Beyond Reasoning
Chapter 17
Tomorrow

At first it had been more of a lie then anything. About me being sick and all. It was just the way Vash had been looking at me moments before while he had my hand clasped and laying on his backside shook me up inside. I couldn't explain it really. The shock was really to much for me, even if it was just a simple statement like that. He probably didn't even realize what he had done. But I did. It had been a lie at first like I had said..but now I really was not feeling all that well. My back was itching...and I'm guessing that the heat of day was really taking a toll on me. The past few weeks since I had been swept off to Gunsmoke here the days hadn't been to hot, nothing I couldn't handle but today was just unbarable. And the way Meryl and Milly spoke this was a normal thing here on Gunsmoke. So I found myself lying in bed on my stomach, since my back itched/hurt to much to lay on it at this point. If I tried to lay on it I felt that I would somehow scratch it open.
"..Stupid heat...stupid Vash.." I muttered looking up at the backboard in front of me. Sighing I just was a little worn out about everything and I still had to tell Vash who exactly I called a hentai in the bathroom yesterday. Why couldn't my life be simple? Thinking about Vash got me to thinking about why he was in my room this morning. "..hentai.." I muttered rubbing the side of my head. I couldn't recall anything about last night. After that I vowed never to drink again. I knew I didn't snore..and if I did it wasn't that loud. I mean my sister at home and my mother both snore loudly along with my littlest brother. Compared to them I'm as quiet as silence. So my real problem was was trying to find out why exactly Vash was in my room without him thinking I didn't believe him because even though it was highly unlikely it could be possible that I did indeed snore. I didn't want to hurt his feelings if he was right. Rolling over I glanced at my bed sheets and notice another three feathers laying there as I sighed and stood up. Reaching up I pick up the one feather and gaze at it trying to figure out what exactly what was going on with me. The words Knives had said during the confertation in the bathroom still echoed through my head...
"...The light...the bullet...hitting me..It's obvious to me what my brother doesn't see. Your not normal..which makes you not human..and if thats so I don't have a problem with you though there will be payback for shooting me after this is all over..." He had said.
Shaking my head to try and get that thought out of my mind I sighed and looked at the feather. What the heck did all of these mean? Why did I have the ablility to "lay" feathers when ever I laid down. Of course a few feathers had been found when I hadn't been laying down by Vash who had asked me about them. Of course he had found the first few feathers without me even realizing I had some sorta problem. I was going to have to tell him about what Knives had said..but fear arose in me. What if telling him about what Knives had said made him turned off of me. I mean I wanted to confess my undieing love for the blonde shortly and hopefully soon but if that makes him think of me differently then I could be rejected...something which I didn't want to feel again. Shivering I rubbed my hands up and down my arms trying to ward off the feeling I got thinking about his green eyes glaring at me with some sorta hatrid and disgust it made me want to vomit. Turning I headed back to the window and opened it up releasing the three feathers out into the wind like all the other white feathers I had found. Hanging my head I gaze up and see the fifth moon in the horizion I blinked feeling tears rush forth once again. Reaching up I brushed them aside. Tomorrow was Meryl and Milly's wedding. I had to be ready for the day. What if Knives attacked then? Meryl and Milly both deserved a beautiful wedding with the men they loved. I wasn't going to let anybody ruin that. It would be the same for any friend's weddings I was invited to/in. Looking out I saw the fifth moon, the one that Vash had aimed and hit on that fateful day when he met his brother. The moon shown with a red tint which I found sorta funny. The power to shape or destroy the world was given to such a gentle beautiful man. Though I'm sure Vash had a different feeling that he got from the moon.
