Part 13 up so soon! What's up with that? I'm working on part 17 right now, so hopefully updates should come a bit more regular now. HOPEFULLY. This Thursday I start to move into my new apartment and next Thursday I start school, so things might be a bit unstable for a bit, depending on how hectic things are. Look for more MLIT next though!
Remember- reviews make Mari VERY happy! Also, remember to check out my site- w w w. still- believe . org / marishna
The next day dawned bright and sunny on two very tired potential movie stars. They greeted each other in the lobby with acknowledging nods. Buffy clutched a cup of coffee as if her life depended on it, and Spike wore sunglasses, despite the fact that they were still indoors.
"You know you look wicked conspicuous, right?" Buffy asked as they left the hotel for the car waiting for them. Spike grunted absently in reply, seemingly too tied and lost in thought to give much of a response. Buffy just shrugged and enjoyed the silence.
Today was going to be odd, to say the least. They were friends now, yes, but the boundaries of that friendship had been tested, were constantly being pushed, and might shatter today depending on how hot the kissing scene they were supposed to shoot would get. It wasn't scripted as a sexy kiss, but with them, Lord only knew what would happen.
When they got to the set, back at the motel, everyone was cautious around the two blondes, as if expecting them to implode on one another at a moment's notice. Wes, however, was overjoyed.
"Look at you two, coming in together. And in one piece, even, with all your limbs intact and no visible scarring. I like what I see. I take it my experiment was somewhat of a success?" Wes asked as his actors, fresh from makeup, hair, and wardrobe, entered the set. They were to be soaked from head to toe after coming out of the rain so their hair was wet and messy. The plan was to pour a few buckets of water onto them before shooting started.
"We can be in the same room together, for extended periods of time even," Buffy told the director, feigning pride. She shifted from foot to foot anxiously, wanting to get this scene over with.
"Yeah. I even got her up on stage last night and she didn't even try to claw my eyes out," Spike joked.
"Really? You sing, Buffy?"
"No – "
Spike cut her off. "Yes, she does, and very well."
"That's interesting. Maybe we should consider the possibility of you doing a song for the soundtrack? Maybe even a duet with Spike, here? He's already doing three songs with his band for the album," Wesley suggested, oblivious to her discomfort.
"No, I think I'll leave the singing to him and I'll stick to acting," Buffy told the men. Great, yet another situation I get to fantasize about being with Spike in. Buffy gritted her teeth and smiled tightly.
Spike on the other hand, was enjoying watching her squirm. He wasn't tired in the least but had refrained from starting a conversation in the car and shielded his eyes to give himself a little quiet time to think and to make her wonder. He was also able to observe her without her knowing with the sunglasses on, and that was a plus. He could tell in the car that she was conflicted; from the way she bit her lip and kept looking at him nervously. She was confused about him, about them, and that made him very happy. At least he wasn't the only one scratching his head about what was going on.
"Alright people, lets get this done. Get the water on them." Wes called out, pointing to Buffy and Spike.
"Bottoms up, eh luv?" Spike asked with a grin. Buffy smiled back and let out a small yelp as the water was poured over her shoulders. It was warm but getting colder fast and seeped into her clothes as she shivered. Spike grumbled slightly as well but as soon as they took their places they snapped out of it.
"You don't seem to get this, do you? There won't be any money to give you unless we find my partner. And we can't do that unless you stop being a big baby and drive the damn car," Buffy started with the lines that they had rehearsed yesterday in the pool.
"I can't drive the car, and you know it. I'm a wanted car thief, in case you've forgotten." Spike threw his arms wide at her.
"And I'm the one with the gun! Who's got who by the balls now?"
"I don't care! Shoot me, it's not like I don't have dirt on you when the cops come to get me!"
"Whatever." Buffy moved to go into the motel room, but was grabbed by the arm by Spike. He turned her around quickly, drawing a slight gasp out of her. He pulled her to him and slammed his lips on hers, barely giving her time to react. The kiss softened slightly, the passion obvious as she started to respond. Buffy was just getting into the kiss when Snyder yelled 'cut'. Spike released her immediately, not even looking at her.
"Good. Let's take it again, from the top," Wes directed. Buffy took a couple steps back to her mark and took a deep breath. That had felt hot, but he wouldn't even look at her. Was this him telling her the first kiss was wrong? Buffy pondered this as the makeup people misted her more with water bottles.
