Part 6: Fire in the Hole
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After that day by the pool Buffy and Spike avoided each other like the plague. He held the opinion that she was a stuck-up, judgmental snob and she thought that he was a drug addled loser freak. Life was good.
Good for everyone except for those who had to work with them on-set. It had been three weeks since that fateful day, and luckily the majority of scenes that were being shot were with the minor characters and some of the scenes where Buffy and Spike's characters hated each other. The premise of the movie was that Buffy's character Laney had to rob a bank in order to get her inheritance which was cheated out of her by her father's associate and former lover, played by Angel. Spike's character Jake was attempting to steal Buffy's car as she robbed the bank and got caught as her hostage. He decided to blackmail her with turning her in to get some of her money, and she threatened to kill him, so they are each being held by the other. They set out to avoid the authorities and track down her co-conspirator, played by Cordelia, who split from Buffy/Laney in order to take the money to a safe place.
Shooting was all well and good while Laney and Jake were supposed to be hating each other and taking each other hostage, but soon that would change, because along the way they would start caring for each other and that would involve kissing and love-making and touching in places that Buffy and Spike didn't even want to think about. They knew this day was coming, they just didn't know it would be so soon. They somehow got lucky with the shooting schedule being arranged with the hating scenes planned first. Today they were shooting in a motel room, filming one of their bargaining scenes where Jake counters her hostage taking with blackmail. An argument was, of course, to occur.
"Are you sure it isn't too late to make Laney some kind of leper or something?" Buffy asked Wesley hopefully. She knew that she could gripe to him and not have to worry about him getting mad, but the executive producer of the movie was a scary little man named Snyder who didn't really like Buffy, or anyone for that matter.
The tension on set between the two blondes had been growing since the movie began shooting, but today it had almost come to a head. The rest of the cast and crew were waiting for shit to hit the fan for about a week now, and knew that today it would likely happen.
"Buffy." Wesley started. Buffy waved her hands in the air.
"I know, I know. Act professional and all that." She said as she walked away, the man looking after her.
"That isn't what I was going to say." He sighed.
* * * * *
"Alright people, places. Lets try and get this done!" Snyder barked. Buffy sighed and took her place next to the bed, where Spike was slumped, waiting for the scene to start. She had a fake gun in her hand and was dressed in black from head to toe, having robbed the bank a couple yet to be shot scenes earlier.
"Let's get this over with." He muttered, standing up as Snyder took his place by the monitor.
"Don't screw up then." Buffy retorted, more under her breath than anything, partly because she wasn't sure if he was talking to her and partly because she really didn't want to start something with him. Too late, though.
"What's that now?" He asked her, angrily.
"Nothing, nothing. Just get over it. Lets get this over with, right?" She spat back.
"Crazy bint." He muttered. They both had murderous expressions on their faces as Snyder yelled action, which actually fit perfectly with the scene.
"Look, I don't like this anymore than you do. But you're a hostage, you're not supposed to like it." Buffy/Laney crossed her arms and stared down at Spike/Jake.
"Well the way I look at it, I've go you by the shorthairs." He smirked at her, in character.
"And how do you see that, bleached wonder?"
"Sure, you have me as your little hostage, for right now. But if I'm going to be in your custody for the next little while, I think I deserve some monetary reimbursement. For lost wages and all that."
"Lost wages? You steal cars for a living you prick. And how do you think *I* will be paying *you*?"
"Well," Spike/Jake started, standing up. Buffy/Laney pointed the gun at him, but he kept coming at her till the gun was against his chest. "You have a hefty sum of money coming to you, don't you? Sure, you have to cut your partner in, but it's not like you won't still have enough to do an *Indecent Proposa*l roll in the millions left over." He dropped his voice seductively. "And that is something that I wouldn't mind seeing, actually."
Buffy knew it was her line, but having him so close to her, feeling his breath on her, picturing the things he was saying caused her to fumble her lines.
"I- I hardly- er- don't think.." She trailed off as Snyder yelled cut.
"Bloody hell, Summers. Can't you get anything right? Want to get this done soon, eh?" Spike moved away from her. Buffy cursed herself.
"*SO* sorry King Spike. Didn't mean to keep you from your precious rock-star commitments or whatever the hell you have to do. Or who you have to do."