Turning around I looked toward my bag, the contents scattered everywhere on the floor..everything besides the silver dress I had bought that day, which was tucked neatly at the bottom of the bag in a small bag itself to protect it from wear and tear that could happen being on the bottom of the bag. One of these days I was going to wear that thing..though there hadn't been a reason yet to. I couldn't just be walking around in such a beautiful dress. It might make people around me think I'm crazy. Giggling lightly the worries from before seemed to float away as I thought about how the first time wearing that dress might be like with Vash...hopefully. I mean I could be swept away to Earth at any time and I was lucky enough to be here this long with the man that I had a hudge crush on. I figured I was in love with him and when I did confess...if I ever got the nerve and courage to, I would tell him I loved him. I figured that though I considered this a crush, since my definition of a crush is on a person whom doesn't know that isn't trying to pursue a relationship with me like that, it was more like love.
Yeah, I loved the outlaw. I loved him beyond what I could comperhend. He probably didn't even realize or even think that my feelings could extend that far. My eden would be with him and all my family and friends happily living with lots of trees and lakes.
Smiling I looked up at the frame of the door remembering about the night before. When I had gotten up on stage to sing kareoke that turned out to be more like a live singer then anything. Chuckling I thought about the one song. I knew the song well because back on Earth I owned the cd that the track was based off of. It was a beautiful song and I was almost jumping out of my skin when the couple had requested it. I sang it and I sang it well thinking of Vash the entire time I belted out the words. I even locked eyes with him during the song, at the important bridge trying to pour all my feelings and heart out to him subcouncesly. Of course he didn't seem to even notice, which I don't mind I guess. It was just a song.
"Hey Candy, are you feeling any better?!" A voice called out from the bottom of the stairs. It was Meryl's. "You've still got to go through the mock wedding for yourself before tomorrow unless you don't think you'll be well by then..."
"No..I seem to be fine now.." I shouted back. Turning my head I saw a sweater there and quickly grabbed it slipping it over my head and walked down the stairs slowly pulling my hair out of the sweater and saw the outlaw of my many thoughts standing there beside Meryl and Milly.
"You do look better!" Milly churped happily then looking at her friend. "Well we should get going again to check on the cake and everything before the bakery closes."
"So then who's going to be taking me.." I muttered blinking at the two girls. Milly now had this hudge grin upon her face as she looked at Meryl.
"Well Vash will be since he knows the directions anyway," Meryl said with a slight smile upon her features too. My brow went up in a puzzled expression as I stood at the base of the stairs now trying to figure out why exactly they where smiling. "Well look at the time, Milly's right we should be getting a move on!" Turning she grabbed her cape and Milly followed behind her as I looked up to great Vash's face whom was smiling.
"Shall we go then?" He asked opening the door.
"Yeah." I said walking out and waiting on the steps for Vash, looking up at the clear sky, seeing the stars twinking there lightly. They still where very unfamiliar to me. I grew up with the stars and the way they sat in the sky back on Earth so this look was something so different. Also...I could see my breath. Giggling I blew out some of the air from my mouth and watched it go up disappearing quickly. Because the planet was pretty much full desert it ment that unless the sky was overcast at night the heat from the day would wear off quit quickly and it would become as cold as a early spring night easily where I was from which was Minnesota. Vash came out beside me finally.
"Well then." He said walking down the stairs to Meryl's door with me. "Tomorrow is the big day."
"..I know.." I laughed a bit looking down at the ground. "It's just strange really. I could swear in the anime that you and Meryl where going to hook up in the end."
"You've got to bring up that anime thing..." He chuckle. "I know you know a lot about me...more then anyone on this planet could..probably more so then even Knives yet I still don't know much about you besides food and color."
"What else is there to know?" I laughed looking up at his face as we walked side by side down the streets which where lit up with small lights. It gave the feeling of an old england feel.
"Birthday, when's your birthday?" He asked.
"Well I was born October 8th," I said. "And you where born July 21."
"Geez..." He said with a nervous laugh. "Did you like have no life back on Earth or something.." A faint blush came to my cheeks as my eyes went down cast.
"..er..something like that.." I said quietly. "Well what else do you want to know since you seem to want to write a book."
"What did you like to do back on Earth?"
