Book Thirteen: Conflicting Emotions

(Chapter One: Goodbye Rin?)

Hatsuharu packed up another box for his mother in the kitchen. They were giving away some of their older appliances to make room for some new ones. As he was working the phone rang and his mother Mariko went to answer it. A couple minutes later she came back into the kitchen with a sad look on her face.

"Hatsuharu dear" she replied.

"Mhm" he nodded.

"That was Rin on the phone. She wants to see you. At Kagura's house."

"Really" he said excitedly, "Well I'll hurry right over there" he rushed to the door, "I'll finish this when I get back" he ran to the front door.

"All right dear" she nodded solemnly and then sighed.

(Next Scene)

He ran to Kagura's house as fast as he could, his heart light as air. It had been a long time since Rin had wanted to talk to him, and he was too excited for words. He knocked on the door enthusiastically and to his surprise it was Kagura who answered the door.

"Hatsuharu" she replied equally surprised.

"Kagura. Is Rin home? She called me over?"

"Yes" Kagura nodded slowly, "She's in her room."

"Thanks" he smiled; "I'll just go right in" he walked into the door and straight to Rin's room.

"Okay" Kagura said sadly as she saw him take off.

Hatsuharu knocked on the door and when Rin told him to come in he entered. The first thing he noticed was the mess of clothes around the room. All on the bed and the floor.

"Hey Rin" he replied as he closed the door behind him.

"Haru. I'm glad that you could come" she said, "I wish there was a place for you to sit."

"That's okay" he grinned, "I don't mind standing. So what's up? You wanted to see me?"

"Yes" she replied slowly, "I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Uh" he said with a bit of a frown as he finally noticed the suitcases around her, "What's with all the suitcases? You taking a trip or something?"

"Sort of" she answered her dark hair falling into her eyes.

"What do you mean sort of?"

"Haru" she said slowly, "I have to go away for awhile."

"Away? Where?" he replied with a raise of his eyebrows.

"My parents are placing me in an institution for awhile because I'm not getting any better. This place can help me with me stomach problems and other things. They told me about it just yesterday."

Haru's shoulders lowered as she continued.

"It's a really nice place and it's only for women. And best of all there's someone in the family who works there who's familiar with the Zodiac curse so I'll be in good hands."

"I see" he replied slowly, "When are you coming back?"

"I don't know if I am coming back."

"What?"

"I need help. And I need it badly."

"Hey I'm all for that. I am. But I can at least come and visit you can't I? I can drive now you know?"

"No" she shook her head, "I would rather you not. I really would prefer it if you stay away."

"But Rin. You said that you love me. I mean we love each other. This just can't be it."

"Then how come it is?"

Rin paused and closed her eyes while he stood there too stunned to say anything more.

"I care for you Haru I really do. But you and I we are just not meant to be."

"That's not true" he shook his head, "I don't believe that. I meant what I said you know. I will wait."

"I don't want you to waste your life on someone like me," she said with tears forming in her eyes.

"Waste my life?"

"I'm a hopeless case Haru. I'm never gonna get better enough to be good enough for you."

"You already are. Don't you see? I like you the way you are."

"Haru this is not easy for me. But I am going."

"Are your parents making you do this?" he replied a bit angry now.

"No" she shook her head again, "There's a lot of reasons why I am doing this."

"Then give me one good reason why I can't be with you? You haven't given me a good reason for that."

"I don't want to be with you Haru that's why. That should be good enough. Now you need to leave. I have to pack. I leave this weekend."

Haru nodded angrily his fist clenched. He turned to walk away and yanked the door open so hard that he tore it off it's hinges. He ran down the hall and flung open the front door, then dashed out towards his own home. Kagura watched this display and then sadly closed the door behind her. In her room Rin sat on her bed and tried to stop the tears from falling.

"I didn't want to say that Haru" she thought, "But I had to. Now you can go on with your life without me and be happy. No longer will you be sad or hurt anymore because of me. You'll forget me. But I will never forget you."

(Next Scene)

When Hatsuharu arrived home his mother heard him come through the front door. She sat down at the kitchen table as he slammed his own bedroom door shut. She sipped her tea quietly as he slammed and tore everything apart in his room. She could hear the crashing and the banging. She could hear the glass being broken from his window as he threw a book at it. She merely sighed and decided that later she would go into his room to comfort him anyway that she could. If that was at all possible to begin with.

(Next Scene)

The next week of school arrived. It was still a whole week till Rin would be departing Sohma house. In the student council office that afternoon Yuki was working hard with Machi and Kakeru on putting together a budget for the next class that would be taking over. The elections for the new Student Council President was also taking place soon as well so they were preparing for that. Amidst what they were doing a persistent knock sounded on the door and Kakeru went to answer it. Standing outside was a frantic Momiji.

"Can I help you?" Kakeru asked interested.

"I'm looking for Yuki Sohma" Momiji said out of breath, "Is he here?"

"Uh yep. Yuki someone to see you."

Yuki came over and opened the door even wider.

"Momiji what are you doing here?" he asked.

"I've been looking everywhere for you Yuki" Momiji replied, "We got a problem. A big problem."

"What kind of big problem?" Yuki said a little worried.

"A big Black problem" Momiji raised his eyebrows and Yuki nodded understanding completely.

"Kakeru" he called into the classroom, "Machi. Would you excuse me for a few moments? I'll be right back" he closed the door behind him and rushed down the hall after Momiji.

"What do you think that was all about?" Kakeru said curiously to his sister.

"I don't know" she shook her head, "But what ever it is, it's family related. That was Yuki's cousin."

