Disclaimer: I do not own Batman, Robin or the Joker. DC does

Bruce Wayne Checks In – Chapter Two

Robin had just thrown himself out of the tenth floor window of the hotel. He reached to his belt took out his grappling iron and threw it around a passing flagpole. He braced his arms against the shock and glided to a halt about thirty foot from the ground. Something went whistling past his head and smashed into the pavement below. He looked up, his eyes widening in fear. The Joker's men were leaning out the window he had thrown himself out of and were shooting at him. He couldn't afford to hang around. He leapt off the rope and grabbed the nearest window ledge. He clambered onto the windowsill and tried the window. Locked. He was three floors up. Did they expect Spiderman to break in? He got out a small device from his belt and levered the window open. There was a cracking sound as the window frame gave up the unequal struggle and Robin eased into the empty hotel room.

Bruce Wayne activated his two-way radio. He lowered his voice two octaves and spoke to Alfred.

"I need my suit, bring it with the car to the back of Gotham Plaza."

"Sir, I've never driven your car before…"

"I need it there in twenty and wear the suit, if Batman doesn't turn up the Joker will blow up the hotel."

"But sir, is there no-one else who could…!"

"Nightwing and Azrael are out of town. Do it," hissed Bruce. "Signing off." He changed the frequency.

"R, this is B, confirm your position."

"Third floor, room 303. Confirm your position."

"Ground floor, freezer. The temperature is dropping and there is a hostage here who will not survive the next ten minutes."

"Stay cool, I'll be with you soon. Signing off."

Bruce Wayne looked about him. It had diamond plate and heavy-duty reinforced floor. It also had a heavy-duty reinforced door. A company called Bash Refrigeration had made it. He looked down at the hostage. The cold was getting to her, her lips had turned blue and she was making involuntary twitches as her nervous system shut down. Bruce Wayne was making his breathing very shallow and controlling his heart rate. He could keep going for hours, assuming the temperature didn't lower by much more. He knew he could not kick the door down. He needed a battering ram. He looked at the slabs of meat hanging from the ceiling and wondered whether they would give up before the door? Only one way to find out.

Alfred was angry and nervous. How could Master Bruce put him in such a position? He tried to put the bat suit on, but seeing how it was tailor made for someone taller and more muscular than him it sagged over the shoulders. This was stupid. He would carry the uniform and just wear the cape and cowl. Even that was surprisingly heavy; it was reinforced with Teflon and Kevlar, which made it resistant to extremes of heat and impacts. It just wasn't particularly comfortable. He looked at his watch. Fifteen minutes to get to the hotel! He clambered into the Batmobile's seat, tried to close the door, realised the cape was stuck in it. He put the cape in the car and closed the door. He had never driven this car before. He looked at the controls. Nothing was labelled. He tried a red button and the engine roared into life. He reached his foot down to the clutch. He was too short! The seat was welded to the frame, he couldn't move it. He threw open the door and got out. Tins! He could tie tins to his feet. He ran up the steps of the bat cave and stopped wheezing half way up. How did Master Bruce manage to run in this get up, let alone fight? He ran to the kitchen and quickly tied two tins to his feet and then realised he couldn't walk on them. He took them off his shoes, ran down stairs and got jerked back when his cloak was caught in the clock door. He opened the door, released the cloak and ran down stairs again. Twelve minutes left! He put the tins on his feet, got in the car and roared off out the cave…
The Joker was annoyed. This was usual for him and he liked to ride his anger to more violent acts. He was in the basement-helping search for more hostages. They had gathered about a hundred staff and hostages, all except that Robin!

"Where are the hostages, Tavi?"

"Most of them are still in the dining room," said Tavi, he got a cigarette from behind his ear and was about to light it, when the Joker snatched it from his hand.

"Can't you read?" said the Joker, pointing to a sign. "No smoking! Do you want to lower the tone of this four star hotel?"

"Sorry boss," said Tavi. "Oh yeah the boys ain't happy with putting Wayne and that Roville broad in the freezer. That's two mill you've put on ice."

"Idiot! Poltroon!" said the Joker. "I couldn't give two hoots for the money, I want Batman. He can never resist a woman in trouble. Making an example of Wayne will keep the other hostages quiet as well! Are our boys watching the exits?"

"Yeah boss. The police are outside but they ain't looking keen to come in. The boys perforated the last guy to try that. I've given the police our demands. Last I saw they were trying to wake up various bankers to get the money in time. They have called Bats, but the boys ain't seen him either. We've still got half a dozen guys on the roof waiting in case he turns up. I've got a team searching the rooms for that Robin kid as well. We've checked the hostages and staff against the register. We've got 'em all," he licked his lips nervously. The police were still finding bits of the last person to criticise the Joker. "We've got thirty lads to pay off when this job is done Joker. You promised them $1 mill each on completion, if you ice Wayne and Roville we won't get that."

