Beyond Reasoning
Chapter 15
Church Stuffs

I didn't understand it.
And I was terrified of it.
Once again, I rolled over in my bed attempting to get up only to turn my head when I was at the side of my bed and find it covered in feathers. A fear rose in me, one that couldn't explain why there where feathers all about. Vash had told me about him finding a few when cleaning my cuts but I don't understand it. What was happening to me? Quickly I picked up the small feathers and opened the window throwing them outside then once again shutting the window. Bitting my lip I ran my fingers on the sides of my arms as I had them crossed against my chest. OI should just tell Vash but he didn't need to worry over something as stupid as feathers in my bed. Who knew, maybe Meryl had a whole in the wall that birds could get into every night and as they flew to their nest, hidden somewhere in my room, feathers where left in their trail. Closing my eyes I tried to find some way of doing something. I knew deep down that the feathers wern't from birds and my imagination was running circles around me again. What ever was happening was with me and me alone which scared me. The last time I looked no normal human could "lay" feathers during the night. Sure I shied a lot of hair but feathers where a whole other story.
Thats when there was a knock on the door.
"Hey Candy, you up?" Vash's voice beconed behind the wooden frame. Sighing I stood up fully from the wall I was leaning on and went and opened the door putting a smile on for the man I loved.
"Yeah I'm up," I said looking at him. I felt my heart flutter seeing him standing there worried about me.
"I...well..I was wondering if we could just go out to eat this morning. I already told Meryl and she said it was ok. Her and Matt where getting together early." He said. I felt my worries about the feathers float away as I thought about it. Vash had asked me to go eat out with him by ourselves.
...Like a date...
"Sure." I said. "Just let me get on a sweater or something." He nodded as I walked over and dug through the giant backpack and found a sweater. On the back was little wings embroidered there. Smiling I slipped on over my head. I guess that today would be like every other day that we ate together by ourselves during the weeks we had been together. There was no difference in today I tried to convince myself though I enjoyed all the other times we had ate together this was just one of those times. Walking downstairs I slipped on my shoes at the door and waved goodbye to Meryl who just giggled silently and turned toward the kicthen. Looking back I saw Vash standing there waiting for me as I finished placing my last shoe on. "Ready?" A nod came from him as we headed out the door. Walking down the street I continued to smile to myself walking next to the blonde. If only he knew of the feelings I had for him.
"Meryl told me of a place that was nice and quiet we could eat at," He said holding a paper up to his face. I noticed that Vash looked really nervous all of a suddenly.
"What's going on?" I asked touching his arm. "Why are you so nervous?"
"Me...nervous?" He stated then letting a laugh go which really puzzled me. "I'm fine really." I didn't believe it. Was he planning on something? Was he going to put his pancakes in my face like that one day.
"Seriously?" I asked trying to figure out why hew as so nervous all off a suddenly.
"Yes...gah is this some sorta confessional or something?!" Vash said throwing his hands up in the air. I giggled lightly as I stood there entering the cafe. A woman came and sat us in a booth in the back. Looking around I smiled then turning my gaze back to the outlaw in front of me. He still looked quit nervous but he wasn't going to explain why so I just decided to let it go and enjoy myself. Ordering french toast I drank the orange juice that they served me. Vash had ordered a glass of milk.
"I can't believe Meryl is getting married still," I said. "..It's kind of funny because the way the series left off it looked like you and her where going to hook up.."
"Meryl and I?!" Vash said almost dropping the milk from his hands. "...What do you mean?!"
"I mean that the second to the last episode of what I saw Meryl muttered something about not being able to tell you something...maybe the implied effect wasn't what she ment..." I sighed looking down at my glass of orange juice.
"Short girl...likeing me?" Vash said. "Wow...I never saw that coming."
"Hehe I liked the idea. I wished they would have shown you two hooking up, I'm just a sucker for sappiness," I giggled. "I'm a hopeless romantic at heart." The waitress had come with our orders in that small frame of time of talking. Vash had ordered a stack of pancakes which made me cringe. I hated pancakes.
"I've never been good with woman." Vash said with a half chuckle behind it.
"I noticed," I said. "Remember me, the girl who knows a lot about you. Hey I might even know more then you do about yourself." I sliced the toast on my plate and smired it in the syrup.
"...And you've never really been afraid of who I was, or what I was?" He asked getting serious all of a sudden. We really hadn't talked about this for the two weeks we had been hanging around each other.
"No...not really..." I replied looking up seeing his aqua green eyes gazing at me really intensly. My eyes reverted back down to the toast on my plate as I tried to hide a blush. "...You can't help whom your born as and the life that God places before you. What you can change is the reactions you place upon certain things which will enevitably mold and shape who you are." I looked up giving him a smile. "Though I've been through a lot in my short life span I think of myself as a human you I guess though I've only picked up a gun once and that was just aiming."
