Title: Family Christmas
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any associated characters or places. J.K. Rowling and her publishers do.
Summary:Ron gives Harry a gift. Not slash. Sixth year at Christmas. It's done from the POV of both Harry and Ron. I am taking a few liberties with a couple of facts, especially because I have not read the books in a few months. If you see something not quite right, but close, please ignore the inconsistency.
Warning: This is slightly OOC and, to me, mushy and slashy if it weren't for facts written into the story. It is OOC because I have made Harry slightly despondant in his grief, rather than the brash teenager he was in the fifth book; and Ron is growing up and has been genuinely concerned about Harry for a while, not to mention his own personal revelations. He is far from the jealous friend that he was in the fourth book.
I sit at my usual place in the Great Hall. Ron, of course, is across from me. The two of us play chess, as it seems to be the only thing available to do at the moment.
"Harry!"
I look up at my best friend. "Hmm?"
"You've been staring into space, mate. It's your turn."
"Oh, of course." I give my orders to the chess pieces, effectively demolishing one of Ron's pawns. He will still win, though.
"What do you think Hermione's doing at the moment?"
I shrug. "She's probably enjoying time with her parents. You didn't have to stay. You know that, right?"
"You're wrong, mate. I had to stay. I had to stay here for you."
"No you didn't. You should be with your family. It's downright dull here. You and I are the only students staying besides the second year Slytherin." He really didn't have to stay. I feel as though I'm pitied more than ever before. I think I'm the only one mourning Sirius anymore. Remus might be, but I haven't seen him since the end of fifth year. It's Christmas of my sixth year now. Ron is my only company.
"Of course I did, mate. You don't get it, do you?" He gives me a crooked smile. I honestly cannot say what it is filled with. Exasperation? Sympathy? Pity? Humor? It could have been so many things, but I knew it held a secret that I should have known.
"I don't need pity, Ron."
He snorts. "I hardly think you need anymore of that. My mum and Professor McGonnagall give more than enough of that. Naw. If I pity anyone, I pity myself for being a blind git for so many years." I wonder why he thinks he's been a blind git, but know that answer is not what I want at the moment. Perhaps he is referring to how much richer he is compared to me.
I make another move in chess that proves disastrous. Ron ends up taking my knight. "Then why?" I suppose it's a challenge. I don't think Ron realizes how important he is to me. Hagrid might have been the one to first introduce me to the wizarding world and the first to extend kindness and friendship, but it was Ron's offer of friendship that I first accepted. He's the friend that has stood by my side in all the foolish adventures, if you could call them that, that we ever had. I wonder if he knows how amazed I was at his willingness to stand by me as he had allowed the white queen to take him in our very first adventure. That loyalty was, and still is, why I will never doubt that we will always remain friends, because he would do it all over again and I would be more than willing to reciprocate.
"It's because you are my family, Harry."
I blink. Family? All I can think is that my family died with Sirius, the man I almost call 'father'. I think Ron realizes my confusion and shakes his head.
"Harry, you should know by now that you're my brother. It's in everything but blood and red hair." He quirks a smile. "You don't actually think that after everything we've been through, from chess games to jealousy to everything else that you could be anything less. That's why I'm here with you. You're my family. That's just the way it is. And if you can't accept that, then I'll have to hex you until you get some sense knocked into you."
I can still only stare. He's telling me that I have in him the one thing that I am jealous of him for. "Family?"
"Yeah, Harry." He makes another move with his queen. "Checkmate." He folds his arms across his chest in satisfaction, even though he always wins against me.
I look down at the board. I barely have any pieces left, while Ron is left with a multitude. I can't help but pick up his black queen. He almost always lets me be white.
"Harry?" He's concerned. "I didn't say something wrong, did I? Hermione will kill me if I did, you know." His satisfaction has left him for worry instead.
"You didn't." I pause, "Thank you, Ron."
"For what?"
"For being my family."
"You have loads of family."
I clutch the queen in my hand tighter and block out her screams that I'm squeezing her too tightly, despite her being made of stone. My eyes are shut just as tight. Vaguely, I can hear Ron climb over the table that separates us. Now I know Ron doesn't realize how important he is to me. He doesn't realize what a precious gift he has just given. He doesn't realize how he is the only one that is part of my family, if what he says is true... even with words stating I have more. He is the only living person to ever tell me he wanted to be my family.
I register that his body is close. One arm is wrapped around me, while the other is trying to loosen my grip on the black queen. When I realize that he is trying to gently pry it out of my hand, I give in. There is no point in clutching on any longer. Both arms are around me now and I realize I'm on the verge of crying, but I suppress the tears. Still, I'm glad there is no one else in the Great Hall to witness this, as I hate attention for anything I do.
"It's alright Harry." I bring my own arms around him and hold tightly. He doesn't seem to mind like the black queen did. Never, in all the five and a half years have I known him, have we ever hugged. Now, he is my lifeline for this bout of tears that still threaten to come.