"Get off your high horse Summers. You're just jealous that I actually have something exciting to do with my life off this set. I know it must be a spine-tingling adventure sitting in your hotel room, looking over your damn script all the time, not that it did any good for you."
"Oh, fuck off Spike!" Buffy exploded; tired of this cycle of hate and rage they kept going through. She didn't even pay attention to the people standing around, watching their impromptu fight. "At least I'm not out there, whoring around or sticking God knows what up my nose."
"Ok, if you're going to fight with me, get the facts straight. And I hardly think you are one to rant at me for my choices in women!" He yelled back. "Last I looked you were single, or are you dating some invisible man?"
"I'd rather be single, then dating anything that walks. But you sure pushed that boundary with Dru, didn't you? What was it like fucking a wannabe-corpse? Does she look that stiff and cold *all* the time? Or was it just from dating you?" Buffy knew that she had crossed a line, but didn't really care at that point.
"You want to rehash past relationships? Fine then, we will! I may be fucking groupies, as you seem to adamant to think but at least I'm getting some. When was the last time *you* saw a dick?"
"I'm looking at one *right now*! Why would anyone with half a brain want to be with you anyway? Retarded, drugged up groupies, that's who! Stupid hair, sad attempt at a Goth look, doesn't want to fit in with the music group anymore, and you don't know how to act! Poor Spikey, where do you fit in? You can't do anything right." Buffy screamed.
"At least I wasn't rejected by a b-grade actor with nasty gelled hair. Can't even satisfy a *sad* excuse for a man, can you pet? Must be pretty hard for you, knowing that a wannabe-corpse that is cold and stiff all the time is what makes your man all hot and bothered! You reel the guys in, and they just throw you back. At least my groupies don't act like two-bit whores!"
*CRUNCH* the fight ended there when Buffy's fist connected with his nose and blood started to gush out.
"You're an asshole, Spike!" Buffy screamed, moving in to take another swing at him while he was clutching his face. An arm wrapped around her waist as the crew suddenly sprang into action. They had sat back and let the blonde duo get their frustrations out but when it turned physical they had to step in.
"Whoa there, Buffy. Calm down." Wesley dragged her away from Spike as an on-set medic came to look at his nose.
"I hope it's broken, you bastard!" Buffy screamed over her shoulder as Wesley led her out of the motel room. She wrenched her arm out of his grasp as they got outside. They went into the room next to the one they were shooting in that they had checked out for scene set-up and a break room.
"Sit." Wesley's tone made Buffy cringe inside. She had just done the most unprofessional thing ever back there. The best she could hope for out of this was to be fired and be able to work again in show business.
"I am so-" She started.
"Cut it. I know you didn't mean to do this, I know you are more professional than that, I get that. I know things are not the best that they could be between you two right now. But Buffy, you have to get over it." Wesley sat in a chair facing her as she sat on the bed.
"I know. I have been trying for the past few weeks. I have been doing my best to stay out of his way and not provoke things on set. I don't know what else to do."
"I think that staying out of his way might be the problem. You two have made no effort to get to know one another better, have nothing more than basic conversation. Look, I have worked on movies where the stars hate each other and it sucks. The chemistry just isn't there and it sinks the movie."
"I am so sorry Wes! I swear that I am going to try harder. I won't sink the movie, I swear." Buffy was almost sobbing at the thought of being named 'the girl who ruined the movie' in all Hollywood circles for the rest of her life.
"I know you won't. I'm not worried about that at all." Wes handed her a Kleenex that Buffy blew her nose on. He stood up and walked to the door. "Wait here for a minute, ok?" She just nodded.
*You've certainly bungled this one up good, haven't you?* Buffy thought miserably. *Great way to break out in Hollywood- break someone's nose.*
Wesley was back in a minute, dragging a very pissed Spike behind him. He took a seat beside her on the bed, holding a cold pack to his nose.
"I'm sorry." Buffy said softly.
"You damn well should be! I'm just lucky it isn't broken!" Wesley cleared his throat as Spike's voice rose. He looked at the man and nodded slightly. "I'm sorry too. Said some stuff that shouldn't have been said. You've got quite the arm on you, remind me not to get so close to you when we fight again."