"How so?" He asked shoving a whole pancake in his mouth. I eyed him then sighed.
"I don't know really..Its just that I see that side of you that worries and hurts and I know that side well. I also see the goofy fun loving guy that I talk to most of the time and I also see me as that but I know that a lot of the time thats just a front of the real pain inside." I said twirling my fork on the plate. "Kind of like you I never had a childhood. I went from a little kid to a mother in ten years."
"..A mother...you had a kid.." Vash said.
"...No if it where only that simple." I responded. "I long for the years when I didn't think anything was wrong and my family was perfect but when I was about 10 or 11 I had to babysit. I ended up babysitting a lot over the next 6 years. My mother drank a lot back on Earth and my father was with her. One day my mother just left us. For me it was the beginning of when I wouldn't have to worry so much about watching them...then again my father had his own faults. Night upon night for the next four years my father would yell at me, calling me a worthless child who could do nothing right. Though I know he doesn't mean it like my mom didn't mean leaving me alone to watch my sister and brothers it still hurts."
"I see," He said.
"Yeah, though I might not have a twin sister or brother who wants to destroy humanity I have a mother and father who destroyed my dreams." Looking down I sighed. This was the first time I had truly told someone about it. Sure my friends knew but they didn't know how bad it was. "My mother once wrote me telling me about how i was my littlest brothers mother.." Tears began to welt up as I suddenly began to feel myself homesick. What was he thinking right now about me being gone? Bitting my lip I moved my hand up and wiped a tear from my eye. "..I..I do worry about him. I guess I do consider myself his mother...dad tends to go off in la la land and my mother disappears from our lives months at a time so he needs the most stablility he can get. ...How is everyone reacting...to this..My little brother...he's probaby freaking out..." How could I have been so selfish?! A pair of bluesh green eyes makes me forget of everything over the past two weeks?! I felt a hand upon my right arm that I was holding over my face as I cried. Looking through the holes between my fingers I gazed at his face as he held a simpithetic look upon it.
"It's ok Candy, just calm down. I'm sure what ever happened that day will reverse itself eventully and you can go home," He said quietly. I had stopped crying. It wasn't the fact that I was finished or I had gotten over the feelings that had risen up. It was the fact that has Vash had said that last statement I could swear I herd hurt traced in those words that I stopped crying. Blinking I gazed at the outlaw trying to figure out what he had exactly said to me without saying it.
No. There was nothing in his words besides that. Maybe he was a little worried about my flipping out just now but that was it. Turning my head I gazed out the window. No matter how much I pined and hoped and dreamed of that magical confession about an undieing love it would never happen between us. Vash, whom is friendly and kind, would never see me in that kind of light. I was just a friend to him. A friend who knew everything, but a friend nontheless.
"Hey...how about I take you out to buy something nice for the dinner party after?" Vash spoke up as I turned my head back. "That should make you feel a little better."
"..Ok...I guess.." I muttered wiping the last of the tears from my eyes. "I am really sorry about ruining this breakfast with my silly crying."
"It's ok. I know it must be hard for you as well." Vash said standing up.
"One would think after a few weeks here I would stop all this..." I muttered. All Vash did was give me a smile as he lent his hand and pulled me to my feet. There always seemed to be this tention around us. Why though? I pressed my lips together slightly as I watched him head over to the counter and pay for our breakfast. Looking down I used the napkin dispenser to wip and clean off my face. Vash didn't need a crybaby around him anymore. With Knives about he needed someone strong and supportive about all of this. I needed to be that someone though it all. Walking over I placed a smile upon my face and looked up in his eyes.
"So shall we head to rehersal?" He asked. Nodding I walked over to the door and opened it for Vash. Both of us walked out as I looked ahead. So today was the rehersal for the wedding in two days. A wedding where I would be wearing a really awesome dress and walking down an isle with a man I loved even though I'm not the one who's getting married. I could pretend though. My imagination has never failed me though I've gotten a little over board. Walking down the street we met up with Meryl and Milly who where in front of a church.
"This is where we'll be having our wedding," Meryl said looking up and smiling. Looking up myself I was in awe at the ser beauty that the church front I quickly rushed up the steps and opened the doors to see the giant interior that was the church.
"..This...this is beautiful.." I muttered as Meryl came beside me and nodded.
"Yeah, my parents insisted on me getting married here." Meryl sighed looking inside and leaning up against a wall. "What about you?"
"What do you mean?" I asked turning around to see her. Meryl smiled and walked up to me.
"About a wedding for you, I'm sure one of the plans of your future is to get married, am I not correct?" A blush came to my face as I stood there speechless.
"...W...Well yeah...I have always dreamed of being married one day and having kids," I said looking down.
you imagine yourself as the Mrs. Needle Head?" Meryl said looking out of the doors. I turned my head and saw Vash being attacked by the local kids again and smiled giggling. "I mean its obvious that you like him... The way I see you look at him when he's not looking your direction, I must say its quite strong."
