Disclaimer : I don't own any of the characters. If I did, I'd probably be lying comfortably in a deckchair in the sun, overlooking the pool of my Beverly Hills mansion. I'd be sipping on my Strawberry Margarita, and of course, I'd be writing an episode that brings Doug back to the show!
What happened so far : Susan left from her own birthday party. Doug found her crying on the roof and wanted to take her home. She asks him in, they get drunk and end up sleeping together. When waking up together, they realize what they've done to Mark and Carol. They were both late for work, and Randi and Jerry already suspect something. Susan and Doug talked about their ‚mistake' and agree on telling Carol and Mark about it. Mark shows up at County for a surprise visit and immediately sees that something's wrong with Susan because she's acting really strange when she's around him.
CONFESSIONS PT. I
After Susan was done with the suturing, had taken care of the dog bite, and sent the little girl with the complicated wrist fracture to an orthopedist , her shift was finally over. This was one of the very few days on which Susan would have preferred to work for some more hours. But it was time to face the consequences and tell Mark about it. Susan walked over to admittance to sign herself out. "I'm done for today. I'm taking off," she said to Jerry while she put some charts into a folder. Then she turned to Jerry again. "Um...Jerry...is Doug still there?" She wanted to let him know that Mark was in town.
Jerry raised his eyebrows. He was probably thinking of the conversation he'd had with Randi this morning when Doug and Susan both got in late. "Dr. Ross? Yeah. He's got a GSW in trauma 2," he replied. "Why?"
"Uh... never mind. Thanks, Jer." Susan smiled at the brown-haired admitting clerk and went back to the doctor's lounge. Mark was still there, sitting on the couch, drinking a coffee with Lydia.
"I'm done for today," Susan said and got out of her lab coat and put it on a coat hanger.
Lydia sighed. "Lucky you. I'm on a double shift today. I'd better go back to work now. See you tomorrow, Dr. Lewis. Bye, Dr. Greene."
As soon as Lydia had left the room and Susan was alone with Mark, the whole awkwardness came back. And even if Susan hadn't said a word about Doug yet, and Mark couldn't possibly know anything about it, there was a strange tension between the two of them – something they have never experienced before.
"Want some Coffee, Susan?"
"No. Thanks."
Mark leaned back on the couch and watched her putting some things into her locker. "Susan...what's wrong? You don't behave like yourself today," Mark said, sounding concerned.
Susan turned around and for the first time today, she really looked at him. She grabbed her jacket and closed her locker. "Can we...can we go for a walk?"
"Sure." Mark took one last sip from his coffee and got up from the couch. He put his coffee mug into the sink and followed Susan outside. It was a fairly cold afternoon and not too many people were on the road. Mark and Susan slowly walked out of the ambulance bay, side by side, but without saying a word to each other.
"Are you mad at me because I couldn't make it to your party?" Mark asked her after a while when the silence between the two of them became unbearable.
Susan shook her head. The fact that Mark tried to blame himself made her feel even more guilty.
"No... I'm not mad at you. It's not you... it's me... I'm mad at myself.... Mark...I think there's something I have to tell you..."
Mark was pretty confused. He had no idea what Susan was talking about. "Susan, we've been best friends for such a long time... You can tell me anything..." Mark reached out for Susan's hand and gently pressed her, which made Susan feel even more miserable. "Susan....Whatever it is...TELL ME," Mark urged.
Susan wished she wouldn't have to reply. But she had to. Lying would make this only worse. "Actually I didn't mind that you weren't here in time for my party... I haven't even been to the party myself....well...except for a few minutes...."
Mark still looked puzzled. "Why? What happened?"
"I left...because...I don't know...I wanted to be on my own, so I went up to the roof... That's where Doug found me... Eventually we left together... we had a couple of drinks at my house....we got drunk...we got really drunk...and well...we.."
Mark's eyes widened. She couldn't.... She wouldn't.... "Oh my gosh... Please tell me you didn't...."
Susan put her head down and nodded. "We did." she said weakly.
Mark let go of Susan's hand. He shook his head and stepped back. He couldn't believe what Susan had just told him. "How...how could you?" Mark gazed at her in bewilderment. You could clearly see that he was aggravated and angry, even though he tried to stay calm.
"We were drunk....it was a stupid mistake...I wish I could make it undone..."
"How could do this to Carol?! She's your best friend! And you know all about Doug and Carol!"Mark shouted, finally showing his real emotions.
Susan glanced at Mark. She had known him for so many years, but she had never seen him being as angry with her before. But Mark was not only angry. His face and his body language expressed so much more. Rage. Disappointment. Resentment. After all, for so many years, there has been something like an unwritten rule between the four of them, that Doug would never make a move on Susan, for everything that had been and could be between Doug and Carol, and Mark - apart from the fact that he was married – would never make a move on Carol.
"I'm sorry....I never meant to do this....it just happened....it didn't mean anything to us... it was just something incredibly stupid..."
"Stupid? Indeed. How could you do this to your best friend...?" he shouted again, then paused for a moment and corrected himself. "...Friends" Obviously, he wasn't only disappointed because of what they had done to Carol....he was also a little jealous. Susan had always been his best friend. She had always been a special person for him and he couldn't believe that she had slept with his other best friend.
Susan had tears in her eyes. She regretted that night with Doug more than anything. "Mark, I'm sorry....I'm so sorry."Susan grabbed Mark's arm.
He pushed her hand away. Tears were now rolling down Susan's cheeks. "Mark..."
"You've crossed the line...." Mark said and walked away.
... TBC ...
Well, this was Confessions pt. I, but I'm already working on Confessions pt. II which is most likely NOT going to be the next chapter...but you'll see. And yes, Carol will appear soon, too. I'll try to update again tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. Thank you so much for the lovely reviews britgirl2003, nycdiva2k3 & verity-mac. I'm really happy about reviews and I appreciate any kind of feedback. So please tell me what you think of this chapter. And as for the Dousan thing... I'm still undecided whether this story will actually lead to a Dousan romance or not. Most likely it will... but we'll see :)