They did the scene again, and again Buffy felt the spark between them but Spike showed no sign of recognition or of encouragement. He released her immediately when Snyder yelled 'cut' and didn't even look at her, except in the scene. She knew of people that got into the character and tried not to be disturbed when they were in 'the zone' but this was Spike! Last night he had been hot to trot for her, and this morning it was like she didn't even exist. Maybe they weren't going to act as friendly as they said they would. Maybe he was second-guessing their friendship- maybe he was second-guessing her!
Over and over they kissed, and each time Buffy tried to get some kind of reaction from him – a look, a smile, any kind of acknowledgement that she was alive in his world, but got nothing. By the time Snyder had felt that he had enough takes of the kiss, Buffy was confused beyond belief. She walked away from the set to give herself a little time, biting her lip and wondering what had happened.
Spike watched her go, pleased with himself for not giving into the kiss. He had wanted to, boy had he wanted to. But if she wanted to keep things strictly professional, then that is how things would be. The way she had reacted told him that it didn't seem like it would be that much longer before she caved and admitted to herself how much she liked him.
"That was was rather- um… realistic, was it not?." Wesley came over to stand next to Spike. The blonde man just looked at his fellow Brit and smiled slyly and walked away.
"Ready for the next one, luv?" Spike asked Buffy as he passed her, on his way to his trailer. She just stopped and watched his retreating form walk away, still completely confused about those kisses.
The week passed quickly as more and more of the movie was filmed. Spirits among the cast and crew were high, which Wes credited to the improved relations between Buffy and Spike. No more kissing scenes were filmed right away which alleviated some of the pressure that Spike felt when he was around Buffy but they were in the close confines of a car for most of the week, filming some of the road scenes and their first encounter at the bank when Jake tried to carjack Laney.
Buffy had gotten over her confusion of that first day back on set and the kiss, but something still felt off about Spike. There were no more offside comments about salacious things they could be doing, or gazes in her direction. No attempts to be closer to her than necessary and no more hints of kissing or being anywhere near her at any time. It was exactly what she had asked for and yet she felt utterly abandoned and rejected. This was stupid, in her mind, because there was nothing between them to be abandoned or rejected.
Right? Buffy asked herself the following Friday. I'm getting worked up over nothing. I laid the rules down for him and he's following them. Nothing more, nothing less. Nothing at all, in fact. Buffy heaved a great sigh and went to take her place beside Spike on the stretch of road they were filming on.
"So what are you doing tonight, luv?" Spike asked her as they waited for Snyder to start filming.
"Sleeping. Much needed sleep. You? Performing again tonight?" Buffy scuffed her feet in the dirt and leaned on the car they were filming beside.
"No, not this weekend. We're trying to perform as little as possible while I'm filming. It's too much work," Spike explained. Buffy nodded. "I thought that I would stay in for the night, catch up on some reading maybe."
"Reading? What kind of reading?" Buffy perked up, eager to learn more about him.
"Whatever's around, usually. I went through a good chunk of Shakespeare when we were on tour. I read bestsellers, obscure novels, magazines, poetry…. Whatever."
"So what's the pick of Spike's book club this week?" Buffy asked
"Um, well I'm reading…um…Harrypotterandthegobletoffire," Spike mumbled quickly. Buffy cocked her head.
"What was that?"
"Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire." Spike sighed as he said it. He was sure she would laugh at him for reading a kids' novel, after all the 'adult' material he had listed off.
"I love that book!" Buffy gasped. "My sister Dawn and I had a contest to see who could read it faster."
'Oh, who won?"
"Well, she did. But I was working. I didn't have a choice," Buffy waved her hand. "Wow, Big Bad's got a soft side."
"Yeah, but I'd 'ppreciate it stayin' between the two 'f us, if you know what I mean." Spike looked around to see if any of the crew heard him. This was just the thing that he would get teased about mercilessly and it would get caught on a blooper reel when he least expected it.
"Don't worry Spike. You're secret's safe with me." Buffy grinned at him. Spike smiled back, wanting desperately to reach out to pull her off the car and hug her tightly, to wrap her up in his arms and never let her go. Luckily Snyder's barking voice cut through his thoughts and stopped him.
"Alright, let's stop wasting time, people. Hurry up! Places!" Snyder took his spot next to the monitor and watched as one of the last scenes of the day unfolded, eager to get back to his hotel and forget this day, this place, these people. The crew scurried around him to ready the shot. "Congratulations, you have all proved more or less adequate," He muttered to himself.
"Action!"
"So what's up between you and Buffy, man?" Xander asked Spike as they walked towards the trailers.
"What do you mean?" Spike asked with a grin.