"...Ye..Yeah...I know..." I said looking down again a faint blush still upon my cheeks as I moved a stain of my hair behind my ears. "..And it would make me the happiest woman to spend my life with Vash, if thats the answer your looking for." Looking up I saw Meryl smiling back at me and placed a hand on my shoulder.
"And I think you would be perfect for the blonde baka," She smiled turnign her head to see Milly trying to help Vash out of the dog pile that had happened on top of him. A smile came across my face, a bigger one then I held as I watched the scene.
"Where is the bathroom here?" I asked. Meryl laughed.
"Down the hall there.." She pointed. Nodding I waved at them walking the rest of the way in and turned toward the hallway Meryl had pointed toward me and walked in quietly thinking about everything. I hadn't lied about what I told to Meryl of course. Seeing the sign for the bathroom I smiled and walked inside happily. In a few days I would be walking down the isle, not wedding like mind you, with the man of my dreams. I could pretend though, yes my imagination had always been a good and bad thing. Good as I could imagin story lines that nobody could possibly think of in their right mind, bad in the sense it can get carried away with me. Walking into the bathroom stall I went to the bathroom like I had been meaning to and walked in front of the mirror smiling happily about everything. The negitive thoughts of the breakfast where long gone and now I was really happy. I could just imagin myself walking down the isle in a white dress with Vash waiting for me with the biggest grin upon his face in the world. Bigger then even when he had 100 donuts to eat. Giggling I began to wash my hands and turned around.
"Hello again.." A dark and cold voice said as I reconized it instantly. Turning my head I noticed Knives standing there in a corner I hadn't noticed him before in. I knew that Knives and Vash, if they wanted to, could possibly make themselves invisable to people around them...like legato did in that one chapter of the manga. I could feel the ache in my back as I stood there looking at the blonde haired man that held the face of the man I loved.
"What do you want?" I said noticing his right shoulder was bandaged up from the other day when I shot him. "I see your still alive."
"I could say the same to you..." Knives laughed leaning up from the wall but not moving either direction; toward me or away.
"Seriously, what do you want? Are going to try and kill me now? You know your brothers probaby in the church now. If I yelled he would hear me..." I threatened hoping what I said was true.
"..No I've come to warn you...stay away from my brother or else I'll kill you too..." Knive's voice said cold and daring. Frowning I glared at him.
"What? Having simplathy on me now are we? But I'm just a human...a spider to you." I hissed wanting to gather the courage to indeed yell for Vash. That's when Knives took a step toward me. Backing up my back bumped into the wall lightly sending pain through my back and making me wince as I sorta fell forward a bit.
"See...I would never give simpathy toward a human.." Knives laughed reaching out and pulling my chin up word to look into his ice cold eyes. "But see..your not human are you?"
"What the hell are you talking about?" I said between my teeth as I glared up at him trying to regain my balance from bumping my wound.
"The light...the bullet...hitting me..It's obvious to me what my brother doesn't see. Your not normal..which makes you not human..and if thats so I don't have a problem with you though there will be payback for shooting me after this is all over..." I blinked trying to get what he was exactly saying. I was human, there was no other way or thing I could be. I was born to human parents, lived with my human family so I had to be human...
Though there was the light...and how I got here exactly was a freak plushie.
"..And the feathers.." He laughed breaking in starting to make me freak out. That was the last straw. I yelled the one thing that came to mind..
"HENTAI!" I screamed making Knives stumble back from me, a look of shock and confusion washed over his face as the door beside me burst open a few minutes later seeing a few nuns and Meryl and Milly standing there. Of course I between that time Knives had run out, probaby making it so again nobody saw him as he ran though I'm sure Vash could feel him. Meryl turned and looked down at me as I was kneeling in the corner shaking a bit looking up at them.
"Are you alright?" Meryl asked bending down and helping me up to my feet.
"..Yeah..." I said. "There was some guy in here...that's why I yelled..." I sighed as they led me away from the bathroom slowly as Vash, Wolfwood, and Matt came rushing up in front of us as they where taking me to the main room.
"Is she ok?" Vash said looking about the nuns and his two friends.
"I just hit my stitches..thats all.." I laughed nervously. "The guy ran when I shouted." But that wasn't what I was thinking about at this moment. What if Knives said was true..what if somehow I was indeed not a human. That ment I had lived some sorta lie through out my 20 years. They led me to a bench and had me sit down and watch the rest of the practice, having Vash go down the isle for the both of us and having him stand to show me where I would be standing during the wedding. I nodded watching as Meryl told me things about it. Because I couldn't practice today they decided if my back was up to it that they would bring me down tomorrow just so I could go through it all.
