Chapter 4: How to catch a Hiei
I woke up the next morning (which happened to be Saturday) and squinted at the light streaming in through my still open window. Hiei must have left while I was actually asleep. I rolled over and closed my eyes and thought about what had happened. What was I supposed to do now? How do you convince a person as determined as Hiei to change his mind? And how would he react if he knew I was awake. I was very surprised that he thought I really was sleeping but maybe he wanted me to hear it. Well, that moment was over now. I had to get up and get ready for a new day.
I stretched my arms over my head as I laid in bed and arched my back to help my muscles awake. I sighed sleepily and then walked out of my room to the kitchen. My sister was sitting in a chair at the table wearing a giant T-shirt that had belonged to my dad. She looked cold because she hugged her knees to her chest under the T-shirt to keep warm. I too noticed that it was getting a little colder than usual today. Winter was just around the corner.
"How'd you sleep, Kumiko?" Mom said while she washed her hands at the kitchen sink.
"Pretty good. I fell asleep a little late last night so I'm still kind of tired," I answered with a yawn.
"Well, your sister was up watching television all night so she's dead tired," said Mom drying off her hands and pointing toward my sister. Her eyes were closed and head rested on her covered knees. I laughed lightly and rested my elbows on the table as I sat down.
"Oh, by the way, mom, I've got to re-dye my hair. Just so you know."
"Thanks for the warning, sweetheart. No offense but that dye stinks!" she said and I laughed as she made a face. It was really strong but because it was so full of ammonia. "I'm making some biscuits if you want some. They'll be out in about 25 minutes."
"Alright. That'll give me enough time to dye my hair. So call me when they're done," I said getting up and getting a bowl from the cabinet before heading to my own bathroom.
Opening up the medicine cabinet, I looked through the contents and found my black hair dye in the back. I had to hide it from my little sister because Mom was afraid she'd try to dye her own hair black. I grabbed a towel from the rack and set the bowl on the sink counter. After mixing the dye liquids together and applying them to my hair, I was stuck sitting and waiting with a towel around my neck, protecting my shoulders. I decided not to take a chance of ruining my shirt so I sat on the covered toilet in a bra and jeans.
My plan of action was what filled my mind. Somehow, I had to find a way to make Hiei stay or take me with him. He was really determined to keep me distanced though. I was too stubborn to give up. I wasn't going to go down without a fight and I was planning on him doing the same thing. I realized that what he was trying to do for me was out of concern but I didn't care if being with him put me in danger. What if that's what I wanted? What if I WANTED to face danger with him? But he wouldn't let me.
My thoughts were rudely interrupted when the door to the bathroom swung open revealing Yusuke breathing hard and I screamed.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?" I yelled and pushed him out before slamming the door in his face. "You're such an idiot!"
"Well you didn't even lock the door!" he said from outside the door.
"I don't usually have people barging in on me so I don't need to!" I said with a huff. "What do you want anyway?"
"I gotta tell you something important."
"What?" I said in a rather snippy and annoyed tone.
"It's about Hiei," he said slowly.
"What about him?" I said realizing I needed to rinse out the dye now.
"Are you sure you want me to say it out here?"
"You're sure as hell not coming in here! And it's not like anyone in my family knows about Hiei," I said over the running water of the shower.
"Well, I'm not sure how to say this…but Hiei's leaving."
"HE'S WHAT?!" I yelled and turned off the water. Using a new towel and drying my hair, I continued my conversation. "Where is he going??"
"He's kind of going to…. to… Makai."
"So? It's not like he can't some back or something."
"Well, that's the thing. Trips between Ningenkai and Makai are very rare. So basically, once he's gone, he can't come back," Yusuke said.
"You're not serious, are you?"
"Sure am. He's leaving later today or early tomorrow. He wanted me to tell you goodbye."
"No, no, no, no, no. He's not making YOU say goodbye to me FOR him! I'm going to find him!" I said putting my shirt back on and wrapping the towel around my head.
"How do you expect to find him? He's probably long gone by now."
"If I know Hiei," I said opening the door finally, "Then he's going to stick around her as long as he can. I know he doesn't want to leave but thinks he has to."
I walked into my bedroom and found my shoes and slid them on quickly. Yusuke followed me and when I stood up and looked him in the eye (well, I TRIED to look him in the eye….. I was making eye contact, ok?? I was just a little… A lot too short to look him straight in the eye) he nodded. We both knew what was going to happen and we knew it had to be quick.
"Let's go."
-
"Do you even know where you're going?" Yusuke asked me and I shushed him and continued on to the deserted valley.
"Of course I do!! I know Hiei's tree better than anyone!" I said in an exasperated tone because truthfully, I was totally lost. I hadn't been to Hiei's tree in months and was just a little bit confused.
Hiei always had this one tree that he particularly liked to hang out in so anytime I wanted to find him, I would look in his tree. I wondered why he didn't just switch tree when he didn't want to be found but I don't think there ever was a time when he didn't want me to find him.
I wasn't quite looking were I was going and I hit my head straight into a tree, knocking myself back and quite dizzy. At this point, Yusuke started being an idiot again.
"Ding dong, The witch is dead! Which old witch? The wicked witch!! DING DONG, THE WICKED WITCH IS DEEEEEEEAAAAAAAD!!!" he started singing at the top of his lungs and I kicked him as well as I could from the ground and yelled at him that I wasn't dead so he could stop celebrating.