"..Well my hobbies really where writing and drawing. I also liked to take my dog and play fetch. He is a beautiful dog."
"Favorite sweets?" He then asked.
"..Um..well I guess anything chocolate.." I laughed. "And you like donuts."
"So if I buy chocolate donuts then we'll be set!" He grinned. Nodding I laughed more.
"Favorite flower?" He then asked catching me sorta off guard. Nobody had really ever asked me what my favorite flower was. I had never gotten flowers from anybody in my life. Actully what I considered my first flowers where given to me by the pastor at my grandmothers funeral.
"Well..." I said thinking. "..I've never really thought about that. I mean I never got flowers from anybody. I mean I loved roses like the next girl but I know their not my favorite...but I don't know if I have a real favorite. I guess my favorite flower will be determind by the first flowers I'm given..." I laughed nervously then looking down. It was true though. Looking up I noticed the church was in site as we walked Vash leading the way.
"I would think guys back on Earth would be lining up to talk to you..." Vash said beside you which made me blush even more as I looked down.
"..No.." I said lightly. "That' really isn't the case. Though Rem spoke of Earth as being a wonderful place the way the humans have progressed since I left left things to be desired. It was a self destructive cycle really."
"Really? How so?" He asked obviously he was intriqued.
"Well I guess I'm sorta old fashioned really...back on Earth kids where being born without marrage and such. I couldn't date anybody really there without risking some sorta part of me that I didn't want to..." I said lightly. "And they would grow frustrated with me and leave or I would leave them. The men that I held an interest in couldn't really get past the image he had of me being more like a sister or best friend, the ones I knew wouldn't try anything and believed what I believed." I rambled on as we went up the steps. "...If you could understand at all what I'm getting at."
"..I think so.." He said as he reached out opening the door and letting me inside. "Well any guy who would give up on you or was like that didn't deserve to date you anyway.." A blush once again came upon my face as I looked down at the floor trying to hide it. If he only knew the truth.
"Thanks.." I muttered.
"Well here we are. I guess we should get started so we can get back to sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a long day." Nodding I walked over to where I saw them starting yesterday. Vash smiled and walked beside me holding an elbow out. Placing my hand in I held his arm softly. "Now how Meryl wants us to walk is to step pause step pause step pause together." Nodding I looked down at my feet as we started down the isle practicing everything that Meryl had instructed him the night before. Of course there was a lot of stepping on feet and laughing as Vash and I tried are darnest to be perfect about how we walked down the isle and where we stood.
"Did Wolfwood or Brad give you the rings yet?" I asked blinking. "Because I haven't herd from Meryl or Milly about the rings."
"I'm sure they'll tell us in the morning before it all." Vash laughed. Nodding I smiled looking up at the grand church swinging my arms about and twirling lightly.
"I hope one day I'm married in a church like this..."I said stopping and looking back at Vash who's eyes where on me. "Though I want lots of trees around it."
"Well trees are in short supply here on Gunsmoke.." He laughed.
"Fine you can dress as one and run around the church giving the illusion of trees..." I laughed walking over and poking him in the side.
"Why me..." He winned.
"Because your just to tall!" I said throwing my hands up walking away toward the big doors in the front of the church.
"Nah your just short." He added behind me.
"Hey I'll have you know that back on Earth I'm over average highth Beanstalk..." I stated.
"Well I'd hate to see average then.." He laughed. Turning over I stuck out my tongue blowing a rasberry in his direction as I continued out of the church. I couldn't help but laugh a bit about our mock argument as I stepped outside the large doors my mind filling now with thoughts about Knives.
"What about Knives?" I then stated changing the mood between us drasticly. "I mean I don't think he's going to leave this wedding alone..." I herd a sigh beside me as Vash walked next to me.
"..Yeah..I've been thinking about that too. I really don't know what to do.."
"..What if he comes to hurt you or even worse.."I muttered looking up at him. "..The man from yesterday Vash was Knives.."
