TITLE: Surprises and Revelations.
AUTHOR: Carly.
RATING: G.
FEEDBACK: That would be great, thank you.
DISCLAIMER: These characters aren't mine.
SUMMARY: Steph's hen's night doesn't turn out the way she thought it would
PAIRING/CHARACTERS: Steph & Stu friendship, Libby, Sindi.
YEAR: 2004.
NOTES: Not my best work, but I felt the urge to write Stuph™ - But written in a way that (hopefully) won't make people mad, hehe!
Updated notes: Yeah, I have a weird obsession with pairing Stu and Steph together. This is one of my Stuph (as they're fondly known on the Erinsborough forums) stories. Enjoy.
DATE: 24/07/04.
She didn't even want a hen's night in the first place. But no, Libby insisted the gang get together and have a good time. Libby's idea of a good time though was obviously not even in the same stratosphere of what Steph considered to be a fun hen's night. Because instead of dancing into the early hours of the morning drinking an assortment of coloured cocktails, she found herself sitting under the rotunda in the park, slightly sozzled on champagne, handcuffed around one of the railings. And who happened to be her handcuff buddy looped around the other side of the railing? A very annoyed Stuart Parker.
"They've broken about fifty laws tonight," Stu grumbled, breaking the silence.
"Oh would you shut up!" Steph tried to turn her body around as much as she could so she didn't have to face him, and drew her knees up to her chest.
She was going to kill her so-called best friend.
Libby, along with a few of the other girls, had started the party at Susan's place. Steph was warming up for the night, drinking quite a few glasses of champagne that everyone was passing her. Then she was told that they were going to play a game and was blindfolded, bundled into a car, curious when there was some sort of delay, and driven to a location.
All she could hear on the way there was spontaneous bursts of giggling and a few hushed whispers.
"Uh-oh, he's following us!"
"Ha! He's flashing his lights!"
"It's okay, we're nearly there!"
When the car finally stopped, Steph had been led out of the vehicle and walked quickly forwards. Her blindfold had slipped a bit and she could make out the tops of some trees in the moonlight if she looked up.
"Why am I outside?" she asked in bemusement.
"You'll see!" Libby's voice laughed from her left side.
Steph stumbled forward some more until Libby stopped walking beside her, coming to a standstill.
"Here we are, voila!"
Steph's eyes adjusted to her new surroundings as the blindfold came off. She gave her friends a quizzical look.
"The rotunda? How… exciting?"
"Just go and sit down on that bench over there for a tick."
Steph, whose brain was still very fuzzy from all the drink she had just consumed, did as she was told and sat down. No sooner than she had, Libby and Sindi pounced forward and attached something to her wrist.
"What are you…" Steph began, when an out of breath voice interrupted her.
"What the hell are you guys up to? You ran a red light back there I hope you know!"
Stuart ambled up to them looking pretty peeved.
"We only ran the amber light because we wanted to get away from you!" Libby replied.
"You don't do that in front of a police officer, Lib!"
"You're not even on duty!"
"It's not the point!" He glowered at Sindi. "I wouldn't have had to have come after you in the first place if she hadn't have ran into my place just before and stolen my handcuffs!"
Steph looked down at that point and noticed that she did indeed have one loop of the handcuff around her left wrist.
"Your big surprise was to handcuff me to air?" she asked in amusement.
Libby smirked. "Constable Parker here kind of muddled our plans."
Stu sat down next to Steph and took a key out of his pocket. "Constable Parker here needs his handcuffs back before his shift tomorrow. These aren't something you can just take!"
Stu started to unlock the link and didn't notice that Sindi and Libby look at one another slyly.
All of a sudden Stu found himself pinned down by about three women, which usually would have been a good thing for him if he wasn't so annoyed.
"Get off! What are you doing?"
They all stood back, clutching their sides with laughter. Stu made a move to stand up, but found himself being restrained. He closed his eyes and groaned inwardly before looking down at his hands. His right hand had been cuffed into the other loop, and the handcuffs had been put around a railing. He and Steph were stuck.
Stu fumbled around for the key.
Libby laughed and dangled something in front of her. "Looking for these?"
"Libby," he warned. "You are going to give me that key before I have to book you for tormenting an officer and stealing official police property!"
This only made her laugh harder. "Aw, come on Stu. Where's your sense of humour gone?"
"It's on holiday along with my patience, so give me the bloody key!"
"Lib, Sindi, just unlock us would you," Steph piped up. "I think I've had enough fun now."
"You would have had more fun if Stu hadn't have shown up!" said Sindi. "We were actually going to get Max down here and handcuff you two together for the night, but this is much more hilarious!"
"Yeah, for you guys!"
"Exactly!"
"Well, we'll be off then," chimed in Libby.
