Yes, I'm back! I know it's been a while, but I did not forget about this story, or my promise. I will keepthis going for as long as it needs to.

This chapter, as promised, takes another peak at Asuka. Once again, there will not be much in the way of dialogue or character interaction. For those of you who have a problem with this, I am sorry. I'm trying to have a story arc going, but as I've said before the greater emphasis is on my psychological interpretation of the characters. Chapter 8, which is in the works and nearing completion, will have some dialogue, though.

Also, looking at Shinji's inner dialogue in chapter two....I realize, there are some parts of it that I really hate. Going back through it in my head, it just doesn't seem dark enough or something, and it feels like something a seventh grader might have written (no offense to you seventh graders out there). Whether or not you agree is your own opinion, but in the future don't be suprised if I've tweaked it.

7. Meanwhile....

True enough to Shinji's prediction, and contrary to his belief that she had no bearings, Asuka had made her way, albeit slowly, to the tattered remains of Hikari Horaki's Tokyo-3 home. Given her condition, which was making her rather lethargic, she had to make constant stops to rest and regather her strength. When she had started out, it was still pitch black outside. Now the sun was completely over the horizon, beating its rays down on the empty earth, and the new morning was well under way.

When she did finally reach her destination, however, she was quite glad to see that the home was still standing, if you can call a house with three of its walls and its roof missing still standing. But in any case, the time and energy expelled that could have been used to heal her broken body had not been in vain. She let out a sigh of relief.

There wasn't much that remained in the house except for rubble. A couch that was ruined by flood water on the first floor, some bed frames with their mattress, dressers, and some of Asuka's things that Hikari had salvaged for her were all that was left for Asuka to use. When the Horakis had moved out, they recovered whatever they could that was not damaged by the flood during the attack of the sixteenth; dishes and good china, chairs, the TV, bed sheets and linen, and small pieces of furniture. In spite of Hikari's assurances that they would return when they felt that the city would be safe enough, her family's actions seemed to indicate that they were staying away for good and not looking back.

But if what the baka had said was true, they definitely wouldn't be coming back now.

Nobody would.

During the journey, the full implications of what Shinji had told her had finally hit home. Everybody in the world was gone. That she knew of, she and Shinji were all that was left. Somehow they had managed to survive (and of course the baka failed to mention how this was possible), while everybody else she had ever known was...well, they were not here to be found. For Asuka, this meant only two things; all the people she had ever known and hated, which were many, were now gone and would never bother her again. But it also meant that all the people she had known and NOT hated were now also gone. Hikari, Kaji-kun (even now, she still couldn't fully accept his "death"), and.....

Come to think of it, the list of people that she did't hate was about as long as the distance that she could pick up and throw that idiot jock Touji Suzahara.

Some part of Asuka had always known how very alone she was, but for the first time in her life, Asuka was finally TRULY alone. All she had ever wanted was to prove to everyone else that she didn't need any help from anyone, that she could make it on her own. Now she had that opportunity. Except for that idiot, who she couldn't count on for anything anyway, she could finally show them all, show the Invincible Shinji, show mama....

Yet somehow this wasn't completely what she had in mind. Proving you can be independent was one thing, being all that remained of the human race was something else entirely. She didn't really hate PEOPLE, unlike a certain meek little boy, she just hated it when people took pity on her and looked at her like she was some helpless little doll...

Granted, Asuka had to take what Shinji had said with a grain of salt. First of all, how the hell did he know that they were the only two that remained? Maybe the damage of Third Impact had been isolated only to Tokyo-3, maybe even only Japan. Yes, that's it; the rest of the world had to be okay. Somewhere out there, there had to be other people. There might even be search and rescue teams on their way now, looking for survivors. They could find her and, if she got lucky, she'd never had to see Shinji's sorry face again. It would be too cruel an end if she was left alive with only that pervert as company. Hell, he probably got some crazy hentai idea that they would have to repopulate the earth!

"Stupid Shinji, he was probably choking me so he could rape me or something, that filthy hentai bastard." she grumbled.

Upon making that accusation, though, another realization hit Asuka. Shinji, the scared little boy who would do anything he could to weasle his way out of a confrontation, the kid with the hunched postured and sad little eyes she had met on the frigate almost a year ago, had actually tried to kill her. KILL her. Kill HER.

