26 – That Was Then
Ben finished stoking the fire in the bedroom wood stove. Felicity watched as he cupped his hands to his mouth and puffed into them. Apparently, she wasn't the only one who was cold. Her own shivers had nothing to do with the temperature in the room, but she didn't tell him that.
He turned toward the bed. Felicity moved over to make room, and he hurried under the covers with a grin. "Better now?"
Felicity wiggled her toes under the down comforter. "Much better."
Ben slipped his arms around her and tugged her toward him. Felicity settled into the hollow of his arm and rested her head on his chest. She sighed wistfully. "After this, the rest of our vacation is going to pale in comparison."
"Yeah. How do you top Yellowstone?" Ben agreed. "Taking this trip with you has been really cool."
"I wish we didn't have to go home."
"Me, too." He tugged her closer for a kiss. "But we're not home, yet, so let's not worry about it."
"Right," she grinned, inching upward and folding her arms on his chest. "I think tomorrow we should go hiking around up by the hot springs and take a lunch. What do you think?"
"Sure."
They talked for the rest of the night about what they'd seen on their trip so far and what their favorite places had been…not including their current stop, which both agreed couldn't be improved upon. Ben held out for the Basketball Hall of Fame, while Felicity decided that Washington was her next pick for the best place.
"Washington? We were barely talking in Washington. What was so great about it?" chuckled Ben.
Felicity blushed and looked away, shrugging. "That was… You know. That was where we had our…second kiss." She looked back up at him through her lashes.
He burst into a smile. "You know what? You're right. Washington was pretty good after all." He laughed and gave her a peck on the lips. "So this makes kiss number…?"
"I don't know," she giggled. "I lost count."
"Me, too. Let's lose count some more," he grinned, pulling her closer and kissing her thoroughly.
Felicity ceased to think of anything but his warmth and the crackling of the fire in the tiny wood stove for the next several minutes.
When he drew back and smiled at her, she beamed from ear to ear and lay back on his chest. Between kissing Ben and talking about anything that came to mind with him, she decided that the night was the most perfect one she'd ever had. So far, the road trip had been everything she'd ever dreamed about and more.
So much so, that she dreaded the end of it, which would mean a harsh return to reality. Other things, other people would pull them away from each other. What's he going to think of me when he sees what I'm really like? My friends, my whole life at home? He was so popular, so good at everything. I was just this…freak.
She thought about the time she'd almost—almost—worked up the courage to ask him to a school dance. She'd been sitting in the school cafeteria with Shelly Feldmeier and a few other girls when Ben and his friends walked in and headed toward the lunch line.
Ben had a book bag slung carelessly over one shoulder and a basketball tucked under the other arm. He looked incredible in his green hooded sweatshirt. She loved that shirt on him. It set off the sandy blond of his hair and his amazing green eyes. She loved the way he walked, that air of loosely-reined power in his movements. The way he laughed sounded so good, she couldn't help but smile whenever she heard it. And speaking of smiles! He lit up the room. He was the most—
"Felicity, if you stare any harder, you're going to knock him over," Shelly giggled.
Felicity blushed and lowered her gaze to her lunch tray. A half-eaten bowl of soup, an untouched apple, and a carton of chocolate milk sat before her. She glanced up at the clock and realized with a start that lunch was nearly over. I bet he spent most of his lunch playing basketball with his friends. She looked around the table and saw the other girls grinning at her. A couple of them stifled giggles of their own. Except for Laura, she noticed, seeing the always-well-dressed, curly-not-frizzy brunette chuckle openly. Laura never bothered to hide it when she was laughing at Felicity's slip-ups.
Instead of glaring at Laura like she should have, Felicity blushed further. Every one of them knew she was in love with Ben Covington, and that he'd hardly ever said a word to her. Laura picked on her about it, which was humiliating. She glanced toward the lunch line again. Ben had trailed behind his friends, looking over the dessert bar. She mustered up her bravery in the face of her embarrassment. "I'm going to ask him to the dance."
The girls oohed and lapsed into stares of awed silence, even Laura, which Felicity found oddly satisfying. She only had a moment to bask in their collective surprise before the reality of what she'd just proposed settled in. Oh, no.
Shelly grabbed her arm. "Really? You should! Do it, go ask him!" She shoved at Felicity, urging her out of her seat.
Now that she'd actually said it, she had to do it. She'd never hear the end of it otherwise. She glanced at Laura. The brunette gave her a haughty look as if she were certain Felicity didn't have that kind of nerve. I do, too, and I'll prove it. Giving Laura the glare after all, Felicity stood up with her tray, feeling rather proud of herself. She turned and headed quickly across the cafeteria toward Ben, on the pretense of bringing her tray to the disposal area.