(Next Scene)

Momiji led Yuki to the other side of the building to a classroom where paper was flying out the door. He nodded to Yuki and Yuki nodded back as he entered in. Out in the hall a crowd of students had gathered including some of the third years, like Tohru and her friends. Kyo and his friends arrived shortly after.

"Hey what's going on?" Kyo asked Momiji.

"Oh I'll give you one guess" Momiji replied as Tohru looked on worried.

"Oh no" Kyo shook his head.

Yuki gazed around the room and saw the overturned desks, the broken windows, the torn up paper, and the beaten up walls.

"Well" Yuki said slowly as he approached Hatsuharu who was sitting on a desk quite out of breath, "I will say this much Haru. You certainly don't ever underdo it do you?"

"Go away Yuki" Haru replied roughly, "I am not in the mood to chit chat."

"I realize that. But somebody has to bring you back to White Haru before the teachers show up. And unfortunately that job falls on me because I am Student Council President. So you want to tell me what's wrong?"

"I told you" Haru repeated, "I'm not in the mood to talk."

"If you won't talk to me," Yuki sighed, "Will you talk to someone else?"

"No" Haru answered quickly but then thought, "Who did you have in mind?"

"Someone you won't get so easily angered at. Wait here. Oh and when she comes in please behave yourself" he shut the door behind him.

Haru scoffed and then grabbed a piece of paper from the floor and then began to shred it into little pieces. As he was doing that someone else entered the room. She walked over quietly and looked at him with such kindness.

"Hatsuharu" she said slowly.

Haru looked up and saw Tohru looking down at him with a bit of concern on her face.

"Tohru?" he replied softly.

"Hatsuharu are you okay?"

"Damn Yuki" he spat, "I didn't know he was going to send you in here. He knows I can't get angry when you're around."

"Well if you want to get angry, I'll understand."

"No" he shook his head standing up, "I think I got angry enough today. I made a mess" he looked around him.

"Yes you did" she nodded, "I don't want to be nosy, but could you tell me if there's any way I can help."

"You're sweet" he slightly smiled, "But I don't think so. I think I've calmed down enough."

"What happened? Maybe it will help to talk about it?"

"Maybe" he nodded" he turned his back and began fingering the tore up wall, "She's going away."

"What?"

"Rin. Rin's leaving."

"Where's she going?"

"An institution. She's going to get help or so she says. Her parents are sending her there" he sighed, "And she doesn't know if she is coming back."

"Well I'm sure she'll come back Hatsuharu. She cares about you and everything."

"Does she? I'm not so sure anymore. I mean all I wanted was what we had. Is that too much to ask? Is it? All I wanted was the opportunity that everyone else gets. I tell ya. I make a great matchmaker but as for making a match for myself I'm just no good at it."

"Hatsuharu."

"I don't understand. I just don't get it. Why doesn't she want to be with me anymore? What did I do wrong? I mean what did I do so damn wrong that she cuts herself off from me? Even if she does love me. She told me that you know. After the party. She actually admitted that she loved me. And now everything is just so messed up. I'm messed up. I don't know what I am going to do. I sure am not taking this very well though."

"Yea" Tohru nodded looking around the room.

"I mean. I don't know. I've done everything I can think of. What else can I do? I know it's important that she goes but the selfish part of me wants her to stay. Because who knows what could happen in a year or two, or however long she's gone."

"I know it will be difficult" Tohru said slowly, "I keep wondering myself how is it going to be when I have to leave all of you in a month."

Haru turned around and looked at her surprised.

"How it's going to feel when I won't see you guys anymore. And how it will feel when I can no longer be with Kyo either."

"Oh Tohru" Haru shook his head, "I'm sorry. I wasn't even thinking. How insensitive of me to think. I mean to ask for your help when you're going through the same thing. It's just" he turned back around and allowed the tears to sting his eyes, "I'm gonna miss her so damn much."

Tohru walked over and wrapped her arms around Haru to comfort him.

"I know. I understand."

Hatsuharu smiled and cried as she embraced him from behind, feeling a little bit better and confident in how he felt. A few moments later he exited the room with Tohru and Yuki dispersed the students who had been watching.

"Haru are you all right?" he asked.

"Yea. I think I'm just gonna go to the bathroom and wash up" he nodded.

"And meanwhile we're gonna go clean up the mess you made" Momiji replied.

"Thanks" Haru nodded again, "I'll be back to help."

"That's not necessary Haru. We'll take care of it" Yuki said.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely" Yuki nodded.

"Okay. Thanks Tohru" Haru grinned at her as he departed.

"Don't mention it" she smiled back as the four of them entered the room together, Hana and Uo had gone back with the others.

"Well" Kyo sighed, "Looks like we got a job ahead of us."

"Yes" Tohru agreed, "But if we work together it will all go much faster."

"That's right Miss Honda" Yuki smiled, "And thank you again for whatever you said to Haru."

"Uh huh" she nodded.

"Incidentally what did you say?" Kyo asked.

"Yea Tohru" Momiji added, "What was that all about anyway?"

"Oh I'm sure that Hatsuharu would prefer to tell you himself."

"Okay" Kyo nodded and the four of them straightened up the room as best as they could, all except for theshattered windows, which Yuki was certain Sohma house, would once again take care of.

(Till Next Time)

Authors Note: Hey everybody! Just one more and then that's it for this week!

Next Chapter: Yuki's Decision

To work out his anger Kyo invites Haru to the dojo for the afternoon. Haru suggests to Kyo that there might be another way for him to get out of Akito's deal and Yuki makes a decision on his own. What is will that decision be? Find out next time!!