If her pride had permitted, she might have actually broken down and shed tears at that realization.

Asuka is awake, but not fully alert. At the moment, her mind feels very fuzzy, as if someone had come along, removed her brain, and pureed it in a blender. Everything feels sore, particularly her left eye and right arm. She cannot seem to remember why, though.

Her other eye is open, and through it she can see clear night sky, and what would appear to be some sort of red halo in the sky, but she isn't entirely sure where she is. She is fairly sure, however, that there is another presence near by, as she can hear somebody talking to themselves. She wants to cry out, let them know she's still alive, but her voice will not obey her. It is as if her body is too tired to care.

Then the other presense enters her field of vision. Asuka has just enough time to register the face before he grabs her neck and begins to choke the life out of her, his fingers digging into her graceful neck like a pair of talons closing around its prey, moving in for the highlight of the hunt; the kill.

With him kneeling over top of her, she has an excellent view of his eyes, and what she sees in them does something to Asuka she thought impossible; she feels fear. She can feel his half-crazed, half-enraged look stabbing into her. She doesn't have the strength to resist his advance, but even if she did she has no doubt that the paralysis of fear alone would deny her a chance to defend herself. She doesn't believe that she would have been fighting Shinji, anyway. He looks so empty, as if he is no longer Shinji Ikari.

The hatred is what stands out to Asuka the most. He is looking at her as though she had done him an unspeakable injustice. She notices this the most because it is so uncharacteristic of Shinji. No matter what you did to the boy, he just stood there and took it. He didn't get mad at others, that was impossible, he simply suffered their attacks and then later blamed himself for their actions against him. At the very least you could annoy him, but he never did anything to defend himself. It was like the boy had a Messiah Complex or something. He must've been one of those weirdos who get off from being hurt.

But no, not this time. This time he looks like...like he could actually kill someone.

It closely resembles whenever he would fight the Angels.

The age-old survival instinct is there, but it is somehow...distant. Perhaps, it too, no longer cares. You know you've hit rock bottom when you're too tired to even care about dying.

She doesn't even make the effort to struggle to breathe. But as she is lying there, once again being masticated by the jaws of death, the one thing about Asuka that never quits, the pride that has served her psyche well for seven years, flares up once more, and the abusive, control-freakish Asuka we all know takes command once again. And the old Asuka has only one objective in mind; get the baka off of her. Where self-preservation will dare not venture, the humiliation of being beaten by the Invincible Shinji yet again, the look in his eyes that scream "HA! I'M BETTER THAN YOU NOW! I'M NUMBER ONE AND YOU'RE NOTHING!" provides the necessary incentive to will herself back into motion.

Is he really gloating like that, or is that simply how her pride perceives the situation?

Somehow having lost all focus on the pain in her right arm, Asuka raises her right arm. Her goal is to somehow get Shinji off of her, perhaps pushing him off of her. No, that won't work, not enough energy to do that. How about a slap in the face? Yeah, that'll work, that will but the baka in his place!

But she doesn't even have enough strength to do that, and as she initiates her attack her hand lands gently onto his cheek instead.

It is not so much the sense of physical contact that affects Asuka so much as it is Shinji's reaction. With a single touch, she causes his maniacal look to disappear, instantly replacing it with a look of sorrow and remorse. Shinji still seems angry, though, but it seems to be directed inward, as though he had let himself down, had failed to do something he had promised himself. Seeing these changes in Shinji somehow intrigue Asuka, and she begins to, ever so slowly, stroke his cheek, probing for more. She then feels his hot tears fall onto her chest, hot with the hate that was previously directed at her, perhaps.

As Shinji goes through his plethora of emotional changes, Asuka felt her own heart melt. The old, hate-filled Asuka is overridden once again, and she begins to feel her own brand of sorrow and remorse. Perhaps...this is regret that she was feeling. Regret that she had pushed him so far that he would now get rid of her. Regret that she had actually destroyed him like this.

Regret that this was the final attention he would pay her.

What a bitter-sweet end.

Saddness and melancholy dilute the look of murder in Shinji's eyes, and not the "I'm depressed and I hate the world and I'm going to throw a pity party for myself" sad that is typically Shinji. He looks as though he was about to cut off his own arm in order to save his life. It was as if killing her was some kind of necessary evil, a course of action that he neither wanted nor chose, but has to follow through.