"Knives? He was in the woman's bath..." He muttered trailing off as he looked at me. "..Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"..Well I didn't want to worry Meryl and Milly needlessly. They've already got enough stress as it is. I mean he wasn't trying to kill me or anything then so I figured the information could wait till I could get alone with you." I looked down and away from myself trying to gather the courage up to tell him about what exactly Knives had said when he was with me yesterday. I was sure Vash was going to ask why he was there...and of course I was right.
"So what did he say?" Vash asked.
"..Well..." I said touching my lips lightly still trying to gather the courage to tell him. "He warned me...he warned me to stay away from you or else I'll be killed as well.."
"And you don't think that wasn't important enough to say then?!" He said angerly. I turned my head and looked up at his face.
"It was about me! He didn't say nothing about Meryl or Milly! This was nothing to worry them about." I said.
"You should have still told me right away.." Vash said dryly beside me. "Did he say anything else?" Turning my head I took a breath and a long sigh then looking up at his face trying to gather courage by looking into his green eyes.
"..He..he said that I wasn't normal..that I wasn't human somehow..I still don't understand it.." I said turning my head and looking up at the stars. "That he wasn't going to kill me for that reason but I would be punished for doing the the things I did to him." There was a long pause from Vash beside me as I stood there trying to not cry or burst into tears from this silence.
"..My brother needs some serious help.." Vash finally said breaking the silence as I turned and looked into his eyes once again. "Well for one hopefully he decides to stay away from the wedding tomorrow, and when I do confront him finally I'll ask him about it." Nodding I felt a little better. The situation wasn't how I invisioned it but things really wern't. I have an over active imagination so it could go off to places you wouldn't believe.
"I just hope you can ask him.." I laughed trying to make everything seem lighter about it and push my worries aside. Right now, though somehow years from where I was back on Earth and probably light years from where the dead planet now floated I had to look up on everything. I had a once and a life time chance to be with the one man that was whom I had dreamed of even before I had been introduced to the series back on Earth. Glancing over I saw his gloved prostetic hand swinging there beside me as I blushed a little wishing I had the courage to just reach over and grab it but the courage was lost to me since I had told him about what Knives had said.
"Hey don't worry about it!" Vash said beside me turning his head as I looked up from his hand. "I'll be here to protect you..I'm your body guard right?" Nodding I giggled a bit.
"Yeah...two weeks and I haven't been killed yet, that must be some sorta record for you." I said laughing and poking him in the side once again.
"Hey there have been plenty of times I have acted as a body guard for WAY longer and the person in question survived." He laughed. "Just that nothing happened so I'm sure you probably never got to see such things."
"No..I didn't get to see it." I said. "I saw the episodes where you asked this one girl at the edge of the city you where attacked at the first time..." Rubbing my head. "And then the plant girl after the Nebraska family. Though she got to call you Spot..." Grinning I looked up at him, my eyes dancing as I tried to contain my laughter. "Hey! Why don't I get to call you Spot or anything like that?"
"...Well.." Vash said beside me taking a step back from me. "..she was a babe...and well your not.." He said calmly which made me laugh a bit.
"Yeah you just wanted to get some...that's all you giant hentai..." I laughed.
"That...that is not true!" Vash said an obvious blush upon his cheeks making his ears even turn red.
"Yeah it is..I've watched that episode at least five times...so stop lieing," I laughed reaching up and poking him in the middle of the forehead.
"Geez woman, do you have no life back on Earth!" He exclaimed rubbing his forehead glaring at me like I had just revealed some big secret.
"I can't help it if Anime and Manga is a hobby of mine! Trigun itself is also one of my favorite series. So I would watch it plenty of times.." Sighing I rubbed the back of my neck.
"..Really..you liked the series that was about me...?" He asked his voice really calm and non joking for what we where just talking about. Confused a little I looked up at his face to see a small smile upon his face.