Steph and Stu looked horrified.
"No way! Get me out of these handcuffs, Libby!" Steph demanded.
Libby started to walk onto the grass with the rest of the group. "Sorry, no can do! Have a good night you two, we'll give Max a call and say you'll be out most of the night with your pals!"
"It's a warm night, you'll be fine!" Sindi called out. "Toot-a-loo, we'll see you in the morning!"
Steph and Stu yelled out for them to come back and unlock them until their figures receded into the distance and they vanished out of sight. A car could be heard driving away.
Steph blinked in disbelief. "What just happened?"
Stu was seething. "I'm going to be dead if Olivia or anyone finds out about this! What were you playing at, Steph?"
"Hey, don't blame me, buddy! I wasn't the one in charge. Do you think I Iwant/I to be in the park in the middle of the night, handcuffed to a rotunda?"
"Look, whatever," he scoffed. "We need to get out of here. Have you got a mobile on you?"
"No. Have you?"
Stu rolled his eyes. "Why would I ask you if I already had one?"
"Oh, good point." She looked at her wrist. "Can we maybe wriggle our hands out somehow?"
"Not unless you want to dislocate something, Houdini."
"I was only making a suggestion, smart alec." Steph glared at him and he sighed.
"I know, I know, I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated, I'm not used to being on the receiving end of these things."
"We'll just have to sit tight and wait until we see someone then."
"We'll have to."
They sat in silence. That was until Stu started muttering under his breath about how he was missing out on the football game on the TV, and how he was going to strangle Sindi and Libby when they came back. Sindi especially. He made another grumbling noise about the women breaking fifty or so laws, which was when Steph told him to shut up.
And so here they were. Facing away from one another, pretending that being handcuffed to a rotunda in the middle of the night was the most normal thing in the world.
- - - - -
Steph looked down at her watch. Half an hour had passed and no one had been through the park. Obviously everyone was sensible enough to be in bed at half past midnight. She stretched her legs out in front of her, jigging them slightly to get rid of the pins and needles.
"It helps if you stomp your feet on the ground," Stu's voice piped up beside her.
She gave him a sideways glance and slowly started to stomp her feet on the floor. "Finished grumbling and moaning to yourself, have we?"
"Well it's not going to bring the keys back, is it."
"You said it."
Stu held out his free hand to her. "Truce?"
She squinted at him then broke out into a smile. "Truce. Only cause I'm bored and I need someone to talk to," she added with a wink, shaking his hand with her free one.
He chuckled. "Fair enough."
"So, Stuart, what can we talk about?"
"How about your wedding?"
Steph snorted. "You mean mum and Valda's wedding. It's like having your teeth pulled listening to those two go on about taffeta, and cummerbunds and wedding cake. They just don't get the concept of simple at all!"
"Why don't you just say something then? I thought that you and Max wanted a small ceremony in the country?"
"Yeah, we did," she replied wistfully. "But mum's been so down lately what with dad being away and Jack going out clubbing all the time, not to mention the whole Tom fiasco, I just want her to be happy, y'know?"
He smiled. "That's exactly what happened with my first fiancée Tracey and I. Her mum just took over from the word go, the engagement ring was barely on Trace's finger."
"Her mum needed cheering up too, huh?"
"No, she was just an overbearing control freak whose sole purpose in life was to interfere in everyone's business!"
They both laughed.
"Geez, imagine if you and Flick had have still been engaged – you too could have been going through the marriage madness." Steph got a funny look on her face. "Oh God, mum would have organized a double wedding for sure!"
Steph looked at him in amusement. "I'm sure you would have looked very pretty in your geranium sunset tie and cummerbund!"
Stu shook his head and gave a short laugh. "I can't believe I could have already been married twice. I'm only 24 years old!"
"Hey, you're not as bad as you think. I'm 25 and I've had one near engagement, and one disastrous almost marriage myself."
Steph got quiet at the memory of Marc and leant back into her seat, resting her back against the ledge.
"Things got kind of weird between us back then, didn't they," Stu said quietly.
Steph turned her head towards him. "Hey, I know you and Flick were close, Stu. I may have been angry at you then for taking sides…"
"I wasn't taking…"
"I know, I know, it's okay. Back then I thought that, but now I understand why you stuck by her, I do." She gave him a smile. "And it's not like you stopped being a good friend to me either. You were there for me when I needed you as my mate as well, and I admire that."
He smiled back at her. "Thanks."
Stu was just about to say more when he saw a figure in the distance. "Hey, I think someone's there!"
Steph whipped her head around. "Where?"
"Quick, yell out at them!"
The both of them called out to the figure as loud as they could, asking for help and yelling out that they were stuck. The figure came running towards them.
Stu stopped his hollering and leant his head to the side. "Is it just me or is that person really small? And running on their hands and feet?"