And instead, he now chooses to keep the festering limb that will inevitably kill him, simply because he can now not bare to part with it.

She had been expecting Shinji to laugh in her face, to kick her down in her weakest moment, to continue his assault without mercy. And instead, he's crying.

Why?

This is your moment of glory, baka! The Invincible Shinji will triumph over the Great Asuka Langley Sohryou once more! What are you waiting for?

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!

It finally dawns on Asuka that his attack might be payback for all the times she had slapped him, kicked him, teased him, and put him down. She had only done it because she wanted to get a reaction from him. Maybe she had even done it because even if he fought back, at least she wouldn't be ignored. At least he would be paying attention to her, instead of just shutting her out in place of his S-DAT.

All that mattered was that he wasn't focused on wondergirl.

But to have pushed him past the brink of sanity, to have tortured him so much that he now wishes death upon her, this simply exceeds anything Asuka could have ever expected.

And now, even when he can finally have his revenge, when obviously Asuka truly is weak and Shinji is strong, when for once in his damn life he is winning, he would choose to retreat? Why has he stopped? Even the baka isn't THIS weak. He proved it every time he piloted. He was doing so well a moment ago, unless...

Baka must think that the touch is an apology.

Or...or a way of saying "I love you."

In that split moment, Asuka is finally trying, for the first time in her life, to step outside of herself and consider what somebody else is feeling. And what she sees makes her extremely ashamed of herself. With that last mental note, Asuka is finally able to interpret Shinji's actions towards her in general. The way he always came back when he ran away, how he occasionally went out of his way to make her happy (or at least contempt), how he didn't try to sneak peaks of her in the shower, how he had saved her from the volcano and put up with her during their synch training, how he always tried to give her genuine words of encouragement and congratulations, how he tried to express his gratefulness that she had survived the fifteenth's attack, and how he had asked Hikari nearly everyday afterwards if she was alright.

He must've done it because he loved her.

Never once in the time they spent together had Asuka ever bothered to take into account what Shinji might have been feeling. She had figured that he was, in all likelihood, just like every other hormone-driven teenage boy she had ever had the misfortune of meeting. Instead, the truth must have been that he suffered her abuses because he was trying to show that he cared.

Had she waited a moment longer, it might've been too late to realize all of this. Whatever feelings he may have had for her had almost vanished along with the rest of the world. But with a single touch, she had shown that his efforts had not gone unnoticed.

Asuka wouldn't go so far as to say that she cares about the little baka, but she had never meant to do THIS to him. She wanted to break him, yes, but only for the sake of reshaping him however she saw fit. It was not her goal, however, to cause him irreparable damage. But if she had known about this...that she had possessed this kind of power over him all this time...

The thought shakes Asuka's very foundation. She cannot deal with this..this feeling of absolute guilt and self-disgust. Anything but this!

She does not want this. She does not want anybody to love her.

She does not want to risk loving HIM.

No, it was better when he hated her.

'Of course he doesn't love you. How could he possibly ever love you? You've never given him a reason to. Besides, you're too too good for him. Being horny is not being in love, anyway. He's just like every other little boy on the planet and all he wants is what's in your pants.

'He tried to kill you, for Christ's sake! You don't kill somebody that you love!

'As if it matters, though. Love is bullshit.

'And don't forget that he's always eyeing wondergirl.

'He's a hentai baka, you dumkopf! And you don't need anybody, let alone HIM.'

Asuka's hubris has a good point. If she allows other people to care for her, she might eventually care for them. And if she cares about somebody, it will hurt that much more when they eventually dissapoint her or leave her altogether.

Just like mama.

She would do well to stay the hell away from everyone and everyone would do better to leave her the hell alone.

She feels Shinji push off of her and roll onto his side, facing away from her. As he does this, Asuka thinks about all these new feelings that she is having. She thinks about how she might actually be able to understand, if only in part, what Shinji had gone through all along. She contemplates about how dirty she feels with regards to everything she had ever done to the poor baka.

She really hates feeling this way. It's too painful.

Too painful to admit when you're the one who's at fault.

Too painful to face the ones you've hurt.

