Thanks so much for the reviews! It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :) sorry for the heavy drama…I get carried away sometimes. Oh, and if this doesn't sound like Joey's Mom, I also apologize. I haven't watched the episode where she was present so I don't know how to write her. Please r/r!

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"Chandler?"

I heard Monica knock on my bedroom door and I quickly shut my eyes to pretend I was asleep. I'd gone home earlier from the cemetery than the others had and had gone straight to bed and stayed there the rest of the day, trying to keep my thoughts in check. I'd heard them when they'd come home, but I acted as if I hadn't heard them.

"Chandler, honey?"

I heard the door open. Damn. I'd forgotten to lock it.

I stayed still and made sure I breathed correctly. Monica knows whenever I feign sleep. Good thing my back was facing the door. She'd know from my expression that I was awake. I kept my eyes shut.

"I'm sorry…" Monica said softly to someone. "He's sleeping…"

"It's okay, honey. May I…may I please just stay here for a while?" a woman replied in the same tone.

My eyes almost snapped open. I'd know that voice anywhere.

"Yeah sure…here…"

Monica pulled a chair for the visitor to sit on. I didn't budge, though my heart had quickened its pace.

"Thank you," the woman said.

"Can I get you anything, Mrs. Tribbiani? Water…coffee…"

"No, thank you, Monica. I'm fine,"

"Okay,"

Mrs. Tribbiani. Joey's Mom. I could feel my stomach as it formed knots with itself.

The door shut and I knew I was alone with Mrs. Tribbiani in the room. She didn't speak for a while, but I heard her movements. I felt her hand as she brushed the comforter, then the weight as she placed her hands on the bed.

"Oh, Chandler…" I heard her say softly. There was sorrow in her voice. I gulped, not liking her tone. I figured that if I listened well enough, I could hear the sound of her heart breaking. I couldn't believe I was the reason why Joey's mother was crying.

"I know you're hurting, honey, believe me. I'm hurting too," she spoke to me as if she knew I was listening. I could hear her voice quiver in an attempt to hold back tears. "I've never hurt this much in my whole life…"

I'm sorry, I thought out loud, hoping she could hear. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry…

"I know you feel the same way. In the morning I keep forgetting he's not there anymore so I end up reserving the Twinkies and the pizza for him in our fridge…"

I didn't forget. At least she did. Then she could spend a few minutes in an illusion I was never going to experience; the illusion that Joey was still there, before reality set in and sank her back into misery again.

There was silence for a few minutes. It seemed like forever before Mrs. Tribbiani started talking again. I just waited for her to continue, still pretending to be asleep. Even though I wasn't facing her, I didn't want to open my eyes. I didn't know why.

"Anyway…I…I'd like to thank you for being a good friend to…my Joey," she finally said.

No! My thoughts shouted. No, don't thank me…I wasn't a good friend…I wasn't…I wasn't…

"You were like a brother to him…and God knows, he needed a brother," Mrs. Tribbiani sighed at the latter part of the first sentence. "Did you know…I knew you even before I met you. Joey…he used to tell me a lot of stories. At first I thought…I thought you were a bad influence…don't ask me why. But it turns out you weren't…believe me, I was so relieved when we were finally introduced,"

I remembered. We all ended up drunk afterwards on our backs, laughing like crazy. "This Chandler," Mrs. Tribbiani had said, clapping me on the back, "this Chandler is a laugh a minute! Bring him again next week, honey!"

"Yeah sure, Ma," Joey'd replied in his drunken state. "We play poker next week, okay, Chandler? With my Ma. She's a killer,"

"Oh thank you, honey," Mrs. Tribbiani had replied, raising her glass for a toast. I'd joined in. The three of us became poker partners ever since.

That was so long ago.

"Thank you for keeping him safe for me, Chandler, honey," Mrs. Tribbiani said more softly.

I gulped again.

Stop thanking me, I thought pleadingly. My conscience couldn't bear it. Please…stop calling me things I'm not…I didn't keep him safe…If I did he would still be here. Joey would still be here.

