5 – Natural History

It's 11:15. Was I really out that late? Felicity unlocked the door crept into the motel room.

Ben was still awake, sitting on the bed watching television. She thought she saw a tense look in his eyes, but it was gone in the next instant. She closed the door behind her. "I thought you'd be asleep by now."

He muted the television. "How was dinner?"

Her mouth curled into a smile. "Nice. You should have come."

"I wasn't really feeling like it," he shrugged. "What did you two talk about?"

"Mostly what we've been doing since high school." She rounded the bed to her nightstand and fished out the contents of her pocket, setting them down: some change, the museum ticket stub, and a piece of paper with Eric's number on it. "I'm going to take a shower." She noticed an odd look on his face. "What's wrong?"

His eyes flashed up from her nightstand. The odd look was gone. "Nothing."

She frowned in puzzlement but said nothing. Scooping up her bag, she headed for the bathroom.

- - - - -

Ben had been silent almost all morning while they were at the National Zoo, and for the better part of the early afternoon while they toured the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. Felicity flipped through the sheaf of tour brochures in her hand. "So this is our last day in Washington," she announced, forcing a cheer she didn't feel. "Did we miss anything you want to see?"

He shrugged a shoulder. "Are you sure you don't want to drop by Eric's and say goodbye before we leave?"

"Eric? No. Why?"

"I just thought you would, since you're friends with him."

She shook her head. "No. He's going to be busy, anyway. It's his boyfriend's birthday."

"Boyfriend?"

"Yeah, he's gay." She noticed a smile spreading across Ben's face, the first real one she'd seen on him all day. "What now?"

"I just thought—I thought he was into you."

Felicity couldn't help laughing at that notion. "Not even close. We've been friends since junior high."

They made their way through an exhibit of South American culture. She was looking over a display of pottery when Ben asked, "Are you disappointed you didn't go to Berlin?"

The question caught her off guard. She blinked, wondering where that had come from all of a sudden. A question of her own sprang to her lips before she could think. "Are you disappointed Julie didn't come on the trip?"

"I didn't ask her not to," he countered.

"I know you didn't. That wasn't what I asked."

A muscle worked in his jaw. "Julie made up her own mind not to come. It would have been fine with me if she did, but she didn't. What does it matter now?"

She turned to face him. "Why does Berlin matter?"

"It doesn't," he barked.

Felicity pursed her lips and started pacing through the exhibit again. "You brought it up."

He didn't say anything to that.

"Look," she tried again, looking back at him. "I feel guilty about Julie and Noel, but I wanted to come on this trip." I'm starting to wonder if you think it was a mistake, though, she added silently.

They said nothing further during their tour of the museum. The uneasiness between them was palpable. They made their way slowly back to the entrance of the museum, a multi-story rotunda at the center of which stood a magnificent specimen of a bull African elephant.

Felicity had given up small talk for a lost cause. She started for the exit on the other side of the rotunda, looking at the elephant as she paced around it.

Ben followed, hanging back, then stopped altogether. "This is stupid."

She halted. "What's stupid?"

Ben shifted his weight to the other foot. "This. You and me, tiptoeing around each other for the whole trip like this."

People wound their way around them going in and out of the museum. Felicity pursed her lips, faced at last with asking the question that had been plaguing her. "Do you—Do you think this trip was a bad idea?"

A pair of children went racing past between them, bumping Ben as they went. He waved them on with a preoccupied smile and closed the distance between her and himself. "No. Not the trip. The trip has been great so far. I mean the way you and I are…trying to be friends."

Felicity felt a stab of hurt. The rotunda's sound recording of African wildlife rang in her ears. "You don't want to be friends?"

He sighed and raised his eyes to the tiled dome, obviously searching for words. Looking frustrated, he lowered his gaze back to hers.

She choked and looked away, trying the force down the embarrassing tears filling her eyes. "I should have known this was all a mistake. Maybe I should have gone with Noel—"

"No." The word was short, forceful.

Felicity's gaze snapped back to his in surprise.

Ben frowned and threw a hand in the air. "I know you want to be friends, and I'm trying to do that. I am. I like you. I wasn't kidding when I said that." He took a step closer until they stood toe to toe. "I just don't get it. I don't understand how you can be so okay with that, when all I really want to do is—" He broke off, took her face in his hands, and kissed her soundly.

Electricity buzzed up her spine. Felicity dropped the brochures in her hand and they went slithering to the floor in every direction. The other museum-goers faded. The recording of African wildlife faded. The elephant beside them faded. She closed her eyes.

Ben pulled away at last, but kept his hands on either side of her face.

Her eyes fluttered open and she stared at him. Seconds ticked by.

The corner of his mouth quirked upward. He searched her eyes, looking nervous. "Say something."

She found her voice, but it wasn't much help. "Uh…"

He lowered his hands to her shoulders. "Are you going to run away from me again if I let go of you?"

She shook her head, still staring.

He released her, dropping his hands to his sides.

Felicity blinked. His face blurred. She felt a tear slide down her cheek…and she smiled.

Ben's eyes lit up and he grinned at her. He leaned forward and kissed her again.