The Joker grinned at Tavi. "Worry not Tavster old chap. If I don't see the Batman in," he pulled out a large fob watch from his waistcoat pocket, "in ten minutes, there will be no hostages, no hotel, no lads and no problems!"

Robin put his ear to the door. He couldn't hear anyone outside. He opened the door and ran down the corridor. He needed to get to the basement quickly. He opened the door to the stair well; he could hear the voices of the Jokers gang. He had no choice. He pressed the elevator button. The voices were getting closer. He jabbed the button again. Come on! Come on! He didn't doubt he could beat whoever came up the stairs, but he didn't want to attract attention to himself. Bing! The doors opened. One of the Jokers men inside the lift had just enough time to gape at Robin before he was knocked out. Robin jumped in. Pressed the button for the basement. Realised the door couldn't close because of the Jokers henchman in the way and pushed him out into the corridor and just dove in before the doors closed.
"Let's see how my friend Brucey is doing, shall we?" said the Joker mincing over to the freezer door. The door was shaking rhythmically as Bruce Wayne was battering it with various parts of frozen livestock.

"He sounds like he is having more fun than he should? You say the Roville babe is with him? Bruce you devil! Time to cool your heels!" He stood in front of the keypad next to the door and balanced some half moon glasses on the end of his long white nose. "Let's see how low we can get the temperature! " He pressed a button and the temperature shown on a red digital readout dropped down from minus ten to minus sixty. The Joker looked at the sign above the readout. "Oooh! It's a blast freezer! I don't know what that means, but it sounds so much fun!" The battering sound in the freezer slowly died down.

Alfred was weaving the Batmobile all over the road. He was a competent driver, even a good driver, but the Batmobile required the skills of a premier league-racing driver just to keep it going straight. Where was the hotel! The car had a built in GPS navigation unit.

"Gotham Plaza, please car?"

A screen next to the steering wheel flickered to life and showed a map of Gotham city with a red dot showing the car and a green dot showing the hotel. The windscreen showed a big green arrow showing the way forward.

With his nose practically touching the steering wheel he nervously touched the accelerator. With a roar the car leapt forward. He needed to turn right! Where were the indicators? He tried a button on the steering wheel, which sent batarangs flying out the side of the car. Behind him was the sound of breaking glass.

"Sorry!" he shouted.

He heard the whoops of joy of a local lowlife as he saw the shop windows disintegrate in front of him. He pressed the button again and a batarang knocked him out.

"Sorry about that!" he shouted back to the comatose lowlife. He looked at his watch. Six minutes left! This was a ridiculous idea. How he could he possibly pretend to be Batman! He was too short! He was too thin! He had a moustache! He had tins tied to his feet for God's sake!

The Joker, Tavi and four of his men walked up to the lift door.

Tavi put his mobile phone down. "Robin has knocked out another of our lads on the third floor. The boys are carrying out a room by room search but he seems to have given them the slip again."

"If you want something done properly, do it yourself," said the Joker. The lift door pinged open and Robin came flying out. With two swift strokes he knocked out two henchmen. He threw himself to the floor, to avoid a wildly swung baseball bat, span around on one arm, his feet taking out the feet of two more thugs and then sprawled to the ground as the Joker punched him with a knuckle-duster. Robin slumped to the floor and then was thrown against the wall as the Joker kicked him in the stomach. His Kevlar top shielded him from most of the blow but he banged his head against the wall and he slumped against the wall.

"You know I'm sure he would love to meet the ice cream of Gotham's elite. Tavster, you take his legs."

Tavi and the Joker carried Robin down the corridor towards the freezer. The Joker dropped Robin to the floor and opened the freezer door. There were various bits and pieces of frozen cow carcass next to the door where Bruce had been trying to break down the door. Bruce Wayne and Elaine Roville were hunched together in the corner. A layer of frost covered both of them. Bruce had never been colder. Even his years of training could not stop this degree of cold. He saw the Joker and adrenaline filled his veins, he got to his feet to charge him but the Joker threw Robin at him and he fell to the ground under Robin. Bruce Wayne tried to get up again but the cold sapped his strength and he fell to the floor again. His hands flickered and then he hunched up again, as if trying to conserve warmth.

"Good to see you are still up Brucey!" grinned the Joker. "You look lonely? Run out of things to say to the Roville babe?" He pulled Robin to his feet and pushed him to the back of the freezer. "Robin! This is Bruce Wayne a multi-millionaire and man about town. Brucey this is Robin a boy with a bird fixation and a terrible taste in Red tops. I'm sure you will get on fine with Brucey, Robin, but you might find him a bit of a cold fish!"

He slammed the door shut on the freezer. "I do hope they get on! They've got so much in common, like freezing to death together!" He got out his pocket watch. "Ooh! If Batty boy doesn't turn up in two minutes, we blow up the hotel!"