"I miss him so much," Mrs. Tribbiani's voice had started to crack. "God only knows…he's with God now hopefully. That's the only thing that gives me comfort. He's there…he's away from this nasty nasty world…he sees us…he hears us…" she finally gave in and started to weep to herself. "Oh…"

I wanted to stop pretending already. I wanted to sit up and hug her. But I didn't. I figured that if she'd wanted to talk to me while I was officially awake, she'd have done so. This was probably an outlet of some sort.

But still, outlet or not, I couldn't stand to hear Mrs. Tribbiani cry. I love the woman more than I ever loved my own mother, for God's sakes.

Don't cry…please don't cry…I thought gently whilst gulping back unshed tears.

I just let her mourn for a while, but her crying didn't last long. The woman is incredible. She isn't indestructible but she's just so so brave.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Chandler…" she told me, talking to my back. "I'm sorry…I couldn't help myself."

I heard her sigh then dab her eyes with the handkerchief she always had with her. She and that piece of embroidered cloth were inseperable. I know because it had been a mother's day gift to her from Joey and his sisters a long time ago and she tells the story of how they'd given it like, a thousand times each time.

"I prayed the rosary for him just last night…and it was as if he was there in the room with me, holding me. I prayed for him…I talked to him…I know he's fine…but it's hard, isn't it, Chandler? I know you're not religious, honey, but I prayed for you too. I know you're the one who's suffering the most from this. Not me…"

I felt her hands touch my hair lightly, in an almost afraid touch. I could smell her perfume. It was sweet and pleasant-smelling, unlike what my mother had used to wear. I have to admit, I envied Joey for his mother. Mrs. Tribbiani was the mother my own wasn't. She was the cookie-making-hugging-kissing-spank-when needed-to-be-disciplined-kind. I would have given anything for my mother to have been even slightly like her.

I was the one who'd suffer the most…Mrs. Tribbiani didn't know much truth there was in what she had said.

I forced to calm my fast-beating heart and swallow a huge wad of spit to my drying throat.

"I hope you'll forgive me…for this…" Mrs. Tribbiani touched my shoulder. It was almost as if she was aching to hug me. "For not waiting until you were awake to talk to you…I know you haven't heard a single word I've said…"

No no, I protested, I heard everything…I heard every single thing.

"I…I'm actually quite thankful you're asleep. You need the rest. Someday…I might get to repeat everything I've said. That time, of course, you'd be awake…"

Her voice dropped to a softer tone. Steady and gentle.

"You remind me too much of my Joey…" she said sadly. "You're like a son to me, Chandler. One day we'll talk. We'll talk until our tongues fall off and our eyes fall out and maybe you can tell me your side of this story. But now…I'm still hurting. Nothing was your fault. I don't blame you…I don't blame you at all…"

I squeezed my eyes tight. I wanted to cover my ears.

"I just needed you to listen now…Thank you for everything, Chandler. I don't regret my son ever meeting such a fine person like you," I heard the chair scrape as she stood up, then felt as she leaned closer to me and rested her hand lightly on my shoulder. "May God keep you safe,"

I felt her lips give me a gentle kiss on the temple. It was a motherly kiss and I could feel all her love poured into it. It was a kiss I didn't deserve. It was a kiss that was supposed to be for Joey.

I waited until Mrs. Tribbiani left the room and shut the door behind her before I finally lay on my back, my eyes now open. My throat hurt from the huge lump blocking it. I lifted my hands to my face and felt how hot it was.

I'd never felt so ashamed of myself. I was the one who had killed her son, but she was the one who had come to me to thank me and ask for my forgiveness. That was supposed to be my role.

She had kissed what she had thought was her second son. I knew better.

She had just kissed the murderer of her only son.

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Aaaaww…poor Chandler. I thought it would be a nice touch to put Joey's Mom in. Sort of like what Priam did to Achilles in the story of Troy. This was a hard one to do mostly because Chandler just listens. Again, I'm sorry if it's overly-dramatic. Well, it IS a tragedy…:-) Please just bear with it as it runs it course. Again, thanks to those who've reviewed! Ice cream for you!