"Come on. You go away last week pretty much at death's door and come back all closer than close. Just wondering what happened in those two days to turn a Johnny don't into a Johnny do."
"We're not doing anything, if that's what you're getting at Harris," Spike told him, not wanting to start rumors like that about Buffy.
"But you want to?" Xander asked Spike sighed and turned to him.
"You're not going to let up, are you?"
"I'm on a mission from Cordy, so no."
"Cordelia? What's that bird got to do with this?" Spike gestured for Xander to come into his trailer when they reached it and the two sat at the small table.
"Well, she's been noticing how preoccupied Buffy was this week and I just thought I would offer my services to inquire as to the – "
Spike cut him off. "You're sweet on her, aren't you, whelp?" Spike asked, taking out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket. He lit one as Xander turned red and started to stutter.
"Well, no- I mean… she's… I ….W-well," he sighed. "Do you think it's this obvious to Cordy?"
"Absolutely no doubt in my mind. That's why she sent you here to scope out the information. You're her little lap dog now," Spike chuckled.
"Do you think she likes me?" Xander asked.
"Maybe. Women are a bit of an enigma, aren't they?" Spike puffed hard on his cigarette, thinking about one particular blonde he was trying to figure out and bait at the same time, not really knowing what he was doing. He knew that this week had been getting to her, making her doubt her decisions but he wondered if it wasn't going a little too far, pushing her away instead.
"Ain't that the truth? So what is it? Got your own enigma there, Spike?" Xander asked. Spike sighed and threw his butt to the ground, stomping it out with his heavily booted foot.
"Something like that. What do you think of Buffy?" Spike asked Xander.
"She's pretty cool. I suppose you would know more about that than I would though."
"What do you mean?" Spike asked.
"Come on. You guys didn't just come back in one piece from Wes's experiment in friendship; you guys came back practically joined at the hip. Why haven't you made your move yet? According to Cordy, Buffy's just about pulling her hair out over you – in a good way."
"She is?" Spike had to smile at this, ecstatic he'd gotten confirmation that his trial in giving her a dose of her own medicine was working.
"So you are digging on her?" Xander asked, triumphantly.
"Yeah, maybe a little. Don't know what's going to happen though."
"I'm sure you'll think of something, Casanova," Xander clapped him on the shoulder as he stood up. "If Cordy has any say in it you guys will be together by the end of next week."
"We'll see," Spike murmured, as Xander walked away to his trailer. "We'll see."
"So what's the deal with you and that hottie?" Cordelia grilled Buffy as she changed from the tiny bathroom.
"What hottie?" Buffy asked, emerging from the tiny toilet dressed in her own clothes.
"Duh! Spike! Are you guys progressing well?" Cordy asked, almost bouncing in her seat and the small trailer table. Buffy sat beside her.
"Progressing toward what?" Buffy asked, desperately hoping to avoid the whole conversation about her love life – at least when it came to one bleached wonder and her less than clean thoughts about him of late.
Cordy shook her head. "Buffy, I swear, sometimes I think you just want to slay your love life and close yourself off from everyone."
"It's worked in the past?" Buffy explained weakly.
"Move on from the past then, open your eyes and wake up to the snotty British goodness you have at your feet, waiting to fetch you your slippers."
"What?"
"He's totally your lapdog!" Cordy screeched.
"No, we're just friends Cordy," Buffy said with a shake of her head, not wanting to get her hopes up or confuse herself further over the state of whatever relationship she had with Spike right now.
"Right. That's why I see him making moon eyes at you all the time, trying to get your attention, teasing you, making you wonder about him. I'd go after him myself, but it's not like he'd notice me anyway, not with you around."
"Huh?" Buffy hadn't succeeded in trying to remain oblivious to the other girl's comments and was now thinking back on the past week for any signs that Cordy seemed to think he was giving out.
"Oh come on Buffy. Spike's got a crush on you. He's totally in love with you."
"No, he's not. I promise you. He's a friend now. That's all. Why can't anyone understand that?" Buffy kept insisting.
Cordy sighed. "Why are you so adamant in screwing this up? There is a guy out there, totally trying to get you to fall for him and you don't even want to see it. I don't know what this is about but you need to figure it out, spank your inner moppet and move on. I know you haven't exactly had the best of relationships, from seeing Angel, but if that's what's causing this total daytime soap opera trauma where you deny yourself what you really want then you have to snap out of it. Great guys like Spike only come around like once in never. He likes you, act on it."