What happened next was something out of the worst high school nightmare imaginable. Ben started away from the dessert bar, and Felicity walked faster to catch up with him. She glanced over her shoulder just for a second, to make sure snotty Laura Christie was watching, and it happened.
She tripped over someone's duffel bag lying on the floor. The tray went hurtling into the air. Soup and chocolate milk flew everywhere. Some of it splattered against a nearby sophomore boy, who shouted an angry, "Hey! Watch where you're going, will you?! God, you freak!"
The apple sailed into the air in a perfect arc and landed in a trash can beside the dessert bar. Felicity landed painfully on her hands and knees, and the tray, bowl, and milk carton clattered to the floor. The entire crowd in the cafeteria cheered and clapped.
"Hey, Porter! Nice shot! Maybe you should try out for the basketball team!"
Mortified in the extreme, Felicity dared to look up. Across the cafeteria, Ben's friend Kurt Angiolillo laughed and wolf-whistled in her direction, giving her the thumbs-up. The other two boys were grinning at her. I will not look at Ben. I won't. I refuse.
"Are you okay?"
The soft sound of Ben's voice brought a flush to her cheeks that outstripped the embarrassment of her accident. Her ears burned, and she was glad for once for the frizzy mane that covered them. What-do-I-say, What-do-I-say, What-do-I-say? Oh, my God. She looked up. Ben stood not more than four feet away at the end of the dessert bar, staring down at her. She almost forgot to breathe. "Uh… I…" Her face burned. Oh, God, he can see me blushing. I'm such an idiot. How did I think he'd want to go to a stupid dance with me? She snapped her mouth shut, scraping up the tray and its contents. "Sorry." Scrambling to her feet, she dumped the whole thing in the trash can, never mind the fact that the tray and utensils weren't disposable, and hurried back to her seat. She snatched up her books and purse, and flew out of the cafeteria with the sound of laughter chasing her.
"Felicity, wait!" Shelly called. Felicity heard the pounding of feet echoing down the hall as her friend chased after her. Shelly caught up with her just as she passed the cafeteria's opposite doorway. Shelly grabbed her arm, stopping her. "Are you okay?"
Her words echoed the ones Ben had said moments before. Felicity felt the sting of tears in her eyes. He was so nice to me. He asked if I was okay. He even looked like he was going to help me up, while everyone else just sat there and laughed. His friends laughed. "I'm such an idiot!" she burst out, letting loose the tears. She wiped her eyes with the back of one hand. "I don't know what made me think I could go talk to him. He'd never go with me, anyway. Laura's right. He's good-looking and popular, and I'm just a total train wreck."
"Laura's just jealous. I saw Ben look at you that time in Math class," Shelly vowed, taking a couple of her books.
"That's because I dropped my calculator."
"He was looking still when everyone else looked away," insisted Shelly. She slid an arm around Felicity's shoulders. "Come on. Let's go to the girls' lavatory until next class."
The girls walked away down the hall together just as the bell rang.
Felicity came back to the present with a start. She shook her head in self-contempt, not realizing she did so.
"What's the matter?"
Ben's voice brought her fully back to her current surroundings. Still feeling the remembered embarrassment of her colossal fall and its mocking ovation, Felicity rolled away and sat up against the pillows. "Nothing. I was just remembering something stupid."
Ben sat up, too, smiling. "Well, now you've got me curious. What?"
Reddening with humiliation even now, Felicity hunched into her pillows. "This one time in high school, I actually worked up the nerve to talk to you and totally made a fool of myself in front of the whole school. I dropped my lunch tray—"
"I remember that. You didn't answer me when I asked if you got hurt."
Felicity couldn't look at him. Kurt's laughter echoed in her ears. "Yeah."
"Did you?"
"Did I what?" she murmured, still distracted by Kurt's ridicule that day.
"Did you get hurt when you fell?"
Felicity drew her knees up and hugged them, staring at the pattern of her pajamas. "I scraped up my hands a little," she admitted. "It wasn't… It wasn't the fall that hurt."
Ben was silent for a moment, then she felt the mattress shift as he moved closer. She looked up in puzzlement when he reached for her arms, pulling them away from her knees. Surprised, she let him.
Ben turned her hands palm-upward in his own. He kissed one palm. "One for this hand." He kissed the other. "One for this one." He leaned forward and kissed her softly on the mouth. "And one for everything else."
His words arrowed straight down into her soul past every hurt, every disappointment, every defense she'd ever put up. Tears sprang to her eyes. She didn't even try to stop them as they trickled down her cheeks. She felt herself take that moment, the look in his eyes—a look just for her—and lock it away inside herself like a treasure. She sniffled loudly and threw her arms around his neck. "You have no idea how wonderful you are, do you?"
He laughed and hugged her. "I'm glad you think so."
"I know it," she declared, kissing his cheek.