Eventually, I win the internal battle in fighting the tears and I loosen my hold on my best friend... on my brother. I'm embarrassed, but Ron isn't looking at me in pity, thus it is a small comfort.
He pulls back from me, and I let him. "You alright now?"
I shake my head in negative. I cannot lie right now. I feel as though something in my life has cracked, but I don't know if that is good or bad. I rest my head back on his shoulder as I feel it get heavier from exhaustion.
"What's wrong then?"
I simply shake my head where it lies. I feel so weak for letting someone, even if it is Ron, for seeing me like this... for holding me as one would to comfort a small child. I feel as though I'm at the end of everything, but I don't want to let go of this feeling.
"Come on, then. Let's get you up to bed. Can't have you falling asleep down here, now can we?"
Reluctantly, I allow him to pull me up. I only wait for him to pack up the chess set before following him to the common room. There, standing in all its glory, is the Christmas tree. The amount of gifts I received this year is more than ever before. Half the D.A. and several order members had given me token gifts. The usual Weasley sweater was among the gifts, along with gifts from Ron, Hermione, Remus, and Hagrid. Still, as I had opened my gifts this morning, I had never felt so alone, even with Ron by my side. Now...
"Harry?" I turn my attention to him. "Will you be alright?"
"Yes." I say this with almost perfect certainty. At least somewhere inside of me knows it.
He smiles. "Good." Both of us simply sit by the fire, despite earlier intentions of having me going to bed. Slowly, I begin to drift off and once again begin to take advantage of my newfound brother's broad shoulders. I cannot help but crave the comforting physical contact that Ron is allowing me; after all, I have craved and yearned for it all my life.
----
I moved Harry so his head was resting in my lap. I nearly saw him break this evening. The events of last year have taken its toll on Harry. He still has not dealt with the year before that, either. When I revealed to him that I thought of him as a brother, he might as well have been stupefied. I watched as he let the words sink in. The longing exuded only in his eyes was overpowering. I knew, then, that a great disservice had been done to the boy who had saved us all. The wizarding world had simply thrown him away the night his parents died, only to be brought back to the wizarding world, expecting him to save all of them once again. When was it his turn to be saved?
He didn't believe me when I told him he had loads of family. It is, of course, true. The disbelief that Harry held nearly broke me, but instead I held onto my little brother to prevent him from breaking. Now, his head is in my lap and I cannot help but think back on everything about Harry I knew and remembered. I didn't think that I was capable of hate to the point of my needing to seek revenge. This feeling I have, though, is not the righteous indignation I feel for Malfoy. No. This is pure, unadulterated, hate for one Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.
I know chess, and as such, I know strategy. Knowing what I know, including snippets of conversation that occurred at Grimmauld Place for the past two summers, I am suddenly seeing everything with startling clarity. I know everyone thinks that I am slow on the uptake, and perhaps I am, but perhaps a little bit of Harry and Hermione has rubbed off on me. The summer before fifth year, the Order was always talking about a weapon. The summer before this year, I found out that it was in reference to Harry. Perhaps they were only using it as a codeword, but I know that for Dumbledore, he was probably being literal. Looking back, I have always wondered how the man could know so much about everything, and yet miss that Quirrell was allowing Voldemort to act as a parasite while three eleven year olds pieced together loads of facts in order to save the philosopher's stone. How could he not realize that it was a basilisk, yet so easily identify Mrs. Norris having been petrified and not even worry about the ramifications of such an unknown thing along with being so confident that everything would work out in the end? How could he actually been so oblivious to Pettigrew's betrayal when he was such a master legimens? I highly doubt it is because of his acting skills.
Looking back at it all, I think he was just sharpening his weapon. Had he made any attempts at having a trial for Sirius, he would have been forced to let Sirius raise Harry. Harry would have had a decent life, and perhaps a penchant for trouble like the twins, but he would have been a child, like he should have been. When it came to the philosopher's stone, why would he trust Hagrid to keep a secret when it is no secret that Hagrid can't keep one? Why would he tempt Harry with the invisibility cloak? Use it well, indeed. He was testing Harry, and each year, the test became more difficult. How easy it was to neglect to put warding on the goblet of fire to prevent anyone from putting in any name but their own. I honestly think he wanted Harry to compete. I think he wanted Harry to find that loophole himself. It only became shock and horror to him when there became two Hogwarts champions, and realized that it was against Harry's will to be in the competition that he realized there were other people willing to have Harry as their pawn. Still, he did nothing because Harry was still going to compete, and Harry ended up lucky only because a death eater was so willing to point him in the right direction.
Last year seems to be the only year that he expected Harry to actually play the part of a passive little boy that my mum has always seemed to think he should be. He wanted Harry to do exactly what he was told, without knowing why he had to do it. He never gave Harry the slightest glimmer of truth. He never made any motions to help the moody, temperamental, teenager that Harry had become. For Merlin's sake, Harry witnessed someone being murdered, and no one except Cho dared to even talk about it with Harry, and that ended up a right mess. That whole year was a series of mistakes that Dumbledore made, and it cost Harry's godfather his life.