"I can't though. What is something goes wrong and we end up hating each other worse and then we ruin the movie?" Buffy replied, desperately trying to make Cordy understand her reasoning, and maybe trying to re-convince herself in the process.
"You guys are actors for Christ's sake. You'll get over it. Besides, weren't you ever a young girl and thought that when your true love came along you'd scale the highest mountain or swim in the deepest sea to get to him? Didn't you ever have that fantasy?"
"Well, yeah. But I doubt Spike is my true love," Buffy said.
"I bet he'd be good in the sack though. That would be good enough, wouldn't it?" Cordy said thoughtfully.
"Cordelia!" Buffy shrieked.
Cordy just regarded her with a raised eyebrow. "Oh yeah, like you don't want to jump his bones."
Buffy blushed but didn't deny it.
"See? Look, he likes you. I don't know what you want to do with that information but I hope you don't deny yourself the great time that you could have with him, even if it's just for the next couple of months. At least it's a way for you not to get attached. Stop thinking about everyone else's wants and needs and think about your own. Got it?" Cordelia asked, standing up.
Buffy nodded and watched the brunette leave her trailer.
"See ya later."
Cordelia had made a lot of sense with her speech. It was high time that she started living for herself and quit worrying about others expectations and their views. But when that went for her career, it was hard for her to think that way.
Then again, two months wouldn't hurt, would it? If things didn't work out they would likely never see each other again beyond this movie.
At least it's a way for you not to get attached, Cordy's words echoed in her ears. Buffy sighed and laid her head in her hands. Great, blow my career off, get involved with a totally inappropriate man and then get attached. I have a flair to do the complete opposite of what I should… damn. There is no way I can get involved with him. None.
"Buffy, you need to get laid."
"Willow!" Buffy yelled into the receiver at her best friend/manager. "You're supposed to be trying to cover up my tawdry affairs, not cause them! "
"Kind of hard to cover up non-existence. Look, I saw the pictures of you and Spike at the club and you looked pretty cozy."
"No, no, no," Buffy moaned, burying her face in her hands yet again.
"Something wrong?" Willow asked.
"I just don't get why everyone is so persistent in trying to interfere in my self-imposed chastity, especially when it comes to one Spike Giles."
"You've taken a vow of chastity?" Willow asked, confused.
"No, but I think I should when it comes to Spike," Buffy sighed and slumped onto her bed, pulling the covers over her. It was just after nine and Buffy was so tired that she was ready to turn in. She had to call her best friend before she could turn in though to try to alleviate some of her conflicted feelings before sleeping on them.
"Has something happened? Or will happen?"
"No, I don't think so. I won't let it," Buffy explained.
"Why the hell not? I may be gay but I know a hottie when I see one," Willow said.
"Because he's my co-star, Will. And I'm trying to focus on my career right now. I can't go off all willy-nilly with a co-star," Buffy told Willow, trying to reaffirm her own convictions.
"Willy-nilly? Ok, Buffy, you really need to get laid. I don't care if it's by Spike or some random guy, just get some and get over it."
"Willow Rosenberg!! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Look, I appreciate that you're so concerned with my love life but honestly; can't a girl just take some down time from guys? Can't she just want to be friends, platonic, everyday, no pressure friends?"
"Buffy, it's me. Your best friend. You can't give me that bullshit and expect me to believe it. You like him, don't you?"
Buffy sighed and closed her eyes. "Yes."
"Then what's the problem?"
"Us! This! The movie, my career, the fact that in two months he'll be gone off on another adventure." The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them.
"Maybe this is your adventure, Buffy," Willow told her softly. "Who says that every relationship has to last for a long time? I know you're scared, Buffy, but you have to stop living your life that way. You have to stop hiding behind your career and start facing up to real life."
"I know, Will. But it's hard, you know? I just- don't know what to do," Buffy slumped farther down on her bed.
"Do what feels right. Don't push it, but don't pass up a perfect opportunity to be happy just because you are worried about tomorrow or next week or something, ok? Promise me you won't hide anymore?"
"I promise to try," Buffy offered. Willow sighed but accepted. They talked for a little while longer, arranging a time to get together for lunch and for Willow to come to the set. Just when they were about to hang up Willow remembered something she meant to bring up.
"Oh! Buffy, I need to talk to you about something before you go."
"Shoot."
"I've been checking out your fan mail, and FYI there has been a noticeable increase since you started this movie, and even more since last week when people saw you with Spike, so you're gaining a fan base," Willow told her.
"Well woo for me! Yay fans," Buffy said tiredly, but internally excited at the thought of people liking her.
