While they Walked
Chapter 7: Dogs, Hugs and Sizes
Pippin stood up after another midnight meal, he was no longer aware of which day of the week it was and he could barely remember how many nights they'd been going like this. And his bottom was numb again.
"Numb again?" asked Boromir, having deduced as much from Pippin's awkward walking and attempts to massage without anyone noticing. Pippin looked around to check that Merry wasn't listening, and seeing him deep in conversation with Frodo, he nodded. "Perhaps you shouldn't sit in the same position for so long."
"Well that's what I try to do but when I get around to remembering it's already time to be moving on. You see, whenever we have picnics in the Shire we sit and talk for an hour or so afterwards, not to mention we spend a far longer time eating in the first place. We get far more chance to move around."
"You have picnics often?" Said Boromir, he'd only had the one or two in his lifetime.
"Oh yes, next to the Brandywine in Buckland is a lovely spot, near the weeping willows. Then there's a beautiful field in Tuckborough, under an old oak tree, though the grass can become a little too long at some times of the year, good for playing hide and seek. But we mustn't forget the party tree. That's a tree that you've got to have a picnic under." Pippin looked dreamily into the distance.
"You can have a picnic anywhere you want?" said Boromir, awed that there were so many suitable places, the only places he could think of in or around Minas Tirith were farmland and the only farmers he'd ever known were very hard on trespassers.
"Well, most farmers would prefer if you stayed off their land, but you'd mostly only get a bad fright from their dogs."
"Which farmer's dogs are we talking about here?" said Frodo from behind the two, making them jump.
"Grip! Fang! Wolf!" said Pippin in a perfect imitation of farmer Maggot. Frodo spun around looking everywhere like a scared child, then he caught himself as he realised the trick that had been played on him countless times since their encounter with the three dogs at farmer Maggot's had once more caught him out.
"Pippin! How many times do I have to tell you!" he yelled. Pippin was giggling softly, Boromir raised his eyebrow.
"Are they some particularly vicious dogs you met?" asked Boromir.
"No, they're as harmless as a towel in the hands of a baby." Answered Pippin.
"Harmless! They were snarling and biting all over the place!" Said Sam, it seemed that once you started a conversation with one hobbit, the other three were very likely to be drawn in at some point, though Merry was talking with Aragorn at the moment, or Strider as the hobbits seemed to call him.
"You're exaggerating Sam."
"He's most certainly not! They may have ignored you completely, but they cornered us two."
"Coming to think of it, Wolf seemed to remember you, and I'm not surprised!" said Pippin. Frodo sighed and Sam seemed to be glaring at Pippin as though he were trying to set him alight.
"You were not on good terms with these dogs Frodo?" Asked Boromir tentatively.
"No, I was quite the little thief, and it's nothing I'm proud of Pippin! Unlike you."
"That's unfair! There are plenty of things I'm not proud of doing, I just don't dwell on them like you seem to. And for your information, I've not stolen anything for three years. Since we made Pearl cry, Merry and I have been working a few more good-natured things."
"You sound like quite the little pest Pippin! I'm surprised, you seemed like such a nice boy-"No, boy didn't seem a good word for someone twenty eight years of age. "Lad." Was the word Boromir decided on, the hobbits used it themselves all the time.
"Oh he's a charm when he wants to be." Frodo ruffled Pippin's curls and Pippin batted his hands away, it was clearly something that annoyed him. "He's our ickle Took." Said Frodo patronisingly.
"You see Boromir? He does tease, if Bilbo were here he would have started a lot sooner. Merry and I have to band together to protect ourselves." Frodo drew him into a one armed hug. "I feel like a stuffed toy sometimes."
"Oh but you're just so huggable Pippin."
"That doesn't explain waking up with someone lying on top of me. I don't know who it was but they wouldn't shift!" Sam coughed a little.
"That may have been me. I had a bit of a strange dream last night. Sorry Mr. Pippin." He said.
"Not to worry, I don't think I'm too much flatter, well, not by your doing." Pippin patted his still slightly rounded stomach. "Boromir, do you have any fat on you anywhere at all? Surely your mother feeds you well?"
"My mother is dead, and I do too much travelling to have meals like those in Rivendell very often."
"Oh Boromir, why didn't you say? No wonder you're nothing but muscle." Pippin hugged Boromir around his waist, Boromir was surprised and did his best to hug back. "You see? By all rights I shouldn't be able to reach right round a big lad such as yourself, but my hands definitely touched!"
