While they Walked
Chapter 6: Intimacy
Boromir was returning to the real world after a short break of daydreaming while they ate their midnight meal. He stood up and brushed himself down and was welcomed back to reality by the sound of Pippin yelping.
"No Merry! Stop it! I don't need your 'help' as you put it. Ow!" As far as Boromir could see Merry was hitting Pippin on the bottom. Boromir couldn't see how that could ever be thought of as help.
"Merry, what are you doing?" Boromir asked.
"I'm helping Pippin get some feeling back into his bottom." He grinned innocently.
"I knew I shouldn't have mentioned it." Grumbled Pippin.
"I'm sorry Pippin." Said Merry and he opened his arms for a hug. Pippin grudgingly obliged. Boromir saw, along with the rest of the company, what was about to happen. Merry drew his arm up and brought it down upon Pippin's bottom as hard as he could. All but Legolas and Gandalf winced while pippin let lose a great cry and pushed Merry away from him.
"Will you two keep quiet? The orcs in Mordor will hear you if you keep this up." Merry and Pippin quietened while Merry laughed and Pippin massaged is bottom.
"There's going to a bruise, I'll wager. Or if not that, it'll be red for another week."
"The same could apply for my hand." Merry stared at his reddening hand.
"Your hand!" said Pippin and was given a warning glance by Gandalf, "Your hand!" he repeated quietly, "That's the least of my worries."
"Your bottom's not numb any more is it?"
"No, and that's half of the problem!"
"Oh Pippin, I really am sorry now. Truly." He beckoned Pippin in for another hug.
"You're completely sorry?"
"Utterly sorry. Forgive me." Pippin went to Merry's arms again and was rewarded with a great big hug. The fellowship began walking again, Merry, Pippin and Boromir dropped to the back.
"Are all hobbits as intimate as you?"
"Intimate?" Merry and Pippin glanced mischievously at one another and suddenly Merry swept Pippin up in his arms.
"Oh Merry!" said Pippin in a very bad imitation of a feminine voice. And then they shared a kiss. One that Boromir thought was inappropriate for cousins, he'd never kissed his cousins as they weren't very close, but the last time he'd kissed his brother in anything that came near that way he had been ten. Pippin broke it by giggling.
"I can't hold you for much longer Pippin."
"Don't you dare drop me!" And so it was that they both ended up on the ground, Merry's arms had given way and Pippin had tried to hold on, but only succeeded in dragging Merry down with him. They were laughing so hard they had trouble dragging themselves up again. Neither of them could look at Boromir's face because it only made them laugh harder.
"Ignore them Boromir." Frodo came to the rescue and gave both Merry and Pippin condescending looks. "No, hobbits aren't usually as intimate as that, but the hugging is quite normal. The extravagant kissing, where does that come from?"
"Well," said Merry, still recovering from the laughter. "We developed it for hiding in the Dragon."
"We hid in the kitchen, the cleaning cupboard, the pantry-
"We should hide there again." Interrupted Merry with a blissful smile on his face.
"Under the kitchen sink, even in the rafters-"
"I remember that, you caused quite the fuss."
"You're the ones who were hiding in the rafters?" Said Sam, "I'll have to tell May when we get back, she always wondered about that."
"Yes, but none of those places worked and the punishment for failing to come back from the Dragon and then trying to hide is not pleasant."
"Once when we were being dragged from the Dragon in fear and shame we noticed a couple kissing, they were ignoring the world around them completely and no one was disturbing them. That, of course sparked an idea in our minds."
"Whenever there was hint of Uncle Paladin or my own father turning up, then we'd sneak into a badly lit corner and pretend to be a courting couple."
"So every time you disappeared for hours when you were staying with me and even your own fathers couldn't find you, you were in the Dragon as always?"
"As always." Agreed Merry. Frodo shook his head in disbelief.
"What would your fathers do if they found out?"
"That's not a thought I'd like to entertain, but you know that if anyone decided it would be a good idea to inform a parent of our past wrong-doings it is entirely possibly that the rest of their life would not be spent being the healthiest they've ever been.
"Your secret is safe with us, isn't it?" said Frodo.
"Aye, that it is." Said Sam.
"Boromir?" said the four hobbits, turning on him.
"Yes, yes of course." He could see hobbits could be a formidable force if they banded together. "I'll remember to say nothing if ever I see more of your families."
"You will most certainly see more of our families, for if you are ever to come to the Dragon then it will be hard to miss them."
"I thought you said you lived twenty miles from the Dragon?"
"We also said the ale was the best in Middle-earth."