"You're such a dork," I said under my breath and he smiled, flashing a victory sign. I laughed and stood up. I looked up at the tree I ran into and noticed it looked familiar. Then I saw a thick branch in the middle of the tangle that had the bark worn off of from repeated contact from something else.
Something else little and dressed in black that happened to be sitting there with his hands behind his head and his eyes staring own at us.
"Alright, short stuff," Yusuke said and I saw Hiei roll his eyes. "Kumiko needs to talk to you."
He hopped down from the tree and landed soundlessly on the ground.
I turned around to face Yusuke and motioned with my head for him to leave. He nodded and started walking briskly away. When his footsteps were too faint to hear, I turned to Hiei with a serious look.
"Hiei, Yusuke told me everything and I just wanted to ask why the hell are you doing this?" I said and took a step forward. He took one back but didn't say anything in response. "Say something, dammit! When I heard, I came straight here. I don't know what you hope to accomplish by leaving. I won't forget. I won't stop caring. And neither will you. So why bother to try?
His eyes widened as he realized what I had said. I gave him a look that assured what he was thinking.
"You know not of what you speak," he answered crossing his arms and looking away.
"Don't play stupid! You know I was awake last night. I heard every word you said. Please don't leave," I said, first peeved then desperate.
"Sometimes the right path is not always the easiest."
"Why are you afraid that I'll get hurt?"
He paused for a moment then looked at me in the eyes once more and said, "Because I've had someone close to me hurt because I couldn't be there. I couldn't take that again."
My eyes softened as I took another step toward him and this time, he didn't back away.
"Who was it, Hiei?" I asked with a softness in my voice.
"My sister. My only living relative. Do you understand why I have to leave now? This is why I can't stay with you? Maybe one day when I'm off the Reikai team, then maybe we can start over. But until then, there's no way."
I looked long and hard at him and then he spoke again.
"We live in reality, Kumiko. In reality, things happen. People get hurt, murdered, die. I'd rather live knowing I saved you by getting away from you than spend every moment worrying that something would go wrong. My life is a living Hell. You don't want that. You ask for pain when you stay with me. That's all I've ever known. Pain, suffering, and loss. I don't want to loose the one thing I was finally allowed to have."
"You'll lose me if you leave!" I retorted and he shook his head. The tears streamed down my face as I listened to what Hiei was saying. He was right, I knew he was, but why did the right thing FEEL like the wrong thing?! I squeezed my eyes shut and lowered my head. I held my breath to keep the sobs inside of me and started trembling.
"This is not real… I'm at home in my bed, asleep. My mom should be coming in right now to shake me awake. I'm going to go to school and sit in my tree and think about this weird dream," I whispered as I forced myself to breathe. "I'm going to still be hoping that Hiei comes back and be the opposite of my dream. Hiei and I will live happily ever after with little Hiei's and Kumikos.
I couldn't feel my fingertips as I clasped my sides and bent over. Dizziness came over me and I struggled to keep my balance. My body was going numb. I couldn't feel, I couldn't see, I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe. The tears flowed freely out of my eyes but I never emitted a cry or snivel. I could only drop to my knees and shake.
"Kumiko, what are you doing? Are you alright?" asked Hiei who was extremely concerned. He kneeled down next to my and put his arm around me but I screamed.
"NO!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "You can't leave! I've waited years for you, Hiei and the day after our re-meeting, you run off again! Why do you keep doing this to me!!"
I exploded into sobs. I didn't bother to hold them in any longer. I had been doing that for too long. I screamed and cried and yelled a Hiei and each time he would try to comfort me or get me to stand up, I'd refuse to let him near me. I was at my lowest low and no matter how much I tried, I couldn't even think straight. My head felt like it was about to implode while my breaths came in and out in short spasms as I quaked helplessly on the ground.
"Kumiko," he whispered in a soothing tone. I looked up at him with a red, tear-stained face and puffy, pink eyes. He looked down at me first with pity, then with a smile. Suddenly, he yanked me to my feet and pressed his lips to mine. It was quick and mundane but it was what I needed.
"I love you," I whispered between bursts of breath. He smiled back and pulled me into a warm embrace. I looked behind him and a black void appeared about the size of a basketball.
"The portal. Koenma must have finally opened it," said Hiei letting me go and starting to walk toward it.
"Wait," I interrupted and grabbed his hand. "Promise me something."
"I can't come back, Kumiko."
"No, not that. Promise me…. That you won't forget me."
He smiled and me and I let go of his hand. When he reached the portal, which had grown rather quickly, he looked back and something small and shining fell to the ground. An another. And another. I looked at his face but he had turned away.
"I'll never forget you. I'll never stop loving you. I'll never stop thinking about you. I can't stop. Now promise me something. Promise me that you'll never shut up. Promise me that you'll smile and laugh a lot. And don't wait up for me."
He jumped into the portal and it promptly closed after he disappeared into the darkness.
I stared at the now empty air for a long time when I noted a sparkle come from the grass. Then I remembered. Hiei's tear gems. Swiftly, I rushed over ad kneeled down to gather the tiny black pebbles up.
Three black jewels. My lost reminder of the fire demon. What was I saying? Everything reminded me of Hiei! The trees, the night, the stars, a flame, the snow. Everything was a constant reminder. But maybe I was never meant to forget. Perhaps I was destined to secretly hope for the day that would never come. I carefully placed the black gems into my pocket and walked away from Hiei's tree. As I looked up into the cloudless sky, I smiled. Things were going to be different.
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A/N: there you go! There's one more chapter after this. It's a little shorter than the others that was never really meant to be included but I thought it might make it a little more of a happy ending. REVIEW!!!