She doesn't know if that is because old Asuka is almost in control once again or what, but all she knows at the moment is that she wants to forget about how terrible she feels. Various ways to describe this new experience race through her mind, struggling to reach her mouth and tongue. They are largely variations on "I feel sick," and "This feeling sucks."

Finally, all Asuka could muster out was "How disgusting."

Asuka shook all thoughts of that touch from her memory. She obviously was in shock or something and didn't know what the hell she was doing. There wasn't even a snowball's chance in hell that she'd ever feel sorry for baka, let alone say it. "Stupid baka, he had to wait until I couldn't fight back to try and kill me, and he STILL couldn't do it. HA! What a weakling!" she said. "He was probably going to rape me, too, until he saw that I was awake. Fucking perverted little hentai probably would've raped my dead body, too."

In spite of feeling as though she had just been done in by nine Angels, Asuka was beginning to feel more and more like her old self. Which suited her just fine, considering she could use all the familiarity she could get.

Searching through the rubble of Hikari's old room, Asuka found the suitcase with all her extra clothes. When she had been lying naked in the bathtub for a week, she had lain her old school clothes, neatly folded, onto a chair next to the tub, and when Section 2 had found her they had them taken to the hospital she had been staying at. But they had not found the other items she had taken with her, and so fortunately for Asuka, she now had something with which to clothe herself besides the LCL-covered plugsuit.

Since the right sleeve was gone from the plugsuit, Asuka was able to remove the entire thing with ease. Despite it being a pleasant eighty-something degrees outside, Asuka shivered as her bare skin became exposed to the air. She tossed the suit aside, effectively discarding it, with no future plans in mind to come back for it. Next, Asuka removed her red neural links from her hair, something practically unheard of, and retrieved her favorite German brands of shampoo, conditioner, and body soap. She headed into the bathroom (it really ceased to be a room since two of the walls were missing, but it would do) and turned on the spiggot to the shower/tub. Much to her pleasure, not only did the shower still work, it also meant that, in spite of the surrounding devastation, running water was still a working utility.

Much to her chagrin, however, the heater seemed to be offline or broken. There would be no hot shower right now.

Asuka could deal with it, though, just as long as she could wash the sticky LCL off of her.

(Author's note: No, you damn perverts, I'm not going to describe the shower scene! No fan service for you. :P)

As she washed herself, Asuka took care to avoid getting her bandages wet, if possible. She still hadn't tried to remove the bandages, mostly because she wanted to wait until she reached a still-intact hospital. Asuka began to think about the nature of her wounds. First of all, where the hell did the bandages come from? She had been alone in the cockpit of Unit-02 the entire time, there wasn't anyway anyone else could have put them on her. She knew that she certainly didn't put them on, and that she knew of Shinji didn't, either.

And another thing, why was she wounded at all? Asuka felt everything her Eva felt, but never before had it translated into wounds onto her own body. During the forteenth, both the Eva's arms had been sliced off, and she could even feel her arms going slightly numb and could feel the sting of the nubs against the air, but she recovered immediately afterwards, having suffered absolutely no nerve damage at all, never having lost any use of her own arms whatsoever.

But fighting the Eva series, as she was pinned to the ground with a lance shoved through her skull, Asuka had lifted her right arm in defiance, feeling her Eva move in a fit of berserker rage in spite of there being no power left, wanting to get back up and kill the Eva series all over again. And then she not only felt, she SAW her arm being split down the center, the halves flailing as though they were banners in the wind. She could feel the other eight lances being jabbed into her, but it was pretty much after the splitting of her arm that Asuka's conciousness had faded to black.

Point being, if Asuka had never received her Eva's wounds before, why now? Were they simply so synchronized that Asuka had somehow imagined that she saw her arm being split? Was the pain so real that her mind made her think she saw what she saw? Then again, even if they were just replicas, the Lance of Longinus was no ordinary weapon. If the fabled spear, which had pierced the side of Jesus Christ to confirm his death, had the ability to move through AT Fields as though they were not there, and if pilot and Eva were synched, perhaps cutting through one AT Field was like cutting through the other.

Whatever the explanation, Asuka would not soon forget the agony of feeling a sharp, pointed stick shoved through her eyeball, weeping tears of blood and brain fluid.