This year, Dumbledore is pushing for Harry to forget about Sirius, and to move on and put everything he has in to learning so that he can utilize what he knows against Voldemort. Harry just glares at Dumbledore whenever he suggests such a thing, or even talks to him, really. Still, Harry refuses to talk about Sirius. Once, Harry forgot to put up his silencing charms, that he's begun to utilize, and I could hear him whimpering in his sleep. He went from crying out for Sirius to whimpering for his Papa. Somewhere along the way, Sirius had become Harry's father, even if neither ever realized it, and even if no one else realized it. It happened even when neither knew each other well and when half the time Sirius was searching for James in Harry. It just goes to show how heavy the need was and is for Harry to have family. Dumbledore cannot just expect Harry to forget about Sirius without ever dealing with his death first, and Dumbledore is not allowing that. He is not allowing Harry to grieve like he needs to, and thus Harry is breaking. Dumbledore is treating Harry like a Griffindor is expected to be, all brave and tough, but I don't think Harry ever was supposed to be in Griffindor. It took him so long to be sorted, longer than anyone else, that I think the hat wanted to place him somewhere else before Griffindor. It definitely wasn't Ravenclaw, as Harry isn't one who has any impulse to do well in school. It wasn't Hufflepuff, either, because while Harry is loyal to a fault, there is determination hidden behind those eyes of his. Determination and ambition and cunning-- Harry has it all. Sure, Harry's brave, but there's always the slightest hesitation before he acts and it is only ever by him being led into a situation he cannot get out of. Harry should have been in Slytherin, yet Dumbledore cannot see that. Hell, most of the time, I don't want to see it. I hate knowing that if he were placed there, I would have pushed away his friendship because he would have been a slimy Slytherin. He does not see that Harry is not the typical Griffindor who can simply get up and brush himself off after anything. Yet Dumbledore pushes, and I hate him for it. I hate how he's manipulated Harry to such a point as to him having a saving people thing and feels guilty if he does or doesn't act on it. I hate especially that he has pushed so hard that Harry barely functions like he used to. Harry is the old man forced into the disguise of a young boy by the naive child in the guise of an old man.
Harry is not a chess piece, yet Dumbledore does not see that. Harry needs to grieve, and Dumbledore does not see that. Harry is breaking, and all anyone can do is look on him with pity while Dumbledore breaks him further and blames it on Voldemort.
This Christmas, I watched Harry as I gave him something that I realize now that he did not know he had. I gave him my love as a brother, and I have never felt so protective of someone until now, not even with Ginny. I sometimes think that despite everything Harry has gone thru, he is sometimes the younger than anyone thinks, except my mum, who thinks everyone will stay six years old forever. My brother's gone through so much more than anyone, yet he is so much more innocent and naive as well... even if Sirius's death has slowly been stripping these away. It just means I'll have to protect him. Harry can handle Voldemort, but I'll protect him from everything else, as it is not Voldemort I worry about anymore. At least with Voldemort, he simply wishes to kill a boy, who refuses to physically die, but everyone else is killing Harry internally and Harry cannot stop that without help. I'll need to recruit Hermione, as she loves Harry just as much as I. The two of us will have to be Harry's army against the world. The general of the opposing army... Dumbledore.
----
"Ah, how did you two lads enjoy Christmas?" Albus asked as soon as Harry and Ron walked into the great hall the next morning.
"Well enough, Sir." Ron saw that there were only two seats left, and they were both to the left of the meddling codger. He sat himself in the seat next to Albus, leaving Harry to sit next to his own left. Ron watched as Albus Dumbledore frowned before masking it with a congenial smile.
"And you, Harry?" Albus had wanted Harry to sit next to him in hopes of winning him back over, despite the irreparable damage done at the end of last year.
"Well enough." Harry simply echoed Ron's words. He wanted nothing to do with the man, yet he was forced to deal with him anyway.
Albus nodded, "Good."
Silence fell upon the table as they all began eating. It was Minerva McGonnagall that took notice of the small mutinous looks that Ron sent to Dumbledore every few bites. She also noticed how the boy took a protective air about himself when looking to Harry, who would give a small, albeit there, smile. It made her wonder about the thoughts that the youngest Weasley boy could be having about the esteemed headmaster as the boy was clearly very loyal and protective of his friend. The redhead was probably holding some righteous anger towards the headmaster on Harry's behalf, especially as the tension between Albus and Harry had been increasing over the past couple months. But no, Minerva knew that look, and it was not righteous anger. It was pure, unadulterated, hatred for the man. When she would confront the hotheaded boy within the next week, she would get her answer, and she would not say another word to anyone, for she would agree, despite her love for her secret husband.
"He is breaking my brother."
That would be his answer, and she would realize something else as well. Harry and Ron were obviously family now. She was glad Harry had someone now that would be his defender, just as Sirius had been for the boy.
Whatdaya think?
