While they Walked
Chapter 8: A Contest of Mischief and Trickery
Silence was once more covering the walkers, there's only so much talking one can do each day. Pippin though, had the ability to push the limits of daily talking amounts to beyond their usual, well, limits. So, as per-usual Pippin walked up next to the nearest person and started a conversation.
"Legolas," He said, "What's it like being an elf?" He was running out of ideas.
"Pippin, that has got to be the worst question you have ever asked!" Said Merry.
"Yes, even worse than when you asked why geese have wings." Agreed Frodo.
"I asked that?" Said Pippin in disbelief, Frodo, Merry and Sam all nodded. "Well, anyway, that wasn't what I meant. I mean, when you have eternity to, erm, live, what do you do?"
"I can't say for certain what it is I will do in the future, but so far in my life, I have trained and worked hard at archery and-"
Pippin interrupted "Anything a little more," He paused, looking for the right word, "Interesting?"
"An elf? Interesting?" Gimli chuckled quietly to himself. Legolas ignored him.
"What sort of interesting things were you thinking of?" asked Legolas. Frodo skipped up to Pippin and ruffled his hair.
"Remember, you're talking to Peregrin Took, he wants to know what mischief you get up to." Pippin batted Frodo away.
"Mischief? I can't say we have much time for mischief at home." The hobbits sighed a little and the dwarf hmphed as though he knew all along that Elves had no sense of fun. "However, I have done a few things in my time that could be called mischievous." He flicked his long hair behind his shoulders then ran his fingers through it as a matter of habit and it caught briefly in a small knot near the bottom. Gimli snorted with some very badly concealed laughter. Legolas glared at him and went back to his story. "It was late one night a century or so ago and a few of my friends and I had just arrived back from hunting. We thought we might get ourselves a little drink to calm ourselves as it had been quite the hunt, but when we reached the cellar there were the usual barrels of wine, but also the milk for tomorrow's breakfast that had just come down from Esgaroth. We couldn't pass up the chance to create some havoc so we took one barrel of wine and shared it evenly between the barrels of milk.
"After getting ourselves a small drink each we went to our beds and slept, very well. The next morning we awoke to some sounds of drunkeness, very unusual sounds so early in the day you must realise. The results of our short night's work was very humourous to say the least."
"Elves can't hold their wine then?" Said Gimli rather snootily.
"No, dwarf, not when the wine is twice as strong as anything dwarves can brew." Pippin decided to jump in before there was a full-blown shouting match between the two.
"That's exactly what I had in mind Legolas, thank you." He looked pointedly at Gimli. "Are you going to stand up for your race? Though it's quite plain hobbits shall be the best at mischief, I'm sure the dwarves can give the elves a run for their money." Gimli pondered for a while, Legolas smiled smugly, thinking that the dwarf had nothing to tell.
"Why yes young hobbit, I believe I have just the trick. Nothing grand or with any need of too much planning, simple but very effective. All you have to do is take from the victim's smoking pouch all of their weed, then find some animal droppings that you can break up and put that in their pouch in the weed's place. Next time they start to smoke you just want to be watching their face. I doubt that there is much more entertainment than a dwarf who has just smoked goat droppings." The hobbits considered the trick like judges at a competition. They looked at each other and nodded as though they had reached a decision.
"Hobbits win."
"Most definitely." They all agreed.
"Now see here!" said Gimli, "That's hardly fair!"
"Four against two, I'd say that's very fair."
"No, for once the dwarf is right, you didn't even tell us your trick."
"You're in a contest of trickery and mischief and you're talking about being fair? Come now, does this not seem a little strange?" Both Legolas and Gimli opened their mouths as though they were about to say something and both thought better of it. They had the same feeling that Boromir had had earlier, that if they banded together, hobbits could be a very dangerous people. The hobbits stood as tall as they could, which wasn't all that tall, but they still had the air of ones who knew how to outsmart others.
"Well done Pippin!" said Merry, ruffling Pippin's hair. Pippin batted him away.
"Don't you start with that hair ruffling Meriadoc!"
"I only want to congratulate you on yet another addition to the list. Your third am I correct?" Pippin thought on it and nodded. Then his face brightened.
"I just overtook Fatty! Unless of course he's been getting people while we're away."
"The list?" asked Boromir, it wasn't hard to hear what people were saying when there was only one conversation going on. The hobbits looked at each other conspiratorially.
"Well," said Frodo, "They're not the first people we've done that to."
"First dwarf." Added Merry.
"And second elf." Added Sam.
"But not the first people." Finished Frodo. Boromir looked over at Legolas and Gimli, their faces were somewhere between baffled, amused, embarrassment and mild annoyance. It was quite the sight. Ahead of him Boromir could see Aragorn's shoulders shaking silently with laughter and he had to force down a laugh himself. If the hobbits kept this up then Legolas and Gimli may even end up tolerating each other by the end of the week.
How on Middle-earth did they do it?