"Hopefully that won't be happening anymore." Wesley spoke up. The two blondes looked at him like he had three heads, wondering how he would ever get them to stop fighting. *Unless he's firing me,* Buffy thought, panicking slightly.
"I've talked it over with Snyder and we have decided what we're going to do. Don't worry, Buffy, we're not firing you." He added quickly as he noticed the slight girl's chin start to quiver. "He basically left the decision up to me, actually. His ideas of how to get you guys to get along weren't the best in the world. So, you two have the next two days off."
Buffy and Spike just looked at him but their bodies relaxed visibly. Both thought that he wanted them to get some space between them. "You two are going to spend the next two days getting to know each other."
"Huh? How?" Buffy asked.
"Well, today's Thursday, so tomorrow and Saturday you two will spend every second possible together. You each will get a day to do whatever you want but the other has to do it as well."
"And if I decide to drive red-hot pokers into my eyes? Will she have to do it too?" Spike asked, only receiving a glare from both Wes and Buffy.
"What if we don't do it?" Buffy asked.
"Then we will have to let you go. We want you guys to do the best we know you have. There is no way you will be able to carry off the love scenes without ruining the movie."
"Are you planning on sending a chaperone with us to make sure we aren't killing each other, or to make sure we actually *are* together?" Spike asked.
"No. But I will be calling you two at random times of the day to make sure you're together. It isn't just my movie that's in danger, but your careers. No one will want to work with you if they know that you don't get along well with co-stars or that you can't act past your feelings towards another."
"Does he have to go *everywhere* with me? Cause I have that thing tomorrow night, Wes. The benefit?" Buffy pleaded with Wesley with her eyes but he didn't relent. "I am sure that he cleans up nicely, Buffy. Everywhere."
"Well, hope you like loud rock music and noisy clubs, cause that's where we'll be going Saturday, luv." Spike said.
"We're going to a club? Do I have to watch you pick up?" Buffy whined. Spike rolled his eyes.
"No. My band is playing. And what kind of thing is this tomorrow?" He asked, worried she would drag him to some weird PETA benefit or something; with paint covered furs or raising money to save a cow.
"You can talk about it later. I'm canceling shooting for the rest of the day, seeing as how it is almost quit time anyway. You two don't have to be together tonight, but I expect you to be up and ready to go at eight o'clock."
"8 a.m.? We can't even sleep in?" Buffy whined again.
"This is work Buffy. Just because you aren't on set doesn't mean that you can slack off. We'll still be working, so you don't get to sleep in."
"Oh, all right." Buffy grumbled. Two whole days with the bleached wonder and she couldn't even drown herself in sleep to escape it.
"I am sending you two back to the hotel in the same car, because I don't want one of you getting up in the morning, springing something on the other. Tomorrow is your day, Buffy?"
"Guess so."
"And I've got Saturday." Spike finished for him.
"Yes. Now, do you two think you can sit in the same car together without killing one another?" Wesley felt like a kindergarten teacher, working out a playground dispute. Spike lowered his cold pack, revealing a red, slightly swollen nose.
"Yeah, I suppose so. Just as long as Xena here doesn't get punch happy again."
"Buffy?"
"I promise I'll be good." Wesley dismissed the two actors and they headed for the door.
"Uh, Spike?" Buffy asked nervously. *Please don't hate me forever. I really don't want to be the one girl you hate till the end of time. Plus, I can't enjoy your good looks if I know that I never had a chance cause you think I'm a massive bitch, which I am.*
"Yeah?" He turned his head to look at her. * It's not like I didn't deserve that sock. I WAS a bastard. And these next two days might be what we need. If not, she's still easy on the eyes.*
As they walked out of the room to go back to their respective trailers, Wesley heard her question. "Are you going to press assault charges against me?"
"And let the world know what a tiny thing like you managed to bring me down? Not likely." Wesley smiled to himself, wondering if this experiment would work. If it did, he might get the same passion out of them for the scenes in which the characters did like each other, as they had when they didn't like each other.