Chapter 6: Intimacy
Boromir was returning to the real world after a short break of daydreaming while they ate their midnight meal. He stood up and brushed himself down and was welcomed back to reality by the sound of Pippin yelping.
"No Merry! Stop it! I don't need your 'help' as you put it. Ow!" As far as Boromir could see Merry was hitting Pippin on the bottom. Boromir couldn't see how that could ever be thought of as help.
"Merry, what are you doing?" Boromir asked.
"I'm helping Pippin get some feeling back into his bottom." He grinned innocently.
"I knew I shouldn't have mentioned it." Grumbled Pippin.
"I'm sorry Pippin." Said Merry and he opened his arms for a hug. Pippin grudgingly obliged. Boromir saw, along with the rest of the company, what was about to happen. Merry drew his arm up and brought it down upon Pippin's bottom as hard as he could. All but Legolas and Gandalf winced while pippin let lose a great cry and pushed Merry away from him.
"Will you two keep quiet? The orcs in Mordor will hear you if you keep this up." Merry and Pippin quietened while Merry laughed and Pippin massaged is bottom.
"There's going to a bruise, I'll wager. Or if not that, it'll be red for another week."
"The same could apply for my hand." Merry stared at his reddening hand.
"Your hand!" said Pippin and was given a warning glance by Gandalf, "Your hand!" he repeated quietly, "That's the least of my worries."
"Your bottom's not numb any more is it?"
"No, and that's half of the problem!"
"Oh Pippin, I really am sorry now. Truly." He beckoned Pippin in for another hug.
"You're completely sorry?"
"Utterly sorry. Forgive me." Pippin went to Merry's arms again and was rewarded with a great big hug. The fellowship began walking again, Merry, Pippin and Boromir dropped to the back.
"Are all hobbits as intimate as you?"
"Intimate?" Merry and Pippin glanced mischievously at one another and suddenly Merry swept Pippin up in his arms.
"Oh Merry!" said Pippin in a very bad imitation of a feminine voice. And then they shared a kiss. One that Boromir thought was inappropriate for cousins, he'd never kissed his cousins as they weren't very close, but the last time he'd kissed his brother in anything that came near that way he had been ten. Pippin broke it by giggling.
"I can't hold you for much longer Pippin."
"Don't you dare drop me!" And so it was that they both ended up on the ground, Merry's arms had given way and Pippin had tried to hold on, but only succeeded in dragging Merry down with him. They were laughing so hard they had trouble dragging themselves up again. Neither of them could look at Boromir's face because it only made them laugh harder.
"Ignore them Boromir." Frodo came to the rescue and gave both Merry and Pippin condescending looks. "No, hobbits aren't usually as intimate as that, but the hugging is quite normal. The extravagant kissing, where does that come from?"
"Well," said Merry, still recovering from the laughter. "We developed it for hiding in the Dragon."
"We hid in the kitchen, the cleaning cupboard, the pantry-
"We should hide there again." Interrupted Merry with a blissful smile on his face.
"Under the kitchen sink, even in the rafters-"
"I remember that, you caused quite the fuss."
"You're the ones who were hiding in the rafters?" Said Sam, "I'll have to tell May when we get back, she always wondered about that."
"Yes, but none of those places worked and the punishment for failing to come back from the Dragon and then trying to hide is not pleasant."
"Once when we were being dragged from the Dragon in fear and shame we noticed a couple kissing, they were ignoring the world around them completely and no one was disturbing them. That, of course sparked an idea in our minds."
"Whenever there was hint of Uncle Paladin or my own father turning up, then we'd sneak into a badly lit corner and pretend to be a courting couple."
"So every time you disappeared for hours when you were staying with me and even your own fathers couldn't find you, you were in the Dragon as always?"
"As always." Agreed Merry. Frodo shook his head in disbelief.
"What would your fathers do if they found out?"
"That's not a thought I'd like to entertain, but you know that if anyone decided it would be a good idea to inform a parent of our past wrong-doings it is entirely possibly that the rest of their life would not be spent being the healthiest they've ever been.
"Your secret is safe with us, isn't it?" said Frodo.
"Aye, that it is." Said Sam.
"Boromir?" said the four hobbits, turning on him.
"Yes, yes of course." He could see hobbits could be a formidable force if they banded together. "I'll remember to say nothing if ever I see more of your families."
"You will most certainly see more of our families, for if you are ever to come to the Dragon then it will be hard to miss them."
"I thought you said you lived twenty miles from the Dragon?"
"We also said the ale was the best in Middle-earth."