Chapter 8: A Contest of Mischief and Trickery
Silence was once more covering the walkers, there's only so much talking one can do each day. Pippin though, had the ability to push the limits of daily talking amounts to beyond their usual, well, limits. So, as per-usual Pippin walked up next to the nearest person and started a conversation.
"Legolas," He said, "What's it like being an elf?" He was running out of ideas.
"Pippin, that has got to be the worst question you have ever asked!" Said Merry.
"Yes, even worse than when you asked why geese have wings." Agreed Frodo.
"I asked that?" Said Pippin in disbelief, Frodo, Merry and Sam all nodded. "Well, anyway, that wasn't what I meant. I mean, when you have eternity to, erm, live, what do you do?"
"I can't say for certain what it is I will do in the future, but so far in my life, I have trained and worked hard at archery and-"
Pippin interrupted "Anything a little more," He paused, looking for the right word, "Interesting?"
"An elf? Interesting?" Gimli chuckled quietly to himself. Legolas ignored him.
"What sort of interesting things were you thinking of?" asked Legolas. Frodo skipped up to Pippin and ruffled his hair.
"Remember, you're talking to Peregrin Took, he wants to know what mischief you get up to." Pippin batted Frodo away.
"Mischief? I can't say we have much time for mischief at home." The hobbits sighed a little and the dwarf hmphed as though he knew all along that Elves had no sense of fun. "However, I have done a few things in my time that could be called mischievous." He flicked his long hair behind his shoulders then ran his fingers through it as a matter of habit and it caught briefly in a small knot near the bottom. Gimli snorted with some very badly concealed laughter. Legolas glared at him and went back to his story. "It was late one night a century or so ago and a few of my friends and I had just arrived back from hunting. We thought we might get ourselves a little drink to calm ourselves as it had been quite the hunt, but when we reached the cellar there were the usual barrels of wine, but also the milk for tomorrow's breakfast that had just come down from Esgaroth. We couldn't pass up the chance to create some havoc so we took one barrel of wine and shared it evenly between the barrels of milk.
"After getting ourselves a small drink each we went to our beds and slept, very well. The next morning we awoke to some sounds of drunkeness, very unusual sounds so early in the day you must realise. The results of our short night's work was very humourous to say the least."
"Elves can't hold their wine then?" Said Gimli rather snootily.
"No, dwarf, not when the wine is twice as strong as anything dwarves can brew." Pippin decided to jump in before there was a full-blown shouting match between the two.
"That's exactly what I had in mind Legolas, thank you." He looked pointedly at Gimli. "Are you going to stand up for your race? Though it's quite plain hobbits shall be the best at mischief, I'm sure the dwarves can give the elves a run for their money." Gimli pondered for a while, Legolas smiled smugly, thinking that the dwarf had nothing to tell.
"Why yes young hobbit, I believe I have just the trick. Nothing grand or with any need of too much planning, simple but very effective. All you have to do is take from the victim's smoking pouch all of their weed, then find some animal droppings that you can break up and put that in their pouch in the weed's place. Next time they start to smoke you just want to be watching their face. I doubt that there is much more entertainment than a dwarf who has just smoked goat droppings." The hobbits considered the trick like judges at a competition. They looked at each other and nodded as though they had reached a decision.
"Hobbits win."
"Most definitely." They all agreed.
"Now see here!" said Gimli, "That's hardly fair!"
"Four against two, I'd say that's very fair."
"No, for once the dwarf is right, you didn't even tell us your trick."
"You're in a contest of trickery and mischief and you're talking about being fair? Come now, does this not seem a little strange?" Both Legolas and Gimli opened their mouths as though they were about to say something and both thought better of it. They had the same feeling that Boromir had had earlier, that if they banded together, hobbits could be a very dangerous people. The hobbits stood as tall as they could, which wasn't all that tall, but they still had the air of ones who knew how to outsmart others.
"Well done Pippin!" said Merry, ruffling Pippin's hair. Pippin batted him away.
"Don't you start with that hair ruffling Meriadoc!"
"I only want to congratulate you on yet another addition to the list. Your third am I correct?" Pippin thought on it and nodded. Then his face brightened.
"I just overtook Fatty! Unless of course he's been getting people while we're away."
"The list?" asked Boromir, it wasn't hard to hear what people were saying when there was only one conversation going on. The hobbits looked at each other conspiratorially.
"Well," said Frodo, "They're not the first people we've done that to."
"First dwarf." Added Merry.
"And second elf." Added Sam.
"But not the first people." Finished Frodo. Boromir looked over at Legolas and Gimli, their faces were somewhere between baffled, amused, embarrassment and mild annoyance. It was quite the sight. Ahead of him Boromir could see Aragorn's shoulders shaking silently with laughter and he had to force down a laugh himself. If the hobbits kept this up then Legolas and Gimli may even end up tolerating each other by the end of the week.
How on Middle-earth did they do it?