*Cause lord knows there's more there than straight hared for each other. They'll come back here on Sunday and be ok*, Wesley thought. *Or else I have just sent two people off with homicidal feelings toward each other to massacre themselves. Oh lord. *
After that day by the pool Buffy and Spike avoided each other like the plague. He held the opinion that she was a stuck-up, judgmental snob and she thought that he was a drug addled loser freak. Life was good.
Good for everyone except for those who had to work with them on-set. It had been three weeks since that fateful day, and luckily the majority of scenes that were being shot were with the minor characters and some of the scenes where Buffy and Spike's characters hated each other. The premise of the movie was that Buffy's character Laney had to rob a bank in order to get her inheritance which was cheated out of her by her father's associate and former lover, played by Angel. Spike's character Jake was attempting to steal Buffy's car as she robbed the bank and got caught as her hostage. He decided to blackmail her with turning her in to get some of her money, and she threatened to kill him, so they are each being held by the other. They set out to avoid the authorities and track down her co-conspirator, played by Cordelia, who split from Buffy/Laney in order to take the money to a safe place.
Shooting was all well and good while Laney and Jake were supposed to be hating each other and taking each other hostage, but soon that would change, because along the way they would start caring for each other and that would involve kissing and love-making and touching in places that Buffy and Spike didn't even want to think about. They knew this day was coming, they just didn't know it would be so soon. They somehow got lucky with the shooting schedule being arranged with the hating scenes planned first. Today they were shooting in a motel room, filming one of their bargaining scenes where Jake counters her hostage taking with blackmail. An argument was, of course, to occur.
"Are you sure it isn't too late to make Laney some kind of leper or something?" Buffy asked Wesley hopefully. She knew that she could gripe to him and not have to worry about him getting mad, but the executive producer of the movie was a scary little man named Snyder who didn't really like Buffy, or anyone for that matter.
The tension on set between the two blondes had been growing since the movie began shooting, but today it had almost come to a head. The rest of the cast and crew were waiting for shit to hit the fan for about a week now, and knew that today it would likely happen.
"Buffy." Wesley started. Buffy waved her hands in the air.
"I know, I know. Act professional and all that." She said as she walked away, the man looking after her.
"That isn't what I was going to say." He sighed.
* * * * *
"Alright people, places. Lets try and get this done!" Snyder barked. Buffy sighed and took her place next to the bed, where Spike was slumped, waiting for the scene to start. She had a fake gun in her hand and was dressed in black from head to toe, having robbed the bank a couple yet to be shot scenes earlier.
"Let's get this over with." He muttered, standing up as Snyder took his place by the monitor.
"Don't screw up then." Buffy retorted, more under her breath than anything, partly because she wasn't sure if he was talking to her and partly because she really didn't want to start something with him. Too late, though.
"What's that now?" He asked her, angrily.
"Nothing, nothing. Just get over it. Lets get this over with, right?" She spat back.
"Crazy bint." He muttered. They both had murderous expressions on their faces as Snyder yelled action, which actually fit perfectly with the scene.
"Look, I don't like this anymore than you do. But you're a hostage, you're not supposed to like it." Buffy/Laney crossed her arms and stared down at Spike/Jake.
"Well the way I look at it, I've go you by the shorthairs." He smirked at her, in character.
"And how do you see that, bleached wonder?"
"Sure, you have me as your little hostage, for right now. But if I'm going to be in your custody for the next little while, I think I deserve some monetary reimbursement. For lost wages and all that."
"Lost wages? You steal cars for a living you prick. And how do you think *I* will be paying *you*?"
"Well," Spike/Jake started, standing up. Buffy/Laney pointed the gun at him, but he kept coming at her till the gun was against his chest. "You have a hefty sum of money coming to you, don't you? Sure, you have to cut your partner in, but it's not like you won't still have enough to do an *Indecent Proposa*l roll in the millions left over." He dropped his voice seductively. "And that is something that I wouldn't mind seeing, actually."
Buffy knew it was her line, but having him so close to her, feeling his breath on her, picturing the things he was saying caused her to fumble her lines.
"I- I hardly- er- don't think.." She trailed off as Snyder yelled cut.
"Bloody hell, Summers. Can't you get anything right? Want to get this done soon, eh?" Spike moved away from her. Buffy cursed herself.
"*SO* sorry King Spike. Didn't mean to keep you from your precious rock-star commitments or whatever the hell you have to do. Or who you have to do."