One thing had been made clear to Asuka, though, during her little skirmish with the baka. Although it hurt like hell, she could still move her arm, AND it had full feeling left in it. This meant that a) her arm was still functional, b) there was no nerve damage that she could tell, and c) all of the above. In all likelihood, her arm would make a full recovery.

However, she had no idea about her eye. And quite frankly, she was a little apprehensive about removing the bandages. What if her eye was damaged or hideously deformed? Or worse, what if it was missing altogether? It would leave an unsightly scar that would ruin her otherwise perfect facial complexion. It would also mean that she would have no depth perception, which would make living in the world much harder for her, let alone end her career as a pilot.

At the moment, though, it looked like she wouldn't be piloting for a long time, anyway. Even if she did ever pilot again, it would be in some new Eva. It would take valuable time and effort to synch and bond with the new machine, and Asuka had neither the time nor the inclination to pilot anything else besides her Unit-02. But of course, as luck would have it, most of Unit-02 was scattered all over the ground while the rest of it was sitting inside the stomachs of the Eva series. That, and her mother was inside of it all along...

But Asuka had managed to make it all the way to Hikari's house with only one good eye, so it wouldn't be impossible for her to get along in the world. And besides, she's the Great Asuka Langely Sohryou; nothing can get her down.

The much-needed shower having reached its conclusion, Asuka dried herself off and rummaged through her brief case for some clothes. She settled on a pair of denim shorts and a red tank-top. The outfit wasn't too revealing, but it also boasted the best features of her feminine form. At least if somebody came to rescue her, she'd look great doing it. Minus the bandages she was wearing, of course.

Finally feeling clean, Asuka let out another sigh. She let down her long, flowing red hair and replaced her neural links. She still felt a lack of energy, but the shower had helped her to feel renewed and revived. She at least felt much better than she had been feeling moments before. Still, she wanted to take another rest break before setting out. She could also use the time to plan out the next course of action. It would more than likely involve a hunt for a hospital, as she needed to perform a detailed inspection of her wounds and insure that they would not become infected.

Asuka checked the couch to make sure that no mold or anything had started to colonize the surface of the fabric before sprawling herself out and getting comfortable. She reasoned that an hour-long nap would suffice to get her strength back up. Asuka had no actual way to know how long an hour was, so she'd simply have to use her own discretion.

As Asuka lay there on that couch, her thoughts turned to her class-representative, fellow student, and best friend, Hikari Horaki. Namely, she thought about how they managed to get so close. While Asuka had never revealed everything about herself to Hikari, especially her past, she had grown to trust in the class-rep, and had on more than one occasion confided some of her dearest secrets to the girl. Asuka wondered why this was so. Ever since her mother's illness, Asuka had never wanted to grow close to anyone ever again.

While she never poured her soul out to Hikari, they were a near-instant hit upon their first meeting. Perhaps it was just because of Hikari's uber-friendly, very-outgoing personality. Maybe she was just doing her job as class-rep in getting to know Asuka. Whatever the reason, Asuka took to Hikari very quickly, and vice versa. For a time, she had even forgotten her vow to never become close to anyone ever again.

Hikari, while not nearly as popular as Asuka, was still well-renound and respected in the school. Like Asuka, she demanded respect and knew how to stand up for herself. Even three certain trouble-makers, who shall remain nameless, but acted like those stooges from the American television show, knew that Hikari was a force to be reckoned with. Perhaps it was only natural that both she and Hikari would grace one another's company, then, seeing as they already had so much in common. They were both popular, respected, and they were not mindless automatons that simply did as they were told. They were not rebels, mind you, especially Hikari, whose duty as a class-rep bound her to uphold law and order, but she had the inner strength and the intelligence to think for herself. That indicated about her a wisdom and maturity beyond her years.

Hikari was, in Asuka's eyes, already a woman. She was not some hormone-driven giddy teenager by any means, she was already an adult. She represented what Asuka had been trying to prove to everyone else, that she was also a fully-matured adult. Asuka also knew, from her many visits, of how Hikari also had to care for her younger siblings all on her own. Not only did she carry the burdens of both school and class-representative on her shoulders, she was also practically raising a family already. Asuka, who currently did not want children, had no idea how to take care of a family, and often wondered how Hikari managed to cope. That was probably the one thing that Hikari could do that Asuka could not.

