Chapter 5: A Glimpse Inside Logan's Head and Past

The night had wound down as Raleigh and Amy finished their ice cream and they headed back to the apartment. Rory had insisted that she go over the basics (emergency numbers, pick up from school, where everything was located, etc.) at least three times before Logan left, and he was now just making his way home. He had to admit, tonight had been a bit of unexpected fun. He smiled, thinking about the girls, but his meditations were short lived. His phone rang, bringing him back to reality.

Logan fished it out of his pocket and looked at the display. Colin. Shit. They were supposed to have a late dinner and drinks tonight and it had completely slipped his mind. He flipped open the phone as he heaved a sigh.

"Huntzburger."

"I know. I've only tried calling seven times. Where are you? You were supposed to be here an hour ago."

"I got sidetracked."

"Well, at least you could have called. Check your voice mail. Where were you, Timbuktu?"

"I met a friend at the market and we had dinner. I forgot, okay?"

"Fine. So, who was this friend you ditched me for? Me, one of your best friends since we were toddlers, me, who is married to your rabid cousin."

"Colin (a) it's none of your business who I had dinner with, and (b) Steph is not rabid and she is my second cousin. I think I'm going to have to tell her what you just said."

"Okay, I'll back off about your dinner date if you won't tell Steph what I said."

"If you must know, I had dinner with Rory."

"Rory, Rory? As in previously married to Steph's stupid half-brother, Rory? As in ran off to Europe and left you, that Rory?"

"One in the same."

"Man, do you know what you are getting yourself into?"

"Relax, it was just dinner."

"And…? I know you, there has to be more to this story."

"And I may be babysitting her daughters tomorrow, but that is it."

"You, babysitting. Huh. Whatever. Okay, forget dinner since you've already eaten."

"No, I'll be there in a bit."

"I said forget it. Besides, Steph just called not to long ago and was wondering if I could come home early, something about wanting to talk about Eli at school today."

"I'll call you tomorrow and we can meet next week sometime."

"Sounds like a plan. Babysitting. Really."

"Get off it already."

"I just hope you know what you are getting yourself into."

"Bye, Colin." Logan snapped his phone shut and thought about what his friend had just said.

What was he getting himself into? Nothing, really. He was just helping out an old friend he had run into, right? At this point, that was all she could be, an old friend. He'd messed up too badly in the past for anything else.

It was his first year of post-grad studies at Yale, and he had finally got his friends off his back about Rory. They had been dating a few months, not that it hadn't taken more than enough time to get to that point. For two and a half years, they had danced around each other, never quite getting close enough to be considered anything more than friends, but everybody knew that there was an attraction there. He was just different around her. Finally, it had happened, and the world rejoiced. Their friends, tired of the act Rory and Logan were putting on, decided that it was time for them to get together and tricked the two into a date. From there, things had progressed quickly, until he thought he was in over his head. Logan had never had a relationship this serious, or this long for that matter, and something told him that she was the undoing of him, that she was his life. Rory too, felt that this was it, that Logan was it. It scared both of them. Rory broke up with him, but it seemed to be in name only. They just needed space to sort things out. It looked like they were on the road to reconciliation just weeks later, much to the happiness of both's families. It was then that he had messed up.

It was a going away party for Finn who was leaving to carry on the family legacy at Oxford. In true Finn fashion, there had been alcohol, lots of alcohol, and women. Finn hadn't changed much. The guys all got wasted and lost their better judgment. Colin and Logan were both caught with other women. Steph yelled and screamed, refused to speak to Colin civilly for a month and was mad at Colin for over a year.

If Rory had done the same as Steph, Logan could have handled it, but instead, she said nothing. He tried to talk to her, but she didn't want to hear anything from him. Then she left. She just got on a plane and went to Europe. He wanted to follow her, but everybody told him to give her time and she would come around. They were wrong. Two months later she came back and moved to Boston. She was married and pregnant. She had moved on.

Logan had moped, but didn't tell anybody about Rory getting married. It was his burden to bear. He had caused her to run, and he had lost her.

Now it appeared that Rory had forgiven him, or at least decided to let the past stay in the past, but was that what he really wanted? Did he want to be just friends with Rory, because it seemed they couldn't possibly be anything more? Logan just didn't know. Was he just setting himself up for disappointment and pain again? He really didn't know. All he knew for sure was that if it came down to it, he wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.

And if he did decide to have a relationship of any kind, be it as friends or otherwise, there were the girls to deal with. That was something new for him; he'd never dealt with children in the past, really. The only kids he dealt with were his nieces and Colin and Steph's son, but he wasn't around his nieces much, and even then they were on their best behavior and closely watched by a nanny, and Eli, even though he was the same age as the girls, wasn't like them at all - he was a quiet and reserved like his father. Then again, nobody could ever be like those girls except their mother. They were of the same unique breed as Rory and her mother. Maybe that was what immediately made him want to look out for them. They were angels, no doubt about that. He doubted they could ever do anything wrong, but they did have their mother's spirit, so the random occurrence of bad behavior wasn't out of the question. Babysitting them was going to be and adventure, sure enough.

He wasn't sure what he was thinking when he made Rory the offer to watch the girls, but he had offered, that much he was certain of. Again, his thoughts mirrored Colin's words. Babysitting. Really. What was he thinking? Logan had never babysat in his entire life. Sure, he had watched his sister on occasion when something came up and the nanny wasn't around, but she was only three years younger than himself, and there had been servants around to help if need be. Now it was just going to be him and the girls.