"Get off your high horse Summers. You're just jealous that I actually have something exciting to do with my life off this set. I know it must be a spine-tingling adventure sitting in your hotel room, looking over your damn script all the time, not that it did any good for you."
"Oh, fuck off Spike!" Buffy exploded; tired of this cycle of hate and rage they kept going through. She didn't even pay attention to the people standing around, watching their impromptu fight. "At least I'm not out there, whoring around or sticking God knows what up my nose."
"Ok, if you're going to fight with me, get the facts straight. And I hardly think you are one to rant at me for my choices in women!" He yelled back. "Last I looked you were single, or are you dating some invisible man?"
"I'd rather be single, then dating anything that walks. But you sure pushed that boundary with Dru, didn't you? What was it like fucking a wannabe-corpse? Does she look that stiff and cold *all* the time? Or was it just from dating you?" Buffy knew that she had crossed a line, but didn't really care at that point.
"You want to rehash past relationships? Fine then, we will! I may be fucking groupies, as you seem to adamant to think but at least I'm getting some. When was the last time *you* saw a dick?"
"I'm looking at one *right now*! Why would anyone with half a brain want to be with you anyway? Retarded, drugged up groupies, that's who! Stupid hair, sad attempt at a Goth look, doesn't want to fit in with the music group anymore, and you don't know how to act! Poor Spikey, where do you fit in? You can't do anything right." Buffy screamed.
"At least I wasn't rejected by a b-grade actor with nasty gelled hair. Can't even satisfy a *sad* excuse for a man, can you pet? Must be pretty hard for you, knowing that a wannabe-corpse that is cold and stiff all the time is what makes your man all hot and bothered! You reel the guys in, and they just throw you back. At least my groupies don't act like two-bit whores!"
*CRUNCH* the fight ended there when Buffy's fist connected with his nose and blood started to gush out.
"You're an asshole, Spike!" Buffy screamed, moving in to take another swing at him while he was clutching his face. An arm wrapped around her waist as the crew suddenly sprang into action. They had sat back and let the blonde duo get their frustrations out but when it turned physical they had to step in.
"Whoa there, Buffy. Calm down." Wesley dragged her away from Spike as an on-set medic came to look at his nose.
"I hope it's broken, you bastard!" Buffy screamed over her shoulder as Wesley led her out of the motel room. She wrenched her arm out of his grasp as they got outside. They went into the room next to the one they were shooting in that they had checked out for scene set-up and a break room.
"Sit." Wesley's tone made Buffy cringe inside. She had just done the most unprofessional thing ever back there. The best she could hope for out of this was to be fired and be able to work again in show business.
"I am so-" She started.
"Cut it. I know you didn't mean to do this, I know you are more professional than that, I get that. I know things are not the best that they could be between you two right now. But Buffy, you have to get over it." Wesley sat in a chair facing her as she sat on the bed.
"I know. I have been trying for the past few weeks. I have been doing my best to stay out of his way and not provoke things on set. I don't know what else to do."
"I think that staying out of his way might be the problem. You two have made no effort to get to know one another better, have nothing more than basic conversation. Look, I have worked on movies where the stars hate each other and it sucks. The chemistry just isn't there and it sinks the movie."
"I am so sorry Wes! I swear that I am going to try harder. I won't sink the movie, I swear." Buffy was almost sobbing at the thought of being named 'the girl who ruined the movie' in all Hollywood circles for the rest of her life.
"I know you won't. I'm not worried about that at all." Wes handed her a Kleenex that Buffy blew her nose on. He stood up and walked to the door. "Wait here for a minute, ok?" She just nodded.
*You've certainly bungled this one up good, haven't you?* Buffy thought miserably. *Great way to break out in Hollywood- break someone's nose.*
Wesley was back in a minute, dragging a very pissed Spike behind him. He took a seat beside her on the bed, holding a cold pack to his nose.
"I'm sorry." Buffy said softly.
"You damn well should be! I'm just lucky it isn't broken!" Wesley cleared his throat as Spike's voice rose. He looked at the man and nodded slightly. "I'm sorry too. Said some stuff that shouldn't have been said. You've got quite the arm on you, remind me not to get so close to you when we fight again."