Soon it had gotten dark and I think everyone else was getting hungrey. Standing up slowly once Meryl had said they where done for the day I began to walk out of the pue that I was in.
"Well what should we do about supper?" Meryl said looking at the group of them. "It's been a long day, I don't think that anyone wants to cook."
"I feel so bad not being able to walk through the wedding.." I said.
"Hey we don't want you anymore hurt then you are now.." Milly said. "Mr. Vash probaby would kill us if we forced you to walking the wedding.."
"Hey I would not!" Vash said beside me almost yelling. Chuckling lightly I felt a shock of pain as I stopped smiling trying to make it so nobody would worry about me. "It would have been less walking I would have had to do today." Turning I stuck out my tongue at him.
"How about we go out to celebrate.." Wolfwood grinned holding Milly close. "A celebration of Love."
"You mean you just want to go and get drunk Mr. Priest.." Meryl said slyly eyeing him as he laughed.
"Got me." He laughed holding Milly closer. I just chuckled again then turning my eyes toward Meryl who was laughing as well as Matt stood by him. It was the oddest feeling really. Here the whole insurence team was standing by off. Then there was Vash behind me..standing by me like Wolfwood and Matt where with Milly and Meryl but without the arm around the waist or shoulders. It was like broken up into pairs already. Part of me couldn't help but want to giggle and fall back into his chest a bit. To be like the other two couples next to me.
"Well I wouldn't mind.." Vash said behind me. "It's been a while since I got drunk anyway.."
I laughed.
"Well thats cuz I won't let you drink around me.." I chuckled turning slighlty and forgetting about the pain in my back and poking him.
"O come on!" Vash said glaring at me. "Let me have a little fun."
"You shouldn't drink! You throw up when you do!" I shouted.
"I'm a grown man I can drink when I want to!" Vash said poking me in the side as well. I poked him back.
"Well you don't act your age, now do you?" I responded continuing to poke him. Vash then answered my pokes with pokes of his own to my side which ended up being a poking fight.
"AHEM!" A voice said as I blinked and stopped seeing Wolfwood standing in the doorway of the church and everyone else was not around, I assumed that they had gone out before the priest and where waiting or something. Then I realized the nuns of the church where giggling as I quickly moved away from Vash blushing a bit.
"Sorry.." I said to the nuns.
"Well then are you coming or not?" Vash's voice said behind me as I turned and saw him heading toward the door.
"..I don't know.." I said thinking about it. "Back on Earth I couldn't drink, there was a legal age and all...well I didn't really want to drink..I mean if I wanted to get drunk I could with my family and all..." It was more rambling then anything.
"A woman your age here on Gunsmoke can drink.." Vash said reaching over and grabbing my wrist. An instant blush came to my cheeks as I looked at the back of his head as he pulled me to the door.
"..Ok.." I said nervously.
"Besides I'm sure they'll serve something you'll like to drink or eat..Milly usally gets a banana sundae of some sort when we go to a bar like this." Vash said turning his head and smiling lightly at me. Gah..my heart was going so fast and hard that I could swear he could hear it with his super sensitive ears...He continued to hold onto my wrist as he led me toward the bar Wolfwood was waving from.
"You don't have to lead me like a child.." I said yanking my wrist from his grasp outside the door. "I know your a 130 and such and probaby to you I'm just a child but don't treat me like one.." I rubbed my wrist lightly and walked in past him. Walking over I sat beside Milly who had already had a banana sundae in front of her. I smiled lightly at them as I herd a chair pull up beside me and Vash most likely sit down.
"So you big baby what will you be having?" He said. Frowning I turned glaring at him who was just laughing at the expression probaby on my face.
"I should beat you!" I hissed turning and looking at the two couples who where just laughing, Milly with a spoon in her mouth, Wolfwood with a bottle in his hand, Meryl with some sorta drink she was sipping away, and Matt with a bottle as well.
"Come on you two.." Meryl laughed beside me. "Order something so we can all celebrate."
"I'll have a bottle of Whiskey.." Vash annonced beside me as I blinked sighing and looked up at the waitress who was taking our two orders.
"A Straberry Wine Cooler..." I said lightly. It was the only acholoic drink I was going to try since I never drank really. The waitress left our table as I looked over at Milly and Meryl. "I'm really happy for you two even though I might act childish or whatever." Smiling the watriess had already come over and handed us what we had ordered. Taking the straw she set beside my drink I put it in the glass and hesitently took a sip from it. I couldn't taste the acohol in it and smiled. Raising the glass I smiled. "To a happy future for the four of you!" Vash raised his bottle which he had already opened it and nodded.
"Yeah!" Meryl and Milly thanked us and we continued the night like that.
Though since I don't drink much a few of the wine coolers I was plastered...I can remember that much about the evening. I remember throwing up on the floor later and parts of the kareoke contest they decided to hold but the rest was really fuzzy.