"..Well yeah.." I said forcing a blush down as I stood there with my arm still on the back of my neck. "I mean I..I sorta admired you in your quest to save your brother and everyone you came up against in the battles I saw. I mean it wasn't far off of what I believe so of course I would admire you. There on the screen or in my lap when it comes to my manga you sat talking about things I believed since I was so little you could step on me and not even realize you where...I mean one would think that I could ramble off things and facts about you without the bat of an eye that I liked the series.."
"..Or your obsessive.." Vash added earning a punch in the shoulder from me.
"Either way your still a hentai minded old man.." I laughed walking ahead of him looking about realizing that I didn't reconize the street we where on. Blinking I turned back trying to figure out where I was. A few days in December one would think I would have most of the streets around Meryl's and Milly's house and the church sorta memorized. I always prided myself with my good memory.
"I might be old and hentai minded but I believe age is what you think yourself as.." He stated then stopping beside me. "What's going on?"
"I'm lost.." I stated touching my face frustratedly. "You where leading the way back, right?"
"Ummm.."
"Don't tell me..." I said a vein popping up on the top of my head as my eye began to twitch. "..Some body guard you are!" Throwing my hands up I walk to the nearest saloon leaving Vash there.
Of course a woman walking in a saloon by herself at this time of night got some glances from the patrons of the bar whom where either laying flat on their face on the tables or having a ball over in the one group in the corner. The place did look familiar. That's when the doors swong open behind me making me realize that Vash had come in behind me. The glances from some of the men dropped from me. Frowning I crossed my arms over my chest and looked over at the man who was behind the bar. Walking over I sat on the stool trying to take in the bar realizing that this was indeed the bar that I had been in almost twenty-four hours ago.
"..Well hello again!" The old man said behind the bar noticing me and Vash whom had followed me like a puppy dog and was sitting beside me. "I figured you and the man here wouldn't be wanting another drink in a while.." The old man chuckled. "So what can I do for you?"
"Well see wer..." I was about to speak when puppy boy beside me bursted in.
"A beer!" He said happily earning a glare from me this time.
"..Vasssshh.." I hissed tapping my hand on the bar rythmicly. "I REALLY don't want to be in a bar again.."
"I know where we are now.." Vash said happily as he was handed a beer.
"Then where are we?!" I said slapping my hands down on the bar getting angrely at the outlaw.
"Three blocks south of Meryl's house..probably passed it without even realizing it while we talked back there.." He laughed taking a sip of the beer.
"Well fine.." I said standing up leaning on the bar a bit. "I'm going to head back then. Like you said before, we've got a long day tomorrow with the wedding and all.."
"AHHH well!" The old man said obviously ease dropping in on us. "I knew there was something between you two." He grinned. Blushing I was taken back by what he had said.
"Excuse me?" I said wondering what the heck he was getting at.
"Well to me it looked like some triple group date, everyone kind of hanging off each other by the end of the night...that is after you really couldn't sing any more miss.."
I was stund to silence at what the bar tender had just told me. Of course when I woke up the morning before I couldn't remember past the kareoke, I figured I had gotten a little to drunk like my father was well known for doing. "Now I know why..well congradulations you two!"
"..Wait a minute.." I muttered feeling more confused then I had ever been in my life.
"What do you mean by hanging off each other?" Vash stepped in. Turning my head I looked at the blonde noticing a sorta confused look upon his features as well which told me he couldn't remember either. Sighing I felt a little better about this. If I had lost control or something, at least he couldn't remember anything that I had done/tried to do.
"Do you not remember?" I shook my head then glancing over at Vash who had done the same. A grin came upon the old man's lips as he laughed setting something he had been cleaning behind the bar then popping up like a jack in the box. "Well you two where quite a site from what I could see...you miss where sitting upon his lap, like the other two woman at the table with the other two men and where playing with his hair. You sir didn't seem to mind quite a bit about the extra attention you where receiveing from the miss here. Actully you had the biggest grin upon a face that I had ever seen and your arm was draped around her waist. That's what I could see and what I mean by hanging off each other. It was really quite adorable. That's why I figured there was something going on between you two...if I was mistaken I am truely sorry." The bartenders words, one by one made my face drain of all it's color until I just stood there blinking and hearing what he had said. Finally I found my tongue again and shook lightly my head glaring at Vash.