Maybe Hikari was not just a role model or a standard to which Asuka upheld. Maybe, in some ways, Hikari was also like a mentor or confidant to Asuka.

Maybe even, dare she say, like a mother or a sister.

Asuka knew of no one else like this. She didn't even even feel this close to Misato.

There were some things that Asuka could talk about openly with Misato, and after she had asked about the scar on Misato's chest, a sisterly-bond of sorts had begun to form between them. However, Misato was also her commanding officer, which often made it awkward to talk to her, especially since she had to report everything that the pilots did to NERV. Maybe Misato would exercise good judgement and keep some things confidential, but Asuka never really felt like she could be absolutely sure. And as for living under Misato's care...well, that was just another part of Misato's job. Let's not kid ourselves, it's not as if Asuka, Misato, and the baka were becoming some sort of family. Even if they were, the relationships were artificial, at best.

And really, how do you stay on good terms with the bitch who steals away your man?

But Asuka thought that the relationships were artificial because none of them even wanted a "real" family to begin with. Baka was so desperate for praise and love he'd probably look to a sock to be his father if he felt it would say nice things about him. And Misato was a thirty-something whore who drank and acted like she was a twenty-something college whore, but everything from her skimpy outfits to to her lewd "advances" at Shinji in the mornings to how she swiped Kaji away at the first opportunity suggested that she was just as lonely, if not more so. In the end, neither of them wanted a family, neither of them wanted anything long-term, they were just desperate to have somebody else.

Family. Relationships. Caring.

Love.

Pfft. Nothing but words to describe a fool's abstraction.

Love was stupid and and overrated anyway. Two people didn't stay together because they cared about one another, they stayed together because they just licked each other's wounds. Even if that was some sort of mutually beneficial arrangement, either one of them was replaceable. Both people were expendable in one another's eyes. As long as you had somebody's back to scratch in order that they would scratch yours, it didn't really matter how that somebody was.

And of course, Asuka had the benefit of being enlightened at such a young age and discovering the lie.

For the baka, Misato, and the rest of this godforsaken planet, anybody would do, it didn't matter who, just as long as somebody wasn't ignoring them.

Oh, if only Asuka could see the steaming piles of irony right in front of her.

Then again, deception and self-deception had become Asuka's specialities over the course of seven years.

"It doesn't matter," Asuka told herself for the umpteenth time, "I don't need a family in order to survive. I learned that the hard way a long time ago."

Maybe if she said it enough times, it would come true.

Hikari, on the other hand, had no obligation to spy on her and report everything that was said. Also, for some extremely bizzare reason, she seemed to hold romantic affections for that idiot Touji Suzahara, somebody in whom Asuka would never in a million years hold any sort of interest. So at least she didn't have to worry about Hikari playing the role of home-wrecker.

"But I mean, this is Suzahara....SUZAHARA we're talking about! What the hell, Hikari? You could do ten times better than that piece of dog shit! Hell, baka would probably be more of a man than..."

And immediately Asuka bit her tongue. Under NO circumstances would she ever say anything positive about HIM.

Especially not after he tried to kill her.

And insulted her!

Even though she had forgotten the dream, she remembered very specifically that she had relived the accusation of being a hypocrite. Even when she was awake, it seemed to be getting to her more than she was willing to admit to herself.

"I don't need to rely upon anybody! I've done just fine on my own."

Except that you're an attention whore who has to get by on either Shinji, Hikari, or Kaji.

'You're a goddamn hypocrite!'

"I DON'T need anybody else! I got where I am by putting in 110 while everyone else either got in my way or ate my dust. I'm already a college graduate. I got picked as Germany's pilot because I was the best. The BEST, dammit!"

Except that you're not the best anymore, and it's driving you mad.

"I work hard at piloting, baka just half-asses his way through everything and has everybody holding his hand. (scoff) The only reason he got as far as he did was because his mother was doing all the work for him!"

Except that your mother was protecting you all along.

'You're a goddamn hypocrite!'

"Shinji's the fucking hypocrite, acting all high and mighty during battle but being absolutely pussy-whipped at home and school!"

Except that you're the weak and scared one. The fifteenth even proved it to YOU!

'You're a goddamn hypocrite!'

"He's not going to save me this time! I don't need his help, and I never did! I NEED NOBODY! I HATE YOU ALL! I HATE EVERYTHING!"

