AUTHOR'S NOTE: THIS CHAPTER IS A HIGHER THAN PG-13 RATING… THERE ARE DEFINITELY ADULT SITUATIONS IN THIS ONE, SO DON'T LET THE KIDS READ IT UNTIL YOU HAVE A CHANCE TO PREVIEW IT YOURSELF.

OOOOOOOOOOo

Before leaving for Atlantis, each member of the expedition had been told they were allowed to bring one personal item. Carson hadn't been able to think of anything to bring. His only real love was medicine, and since that wasn't a personal item, he was allowed to bring everything medical related that he wanted to – anything he thought he might need, which had been a lot of things. But still he had a personal item to fill, and finally he'd taken the advice of one of his fellow doctors and had just decided on a bottle of scotch whiskey. A big bottle – and the absolute best money could buy. Why not? It wasn't like he was going to have anything to be spending his paychecks on while he was off world, after all, so he might as well splurge while he could.

The entire time he'd been in Atlantis, he'd yet to find a reason to open it, until that afternoon. He'd waited for Kale to leave, and he hadn't. Had waited for Melony to show some sign of wanting to talk to him, and she hadn't. Had broken out the bottle, determined that the moment she was alone, he was going to talk to her and tell her how he felt – about her, and about her and Kale – but to do that, he'd also decided that he might need some liquid courage. Not a lot, just enough to keep him from becoming tongue-tied like he usually did when he was trying to talk to her. So he'd gone across the hall to his quarters and had taken a shot of it. Then had returned a short while later to take another when it was becoming apparent that Kale still wasn't leaving. And had taken another couple while he waited.

By the time the Light One finally did leave, Carson wasn't drunk, but he was pleasantly buzzed and had more than enough courage to go in and talk to her.

Mitchell didn't know he'd been drinking, of course, but she had recognized the difference in his tone immediately. It wasn't the words he spoke – which were really words that she'd wanted to hear from him – it was how he'd said them, and she was instantly put on the defensive.

"Carson…"

"I don't like him," Beckett said, coming over and standing by her bed, looking down at her. God, she was beautiful.

"Who?"

"Kale. Naked Boy."

She frowned.

"You don't like him? Why not?"

"He's always spending time with you."

"Because he's helping me."

Oh sure. It sounded so reasonable when she put it like that.

"I could help you."

"You can't fly."

"I don't like him being with you."

What the hell?

"I'm sorry you feel that way… but I need his help, and I'm grateful he's willing to help me."

"So you're going to keep seeing him?"

"Seeing him?"

"Stop repeating everything I say, damn it!"

"Then try making sense," she told him, scowling.

He recognized the anger in her expression and realized that he wasn't saying it right, and if he wasn't careful he was going to ruin everything. He'd planned it in his head what he was going to say, but it had all escaped him, and he was improvising. And doing a lousy job of it.

"I don't want you to see him."

"So you've said," she replied. "But, like I just told you, I need his help, and until you learn how to fly, I'm going to."

"He's an alien!"

"So?"

"So, he's not right for you."

"What are you talking about?"

"You and him!"

"Me and him…?" Now she was thoroughly confused, but Beckett took her confusion as hesitation, and reacted badly to it.

"Don't play stupid, Melony. I've seen the two of you together. How you laugh with him, and how he runs around naked all the time. How could you not fall for him? But he's not right for you, he's-"

"You think I'm sleeping with him?" She interrupted, finally getting it.

"No. You sleep with me," he told her, getting red-faced. "I think you're having sex with him."

Oh, brother

No shit.

She was completely at a loss.

"Carson-"

"No. You can't be with him, Melony! Don't you understand? I love you. Me. I need you, and I want you, and I ache for you so badly that it's killing me to see you with him."

He loved her? Despite the anger in his voice – and the frustration and the wild look in his eyes, she started to smile.

"I'm not with him, Carson," she said, shaking her head. "I'm just – he's just helping me. We're not-"

"Prove it."

The smile faded immediately.

"What?"

"You heard me," he said. "Prove it. Let me love you."

There was no mistaking what he meant by that, and Melony suddenly found herself feeling cornered. Talon reacted to that immediately.

Melony, no…

"But-"

"Either you love me or you don't," Carson told her, sitting down on the edge of her bed, his eyes intently watching hers.

"I do love you…"

"Then show me," he said, reaching for her. "Prove it."

She pulled back, uncertainly. She wasn't one to be pressed into anything she wasn't ready for, and whatever else she felt for him – and she did love him – she wasn't positive she was ready for that.

You're not. Not like this

Carson drew back the moment she pulled away; his eyes agonized as he reacted to her reaction. Certain that she'd just shown him exactly how she felt about him.

"You don't love me, then…"

"I do," she said, faltering. "I just…"

"You can sleep with him but not me?"

"I've never-"

"Prove it!"

She flinched, her mind completely numb with the sudden turn of events. This was not what she'd expected at all. Prove it? Her hand shaking, she reached for the hem of her shirt.

Melony…

It's what he wants, she answered. Then he'll know… right?

She didn't wait for his reply; she simply closed her eyes, and pulled her shirt over her head. And felt Beckett's arms come around her almost instantly, his hands caressing her eagerly, his voice in her ear, telling her he loved her as he pressed her down onto the bed once more. She kept her eyes closed as she felt him removing the rest of her clothing, and when he parted her legs and pressed against her, she moaned softly, almost like a wounded animal as he entered her, claiming what he wanted so desperately, what he thought he needed from her more than anything. A few eager thrusts and he was already close to his climax, and a moment later he grunted, burying his head between her shoulder and neck as he finished, his voice worshipping her, his hands caressing her, and his body possessing her, completely unaware that the shaking he was feeling from her had absolutely nothing to do with love or release.

He rolled off her, and pulled her into his arms.

"I love you," he whispered, holding her tightly.

She didn't reply, but he didn't need her to. She'd shown him what he needed to know, and satisfied that she loved him back, he fell asleep beside her.

Waiting until she was sure that he was asleep, Melony slipped out of his arms and gathered her clothes. Shaking so hard that she could barely stand, she dressed, but she couldn't focus enough to look for the crystal that Carson had pulled out of the door control. Talon finally took over, gently insinuating himself into the controlling role between the two – something he rarely did, but that she needed desperately just then. He found the control crystal, and replaced it in the door, then palmed it open and left the room. He walked across the empty infirmary and took Melony back to her quarters where he stayed in control while she showered, dabbing a wet cloth against the cuts that had been reopened until the bleeding stopped, and then he put her to bed. Only then, when he was certain that she couldn't fall and hurt herself, did he relinquish control to her, and even then he stayed right with her, supporting her when she started to cry softly into her pillow.

He loved her like that even as she cried herself to sleep, and continued to murmur assurances to her long after she wasn't listening to him.