"They did?" exclaimed Frodo, "I don't believe you Pippin." Pippin moved out of the way and allowed Frodo to hug Boromir. "They do!" he declared once he'd drawn back.
"May I? Mr. Boromir?" Said Sam, he seemed the shier of the three, when around other people anyway. Boromir shrugged.
"Yes, of course." Sam hugged him as well.
"All my stars, that's not right!" Boromir began to feel like he'd done something wrong.
"I'm sorry." He said, he wasn't sure what he was being sorry for, but bewilderment and confusion had long since become familiar feelings.
"Oh no Boromir, don't be sorry. There's something to show the children, what happens to you when you don't eat all six meals." Six meals, well that explained a lot, Boromir had had suspicions earlier about the amount of meals a day, but he didn't think it was as many as six.
"Merry! Hey! Merry!" Shouted Pippin. Merry turned around.
"What is it?" He replied.
"Hug Strider." Commanded Pippin. Merry did so without question. Aragorn gave Boromir a most bewildered look, whereas Boromir just began to laugh.
Merry turned around, looking quite astonished. "My hands touched on the other side!" Merry ran over, dragging Aragorn by the wrist. "See for yourself!" The other three did so.
"About the same as Boromir, I'd think."
"No, he's a little thinner."
"If anything, he's fatter."
"I doesn't matter, we're going to have to fatten these two up!"
"What about Legolas?"
"No, I don't think it's right for an elf to be fat, it just wouldn't look right." The rest of the hobbits agreed with whoever it was that had stated their thought.
"We can't fatten them up here, as much as I like them both, I'm not giving up my food for them."
"No, I think this is another project for after the quest."
"And it has a simple solution, we just have them stay in the Shire for a few months and there you have it, they're the right shape and Boromir knows where the best ale in all Middle-earth comes from." Aragorn and Boromir were walking silently either side of the hobbits listening to their futures being planned.
"Wait," Said Merry, "If Strider's king and Boromir's his steward, would they be able to come to the Shire at the same time? Would you Strider?"
"I think we'd be able to arrange it." Said Aragorn.
"You would want to wouldn't you?" Checked Pippin. Boromir glanced at Aragorn and answered for the both of them.
"We'd like nothing more."
Chapter 7: Dogs, Hugs and Sizes
Pippin stood up after another midnight meal, he was no longer aware of which day of the week it was and he could barely remember how many nights they'd been going like this. And his bottom was numb again.
"Numb again?" asked Boromir, having deduced as much from Pippin's awkward walking and attempts to massage without anyone noticing. Pippin looked around to check that Merry wasn't listening, and seeing him deep in conversation with Frodo, he nodded. "Perhaps you shouldn't sit in the same position for so long."
"Well that's what I try to do but when I get around to remembering it's already time to be moving on. You see, whenever we have picnics in the Shire we sit and talk for an hour or so afterwards, not to mention we spend a far longer time eating in the first place. We get far more chance to move around."
"You have picnics often?" Said Boromir, he'd only had the one or two in his lifetime.
"Oh yes, next to the Brandywine in Buckland is a lovely spot, near the weeping willows. Then there's a beautiful field in Tuckborough, under an old oak tree, though the grass can become a little too long at some times of the year, good for playing hide and seek. But we mustn't forget the party tree. That's a tree that you've got to have a picnic under." Pippin looked dreamily into the distance.
"You can have a picnic anywhere you want?" said Boromir, awed that there were so many suitable places, the only places he could think of in or around Minas Tirith were farmland and the only farmers he'd ever known were very hard on trespassers.
"Well, most farmers would prefer if you stayed off their land, but you'd mostly only get a bad fright from their dogs."
"Which farmer's dogs are we talking about here?" said Frodo from behind the two, making them jump.
"Grip! Fang! Wolf!" said Pippin in a perfect imitation of farmer Maggot. Frodo spun around looking everywhere like a scared child, then he caught himself as he realised the trick that had been played on him countless times since their encounter with the three dogs at farmer Maggot's had once more caught him out.
"Pippin! How many times do I have to tell you!" he yelled. Pippin was giggling softly, Boromir raised his eyebrow.
"Are they some particularly vicious dogs you met?" asked Boromir.
"No, they're as harmless as a towel in the hands of a baby." Answered Pippin.
"Harmless! They were snarling and biting all over the place!" Said Sam, it seemed that once you started a conversation with one hobbit, the other three were very likely to be drawn in at some point, though Merry was talking with Aragorn at the moment, or Strider as the hobbits seemed to call him.