Steph stopped her yelling as well and leant forward to take a closer look. The moonlight broke through the clouds and she saw things a lot more clearly. "Nice work Constable Parker," she said sarcastically. "I hope you use your great visual skills when you're on the job as well. Only someone that clever can mistake a dog for a human!"
The scruffy looking retriever bounded up to them; tail wagging in excitement causing its whole body to quake. It jumped up on Stu's lap and licked his face.
"Ugh, dog breath! Get down!"
Steph laughed and tried to pat the dog to make it calm down. "Hey boy… or girl, settle down there. Stu, check its collar to see if it's called Lassie, it might have a spare key on it!" she said cheekily.
"Shut up, Scully!" said Stu, pushing the dog off his lap to give it a pat. "So much for being rescued."
There was a rustling in the trees nearby. The dog's ears pricked up and it ran off into the direction of the noise, barking all the way.
"Go tell ma and pa we're here after you've finished chasing the cat and rescued Timmy from down the well, Lassie!" Steph called out after it, laughing.
She nestled back down into her seat as comfortably as she could on a wooden bench. Stu did the same on the other side and they gazed sleepily up into the sky at the stars.
"Man, I'm bored," Stu sighed after some time had passed. "What happened to chatting?"
"I was too busy trying to figure out where the Southern Cross was. I've found the frying pan, but the only other thing I can make out is something that looks like a gorilla on a skateboard!"
"Ahh, yes," Stu replied in mock-seriousness. "The world-famous monkeyrificus locomortus, more commonly known as 'Gorilla on a skateboard'."
"Idiot!"
"Yeah, that's me. How about we play a game or something?"
"What, like eye spy? Yeah that'll be fun. 'Eye spy with my little eye, something beginning with D', 'Darkness?', 'Yes, you got it!'"
"Sarcasm does not become you, Steph. No, I meant something like a memory game… or truth or dare. Or maybe just truth since we can't really move to do anything."
"Alright," she said smiling, "Let's play truth or truth. You go first."
Stu twisted his face in thought. "Hmm… okay, truth or truth. What's your most embarrassing moment?"
"Most embarrassing moment. Uh, that would have had to be back in high school. I was about 15 and I had this boyfriend who had braces…"
"Oh, here we go!"
"Quiet! Anyway, so we were kissing and whatever in my bedroom when everyone was out and he started to kiss my earlobe… and his braces got caught on my sleeper earring!"
"That's just funny, that's not embarrassing!" Stu said, chuckling.
Steph shook her head. "No, it gets worse. We were trying to get it unhooked when mum and dad came home and busted us! I was mortified and dad looked ready to kill poor Jeff. Needless to say I was grounded for quite some time!" Steph broke into a fit of laughter along with Stu.
"Okay," she said, catching her breath. "Your turn. Truth or truth, do you have any hidden scars, birthmarks or tattoos?"
It was a good thing it was dark because Stu's face turned slightly red at this question. Steph took his silence as a clear indication he did have one of the above.
"Ah-ha! Come on, Parker. Spill! You can't break the sacred truth or truth code now!"
Stu groaned. "You're gonna laugh at me!"
"I probably will, but that's not the point. Spill!"
"Fine. When I was 18, my mates and I had a bit too much to drink one night on our boys night out in the city, and we ended up at a tattoo parlour…"
"Go on," Steph urged cheerily.
"I must have had one too many beers by that point and I passed out. When I woke up I had this," he lifted his leg up to show her the symbols near his ankle.
"That's tiny! What does it say?"
"Apparently it says 'I am woman trapped in man's body' in Chinese. My mates thought it was a fantastic joke!" Stu put his leg back down and waited for the reaction.
"Wow… that's… hmmm," Steph choked out.
"Go on, you might as well laugh it up."
"I wouldn't dream of it!" she said in a voice tinged with laughter. "I might have to reconsider your birthday present coming up though. I was going to get you a shirt, but maybe you'd like a nice lacy bra instead, darling!" Steph couldn't restrain herself any longer and burst into a fit of giggles.
"Yeah, whatever you say, Scully." But soon Stu joined in.
The questions got sillier and sillier as the night wore on. Steph found out that Stu owned a Celine Dion album ("I thought the Titanic song was good, alright!" he claimed), and Stu found out that Steph used to have a crush on Kermit the Frog ("I was only 4! He liked green, I liked green, it was a match made in heaven!"), among a lot of other things.
Steph looked drowsily at her watch. "It's nearly four am."
"Did you want to try and get some sleep?"
"No, keep talking," she said through a yawn. "I'll just rest my head on this very comfortable block of wood."
Stu looked thoughtful. "Is there any way you can twist yourself around so that you can lay down? You can use my thigh as a cushion if you want."