Except that Shinji will inevitably have to save you once again.

'You're a goddamn hypocrite!'

And then, when you can't stand to accept that, you'll go crying to Hikari because she's the only one that will feel sorry for you.

'You're a goddamn hypocrite!'

And when that doesn't work, you'll go crying to Kaji because he'll take pity on your sob story.

'You're a goddamn hypocrite!'

Kaji was right, you're still a child.

"I am NOT a child!"

When you don't get your way, you throw temper tantrums, and when you feel threatened, you bicker and tease and berrate. Now what do you suppose acts like that?

'You're a goddamn hypocrite!'

You're just a scared, little girl who thinks that putting on some make-up and playing dress-up suddenly makes her eligible for adulthood. But with nobody to lean on, your little fantasy world is coming down.

'Goddamn hypocrite!'

You wanted to be by yourself, Asuka? Is this the life you wanted so badly? You want to be an adult? Well now you got it. Now take some responsibility for once!

'Hypocrite!'

'Hypocrite!'

'HYPOCRITE!'

"ENOUGH!" Asuka screamed, continuing to breathe hard, forcing her mind to file everything away and never take it back out again.

Deciding that maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to get going lest her mind dwell on other undesirable things, Asuka grunted from fatigue as she got up. She took the suitcase in one hand and began looking around the house for anything else of use that she could carry with her. As Asuka was about to head out the door (which was no longer there, but the door frame still remained and acted as a sort of front entrance), she took one last look around. It had finally occurred to Asuka that she had never thanked Hikari for her hospitality after her mind rape.

Asuka had, more or less, taken refuge with Hikari after the fifteenth. The Angel's forceful probing of her mind had worn down her every defense, leaving her in shambles. The ruins of Hikari's house seemed to reflect and symbolize Asuka's own destruction. She knew that she could face neither Misato nor the baka, especially the baka, in such a state. They would probably see her as weak and disgusting, if they didn't see her that way already. She didn't even want to go to school, not knowing how to face the countless people she bossed around. How would they react seeing a bruised and broken Asuka? All hell would break loose! They'd probably laugh at her for being in such a state. But she knew that Hikari would do no such thing, that Hikari was above all that, and so she ran to Hikari's in the middle of the night and pleaded to let her stay the night.

A "night" quickly turned into a week. Asuka didn't do anything except sit in Hikari's room and play videogames. Hikari would bring dinners up to her, but she hardly ate. She brought Asuka's school papers home for her, but Asuka discarded the papers, having no apparent interest in staying current in school. And every night, despite Asuka's best efforts not to cry and despite Hikari's best efforts to cheer her friend up, she whimpered and sobbed herself to sleep, always muttering about how worthless she feels and how she hates everything.

Looking back on it, Asuka could admit that she had been running away. Not only that, but she had dragged her best friend into it by using her as a crutch. She had taken advantage of Hikari's generosity, and instead of trying to pull herself back together, she stooped to the baka's level and just wallowed in self-misery, leaving a mess she had no intention of cleaning up.

As Asuka stepped outside the ruins of the house, she turned her head back around one last time, a small frown placing itself onto her face. She bowed her head slightly, as though to pay her last respects.

"Hikari, I....I never did thank you for...you know..stuff. Now I guess I can't do that now. But, for what it's worth...thank you. For everything."

After getting that off of her chest, the frown inverted into a small smirk, as Asuka felt like she had one less dark cloud floating over her.

"You're welcome." Hikari answered back.

Asuka jumped back and began bobbing her head left and right, looking for the source of the response. She peaked her ears, listening for the sounds of anyone else. When none made themselves known, Asuka let out a small sigh and berrated herself. "Verdamnt, Asuka, get ahold of yourself. You're loosing it." She laughed a very small laugh, easily convincing herself that it must have been her imagination. Although she had seen stranger things via the Angels, Asuka did not believe in ghosts or apparitions, and so all it could be was her imagination.

Having determined that all was well, Asuka now set out to find a hospital.

I think the point I'm trying to stress here is that the whole "I don't need anybody, I'm too good for this shit" attitude of Asuka's is, I feel, a lie she tells herself in order to either comfort herself or to make things easier to accept. But that's just what I think, I encourage you to form your own opinions.