"Hopefully that won't be happening anymore." Wesley spoke up. The two blondes looked at him like he had three heads, wondering how he would ever get them to stop fighting. *Unless he's firing me,* Buffy thought, panicking slightly.
"I've talked it over with Snyder and we have decided what we're going to do. Don't worry, Buffy, we're not firing you." He added quickly as he noticed the slight girl's chin start to quiver. "He basically left the decision up to me, actually. His ideas of how to get you guys to get along weren't the best in the world. So, you two have the next two days off."
Buffy and Spike just looked at him but their bodies relaxed visibly. Both thought that he wanted them to get some space between them. "You two are going to spend the next two days getting to know each other."
"Huh? How?" Buffy asked.
"Well, today's Thursday, so tomorrow and Saturday you two will spend every second possible together. You each will get a day to do whatever you want but the other has to do it as well."
"And if I decide to drive red-hot pokers into my eyes? Will she have to do it too?" Spike asked, only receiving a glare from both Wes and Buffy.
"What if we don't do it?" Buffy asked.
"Then we will have to let you go. We want you guys to do the best we know you have. There is no way you will be able to carry off the love scenes without ruining the movie."
"Are you planning on sending a chaperone with us to make sure we aren't killing each other, or to make sure we actually *are* together?" Spike asked.
"No. But I will be calling you two at random times of the day to make sure you're together. It isn't just my movie that's in danger, but your careers. No one will want to work with you if they know that you don't get along well with co-stars or that you can't act past your feelings towards another."
"Does he have to go *everywhere* with me? Cause I have that thing tomorrow night, Wes. The benefit?" Buffy pleaded with Wesley with her eyes but he didn't relent. "I am sure that he cleans up nicely, Buffy. Everywhere."
"Well, hope you like loud rock music and noisy clubs, cause that's where we'll be going Saturday, luv." Spike said.
"We're going to a club? Do I have to watch you pick up?" Buffy whined. Spike rolled his eyes.
"No. My band is playing. And what kind of thing is this tomorrow?" He asked, worried she would drag him to some weird PETA benefit or something; with paint covered furs or raising money to save a cow.
"You can talk about it later. I'm canceling shooting for the rest of the day, seeing as how it is almost quit time anyway. You two don't have to be together tonight, but I expect you to be up and ready to go at eight o'clock."
"8 a.m.? We can't even sleep in?" Buffy whined again.
"This is work Buffy. Just because you aren't on set doesn't mean that you can slack off. We'll still be working, so you don't get to sleep in."
"Oh, all right." Buffy grumbled. Two whole days with the bleached wonder and she couldn't even drown herself in sleep to escape it.
"I am sending you two back to the hotel in the same car, because I don't want one of you getting up in the morning, springing something on the other. Tomorrow is your day, Buffy?"
"Guess so."
"And I've got Saturday." Spike finished for him.
"Yes. Now, do you two think you can sit in the same car together without killing one another?" Wesley felt like a kindergarten teacher, working out a playground dispute. Spike lowered his cold pack, revealing a red, slightly swollen nose.
"Yeah, I suppose so. Just as long as Xena here doesn't get punch happy again."
"Buffy?"
"I promise I'll be good." Wesley dismissed the two actors and they headed for the door.
"Uh, Spike?" Buffy asked nervously. *Please don't hate me forever. I really don't want to be the one girl you hate till the end of time. Plus, I can't enjoy your good looks if I know that I never had a chance cause you think I'm a massive bitch, which I am.*
"Yeah?" He turned his head to look at her. * It's not like I didn't deserve that sock. I WAS a bastard. And these next two days might be what we need. If not, she's still easy on the eyes.*
As they walked out of the room to go back to their respective trailers, Wesley heard her question. "Are you going to press assault charges against me?"
"And let the world know what a tiny thing like you managed to bring me down? Not likely." Wesley smiled to himself, wondering if this experiment would work. If it did, he might get the same passion out of them for the scenes in which the characters did like each other, as they had when they didn't like each other.
*Cause lord knows there's more there than straight hared for each other. They'll come back here on Sunday and be ok*, Wesley thought. *Or else I have just sent two people off with homicidal feelings toward each other to massacre themselves. Oh lord. *