"Now see! This is why we shouldn't be drinking!" Reaching over I grabbed his hand and quickly began to pull him away from the bar and soon the saloon. Glaring ahead I was more mad at myself for loosing control like my father..though this time it didn't end up with the emotional pain as my fathers most of the time did when he was that plastered.
"..Hey Candy! Stop dragging me!" Vash shouted behind me as I apruptly stopped. The pain of what I had gone through the many of times still clear on my mind.
"..Sorry.." I said quietly. "..It's just..my father has that problem when he gets drunk.."
"What do you mean?" He asked quietly behind me.
"..Well..forgetting that is..." I said quietly. "That's why you haven't really drank around me since we started traveling together...I hate alcohol and what it does. Yesterday I caved in and look where it got me..embarrassed beyond belief and scolding myself for being like my father."
"..Your not the only one embarrassed.." Vash said as I turned my head and looked up at him who was still standing behind me.
"I figured you hentai where happy about how far you got with me with me sitting in your lap and all.." I muttered coldly then my eyes softened as I looked up at the moon which was high in the night sky now.
"..Hey.." I hered him say but quiet down.
"Though he never hit me..there where still worse things one could do...and then he'd forget about them like it was nothing...I knew it wasn't his fault..it was the alcohol...but.." I muttered as image after image of a picture of my drunk father flashed through my mind. "..I..I still have a hard time with it.." I finally got out pushing the emotions that where welting up inside me down. "If all the pain he caused me where to scar visiably I guess I'd be covered like you." Turning I forced a smile. Opening my eyes from the forced smile the look upon Vash's face made me drop my facad instintly.
There where tears trailing down his face.
I was at a loss for words once again. I knew that Vash was a really sensitive man, more sensitive then even my father though at times he wasn't. I felt a squeeze to my hand as I looked down and saw that I was still holding his hand from when I drug him out of the Saloon. A slight blush came upon my cheeks then as my eyes trailed up to his face once again still in disbelief that he could possibly be crying over what I had just told him.
"..Th..That's so sad!" He exclaimed making me fall over. Looking up from the sand I grumbled. Slowly I stood up, being wary of my back and brushing myself off.
"Well anyway if you excuse me.." I said turning toward the direction of Meryl's house.
"..I'm sorry.." He said behind me. Taking a deep breath I turned slightly to look at him in the corner of my eye. He still had that dead serious look on his face though the tears where gone.
"There is nothing you should be saying sorry for." I said shrugging. "You had no clue. Let's just get heading back. I am tired." A nod came from him as we walked back quietly together. My mind though a little shaken up from what had happened back there was slowly moving toward the newly aquired knowledge that I had been sitting on Vash's lap playing with his hair. Then there was almost dizzing knowlage that he was enjoying the attention. My heart wanted to leap to the conclusion that it was a sign that Vash indeed could harbor feelings like mine but..the realization or a better word for the situation is my rememberence that Vash would take any attention from any woman. It wouldn't have mattered if it was a hooker or myself, he still would have had that smile upon his face. Walking toward the door Vash unlocked it with the key Meryl had given him as we slowly walked up the stairs toward are rooms. Saying goodnight to the outlaw that passed me in the hall toward his room I walked in my room. Turning I sighed. Maybe I could tell Vash tomorrow if Knives didn't attack the wedding. Slipping off the sweater I grabbed my pajamas and headed out to the bathroom deciding to take a shower now instead of the morning since Vash probably was going to. Slipping off the rest of my clothes when the door shut I quickly showered and was back in my room in no time. Throwing my clothes in the pile I feel back on the bed trying to figure everything out but sleep wasn't going to give up without a fight. Yawning I turned and closed my eyes letting sleep overtake me.