mary, Joseph, lend your aid,

While we raise our hearts in love.

Gloria in excelsis Deo.

——End Song——

Then the Screws, with their poor feet ice-cold in the snow,

Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"

"It came without ribbons!" Sam

"It came without tags!" Spyke

"It came without packages, boxes, or bags!" Sloan

And they puzzled an hour, until their puzzler was sore.

Spyke groaned at this slight headache, "OW!"

Then the Screws thought of something they haven't before!

"Maybe Christmas," they each thought, "Doesn't come from a store.

"Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means a little bit more!"

Suddenly, they each felt a great warmth in their souls, melting the snow around them.

And what happened then…?

Well… in Tokyo they say

That the Screws' small hearts

Each grew thirty-three sizes that day!

Sam warmly looks at her gang, with tears in her eyes, "Guys?" Spyke looked at Sam, "Yes, Sam?" She exclaimed, "I LOVE YOU!"

Sloan watched the smooch-a-thon between Sam & Spyke! He looked at Crosser Dog & Pepper Cat doing the same. He looked at the ring he stole from Suzanne, and he felt the winds pick up.

He looked at the sleigh… the wind's forcing it to slowly slide down into Mt. Fuji's crater! Sloan gasped, "The sleigh! The presents!" Spyke & Sam looked at it and realized, "They'll be destroyed! And we care!" Sloan asked himself, "WHAT IS THE DEAL?"

"NO! It mustn't happen! It shouldn't!" Sam

"It couldn't! It won't!" It wouldn't!" Sloan

"Not now, not then, not ever again!" Spyke

Before the sleigh could inch even deeper, the Screws shouted, "NO!" and held on tightly to the sleigh!

Now that the true meaning of Christmas finally came through…

Spyke & Crosser Dog lifted the sleigh over their heads! Sam became impressed with this newfound strength, "Oh, Spyke!" Spyke & Crosser Dog grinned in unison, "Light as a feather!"

Spyke & Crosser Dog found the strength of 90 Screw gangs, times two!

And now the minute the Screws' hearts didn't feel quite so tight,

They whizzed with their load through the bright morning light!

While the Medabots are driving it down the mountain, the Screws are skiing along with the sleigh on bare shoes! As Sam was launched into the air, "SPREAD EAGLE!" She nailed it and landed into her seat! Spyke cheerfully slid into his seat and kissed Sam on the cheek!

Sloan got launched into the air, as he looked down… "Oh! This is gonna hurt!" He fell straight down into his seat safely! Spyke asked his old friend, "Are you alright?" Sloan hissed out, "Are you kidding?" Then he smiled, "The sun is shining and the ride is bitching! Now scoot over, I wanna drive!"

In Tokyo, everyone saw the Screws' sleigh and got out of the way, as the sleigh was about to slow down, Sloan noticed that the brakes are broken! Sloan screamed, "We're gonna crash!" Sam said to her friends, "Now, listen here; even if we are horribly mangled. There will be no sad faces on Christmas."

And for once, Sam was right about one thing. The sleigh crashed, landing the load in the hands of their true owners! Luckily, the Screws survived!

Ikki (who's grown up to be an Official Medafighter) looks at the Screws and asked, "Sam? Screws?" Sam sighed, "Yeah, Ikki. We're the Screws who stole Christmas. And we're sorry." She held out her wrists as if handcuffs are going to be on her wrists.

Ikki patted her back and smiles, "I forgive you, old friend." Arika agrees, "Me too!" Everyone follows, except Ned Nether-wits! As he was about to have under arrest, Suzanne stepped in his way!

Ned said, "Suzanne, get out of my way!" Suzanne smashed the box with the engagement ring within it in Ned's face! He notices it and begins to cry, "Why?" Suzanne directs her attention towards Sloan and answers, "My heart belongs to another."

Sloan was confused; he looked around himself to see whom. He points to himself in curiosity at Suzanne. Suzanne nodded and kissed him on the cheek. Immediately, Sloan got happy to call out, "Ho-ho-ho!"

——Hallelujah Chorus——

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

for the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth.

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

for the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth.

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

for the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth.

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

The kingdom of this world is become

the Kingdom of our Lord and of His Christ, and of His Christ;

and He shall reign for ever and ever

King of Kings,