"Then you'll be uncomfortable all night!"
"I'm already as uncomfortable as I'm going to get, no need for both of us to be. Come on, I don't bite!"
Steph rolled her eyes and smiled, but spun herself around so that she was laying against Stu's leg with her handcuffed arm resting across her chest.
"Any better?" he asked.
"A little bit. It's a good thing your leg is so squishy!"
He pretended to look offended. "I believe that's called muscle."
Steph and Stu lulled themselves into a silence for a while before Steph piped up again sleepily.
"I've got another truth or truth."
"Go on."
"What's something that you've never told anyone before?"
Stu got a weird look on his face. "What, like I'm actually a superhero by night or something?"
"No, just something that you thought you'd never say out loud to anyone." Steph leant her head back to look at his face. "Sorry. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, I…"
"No, it's okay," he interrupted. "I'll have a think. What about you? What's something that you've never told anyone before?"
Steph looked thoughtful then a melancholy look washed over her face. "This is going to sound absolutely awful, and totally selfish, but I sometimes think how it would be if I didn't have any commitments and I could just grab a backpack, my bike and go on my dream trip around Australia."
"That's not selfish, everyone has 'what if' thoughts like that."
"Yeah, I know. And I'd never actually do it now; I love my life with Max and the kids too much. But sometimes I just get that little niggling at the back of my head." She gave him a smile. "Max did say that we'd go on lots of adventures though so I'm sure I'll get my travel fix one day!"
"Have you thought of yours yet?" she asked a few minutes later.
He nodded. "The 'what if' thing brought something up. Sometimes I get to thinking of all my failed relationships and of sparks that were there between me and someone else but nothing came of it – and I wonder what my life may have been like if I could have actually made things work with a girl." Stu chuckled feebly. "I'm such a loser when it comes to the grown up stuff."
Steph gave him a light punch on the arm. "You're not a loser! You… you just like to fall in love a lot! Nothing wrong with that, at least you're not afraid to try. Looking back now, I can't believe it took Max and I that long to get our acts together. Now there are a couple of losers!"
Stu smiled. "Yeah, I guess that everyone has got their regrets. Mine just seem to haunt me every now and then. Especially when I see people like you and Max so happy, about to get married… it's just a reality check."
Steph slightly paused before talking. "… You could always ring Flick and see what she's up to. I'm sure she'd love to hear from you."
"It's not that easy I don't think."
They were quiet again after that and Stu could soon hear her breathing softly as she drifted off to sleep. He tried to move as gently as possible so not to wake her up and found a slightly more comfortable position to sit in for the night.
Their last conversation played around in his mind as he tried to get to sleep. 'What if…', 'About to get married…', 'Call Flick…', 'It's not that easy I don't think…'. Stu murmured something semi-consciously under his breath.
"It's not that easy… Flick really isn't the Scully that got away…"
- - - -
A blinding flash pierced through Steph's eyelids and she squinted in response.
"That's a nice one for the wedding album!"
She rubbed her eyes with her free hand and slowly opened them to see Libby and Sindi standing there with a camera, grinning at her.
"Have a nice night then?" Sindi asked cheekily.
"Fabulous, you should try it sometime," Steph replied dryly. She sat herself up and woke Stu up in the process.
The first thing he did when he got his bearings was glare at the women before him. "You two better have the key or else there's going to be some serious hell to pay!"
Libby handed the camera to Sindi and stepped forward, taking the key out of her pocket. "Alright, don't get your knickers in a twist."
She unlocked them and they both tried to rub the soreness out of their wrists. Steph gave Stu a glance and then focused on Libby.
"Well, I guess there's only one thing to do now then."
"Yep," agreed Stu as the both of them stood up and slowly walked forward. "Only one little thing…"
Libby and Sindi started to look worried. "Wait! It's not like we left you here forever, we came back! It was just a joke you two!"
The girls stepped backwards as Steph and Stu advanced on them… but their worry soon turned to confusion as the two ex-handcuff mates sprinted past them and across the grass. Sindi and Libby turned around and laughed loudly when they realised where they were going.
The toilet block.
"I thought my bladder was going to burst from all that champagne I drank!" Steph exclaimed, running beside Stu.
"I kept waking up and seeing the building across the other side of the park, taunting me!" Stu laughed.
They were about to go into their respective toilet blocks when Steph grabbed Stu's arm. "I've got some last minute plans to look over with mum and Valda before the wedding tomorrow, but can you meet me tonight at mum's?"
"Of course… why?"
Steph gave him an evil smile and tilted her head towards their friends. "I sense a revenge plan coming on!"
He grinned back at her. "Excellent."
They broke apart and went into the divided sections. "I bags targeting Sindi!" Stu jokingly called out over his shoulder.
The End