"You're exaggerating Sam."
"He's most certainly not! They may have ignored you completely, but they cornered us two."
"Coming to think of it, Wolf seemed to remember you, and I'm not surprised!" said Pippin. Frodo sighed and Sam seemed to be glaring at Pippin as though he were trying to set him alight.
"You were not on good terms with these dogs Frodo?" Asked Boromir tentatively.
"No, I was quite the little thief, and it's nothing I'm proud of Pippin! Unlike you."
"That's unfair! There are plenty of things I'm not proud of doing, I just don't dwell on them like you seem to. And for your information, I've not stolen anything for three years. Since we made Pearl cry, Merry and I have been working a few more good-natured things."
"You sound like quite the little pest Pippin! I'm surprised, you seemed like such a nice boy-"No, boy didn't seem a good word for someone twenty eight years of age. "Lad." Was the word Boromir decided on, the hobbits used it themselves all the time.
"Oh he's a charm when he wants to be." Frodo ruffled Pippin's curls and Pippin batted his hands away, it was clearly something that annoyed him. "He's our ickle Took." Said Frodo patronisingly.
"You see Boromir? He does tease, if Bilbo were here he would have started a lot sooner. Merry and I have to band together to protect ourselves." Frodo drew him into a one armed hug. "I feel like a stuffed toy sometimes."
"Oh but you're just so huggable Pippin."
"That doesn't explain waking up with someone lying on top of me. I don't know who it was but they wouldn't shift!" Sam coughed a little.
"That may have been me. I had a bit of a strange dream last night. Sorry Mr. Pippin." He said.
"Not to worry, I don't think I'm too much flatter, well, not by your doing." Pippin patted his still slightly rounded stomach. "Boromir, do you have any fat on you anywhere at all? Surely your mother feeds you well?"
"My mother is dead, and I do too much travelling to have meals like those in Rivendell very often."
"Oh Boromir, why didn't you say? No wonder you're nothing but muscle." Pippin hugged Boromir around his waist, Boromir was surprised and did his best to hug back. "You see? By all rights I shouldn't be able to reach right round a big lad such as yourself, but my hands definitely touched!"
"They did?" exclaimed Frodo, "I don't believe you Pippin." Pippin moved out of the way and allowed Frodo to hug Boromir. "They do!" he declared once he'd drawn back.
"May I? Mr. Boromir?" Said Sam, he seemed the shier of the three, when around other people anyway. Boromir shrugged.
"Yes, of course." Sam hugged him as well.
"All my stars, that's not right!" Boromir began to feel like he'd done something wrong.
"I'm sorry." He said, he wasn't sure what he was being sorry for, but bewilderment and confusion had long since become familiar feelings.
"Oh no Boromir, don't be sorry. There's something to show the children, what happens to you when you don't eat all six meals." Six meals, well that explained a lot, Boromir had had suspicions earlier about the amount of meals a day, but he didn't think it was as many as six.
"Merry! Hey! Merry!" Shouted Pippin. Merry turned around.
"What is it?" He replied.
"Hug Strider." Commanded Pippin. Merry did so without question. Aragorn gave Boromir a most bewildered look, whereas Boromir just began to laugh.
Merry turned around, looking quite astonished. "My hands touched on the other side!" Merry ran over, dragging Aragorn by the wrist. "See for yourself!" The other three did so.
"About the same as Boromir, I'd think."
"No, he's a little thinner."
"If anything, he's fatter."
"I doesn't matter, we're going to have to fatten these two up!"
"What about Legolas?"
"No, I don't think it's right for an elf to be fat, it just wouldn't look right." The rest of the hobbits agreed with whoever it was that had stated their thought.
"We can't fatten them up here, as much as I like them both, I'm not giving up my food for them."
"No, I think this is another project for after the quest."
"And it has a simple solution, we just have them stay in the Shire for a few months and there you have it, they're the right shape and Boromir knows where the best ale in all Middle-earth comes from." Aragorn and Boromir were walking silently either side of the hobbits listening to their futures being planned.
"Wait," Said Merry, "If Strider's king and Boromir's his steward, would they be able to come to the Shire at the same time? Would you Strider?"
"I think we'd be able to arrange it." Said Aragorn.
"You would want to wouldn't you?" Checked Pippin. Boromir glanced at Aragorn and answered for the both of them.
"We'd like nothing more."