"Yeah, that's the good news. I came across a couple letters and cards that were a little… well… odd to say the least. I just don't know what to do about them."
"Odd how?" Buffy asked, sitting up.
"Just very obsessive. Could be an over zealous fan, or it could be a precursor to something more serious. Do you want me to notify the police?" Willow asked.
"Nah," Buffy shook her head to herself. "Keep them around, but if there are any more tell me and we'll go from there. I'm sure I have more than one odd fan out there, given my roles of late. He's probably just a Trekkie fan who liked my Vulcan turn."
"If you say so," Willow replied. Finally they finished their conversation and hung up, allowing Buffy to sigh contentedly and sink back into the bed, dropping the phone on her stand. She relaxed, allowing the tension to ease out of her body.
*RING* Buffy's eyes snapped open at the doorbell. She looked at the clock and groaned, then grumbled to herself at being annoyed about not being able to go to bed at nine-thirty in the evening. When had she become such an old maid?
She stumbled out of the bed and shuffled to the front door in her Yummy Sushi pajamas and bare feet and opened it without checking to see who it was. It was either going to be hotel staff or the one person she was dreading for two different reasons- because he was the bane of her existence and because she was hot for him. It was the latter.
"'lo luv. You've got a TV, right?" Spike brushed past her into the suite and directly to the bedroom. Buffy closed the door and leaned her forehead against it for a brief moment before following him. When she got to the bedroom he had taken possession of the remote control and was flipping through the channels.
"Spike? What exactly are you doing here?" Buffy sat on the bed and watched him.
"Trying to find Passions. Bloody brilliant show. We get the 24-hour soap channel here."
"So why aren't you watching it in your room?" she asked.
"My set's screwed up. The connection got fried or some deal. Can't use either of them," Spike explained.
"The hotel can't fix them?" she asked.
"Luv, it's almost ten o'clock at night. Everyone's in bed."
Buffy groaned at this and hid her head in the pillows.
Spike looked at her curiously. "Are you okay, pet?"
"I'm fine. Just tired."
Spike finally took notice of her attire, the pajamas and the rumpled bed and realized that his scheme to get closer to her had gotten her out of bed. "I'm sorry, luv. I didn't know that you were asleep. I can go." Spike put the remote down and moved to the door.
Buffy remembered Willow's words and spoke up. "No, that's okay. If your show means that much to you, you can watch it. I don't mind. I can be a rebel and stay up past ten." Buffy joked.
Spike smiled and picked the remote back up. He walked to the other side of the bed and stretched out.
Buffy just gawked at him, not believing that the object of her trauma for the past month and a half was lying on her bed.
He caught her look and smiled inwardly. "Is this okay, luv? I can go to the living room," he offered, kicking himself in the next moment because she would probably tell him to go.
Buffy yawned and sunk down under the covers, shaking her head. "It's okay. I'll probably fall asleep anyway. But you don't have to go. Watch the TV as long as you want. I can sleep through anything."
"I've no doubt," he smiled at her. He turned the channel to the Soap network and for the first little while Buffy watched as well, asking questions here and there about who was who and what was going on. She had never been into soaps and was slightly surprised that Spike was but not as much as she would have been a week ago.
Spike cast the occasional look at Buffy as they watched the show. He answered her questions happily, not caring what they were talking about as long as they were talking about something other than movie stuff. This seemed to be a big accomplishment, her allowing him into her room, her bed. He wasn't sure if this scheme of his would work or if it was foolhardy but he was getting to know her and she was getting to know him- with any luck soon she would feel she knew him enough to fall into his arms. Or like him enough. According to Xander's accounts from Cordelia that might not be that long.
Buffy's talking had slowed as he thought, her questions becoming infrequent. She was in the middle of asking one question when she dragged off, causing Spike to look over at her. She was fast asleep, her face turned towards him so she could see how peaceful she looked. He glanced at the clock and was surprised to see it was almost eleven. She had stayed up for almost the whole show, which may not have seemed like much of an accomplishment to other people but she had been active in his interest. Or maybe she was confused by the storylines and needed clarification- either way she had stayed attentive and then felt comfortable enough to fall asleep with him in bed with her.
He turned off the TV and straightened her blankets as he left the room. Unable to resist he leaned down and kissed her lightly on the top of the head, smiling. He turned off her light and let himself out of her suite, not sure of he would sleep that night.
Little by little SPike is breaking down Buffy's defenses. Will she cave completely? Find out in
Part 14: In the Name of Progress
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